Although prepared for martyrdom, I preferred that it be postponed.
Winston Churchill
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

70 year old George went for his annual physical. All of his tests came back with great results.

Dr. Smith said, "George everything looks great physically. How are you doing mentally, emotionally and are you at peace with your self and have a good relationship with God?"

George replied, "God and me are tight. We are so close that when I get up in the middle of the night, poof!...the light goes on & I go to the bathroom and then poof! the light goes off!"

"Wow," commented Dr. Smith, 'That's incredible!"

A little later in the day Dr. Smith called George's wife. 'Thelma," he said, "George is just fine. Physically he's great. But I had to call because I'm in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and poof! The light goes on in the bathroom and then poof! the light goes off?'"

Thelma replied, "Darn fool! He's peeing in the fridge again!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


A new pastor moved into town and went out one Saturday to visit his parishioners.

All went well until he came to one house. It was obvious that someone was home, but no one came to the door even after he had knocked several times.

Finally, he took out his card and wrote on the back: Revelation 3:20 and stuck it in the door.

The next day, as he was counting the offering he found his card in the collection plate. Below his message was the notation Genesis 3:10.

Revelation 3:20 reads: "Behold I stand at the door and knock. If any man hear my voice, and opens the door, I will come in to him, and will dine with him, and he with me."

Genesis 3:10 reads: "And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep.

Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it.

He told them to go away and let him get some sleep but they persisted until finally he gave in.

"OK, follow me" he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him.

Down through the valley they went, across a river and into a forest full of trees.

Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around him.

"Now, do you see that tree over there?" he asked.

"Yes, Yes, Yes!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy.

"Good" said the bat, "Because I sure as hell didn't!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once upon a time, there was a river. The Nile River, to be exact. On one side of the river lived the rabbit, and on the other side lived the bear.

One fine day, the bear was sitting on a stump, enjoying his breakfest of berries. Then he heard someone yelling at him. It was the rabbit.

"Hey! Hey, Teddy, get your butt over here. I've got something to show you!"

"Not now! I'm eating."

"Oh come on!" said the rabbit. "It's really important."

"No way."

"Please. It's urgent."

So the bear decided to go all the way over the wide river. It took him all day and all night to get over to the other side. He nearly drowned. And when he finally got there he was groaning and panting, and wheezing for air.

"Well, rabbit," he panted. "What did you want to tell me?"

"Hey, Teddy," the rabbit began, "look how many berries are on the other side of the river."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Wolf Man comes home one day from a long day at the office. "How was work, dear?" his wife asks.

"Listen! I don't want to talk about work!" he shouts.

"Okay. Would you like to sit down and eat a nice home cooked meal?" she asks nicely.

"Listen!" he shouts again. "I'm not hungry! I don't wanna eat! All right! Is that all right with you? Can I come home from work and just do my own thing without you forcing food down my throat? Huh?"

At this moment, the wolf man started growling, and throwing things around the apartment in a mad rage.

Looking out the window, his wife sees a full moon and says to herself, "Great, it's that time of the month again."
~~~~~~~~~~~``

A man walks into a very posh Rodeo Drive furrier with a gorgeous blonde on his arm.

"Show the lady your finest mink!" the fellow exclaims. So the owner of the
shop goes in the back and comes out with an absolutely gorgeous full-length coat.

As the lady tries it on, the furrier sidles up to the guy and discreetly
whispers,

"Ah, sir, that particular fur goes for
$65,000."

"No problem! I'll write you a check!"

"Very good, sir." says the shop owner.

"Today is Saturday. You may come by on Monday to pick it up, after the check has cleared."

So the man and the woman leave. On Monday, the fellow returns. The store owner is outraged: "How dare you
show your face in here?! There wasn't a single penny in your checking account!!"

"I just had to come by," grinned the guy, "to thank you for the most wonderful weekend of my life!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The racehorse owner was annoyed with the running of his horse at the race.

He turned on the jockey.

"Flaherty, could you not have raced faster?"

"Sure I could have, but you know we are supposed to stay on the horse."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good Booming morning everyone!

I think I died Monday so this must be Tombsday.

It's also Friday for me, WOOT!

What does woot mean anyway? Why Only One Taco?

I could understand that, because I have to have at least two tacos, and a burrito when I eat at Taco Bell. I couldn't understand anyone eating only one taco.

So whenever you see me use you know I'm wondering "Why only one?"

Man! I'd like to have one of those tacos now come to think of it.

I mean two of course.....

Anybody else want a taco? I'm gonna make a run to TB.

Happy Tuesday everyboomie.

joe

Good morning boomies
We have a appointment with the paediatric
for a vaccine,and you know what that
means
I hope you have a wonderful day

Good morning Joe,Haroula,and all who enter later Coffee in the corner,hope you all have a joyful day

Good morning Joe. No Taco for me thanks. I love love love your kind of humor. If I wouldn’t be married already, I’d take you anytime!
Happy Friday to you.

Good morning Haroula. All the best for the pediatric appt.

Good morning Caylin and thanks for the coffee. Happy day for you too.

Evelyne

Good Morning Joe, Haroula, Cailyn and Gimli. Joe Happy Friday to you! Haroula good luck at doc appt. Cailyn how are you feeling? Hope all is well with you. Gimli enjoy your day. A peaceful Tuesday wished for all!

Good morning everyone. Welcome back to the Diner Evelyn. Hubby is feeling better. The first week after Chemo is the worst. He stays tired and his mind is foggy. He is much better this week. To all here and all who follow, have a Great Tuesday. Cinnamon coffee cake and Danish in the NC.

Good Morning Boomers

Joe, tacos sound good for lunch today.

Haroula, ouch!

Cailyn, thanks for the coffee.

Evelyne, good morning and good day!

Gerry, have a good day!

Connie, glad hubby is starting to feel a little better than last week. Thanks for the Danish.

Wishing a great day to all who enter. Slowly dragging myself over to the corner for awhile with my Danish and coffee.

Hello Gerry!

Connie, you are going through a rough time sweetie. Prayers heading your and hubbys way.
I’ll take Cinnamon coffee… without the cake. Thanks

Happy day to you too Gail.

Temps dropped even more today. Shiver shiver…

Terrific Tuesday Ya'll

I'm up early (for me) as I have a PT appointment in a bit. I often don't hear alarms when I'm sleeping well, so hubby rolled me out before he left. Body is up...brain is struggling.

Joe, Woot stands for We Only Own Today, or perhaps Whacky Orange Organic Ties

Haroula, hope the shot didn't hurt and everyone is all smiles now.

Cailyn, I see you were up either very late or very very early. How are you?

Evelyne, do you have good things planned?

Gerry, I think Taz has had too much caffiene.

Connie, so glad to hear hubby is feeling a bit better. You be sure and take care of yourself please.

Gail, I'll join you in the corner.

Good morning Haroula, Cailyn, Evie, Gerry, Connie Gail, L4L, and everybody.

How is everyone this morning?

It's cloudy and cold here this morning, so I probably won't pursue my latest obsession before going to work.

The forcast is for more of the same, so it doesn't look good for my two days off either.

Haroula I after shots too.

Cailyn have a great day.

You're married Evie???

Thank you! "gush"

Gerry how is your weather?

Connie I'm glad your hubby is feeling better this week.

Gail you're having two tacos for lunch right?

L4L we only own today sounds good. I thought it might be "we're out of toiletpaper".

joe

Good morning looney, hope all goes well at the Docs! Fingers crossed! I did a very complicated ceramic piece this morning in my studio. Hubby had to lend me his two arms, 10 fingers and 1 foot (no, no, he has 2 feet but I needed only the one...). This evening I'll go to my neighbour to fill her kiln with my finished pieces. I'd love to have a kiln of my own...

Hugs to you and Soot

Evelyne

Awww Joe was sneaking in while I clicked submit. Good morning Joe

Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!

Oh Happy Day it is Tuesday!!! AND Taco Tuesday at that!

Joe thanks for tha laughs this morning. Sorry the weather is not being nice so you may pursue your new passion. Have a nice day!

Haroula best of luck with the shots. HUGS! Hope it warms up there for ya. Have a lovely day!

Cailyn and Gerry have a nice day!

Evelyne maybe one day you too will have your own kiln........when you are all famous for your works!! Have a lovely day!

Connie glad hubby is better. HUGS! Roomies sister is starting hers now. They say she looks ood but tires really easy. She went wig shopping the day! Have a lovely day and thanks for the danish!

Gail what ya have planned for today? have a lovely day!

L4l good luck at PT!! Hope they can help and make that leg and back better. HUGS!

Darlene may work fly and all go smoothly! Have a nice day.

Off to take roomie to a doc appointment and then run a few errands.


Nan

Good morning Diners! It's snowing out there but only enough to make things white. My Tabata strength class was brutal this morning and I will definitely need to get out and hike with the dogs to stretch things out. THe rest of day will be working on my project.

Joe, when we do TBell at my house everyone eats at leat 6 tacos if they are the regular ones. Too bad there is only about a tablespoon of real meat in there.

Haroula, hope the shot went well and your little one is a happy camper now.

Sue, you are getting up way too early again!

Gerry, have a great day!

Connie, I am so glad hubby is doing better with this round. How many more to go?

Gail, hope it's a gaming day for you.

Evelyn, your ceramics are so beautiful. I think you need to build a kiln in your house so you do not have to transport your delicate pieces.
You will have to wait in line for Joe, I was first.

L4L, what are you going to PT for?

Darlene, safe skooshing!

Nan, safe travels out there. I hope you find time for yourself today.

Ana

Evie now I'm picturing you and your hubbie sitting and forming a clay pot as it spins around with the Righteous Brothers singing in the background. That ought to generate some heat.

Darlene I hope your day is a super one.

Good morning Nan. Enjoy your Taco Tuesday.

Ana we've only had one morning of snow that melted off right away, all Winter.

Enjoy your workout. We'll go have a half dozen or so tacos later ok?

joe (joe sneaking around)

Joe, awwwww I didn’t know my marriage is so hard for you to accept. If only I knew you 31 years earlier. Then YOU would be spinning the pottery wheel with me…. You are the cyber love of my life!

Darlene: happy day

Nan: Thank you for believing in me sweetie. Take care on the road. I hope you and roomie are returning home safe. It’s cold outside!

Ana: you know, a kiln would cost me approx. 10’000 bucks. I can afford such a huge sum only when (IF) I’am famous one day (see above). >Whisper< – does Joe knows we are standing in line?? Are you working out to keep first in line? Well, I have to make an appointment in a fitness studio myself then. Did you say you take boxing classes? Ouch

Ok, off to neighbor and her expensive kiln. She always has a lot to tell me, so don’t expect me back till Easter…

Evelyne

We had a little drama
with the shot,but after a while
he forget it
(with the help of chocolate)
We had warm and sunny weather but today
its raining again

Good Afternoon Boomers. Glad the shot went as well as it did Haroula. I want to see some of your work Evelyne, as it sounds wonderful! Those tacos sound pretty good, Nan, are you sharing with Joe? Ana, are you vying for workout champion? Ceiling project nearing completion, yay!!! Here's to a great day for everyone and Happy Gaming!

Joe, believe it or not I'm closer to being a vegetarian these days. I never thought I'd see the day. How's it feel to have all these ladies in line for you.

Evelyne, not if...when! You are so very talented there is no chance you will not succeed. I do kickboxing classes, but I am so sore from lifting weights and taking my daily classes I don't have the strength to use it on anyone.

Haroula, the miracle cure of chocolate.

Lotus, I started seriously training at Thanksgiving. It's amazing the results when you have a set routine. I haven't looked this good in years.
I am glad the project is almost done for you. What is hubby going to do after he is done?

Ana

Haroula, I'm glad the drama is over. Chocolate cures almost everything.

Hi ya Lotus

Ana, how does one do low-carb and veggitarian?

I am doing PT for my leg pain, but the PT thinks the pain is coming from my back so I'm trying to get in touch with my doc so she can ammend the referral because they cannot treat anything not on the referral.

The doggies and I did our 2 hilly miles today. It's a beautiful day out there. Then home for lunch and laundry and now I'm going to put a heating pad on my back and read for a minute.

L4L, after 4 years of lo carb and being stuck at the same weight up and down I competely revamped my diet and eating 3/4 of my calories come from lo glycemic veggies, a special concoction smoothie for breakfast, a slow carb with dinner (sweet potatoes, quinoa, brown rice) and 3 ounces meat/fish for lunch with a fruit and 3 oz meat/fish for dinner. I eat veggies all day raw as many as I want. I have lost 27 pounds in the last 90 days and feel awesome. It is a much healthier diet than I have ever been on and feeling fabulous! It's really easy to do also. Combine that with my new workout routine, I'll be able to wear a bikini by summer even though I won't.

I hope they can figure out your pain and you can get the help you need.

Good afternoon Boomers.

Night Haroula! Sleep well and pleasant dreams. Glad the chocolate made the shot thought go away!!

Ana that is just great what you have done and turned things around. Awsome!!

L4l hope you can get a hold of the doc quickly so things can get feeling better soonest.

Lotus glad hubby is close to finishing up the ceiling project! Then he can move on to the next one.

Evelyne I have seen your pots and creations and YES I DO believe in you!!! You can do it. At least your neighbor is kind to let you use hers and you get some visiting in at the same time!

I want to know if I can have overs for today?????? Please!!!! Took roomie to her appointment and went next door to the hospital to pick up my glasses and make a payment. Well on the way out I changed where I was walking so this lady in her car didn't have to stop. Well wouldn't you know......I miss steped and my ankle twisted and down I went.

I laid there on the ground crying for about 5 minutes and do you think anybody would stop and see if I needed any help??? NO!!!!! Finally I was able to sit up and then I wondered if I could get up let alone walk. I did make it to the car and back to pick up roomie. Now I can hardly walk so will ice it and see how that works. What a day.


Nan

Nan Hugs and prayers the pain lessens quickly.

Afternoon; sorry, looks like it will be an on again off again with the internet. The service has been getting overloaded so they've been trying to update every thing.

Wish a great day/evening to everyone.

Aww Nan, I am so sorry. I would have stopped to help you. I hope that ice is all it needs to heal. Hugs to you.

SpaceQ, did you have a good day?

Haroula, sweet dreams.

Trippy, Is the weather effecting your internet? I hope it gets straighted out soon. Hugs!

Ana

Hi guys. Sorry I haven't been around the diner today. My family has had some very upsetting news this week. Please keep my sister in your prayers.

Midge

Midgie

Absolutely Midge!! HUGS!!!

Trippy I hope they hurry and get things all updated for ya so the net isn't so wishy washy!

Ana I'm sure you would have. Not too bad right now but then I have been staying off it as much as possible but, Sassy does have to go out , just not too far.

Well I am heading for the bed. Night everybody sleep well and pleasant dreams.


Nan