Whenever cannibals are on the brink of starvation, Heaven, in its infinite mercy, sends them a fat missionary.
I do not enjoy computer jokes. Not one bit .
I changed my i Pod name to Titanic. It's syncing now
When chemists die, they barium ..
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst .
A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran ..
I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time .
How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it ..
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me .
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore .
A guy got arrested playing the guitar for fingering A minor .
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down .
I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words .
They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type- O.
A dyslexic man walks into a bra..
PMS jokes aren't funny, period.
Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations .
Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz .
Energizer bunny arrested -- charged with battery .
I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me .
How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it !
Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils ?
When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble .
What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!
Broken pencils are pointless ..
I tried to catch some fog. I mist.
What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary?
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest .
I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx .
All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. Police have nothing to go on.
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.
Velcro - what a rip off !
Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.
Venison for dinner? Oh deer !
Earthquake in Washington D.C. obviously government's fault.
I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure .
Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too .
Good morning everyboomie.
My thanks to Winfrey for the punny puns.
I am off today, but I hope that by the time the days is done I'll be back on...my head hunting game.
My friend and I are going to another spot to hunt, and we're hoping very much that it will be happy hunting grounds.
I'll be leaving at around 8:30 so I'd better get some shuteye soon.
It was a very long work day.....
..yesterday.....and tiring too.
I wonder if I wear moccasins I'll find more arrowheads.
I wonder if I wear moccasins I'll find more water moccasins.
I wonder if any cowboy ever shot by an arrow thought "ALRIGHT! Another arrowhead for my collection."
Have a happy day everybody.