Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
Rita Rudner
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The owner of a drugstore arrives at work to find a man leaning heavily against a wall.

The owner goes inside and asks his clerk what’s up.

"He wanted something for his cough, but I couldn’t find the cough syrup," the clerk explains. "So I gave him a laxative and told him to take it all at once."

"Laxatives won’t cure a cough, you idiot," the owner shouts angrily.

"Sure it will," the clerk says, pointing at the man leaning on the wall. "Look at him. He’s afraid to cough."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

The Smiths were shown into the dentist's office, where Mr. Smith made it clear he was in a big hurry.

"No fancy stuff, Doctor," he ordered, "No gas or needles or any of that stuff. Just pull the tooth and get it over with."

"I wish more of my patients were as stoic as you," said the dentist admiringly. "Now, which tooth is it?"

Mr. Smith turned to his wife.."Show him, honey."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A British doctor says, "Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can
take a kidney out of one man, put it in another man, and have him looking
for work in six weeks."

A German doctor says, "That's nothing . We can take a lung out of one
person, put it in another man,and have him looking for work in four weeks."

A Russian doctor says, "In my country, medicine is so advanced we take half
a heart out of one person, put it in another man,and have both of them
looking for work in two weeks."

The American doctor, not to be outdone, says, "You guys are way behind us.
We just took a man with no brain out of Texas, put him in the White House,
and now half the country is looking for work.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A woman rushes to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out.

She rattles off, "Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were blood-shot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! What's wrong with me, Doctor?"

The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says, "Well, I can tell you one thing... there ain't nothing wrong with your eyesight."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A physician claims these are actual comments from his patients made while he was performing colonoscopies:

1. "Take it easy, Doc, you're boldly going where no man has gone before."

2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"

3. "Can you hear me NOW?"

4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

5. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."

6. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"

7. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out. You do the Hokey Pokey...."

8. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"

9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must acquit!"

10. "Hey, Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."

11. "Could you write me a note for my wife, saying that my head is not, in fact, up there?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Father: (at hospital looking through glass at newly arrived babies)

"Kitchy kitchy koo. Look, she smiled...

isn't she adorable?"

Friend: "But your kid didn't smile."

Father: "I was talking about the nurse."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Arthritis is so cruel

"I'll tell you," he said, "I've learned that arthritis is the cruellest disease."

"Crueller than cancer?" his friend asked.

"You bet," the first codger replied, "It makes every single one of your joints stiff, except the right one."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the maternity ward of a hospital, new-born girl baby looks over at new-born boy baby and asks, "Are you a girl baby or a boy baby?"

The boy baby quickly chirps up, "I'm a boy baby!"

"How can you tell?" asks girl baby.

"Easy," says boy baby. And, with that, he threw off the blankets, hoisted up his itty-bitty night-shirt and proudly pointed downward. "See.....blue booties"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie.

I don't get that arthritis joke.

What's everyone up to?

I'm up to my second cup-o-joe.

I like my joe with lots-o-cream & sugar.

Sometimes a little too much joe with too much sugar makes me a little too much joe you know?

That's when Mom sends me outside to play.

"But Mom it's 27 degrees out."

Bouncing off the walls get me in trouble every time.

I hope you all have a happy day.

joe

Good morning Joe.Indian Rose ring neck Parakeets
are my parrots.
I hope everyone have a marvelous day

Good morning Boomers Rain here snow almost gone and mild temp. Have a great day all

Morning Boom Boom Buddies~

Hi Joe Thanks for the funny openers Ellensberg blues are just a blue rock~


Hi Haruola Have a nice day
love your avitar~


Hi Sue Have a nice day
love your avitar too!!

Hi Ana I think Venus posted a couple weeks ago she was having computer probs
and it would be a while b4 she got a new one


Have a nice day Boom Boom Buddies Karen

Good Morning Joe, Haroula, Cailyn and Karen. It's 50 degrees and foggy here. Snow is almost all gone. Wishing you all a Happy Day!

Good morning.Wow we have temps in the high forties, later in the fifties. Unbelievable but I'm not complaining. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. Thanks Joe for your openers. You had me laughing out loud again. You rock. Morning Haroula, Sue, Karen, Gerry, and everyone who comes in later. Gail are your temps like ours?

Thinking about getting ready for work now. Have a great Tuesday everyone. Please find a little time to exercise. It's important.

Midgie

Good morning everyone. Not sure what's on the agenda for the day yet. If I have my way, it will have shopping in it somewhere. We do need to go to the grocery store. To all here and all who follow, enjoy your Tuesday. Danish and Cinnamon buns in the NC.

Good Morning Boomers

Joe, funny.

Haroula, I have a parakeet that talks contunuously. Beautifully bright yellow.

Cailyn, snow almost all gone here too.

Karen, have a super day!

Gerry, nice weather here also.

Midge, we're having a heat wave. 50 degrees. Woo Hoo!

Connie, bring on the Danish I'll put on the coffee! Enjoy whatever plans you decide on.

Nothing on my agenda today either. Gaming is looking good!

Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies.

My SIL's mother, who had been under hospice care for several weeks and, a few days ago, suffered kidney failure, passed early yesterday morning. Would you continue to keep her and her family in your prayers? Thank you.

Hi guys and Terrific Tuesday

I missed ya'll yesterday! I was awakened by thunder which tossed me out of the bed. Cable was out, net was out, phones were out, and in about 10 minutes, electricity was out. I figured God was telling me to go back to sleep so I did.

We finally got electricity back around supper but the net, phones, and cable were more stubborn.

So, woo hoo....we've rejoined the 21st Century and I'm heading out to get a new CPAP machine. Back later.

Darlene, sorry to hear about your SIL's Mom. Prayers out to the family.

L4L, glad power is restored.

Good morning everybody.

Happy Tuesday to you.

Haroula I love birds. I have a African Grey. Had her around 17 years now.

Good morning Cailyn. Hope you're doing well today.

G'morning Karen. I look up the Ellensberg blues. They make nice looking jewelry with it.

Did you have to dig for it, or was it found laying on the ground?

Gerry did you drive through the Oklahoma Panhandle area, or did you come across on interstate 40 and drive through Amarillo? There are dozens of Lowe's in Oklahoma, but I'm way down South on the Ok/Tx border.

Midgie we've had the warmest Winter I can remember, and I think the other shoe is going to be a very long, very hot Summer.

Good morning Connie. I hope your hubby is feeling ok this morning and his ordeal is over soon. Hugs to you.

Good morning Gail. I didn't know we had so many bird people.

Darlene I'm so sorry to hear about your SIL's Mother. Prayers for the family. Hope you have a great day.

L4L we did miss you yesterday. It's not the same without you hear....or here LOL. Glad you got your power back. Have fun shopping.

I'm on my way out to enjoy this day before it gets cloudy and rainy later. This will probably be the last "nice weather day" that I have while I'm off.

Good morning Ana, Mag, and all the other Boomers.

Catch you guys later.

joe

Just a quick good morning folks. I need to get lunch started.

Started the day off at Wally World. Didn't get anything exciting though. Don't need to look for games. Got plenty. Got 7 at BF that I haven't even downloaded yet.

Be good y'all and have a great day.

Bets

Darlene prayers for the family.
Joe my parrots are 10 years old.

Good morning boomies!

Finished my workout and after I blow dry my hair I'll be off to the store before Peter needs his car. I will likely be working the rest of the day. My poor dogs are not happy with me right now.

Darlene,

be back

Happy Tuesday Everybody!! Monday is over!!

Joe you are having way too much fun on your vacation! Keep it up. Thanks for the laughs this morning.

Haroula has the temps warmed up any yet?? WE have 21 out there and the sun shinning brightly. Nice and warm cause the sun is closest to the earth this time of year so it radiates lots of heat. And it is melting the inch of snow we got yesterday.

Karen venus posted on the 15th that that was her one and only work day for the week, but maybe she found another job and has been really busy with that?? She was having problems with her arms and neck too from the computer. Hope and pray that all is well. Have a lovely day!

Cailyn and Gerry are ya glad the snow is melting away?? Have a lovely day!

Midge may work be fun and enjoy the time off when the first shift is over. Our winter here has been really strange too but I'm not complaining either. I could get use to winters like this.

Connie shopping, they say, is good therapy. For what I'm not sure though. Have a lovely day and prayers that hubby be mending up!

L4l wondered where you were yesterday. Glad that all is up and running for you now. Don't the company come to your place to take care of the CPAC?? They do that here. They even bring new tubing etc when they come. Have a lovely day!

Bets how was orchestra last night? Hope you have some nice music to learn. Have a fun day!

Darlene keeping your SIL and family in my thoughts and prayers. HUGS to all! May work fly and all be smooth.

Well got a mile in first thing this morning with Sassy and then went out for some breakfast and then shopping. Now I am home and think I shall do some gaming. Well........it is so nice out that I might take a nice long walk too. We shall see.


Nan

Nan,its warmer now, about 17c.(Celsius)

Ok, back. New CPAP in hand and a pillow that is supposed to work better for CPAP users. We shall see.

I talked to the vet and Lil Soot's tumor was indeed cancer. Seems very strange to me to have 2 dogs with cancer in 2 years, when I've had dogs my entire life and never had one with cancer. I shall have to investigate, but am not sure where to start. The vet is sure that the cancer had not spread, and that he got it all. He told us that some dogs have this and never have it again while others are repeat offenders so to speak. So, any sign of a knot on the wee one will have us screaming to the vet for a biopsy. Maybe they will finally name a wing after us...I've been telling them that they needed to for years.

We had several tornadoes yesterday. The golf course directly across the street from us lost 50 trees. Several houses/apartments were also destroyed. God surely had his hand on us yesterday.

Darlene, so sorry to hear of your Sil's loss.

Joe, enjoy your day off.

Nan, nope the CPAP folks don't come to us, but now that I have the new machine they will send supplies to the house. I have to take my memory card thingy in every month for the 1st 3 months so they can read it and be sure I am using it...but that is not a problem as I have used it every night since I got it.


I hope you get another walk in. I'm going to go walk around the neighborhood with one of the dogs. It's gorgeous out there. Then when I get back I'll cook some books since I'm not going to cook dinner tonight.

to everyone.

Hi everyone. Taking some time off from wandering around Skyrim to get my daily laughs from Joe's jokes.
Hope all are having a good day

Haroula glad it has warmed up for ya.!!

Aw L4l I guess it is starting to increase in our animals just like it is in people. I think the odds in people are like one in two or three, maybe. Not sure that I am liking those odds. Hopefully it will NOT reocure.

Funny how different companys and different areas do things differently. I am glad not to have to run back in all the time. They call and come on out.

Me and Sassy just back from a nice long mile and a half walk. The sun is shinning brightly but the wind has a little bite to it. All in all was a fun walk.

Manxman!! Hope you are having a good day!


Nan

Thank goodness you're OK, L4L! I was soooo worried about you all. I am sorry about the test results on Lil Soot, but am glad the vet thinks he got all of it. Could it have any link to their food?
I am getting that new CPAP machine with the memory card too and I won't be able to fudge anymore. Just going to have to learn to sleep on my back I guess. Thinking of getting an adjustible bed. Bad back makes life miserable for all of us.
Take care friend! will keep you all in my thoughts.
Andrea

Good afternoon Boomers.

Hi ya Manx

Nan, yea not sure why there is surge in cancer among animals but I am sure it probably has numerous causes.

Wind....eek. Stay warm.

Andrea, yep we are fine. Thanks. The news said today that the tornado that hit near us was an F1....Al had many tornadoes yesterday ranging from F0 to F3.

I sleep on my side every night with my CPAP. I use a nasal pillow type mask so I think that makes it easier. I can't sleep on my back. Hubby does though. I think he falls asleep while he is in mid lie down and then doesn't move the rest of the night.

Hi ya Quest

Kitchen is all cleaned up now and we will be heading out to Bible study in a bit.

Hey everybody.

We're getting pounded by rain storms right now, so it's gonna be touch & go with my internet connection for the rest of the night.

We have storms the size of Texas coming.

joe

Fire! My friend/tenant was here doing a puzzle and then just after he left, he called me. Said to turn on my computer and look at the security camera he installed on his house and which I have access to and can move it remotely from here. Sooo I ask why and he says the house just behind me has a bonfire going! This is in a NO burn area, ever, and I have a very dry palm tree about 10 feet from the fire.

I walk down (200 feet from me) and see a huge fire. It's about 6 feet across and the flames are going up at least that if not more. Wow. Some guy (probably a tenant) whose van is sitting about 3 feet from the fire with the back open, is in a chair just watching. Maybe he's making smores?

So I make my presence known but don't confront, since I have no idea who or what he is or if he's a friendly.

Come back home, look at the monitor and see 2 guys now and the first one with a 5 gallon bucket of water pouring it on the flames. Other guy walked back towards the street so I'm assuming he lives next door and saw the flames and 'informed' the guy about no fires. 3 buckets of water and some dirt shoveled on top and it's still smoldering. No guy for about 10 minutes but he's back now just sitting. More smores?

In any case, it will be a restless night with me checking frequently to see if the fire rekindles (since it's definitely NOT out) and making sure it doesn't send any embers to catch my palm tree.

How dumb are people anyway? Don't answer that, I think I know. Probably the same guy who shot off the gun on New Year's Eve. Would make sense. Glad I wasn't the one who had to interfere with his fire building adventure.

Night all sleep well and pleasant dreams!


Nan