Hey iva, good to see you here.

<hand over ID

You hand over your ID. The nutcase with the monocle examines it and scowls.

"What is the meaning of this?"

Your carefully forged ID card bears a photograph of Winnie the Pooh and the name of Prince Tutankhamen. Well, you didn't think anybody would care to look that closely. Banzai, sucker!!!

You are clapped in irons and chains. And rope. More rope. Any ideas, Houdini?

>cry?

You are a big wuss.

>wriggle?

Wriggling will only make the bonds that much tighter. You are still a big wuss.

>_

Go on diet.

Interesting, but too slow.

>Tap dance.

The deck begins to vibrate.

>

How will you get an ID!!!!!!!

You think for a while, suddenly you have an idea....

>use idea with censor

You whisper the idea to censor. He replies "What the {beeeeeeeeeeeeep}! Who gave you that {beeeep}, {beeeeeeeeeeeeep} idea?"
The censor is censoring himself too!

The censor unties you and you go aboard the censor ship.

To the sailor the censor says he will erase the ship, the sailor and everything. The message will self destroy in 10 seconds.

The censor and his crew go back to the censor ship and sail away, seconds later the pirate ship disappears in the sea.

>look censor ship

Taking a closer look at the deck of the censor ship you see huge fires that spit a lot of smoke into the air, big horns beeping almost all the time and fat men walking around with scissors in their hands.

>_



Bernard

and the next thing you know you find yourself in an open field west of a big white house with a boarded front door.
There is a small mailbox here. Figures they'd know how to get to Zork!!

> N

You walk north into the forest. It's beginning to get darker.

> W

You walk west and find an old aztec ruin. The sun is going down fast now.

> examine ruin

It's just a run-of-the-mill aztec ruin. There's a small goat standing at the top.

The sky is pitch black. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

> E

You blunder blindly into the forest.

> S

You have been eaten by a grue. The world goes dark. You have received 3 points out of a possible 1,729.

You wake up with a start and find yourself lying next to a large painting. Vincent van Gogh is looking at you with concern.

> _

"oh no" you think to yourself do I have to cut off an ear to get out of this??

"Vincent!" you cry plaintively, "Please tell me... what on earth is a grue?"

Vincent looks at you with a benevolent expression. Half his teeth are missing, he has a bulbous wart on the end of his nose. From origins such as this are great painters made.

Vincent furrows his brow. "Uhhhhhh..."

>is there anyone alive who knows what a grue is?

Don't ask me, blame Demosthenes for bringing that one in.

>ok, forget the grue. Examine painting.

You forget the grue and examine the painting.

>_

> what is a grue?

The grue is a sinister, lurking presence in the dark places of the earth. Its favorite diet is adventurers, but its insatiable appetite is tempered by its fear of light. No grue has ever been seen by the light of day, and few have survived its fearsome jaws to tell the tale.

> Thanks.

I don't understand "Thanks."

You wonder how it's possible that Vincent suddenly understands English!

>examine painting

It's a painting of big, yellow flowers, you fall asleep again. This time you wake up on another ship.

>look ship

The ship is called The Sunflower. The look-out cries land in sight!

You look at the land, Indians and turkeys are on the beach cheering and waving.

>_



Bernard

Simultaneous Post.

Don't recognize simultaneous post.

[[[[[[Plucked from some other universe and no longer applicable) The painting is of a vase with sunflowers. Reflected in the vase you can just make out what appears to be a can of Grue Repellent.

>Talk to Vincent.

"Where were you when you painted this painting?" you ask.

Vincent asks for a translation into Dutch or French. You use hand gestures to get across what you need (you think). Vincent nods. "The Bistro ala Aztec" he says.]]]]]]

>Never mind.

Been there, done that.

>Talk turkey

Gobble Gobble Runaway! Runaway! Runaway!

>

The ship drops his anchors, together with the crew you go aboard a small rowing boat.
They row the boat to the beach. When you leave the boat a little shiver goes up an down your back.
Your split personalities fused.

An Indian offers you a nice wig, you ask him where you can find Le Bistro à l'Aztec. He points to the south west. You ask if it's far away, the Indian nods.

>go SW

There's a KFT here.

>enter KFT

You enter the KFT and order a bucket of turkey wings.

>use wings

You use the wings and you fly up into the sky.

>go SW

You keep on flying until your arms are to tired, you land on a clearing in the woods.

>_



Bernard

>eat the turkey wings

You cannot be serious. You've just been flapping them in high altitude for the past 30 minutes.

>don't care, I'm hungry and I want turkey wings

On your own head be it

>eat the turkey wings

You eat the turkey wings. Now you have no means of return transport. You are a big twit.

>oh rats

There are no rats here

>look

You are in a clearing in the woods. I cannot elaborate any further. Why don't you do some exploring, you lazy numbskull?

>_

>N

You walk north. You are standing in a small clearing. In the distance you can hear a waterfall. At your feet you're startled to discover an old, dusty skeleton. It looks like the poor soul was eaten by grues.

Nearby is an old battered lantern.

>Take Lantern

You pickup the lantern.

>Look at lantern

A standard oil lantern. It's out of fuel.

>Look at lantern again

An Esso lantern. It's still out of fuel.

>Look at lantern again

An Exxon lantern. Believe it or not, it's still out of fuel.

>REM Nice blinking prompt Demosthenes!!!!

REMARK made.

>_



Bernard

REM How does he do that blinking prompt? Oh, and I liked the Dutch translations!

REMARK made.

>_