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#1170481 - 11/28/18 07:20 PM Thursday's Diner
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 32458
Loc: Calera, Oklahoma
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
-
~Caskie Stinnett~
`````````````````


Little Johnny Jokes | Part 3



Mother, “English teacher asks class: “Which tense is the sentence ‘I AM BEAUTIFUL’?”

Little Johnny replies, “Clearly, past tense.””

````

Little Johnny goes to the zoo with his mom.
-
Johnny: "Mom, look, there’s a finger in the shark tank! Mom? Mooooom???!!!"

````

The class is having a guessing game and the teacher asks, “OK, what do you call someone who keeps on talking even though nobody else is interested anymore?”

Little Johnny shouts eagerly, “A teacher!”

````

Little Johnny comes home and his father sighs, "Alright, boy, out with your report card."

Johnny says, "I don't have it, dad."

"What? Why not?" asks his father.

"I loaned it to my friend. He wanted to freak out his parents."

````

Little Johnny to his mom: “I shot 4 goals at the soccer match today!”

Mom: “Wonderful, looks like your team won, right?”

Little Johnny: “Not really, we tied 2:2.”

````

Little Johnny plays “shoot the apple from the head” with his friends. The first shot lands directly in his eye. “Ooowww man, you got me right in the eye!” he complains to his friend.

But the other friend also wants a go and persuades Johnny that he is a much better shot. But bingo, the second shot gets Johnny in the other eye.

Johnny gives up: “Well I’ve had it with this game, I’m going home. Mom said I should come home once it gets dark anyway.”

````

Little Johnny was late for school. The teacher asked him why, and Little Johnny explained it was because he met a man who had lost his wallet on the street.

“Ah,” nodded the teacher, “you were helping him find it!”

“Um, not really,” said Johnny, “but I had to keep standing on it until he gave up and left.”

````

Teacher asks, “Who can tell me the chemical formula for water?”

Little Johnny pipes up, "HIJKLMNO"!

The teacher is puzzled, “What on Earth are you talking about, Johnny?”

Little Johnny looks hurt, “But sir, you yourself said yesterday that it's H to O!”

````

History teacher asks Little Johnny: Where was the French – English peace treaty from 1800 signed?
-
Little Johnny: “Bottom right corner.”

````

The class was told to paint a picture of cows grazing in a meadow.
-
Soon, Little Johnny lifts a hand that he’s finished and shows the teacher a blank sheet of paper.
-
“But Johnny, you didn’t paint anything on it?” says the teacher.
-
“Well, the cows have eaten all the grass and since there was no grass left, they just went away.”

````

Teacher tests Little Johnny, “OK, Johnny, create a sentence which starts with ‘I’.”

Little Johnny confidently starts, “I is...”

Teacher snaps, “No, Little Johnny. You must always say, ‘I am’.”

Little Johnny sighs, “Yes ma’am. ‘I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.’"

````

Little Johnny peeks through the keyhole of his parents’ bedroom one night. He stares for a minute and then, thoroughly disgusted, shakes his head, “And these people tell me I shouldn’t pick my nose?!”

````

Good morning everyboomie. welcome


Another lovely day, another 24 hours. pumpkin


It's going up to 74 degrees here today, and all I know is I have to get out and do something. yay


I may go to the sod farm, I may go shooting, but I have two pups that want to get out of the house too, so I probably won't go shooting my guns off. razz


Ana I'm sorry to hear about your god puppy. frown


I wish you all a super day. yes


joe wave
_________________________
There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats

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#1170489 - 11/28/18 10:09 PM Re: Thursday's Diner [Re: gymcandy1]
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/16/05
Posts: 28802
Loc: Usually up an Alabama Tree
Oh man Joe...if nothing else you just need to go outside and enjoy that 74 degree weather. Our temp at work has been hovering around 57 degrees inside. So, needless to say we've been weather our longjohns to stay warm lol

Have a great day Joe Ana Venus Family Gerry Connie L4L SortaB TaintedFury (keeping you and Dad in my thoughts and prayers) and the rest of the Diner gang when you get the chance to pop in laugh

How about two tall dark roasts Gerry? It's cold at work and they'll keep my hands warm yes

Thank you!

wave2
_________________________
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music

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#1170493 - 11/28/18 10:38 PM Re: Thursday's Diner [Re: gymcandy1]
venus Offline
Staff Reviewer
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 03/07/09
Posts: 8273
Loc: Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Wow, enjoy the nice weather, Joe. woot We had strong wind here today, which made it feel even colder than it was, so I can't even imagine your temperatures right now. lol

Soot, what is the temperature outside? Hope you stay warm tomorrow! shiver

Sorry to hear about the puppy, Ana. sad

It's Wednesday night here. I have another long day of work tomorrow, and then I have another 3 day weekend. grin

Have a great Thursday, everyone. fall
_________________________
Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?

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#1170494 - 11/28/18 10:51 PM Re: Thursday's Diner [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 76545
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Joe, I'd be out all day and squeeze it all in!

soot, that is chilly for sure to be sitting in! Not bad if you are outside moving around. Hope you get some heat!

venus, congrats on a three day weekend!Hope Thursday goes off without a hitch!

Have a great day all! THanks for the positive thoughts for my grandpuppy, Murphy!

Ana wave
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#1170506 - 11/29/18 02:50 AM Re: Thursday's Diner [Re: gymcandy1]
family Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 06/16/10
Posts: 3918
Loc: marietta,georgia
did the mashed potatoes by paula deen, we never put the onion in nor flour and mashed it, which is not what it call for, so we didn't go by the recipe. ana i am glad your grandpuppy is okay.


Edited by family (11/29/18 02:51 AM)

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#1170510 - 11/29/18 04:20 AM Re: Thursday's Diner [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
True Blue Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 23340
Loc: Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, soot, venus, Ana, family and everyone. Joe send some of those warm temps my way please! Soot that is way to cold to work! Two tall dark roast are ready for you! Venus hope you day flies by! Ana thinking of your grand pup. Family how did you like the potatoes? Coffee and tea are ready.
summer Hope everyone has a sunny day! summer
_________________________
Gerry

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#1170517 - 11/29/18 06:51 AM Re: Thursday's Diner [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 10662
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone, have a Wonderful Thump Day. It's been quite cool here, lows around 38 highs around 56. I'm enjoying the cooler temps. Poker night at the Eagles. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, BB Pancakes, Bacon, and Oatmeal in the NC. happydance12
_________________________
Connie

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#1170524 - 11/29/18 09:08 AM Re: Thursday's Diner [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 76545
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
family, what recipe? The only potato recipe she has with flour and onion is for croquette's? My grandpuppy is not ok, they are still not expecting him to survive the week. He is at the vets.

Connie, stay warm! I'd still trade you, but I know you aren't use to this weather!

Gerry, is it snowy bu you or just chilly? Have a happy day!

soot..stay warm! Bring the pups to work with you and cuddle!
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#1170538 - 11/29/18 10:25 AM Re: Thursday's Diner [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 47869
Loc: Alabama
Thumping Good Thursday Ya'll puppy

Looking for a nice quiet morning, followed by a busier afternoon.

Ana, so sorry to hear about your g'puppy. That's a hard thing. Hugs!

Have a great day wave
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#1170548 - 11/29/18 01:06 PM Re: Thursday's Diner [Re: gymcandy1]
family Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 06/16/10
Posts: 3918
Loc: marietta,georgia
her creamed potatoes from paulas deen southern cooking bible, and sorry to hear that about your grandpuppy and i am watching football.


Edited by family (11/29/18 01:09 PM)

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#1170586 - 11/30/18 02:13 AM Re: Thursday's Diner [Re: gymcandy1]
venus Offline
Staff Reviewer
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 03/07/09
Posts: 8273
Loc: Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Good night, everyone. sleep
_________________________
Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?

Top

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