I'm too scared to examine the spaceship, Bernard, the aliens might beam me up - and even worse there may be no shopping opportunities on the spaceship

What about the Templers, they used to turn up a lot.
Templers use their magic arts to make a space ship and are propelled back to Eygpt to design the pyramids

>inv

You have 5 item(s) in your inventory:
3 red herrings, an empty wallet and a pocket sword.

>_


(So, no shopping anyway Jenny!)
(old lady please use use spoiler tags when you're ahead of the other players!)



Bernard

Disembowel herring with sword.
You find a gold credit card, great for shoppity shopping.

Oh you boomers

>look at shop

You see a small gift shop with a ghost pirate behind the counter. He's selling strange shaped bottle openers in all sizes.

>_



Bernard

!!!!!

WW

>Disembowel ghost pirate with sword.

You can't disembowel a ghost.

>Use empty wallet on ghost pirate.

The ghost pirate cheerfully accepts your empty wallet and tells you to close your eyes. He then hands you the head of Medusa. "How did I use this earlier when it wasn't even in my inventory?" you gasp. "Yo ho ho You be traveling the Mysts O'Tyme!" says the pirate. "Can I interest you in a bottle opener? Your future self will need one."

Should you trust him....

Never,ever trust a dead pirate, however if he's the only shop in town we may have to do a business deal with him and hope it does not explode on us. Maybe he has a rubber chicken an essentile for all adventurers.
Bernard. how can I be ahead when we have only just started

>buy bottle opener

You hand over the credit card to the pirate, he copies it and hands back the card and a bottle opener.

>turn around

You turn around and see a strange whirl in the sky. Suddenly a wardrobe appears. The doors open and a beautiful young woman steps out. A luggage trunk with small feet is following her. She opens the trunk and takes out latex gloves and some swabs. She asks if you're willing to give a DNA sample.

>_

> in the time it took for you to turn round the ghost has used your card details to buy a new ship. You are now maxed out so forget any more shoppity shopping. I told you not to trust a dead pirate

>Use sword to disembowel second red herring.

Inside the red herring is (you were hoping for another credit card, I presume?) a piece of cork. You consider throwing it away in frustration, but slip it into your pocket anyway.

>Use cork on dead pirate.

That cannot be closed up.

>Use cork on dead pirate's shop.

A sign appears form nowhere: This Shop is now Closed. You hear a howl of fury as the shop and the pirate disappear. You are now alone with the beautiful young woman.

>Open mouth.

The young woman takes a saliva sample and puts it into a test tube. She suddenly morphs into a beautiful young alien woman with blue skin, a lab coat, and horn-rimmed glasses.

Bernard falls maddly in love can we trust his judgement any longer?

>give third red herring to alien woman

Alien woman slaps you.

>look

A little distance away, by a boulder, half-covered in dust, lies an old green bottle. To the East is a strange whirl in the sky. To the North is a wardrobe. To the South is a burnt patch of land where there used to be a pirate shop. to the West is an angry alien woman holding a herring.

>_

> take of glasses

You take of the sun glasses preparing to kiss the young alien woman, than you see the pointy long teeth in her mouth and you take a step back. She doesn't seem to notice your reluctance. She takes a bottle of tequila out of her pocket and fills the glasses you have in your hands. You see a worm floating in one of the glasses.

>_


Bernard