>read manual

You read the manual. If only you had a carrier pigeon by which to despatch the registration card - but you're in the land of The Whizzer now, and his rules apply - no jiggery pokery allowed. On a scrap of paper you cleverly forge an approximation of a first class stamp, and mail the card. Let's hope the postal service is more efficient in Oz.

>ransack random shopping bags

You ransack the shopping bags of adjacent shoppers who are otherwise engaged. You procure: a purple cashmere sweater; a tin of stewing steak; a bottle of washing up liquid; a diamond ring.

>I like the last item best.

I thought you might. You now have an inventory mostly full of junk. Proceed with caution.

>_

Meanwhile your companions have also been ransacking shopping bags and all of a sudden you notice Pepe Le Pew doing a chicken impression with his arms & holding a DVD in his hand.
You go over to him & instantly notice a flowery but slightly antiseptic odor instead of the normal stench.
> "What have you found?" you say. Pepe lifts up his arms & says "Look!" Underneath each arm you see a stuck-on bathroom deodorizer - the type you have to press to release a squirt. Pepe puts his arms down again and a stronger whiff of the odor is emitted bringing tears to your eyes "Also I found this" > you look at the DVD he's holding. It's 'How to be like Antonio Banderas (step-by-step guide)' You wonder whether graceful chicken impersonations are included.
> Look around for Michael. You see someone with orange accesories wearing an enormous sombrero with lots of what looks like little cat charms dangling from the rim. > Approach Michael. He moves his head & all of a sudden you hear the sound of a hundred hissing & meowing cats. "It's stain resistant too" he says. "Also I've found this, it's a solar powered, all weather, internet linked, handheld Adventure Game Consol" > Look closely at the advertising on the packaging. It says 'Perfect for whiling away those hours when you're stuck in a field'. 'FREE GAME included: 'Intrigue in Farmer Frank's Cabbage & Carrot Corner'

You can't see Dirk anywhere & by now Lord O'Scars has finished dancing & shoppers are beginning to disperse & pick up their shopping. Suddenly one of the shoppers shouts 'thieves! thieves! someone's stolen my washing-up liquid & all of a sudden there is a furor & more shouting, you can just make out '..my ..ewing steak ..... ple cash..swe..ter...'etc Time for you & your companions to > RUN!.............

REM Re: handbag - I know what my one's like & I'm not going near anyone elses!

.... You're outside the mall now!

You feel a little craving, you realize you're hungry. Hungry like a ..?

>eat lion

You eat the lion, it doesn't taste too bad but you did eat better tasting candy bars before. You want to keep the wrapping though, there's a nice bar code on it.

>seek register

You're close to a shopping mall, you fool! Cash registers all over the place. Could you be a little more specific, pooolice?

>sorry parser!

It's good to know you regret your foolishness Let's continue the game, shall we?




Bernard

Find The Whizzer

A penguin with a large moustache waddles up to you (is it a penguin or is it Hercule Poirot)? "The Whizzer has heard of your mighty deeds, O King of the Forest," says the penguin. "He would like you to join him. Follow me, please."

You try to straighten your crown, and frown at your companions, hoping that they will, for the first time, realize the seriousness of the situation and behave accordingly.

You walk down a long corridor with stained glass windows, each representing a different sort of tree. You would like to draw pictures of them, certain that they are important, but you don't have time.

The penguin reaches a set of double doors at the end of the corridor. These appear to be made of a black material and show various figures in attitudes of torment and supplication. The penguin throws open the doors, and you enter another chamber.

The chamber reveals more stained glass windows, each with mysterious shapes and symbols. You can hear the sound of a drum and a beautiful female voice singing in an unknown tongue. Your companions begin marching solemnly behind you to the beat of the drum.

Ahead of you is a sort of throne, which slowly begins to revolve. Seated on the thrown is a small figure in wizard's robes, holding a staff that resembles a crowbar. Is the Whizzer an Ooompa Loompa? It's hard to say, because half of his face is covered by a white mask. On the side with the mask, his hair appears to have been resently singed down to the scalp. On the other side, you see curly hair and one beady brown eye.

>

>approach The Whizzer

You walk slowly towards The Whizzer. Although you cannot fully see his face, he appears to be smiling at you in a kindly fashion. He beckons you to a small area before his throne. Your companions follow you closely. The drum has stopped beating, the female voice has quietened. The atmosphere within the chamber is expectant and tense.

>speak to The Whizzer

"Good evening, Mr Whizzer," you say respectfully. "I have travelled many miles, through galaxies and strange continents, to meet with you. I have met with strange lifeforms; I have had many extraordinary experiences during my long journey, a journey which now ends in your magnificent domain."

The Whizzer listens, now regarding you solemnly. He opens his mouth to speak.

>_

Then his eyes lock on an empty space to your right, and his mouth tightens almost imperceptibly. This time when he speaks, there's a certain chill to his voice you find vaguely threatening.

"The lion." The line is out of context, and you're honestly confused.

"The what, your whizzerliness?"

"The lion who was with you. What have you done with him?"

Uh oh. Telling the truth will almost certainly get you in trouble, but you don't want to think about what the Whizzer will do if he catches you lying.

>lie anyway

You grin affably and decide to make the best of it.

"He was...uh...otherwise detained. Told us he'd meet us later." Probably best to leave your story a little wriggle room, just in case.

"Detained. And what, pray tell, did he find more important than an audience with me?"

> stall

"He didn't say, Mr. Whizzer. He seemed very delici...er...distracted. Very, very distracted. About something."

"I see." You're not sure he's buying it. "Well then, inform him when next you see him that I wish to speak with him. Privately." The Whizzer leaps up suddenly, and whatever hidden emotions were written on his face are suddenly replaced with kindly enthusiasm. "And in the meantime, what, pray tell, has brought you here? Is one of you, perhaps, searching for a brain?" For some reason, he's looking pointedly at you as he says this. "Are you here to look someone up in the magic mirror?" The Whizzer is remarkably animated now, and you hardly have time to wonder about that mirror before he throws a large bolt of fire from his hand towards the ceiling. His voice booms now, echoing throughout the chamber. "Have you come to slay Glinda, the wicked witch of the South?" And suddenly he is stock still and quiet again: "Or possibly, just possibly, you have come in search of Bistro L'Aztec?"

The Whizzer is staring directly at you.

Suddenly the Whizzer bursts out in song and dance! Your ears are hurting and you pray to the holy Android Lord Feather to end this! You feel miserable. Finally the music stops, only the drummer keeps on playing.

>use sign language on drummer

Using your arms and hands you make clear to Phil he should stop.
There's a peaceful silence now. Moments later your stomach starts to roar.....





Bernard

Obfuscate.

"Just my lunch acting up!" you say quickly. The Whizzer gives you a suspicious look. "Turn out your pockets," he says. "Each of you, one by one, and tell me what you want from me."

Pepe removes the contents of his pockets -- an empty perfume bottle and a book of love poetry in the original French. "I wish to be more debonair, and to permanently solve my odor problem."

Dirk steps forward, puts his teaser gun and his Star Fleet Academy 101 manual on the floor. "I want better uniforms, please." he says politely.

Michael smiles at The Whizzer, and from his pockets he removes a wad of used chewing gum, a nail file, a miniature crossbow and some ceiling wax. "I would like an impermeable barrier around my body that birds cannot enter," he says. You notice that the crowbar with the emerald is not among the contents, and you wonder where he has hidden it.

Lord Oscars bows deeply. From his pockets he removes a diary, a ticket hole puncher and a letter from someone named Kate. "I would like to be de-rusted, and to be returned to my rightful position as lead dancer in the Emerald City Ballet."

Now The Whizzer looks at you.

>Inv.

You show the Whizzer handbag, dangly earrings, silver shoes, washing up liquid, a diamond ring, a 'How to be like Antonio Banderas DVD, a sombrero with cat charms, and a hand-held adventure game console.

>Talk to The Whizzer.

"I want to get rid of this crown," you say. "And yes, I want to find Bistro L'Aztec." You are wondering nervously if The Whizzer knows that you are carrying stolen goods.

"The item I feared you carried is not here," says The Whizzer. "I am happy to see that, and I forgive your theft of my people's goods and treasure. I do, however, have a task for you to perform before I can grant your varied requests.

"A giant is now roaming my realm. He is named after a drawing tool, and he is a threat to my people and all I hold dear. You will subdue him."

>

REM

A bit on the serious side now. (Yes, I can be serious!)

This thread reminded me of all the great text adventures I played in the past. I can't speak for my fellow contributors of course, but for me it is a fountain of fun in a difficult period.

What I'm really trying to say is, I feel that adventure games have lost something since that time.
With the text adventure, you had to use your own imagination to fill in the voices, the scenery, the sounds, the music, the characters etc.
It's like reading, compared to go and see the movie. The movie often is a disappointment when you have read the book!

Back in the old times one person, who had an idea about a story, would be sitting in the bedroom, working on a computer with limited capacity, writing the game and saving it to tape before going to sleep.
Nowadays a game can't be made without writers, graphic artists, programmers, composers, musicians, voice actors, art directors, a PR staff, just to mention a few. All these people have to be paid and in the end, we, the game players, are paying them!

Sure I like the new games with the amazing graphics and great Dolby surround effects. Somehow though, I feel there's something missing. Maybe it's that little touch of magic .....

Remark ended


Bernard

>REM What I've noticed lately is that companies keep spending more and mroe money getting the graphics and the game engine working, and then when they're done seem to run out of time and money to fill their game world with interesting things. For recent examples, see Oblivion (endless fields of grass), Assassin's Creed (endless onslaught of identical missions), and the recent trend towards games that look and play great, but cost $50 and only last 6 hours.

Graphics rendering keeps getting better, which raises the demands for high-quality textures, detailed 3D-models and expansive worlds--but companies still are under the same pressures to actually make a profit. The result has been gorgeous games that don't really have much to them.

Ah well.

Remark Ended.

Prelude to accepting quest:

> "Forgive me great Whizzer" you say "but we are no match for a threatening giant, is there no other task you can give us?"
"No" says the Whizzer "that's the deal". You look round at your companions, they look so forlorn. "Do you want to do this?" you ask & immediately they all brighten up & unanimously say "YES!" Okay, "How big is this giant?" you ask the Whizzer. "That is for you to find out" he says. The group start to head for the exit..... "not so fast!" the Whizzer says "please leave all your inventory items as security except for the handbag which is now officially registered & you may hang on to the games consol. I'm not sure about the authenticity of the stamp but I do love a good forgery."

The group now make their way to the exit carrying only the handbag & games consol & maybe a crowbar with emerald?.

You suddenly remember that the consol has internet access. >Google drawing instruments. You browse lots of sites - there are pencils, rotring pens, pastels, charcoal, conte crayons, chinese brushes. Nothing that a giant could be named after. You browse a little more & a more unusual drawing instrument is listed, aah! the giant's name must be Nero Beambar. Google giants & look up Nero Beambar - he's also known as the mightly Protractor & 'has been the giant scourge of the Gillikin Country for 2000 years' >

> REM Nice improvising, chrissie. Think I'd better try some improvising of my own now...


>Accept Quest

Admire Accept Quest Document.

The handheld gaming console starts beeping frenetically. On it scrolls the official Accept Quest coded document.

>Give handheld game console to Whizzer.

The Whizzer looks at the Accept Quest doc and smiles smugly. "It's official, then," he says, handing you back the console.

"Once you have dealt with Nero Beambar, you can return and I will fulfill the wish of everyone in this room," announces The Whizzer.

You turn to leave. "I have one question before we go, Great Whizzer," you say. "Who is the parser?"

"Ah, to discover that, you must learn parser-tongue," says The Whizzer. The drum beat begins, as does the voice, apparently singing in parser-tongue. You all turn smartly and march out of the room.

The door closes and you are alone once again in the corridor. Michael stoops and picks up the crowbar with emerald that is sitting in an umbrella stand by the door.

"Why did you leave that at the door before we went in?" you ask him.

"Why ever not?" says Michael.

>_

> "MICHAEL" you say firmly "you are hiding something from me. Now please answer my question! Why di....." Michael puts his hands up in defeat "okay, okay, I'll tell you. Many years ago when I was a young 'lad', & birds respected folk like myself, I used to read a lot. My favourite subject was anything to do with Mexico as I never imagined it to rain or snow there & I thought it would be a wonderful place to retire to. I came across many stories. One of them was to do with an Aztec princess called Tipzitoze, I don't know the details of her life but apparently she was important enough to a small tribe living at the foot of the mountains to build a statue of her. Two emeralds (rumoured to be magical) were 'her eyes' & they were deeply embedded. Soon after, one of the emeralds was stolen & legend has it that the emerald would adhere forever to the tool used to remove it. I don't know why. It's unusual for a crowbar to have an emerald attached & I wondered" You understand now & thank Michael for being honest with you.......... >

REM I'm finding it enthralling to see how everybody's minds work and how they see and work through different situations in the game. I've laughed over and over at this thread. I think partly it's so much fun because it's creative and cooperative at the same time. I don't know how you would do that in a game that we would all buy off the shelf (maybe a multi-player game might come close)?

REM Ended