Before I join Jack Nicholson's basketball team, I'd like to ask:

Established fact: drop a cat from some height: it always lands on its feet.
Murphy's law: drop your toast on floor: always lands buttered side down!

If you tie your toast buttered side up to your cat's back,
then drop your cat from some height, what will happen

Most likely the cat will land on its feet but it will be in an agitated state as it tries to figure out what's tied on its back. To rid itself of the hitchhiker the cat will rub the toast, butter side doing the most damage, on any available object in its path....furniture, pant legs, carpeting, loose children and what not. Cats don't like things tied or fastened in any way to their bodies. Take for instance putting scotch tape on the bottom of opposing paws and setting the cat free. The cat doesn't want to put its tape covered paws down on the floor because of the foreign objects stuck on them. To compensate, the cat does a dance that appears to be a combination of a ball going through a pinball machine and gymnastics. Sounds logical to me

You guys just made my day!

I believe it will some to rest just above the ground, spinning slowly

I just tried this at home. Not recommended for the nervously dispositioned.
I buttered the toast and attempted to attach it to my cat's back using, per Cue's recommendation, Scotch tape.
Several scratches later I dropped the cat, the scotch tape gave way, the cat flew in one direction and landed on its feet and the toast landed butter-side down.
At this point I stepped on the toast and slid into the table thus sending its contents flying across the kitchen. The milk, sugar and Corn Flakes all landed upside down whereupon the cat returned to lick up all the milk, my dogs appeared and ate all the corn flakes, an army of ants appeared to eat all the sugar.
The moral is that if you want a clean kitchen floor, try attaching toast to your cat.
I have no idea what happened to the toast. I think it's under the fridge.

No no no....you need to get a special adjustable "slip-on-toast-rack",
which slides easily on cat's back, with little straps fastened under
the cat's belly; go to kitchen supplies at WalMart. Welcome.

So glad I don't have a cat

put scotch tape on dee's opposing feet. cue was working with a flawed theory - some cats throw themselves over , pull the tape off , then chase the perpetrator until cornered , bitting them on the ankle...........

AHEM,
Since I seem to be the only one here to speak out
in the kat's defence...
Remember we are objects to be Worshiped, not Tortured..
BTW...Don't forget we also have quite large teeth
and claws we keep sharpened on a regular basis.
So don't even try...

hehehehe!!!! I have all these visions of your stories going on in my head now. You are all hilarious...and might I add..poor kitty!!

i know if i even thought about it , melodee would conduct her own experiment on me ! i hope denis makes the team !

I wrapped the cat with gauze to hold the toast on her back and then put her on top of the bookcase. When she jumped off the bookcase, she landed on her feet with toast intact, but then ran under the sofa. I had to get the broom to get her out from under the sofa, but then she streaked across the floor and ran under the chair. I moved the chair and she ran behind the curtains. I shook the curtains and she ran behind the vertical blinds over the patio door. Now I have buttered skirts on both sofa and chair, greasy curtains, slippery blinds ... but the toast was securely right side up. After unwrapping Kitty Tut and retrieving the toast, I discovered it was covered with cat hair and dust bunnies. Threw the toast in the trash and it landed right side up, but I'm not going to eat it.

An excellent puzzle in the name of science!

I prepared the toast, and the cat, ready for the experiment.

Placed the toast next to the cat and the cat ate the toast. Experiment failed!

Bernie

The cat landed on his feet and the dog ate the toast off the cat's back...

The cat is traumatized now and running berserk. Vet wonders what has upset her so badly. "Ummmmm, I don't know." Bought a calming collar for $25 but so far the cat is still acting psycho. I think this experiment has ended very badly so I must conclude from a scientific view that cats and buttered toast do not belong together. Maybe it was the gauze. I probably should have used superglue. Wonder if the dog is up for an experiment - in the name of scientific research, of course. Wait a minute, a PETA rep is knocking on my door.

Wait a minute, are you supposed to toast and butter the bread BEFORE you tape it to the cat?

uh oh ...