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#1171378 - 12/09/18 07:25 PM Monday Joe's
gymcandy1 Online   happy
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 32458
Loc: Calera, Oklahoma
Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead. -

~Bill McGlashen~
````````````````


Pirate Jokes | Hilarrrrrrrious



Best first:


Have you ever heard any good pirate jokes?
[NO]
Well neither have ayyye!

````
Q: What happened to the pirate when his wooden leg caught fire?

A: He got burnt to the ground.

````
What subject are pirates best at at school? -

Arrrrt.

````
How did the pirate become a boxing champion so fast? -

Nobody was ready to take on his right hook.

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What do you call a pirate with two eyes, two hands and two legs? -

A beginner.

````
What does the pirate say when he steps on a Lego? -

Arrrrrgh!!!

````
Isn't it odd that the Pirates of the Caribbean DVD had a piracy warning?

````
To err is human. To arr is seriously pirate.

````
Why are pirates such eager readers of the Playboy? - Because of the arrrticles.

````
How do pirates communicate with each other? -

With an Aye phone.

````
What were the pirate’s words when he blew out the candles on his 80th birthday cake?

Answer: Aye matey!

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How do pirates know that they are pirates? - They think so, therefore they arrr.

````
What is a pirate’s favorite movie? - Booty and the Beast. (But it is arr-rated.)

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What do you get when you cross a parrot and a shark? - A bird that will talk your head off.

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In case his ship is sunk, every pirate carries a bar of soap with him at all times. - You know, to wash him ashore.

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Who was the first pirate? - Noah, the builder of the Arrrrk.

````

Steve: I know a pirate with a wooden leg called Joe.

Pete: Really? What did he call his hook?

````
What’s the difference between a pirate and a strawberry farmer?

The pirate buries his treasure, the farmer treasures his berries.

````
What is pirates’ favorite choice of music? - aRR n’ B

````
Pirate pick up lines:


- Is that a wooden leg or are you that happy to see me?

- Do you mind if I drop anchor in your lagoon?

- Care to do some booty plundering with me?

- Surrender your booty!

````
What kind of a ship is most feared by pirates? -

The Relationship.

````
How does a pirate declutter his ship? - By having a yarrrrd sale.

````
A pirate has stopped his pirating and mended his ways, but his parrot was just too bad, constantly swearing and refusing to behave. Finally the ex-pirate had enough of it. When the parrot started swearing again, he stuck it in the freezer for five minutes. When he fished it out again, the bird was very humble and said: “I promise I’ll be good now, John, no more swearing! Just one question – what on did the turkey do?”

````
Why don’t pirate marriages last much? - Because of all the arrrrguments.

````
Wooden pegs and hooks are really expensive these days. - They cost an arm and a leg.

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Why do pirates make great lawyers? Because they have very good arrrrguments.

````
Why is it so hard for pirates to learn to read? - Because they spend so much time at C.

````

Good morning everyboomie. happydance12


It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new week. grinch


New new new new new, I just love new! santadance


Good old new. wink


I hope you all had a great weekend. Sunday was nice here. We woke up to sunshine........mostly. hamster


It was still chilly, but got up to the 50s by mid afternoon. Missy took me for two walks. woot


Today I have to go get more groceries, and that's about it. yes


Have a happy day everyone. thumbsup


joe
_________________________
There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats

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#1171382 - 12/10/18 12:42 AM Re: Monday Joe's [Re: gymcandy1]
venus Offline
Staff Reviewer
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 03/07/09
Posts: 8273
Loc: Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
That's nice that Missy took you for a walk, Joe. grin

Gerry, the maintenance people haven't arrived yet. They started with the other building first, so I'm still waiting. smile Hope you have a great day!

It's Sunday night, and I'm off to sleep. Tomorrow is the beginning of a very busy week. woozy

Have a great Monday, everyone. tree
_________________________
Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?

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#1171389 - 12/10/18 06:05 AM Re: Monday Joe's [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
True Blue Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 23340
Loc: Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, venus and everyone. Joe nice Missy took you for 2 walks! Venus sorry they didn't show while you were home. Coffee and tea are ready.
tree Wishing everyone a Happy day! tree
_________________________
Gerry

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#1171392 - 12/10/18 06:37 AM Re: Monday Joe's [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 10662
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone, have a Super Monday. We had a Great time at St. Augustine. Working the kitchen for Bingo today. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, BB Pancakes, and Bacon in the NC. tree
_________________________
Connie

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#1171407 - 12/10/18 09:20 AM Re: Monday Joe's [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Online   content
Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 47869
Loc: Alabama
Magnificent Monday ya'll puppy

Still foggy and misty and cool in AL. I have routine vet visits for the babies, and hubby is winging his way to a conference. Hope you all have a wonderful day wavegirl
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#1171416 - 12/10/18 10:04 AM Re: Monday Joe's [Re: gymcandy1]
Gimli Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 06/15/05
Posts: 2330
Loc: Switzerland
Surprise surprise! Hello to all my fellow boomers and I hope you still remember the grumpy but mostly nice dwarf...
_________________________
"You ask me what life is. That's like asking me what a carrot is. A carrot is a carrot is a carrot" (A. Chekhov)

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#1171420 - 12/10/18 10:28 AM Re: Monday Joe's [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 76546
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
I guess I forgot to stop in last night. I worked and didn't get home till 8. I've had laryngitis for 6 days now and all I can do is whisper. The dogs all think its a game! lol I want to go back to bed, but work calls, so off I go.

Evelyne, so wonderful to see you in the diner again! I dusted off your seat! hearts

L4L, hope all get a clean bill of health at the vet!

Connie, glad you had fun! We missed you!

Gerry, I took a coffee to go! Thank you!

venus, hope the week goes smoothly for you!

Joe, let something fun pop in your shopping cart today!

Have a happy day all!
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#1171428 - 12/10/18 01:08 PM Re: Monday Joe's [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Online   content
Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 47869
Loc: Alabama
Gimli, how fun to see you! How has life been treating you?

Ana, hope your voice returns soonest. Lil Soot was negative and now waiting on Seagy's blood test (kidney). Doc will call/email as soon as the test is back, but this is one they send out I think.

A little cool so turned the heat on to cut the damp. Will be hot any moment now and turn it off. wave
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#1171442 - 12/10/18 02:56 PM Re: Monday Joe's [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 10662
Loc: winter springs fl.
Evelyne, welcome back to the dinner. wave12
_________________________
Connie

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#1171469 - 12/10/18 11:42 PM Re: Monday Joe's [Re: gymcandy1]
venus Offline
Staff Reviewer
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 03/07/09
Posts: 8273
Loc: Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Welcome back, Gimli!! wave12

Hope you feel better soon, Ana!

Hope the test goes well, L4L!

Good night, everyone. sleep12
_________________________
Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?

Top
#1171471 - 12/11/18 01:07 AM Re: Monday Joe's [Re: gymcandy1]
family Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 06/16/10
Posts: 3918
Loc: marietta,georgia
watching tv.

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