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#1171513 - 12/11/18 07:57 PM Hump Wednesday
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 32458
Loc: Calera, Oklahoma
They say the dog is man's best friend.

I don't believe that.

How many of your friends have you neutered?

~Larry Reeb~
````````````


What creature has four legs and one hand?
-
A happy Rottweiler returning from his morning walk.

````
What looks like a dog, lives in a dog house, eats dog food and is extremely dangerous?
-
A Rottweiler with a black belt in karate.

````
What market shouldn't you take your dog to?
-
The flea market.

````
Why did the dog lie down?
-
He found lying up too difficult.

````
Dogs are the best alarm clocks.
-
When they want out, there’s no snooze button that could tame that.

````
Dog dictionary

a. Toilet bowl: A heavenly dispenser of nice, fresh water.


b. Hearing: A variable skill.

Its intensity depends on whether it applies to a fridge door opening half a mile away behind three closed doors, or whether your own name is being shouted in an angry way or in a way that threatens Vet (see Vet).

c. Garbage bin/bag: Source of food.

Spread contents over as wide an area as possible.


d.Drooling: When humans are eating, drooling can be a very effective food-producing skill.

For best results, drool must be gotten onto the humans’ trousers/skirt.


Use also for fun – when driving in a car with humans, place head between two humans in the front seat.

Drool gently and in great volume on their arms/shoulders.

Rejoice at effects.


e. Resting place: Anything, really.

White, freshly vacuumed surfaces with good capacity for getting hair stuck to it are best.


f. Sofa: See resting place.

Also serves as napkin after particularly satisfying meals (see Roadkill).


g. Vet: Satan, the Destroyer of Worlds, Bringer of Woe, Remover of Testicles.


h. Leash: A device allowing you to lead your human to a place you desire.

Excellent for muscle-building exercise.


i. Bicycle: Very good cardio equipment.

If you find the exercise/the rider too slow for you, you can increase its speed by running even closer to the vehicle and barking.

It will pick up its pace very satisfyingly.


j. Fireworks: A sure sign that the world as we know it is coming to an end and the reign of Vets (see Vet) is beginning.


k. Sniffing: A polite way of showing interest in the creature you are meeting.

With dogs, rectal area is best.

When meeting humans, sniff the crotch.


l. Roadkill: One of the most universal items you can find.

Can be used as food, deodorant or toy.

````


Good morning everyboomie. wave2


I hope everybody slept well last night. happydance12


I still have a little sand in my eyes........and it really hurts!! taz


We had a pretty good Tuesday. Pretty windy, and pretty cool. Missy made me walk around the park twice. lab


I went to town in the afternoon and picked up a new hand gun that I ordered on my birthday. yay


I have 3 guns and 600 rounds of ammo, and I'm ready for 'anybody' to "make my day'.


Speaking of making my day.....GIMLI!!! yay


It's great to see you in the diner again Evie. woot


Have a happy day everybody. thumbsup


joe
_________________________
There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats

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#1171524 - 12/11/18 10:46 PM Re: Hump Wednesday [Re: gymcandy1]
family Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 06/16/10
Posts: 3918
Loc: marietta,georgia
going to bridge.

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#1171526 - 12/11/18 11:16 PM Re: Hump Wednesday [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 76546
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Happy Hump Day, Joe and all!

I have to run, it's been a long day. Today is another one of those long days!
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#1171527 - 12/11/18 11:18 PM Re: Hump Wednesday [Re: gymcandy1]
venus Offline
Staff Reviewer
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 03/07/09
Posts: 8273
Loc: Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Have a great day Joe, family, Ana and all who follow. wave12

It's Tuesday night, and I'm off to sleep. Like Ana, I have a long day tomorrow. woozy

Have a great Wednesday, everyone. tree
_________________________
Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?

Top
#1171532 - 12/12/18 03:40 AM Re: Hump Wednesday [Re: gymcandy1]
Gimli Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 06/15/05
Posts: 2330
Loc: Switzerland
Good morning everybody

Good morning Joe kissy

I am happy to be back at your diner Joe. Now I know what I missed all those past years...

The downside of living in Europe is that when you all get up in the morning, my day is almost done. Means when you drink looneys hot chocolate in the evening, I am already sleeping. Means that when I came in this morning, all hot chocolate was gone whistle Ah well....

Wishing you all a successful day, and people: no stress!
_________________________
"You ask me what life is. That's like asking me what a carrot is. A carrot is a carrot is a carrot" (A. Chekhov)

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#1171536 - 12/12/18 04:34 AM Re: Hump Wednesday [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
True Blue Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 23340
Loc: Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, family, Ana, venus, Gimli and everyone. Joe enjoy your day. Family good luck with the bridge game. Ana and venus hope it is not to hectic a day for you both. Gimli welcome back to the Diner! Fresh coffee, tea, and hot chocolate are ready and and waiting!
happydance12 tree Enjoy a Happy Day everyone! tree happydance12
_________________________
Gerry

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#1171543 - 12/12/18 07:34 AM Re: Hump Wednesday [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 10662
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone, have a Wonderful Hump Day. Queen of Hearts at the Eagles tonight. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, BB Pancakes, Bacon, and French Toast in the NC. tree reindeer
_________________________
Connie

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#1171599 - 12/12/18 08:36 PM Re: Hump Wednesday [Re: connie]
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 15349
Loc: Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good night Diner buddies. wave2
_________________________
It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

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#1171609 - 12/12/18 09:40 PM Re: Hump Wednesday [Re: gymcandy1]
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/16/05
Posts: 28803
Loc: Usually up an Alabama Tree
Hello from California everyone... work has kept me busy these past days. Joe, your humor and Gerry's coffee have been my saving grace.

Sleep well everyone

wave2
_________________________
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music

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#1171618 - 12/13/18 12:02 AM Re: Hump Wednesday [Re: gymcandy1]
venus Offline
Staff Reviewer
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 03/07/09
Posts: 8273
Loc: Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Good night, everyone. sleep12
_________________________
Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?

Top

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