My wife and I tried to breakfast together, but we had to stop or our marriage would have been wrecked.
Winston Churchill
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"A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedence, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down."
Robert Charles Benchley
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On reaching his plane seat a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped in next to him. He asks the stewardess for a coffee where upon the parrot squawks "And get me a whisky you cow!" The stewardess, flustered, brings back a whisky for the parrot and forgets the coffee.
When this omission is pointed out to her the parrot drains its glass and bawls "And get me another whisky you idiot". Quite upset, the girl comes back shaking with another whisky but still no coffee.
Unaccustomed to such slackness the man tries the parrot's approach "I've asked you twice for a coffee, go and get it now or I'll kick you".
The next moment, both he and the parrot have been wrenched up and thrown out of the emergency exit by two burly stewards. Plunging downwards the parrot turns to him and says "For someone who can't fly, you complain too much!"
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At the airport for a business trip, I settled down to wait for the boarding announcement at Gate 35. Then I heard the voice on the public address system saying, "We apologize for the inconvenience, but Delta Flight 570 will board from Gate 41."
So my family picked up our luggage and carried it over to Gate 41. Not ten minutes later the public address voice told us that Flight 570 would in fact be boarding from Gate 35.
So, again, we gathered our carry-on luggage and returned to the original gate. Just as we were settling down, the public address voice spoke again: "Thank you for participating in Delta's physical fitness program.
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RULES OF THE AIRWAYS
Takeoff's are optional. Landings are mandatory.
Flying is not dangerous; crashing is dangerous.
Speed is life, altitude is life insurance. No one has ever collided with the sky.
The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.
Flying is the second greatest thrill known to man. Landing is the first!
Everyone knows a 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. But a 'great landing is one after which you can use the airplane again.
The probability of survival is equal to the angle of arrival.
Was that a landing or were we shot down?
Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself.
Trust your captain.... but keep your seat belt securely fastened.
Be nice to your first officer, he may be your captain at your next airline.
Any attempt to stretch fuel is guaranteed to increase headwind.
A pilot is a confused soul who talks about women when he's flying, and about flying when he's with a woman.
Try to keep the number of your landings equal to the number of your takeoffs.
There are old pilots, and there are bold pilots, but there are no old, bold, pilots!
Gravity never loses! The best you can hope for is a draw!
Gravity SUCKS!!
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At a recent software engineering management course in the US, the participants were given an awkward question to answer. "If you had just boarded an airliner and discovered that your team of programmers had been responsible for the flight control software how many of you would disembark immediately?"
Among the ensuing forest of raised hands, only one man sat motionless. When asked what he would do, he replied that he would be quite content to stay onboard.
With his team's software, he said, the plane was unlikely to even taxi as far as the runway, let alone take off.
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Goooood morning BOOMERLAND!!!
Now that you're all awake, feel free to talk amongst yourselves.
If you have an awesome day of gaming planned, I'm sure everyone would like to hear about it.
I'm only kidding.
No one wants to hear about it.
Did I say that outloud?
Hey it's FRIDAY!!!
That's about the best I can say about it. I'm back to work at 11:00 today, or thereabout.
It's my short day though and I'm over on hours again this week, so I could be getting off as early as 5 or 6.
That'll leave me time to come home and get ready to go back at 6:00 Saturday.
WooHoo! I can't wait.
Have a fairly happy day everyone.
I mean a very happy day.
joe
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to those coming to the diner today.
. I hope you all have a great day.
Have to lock the kitties up, though, since the exterminators are coming over. At least they won't have to be in here too long.
It wouldn't start after he went to the pizza place yesterday to pick up our pizza, and he had to have it towed. Always something. 
...and took the 4 legged one to the park. We walked around in circles for 3 miles while the doggies ran around fetching and swimming and just being joyful. The are so delightful to watch. Somehow Lil Soot managed to get 2 tennis balls in his mouth. Sky does it all the time but Lil Soot's mouth is pretty small...I was amazed. 
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