Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
Groucho Marx
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Mr. Singh from India who was touring the United States, decided to take a cruise. He found himself seated in front of a Frenchman in the ship's dining room. Mr. Singh could speak neither French nor English, and the French guy had no knowledge of Hindi or Punjabi languages.
The Frenchman bowed and said, "Bon appétit!"
Mr. Singh was confused, but he bowed back and replied "Singh."
For the next couple of days, the same routine followed at every meal.
One day, a fellow passenger took Mr. Singh aside and said to him, "Listen, the Frenchman is not telling you his name. When he says 'Bon appétit!', it simply means 'Good Appetite'."
During the next meal, a confident Mr. Singh, bowed to the Frenchman and said, "Bon appétit!".
And the Frenchman, smiling back, replied: "Singh!"
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An economist had finished his day at work and was leaving for home, when he noticed a small boy call out to him from the footpath where he was sitting with a dog. The boy said, "Sir, would you like to buy a dog."
The economist was surprised by the approach, but asked nevertheless, "How much are you selling the dog for?"
The boy replied "Twenty thousand dollars."
"Twenty thousand dollars for this dog!" the economist exclaimed. "Does he know any special tricks to make him worth so much money?"
The boy replied, "Sir, this dog never made a dime in his life. If you take into consideration the expenses on his food, I think you will lose money on him every year."
The economist did not want to let go the opportunity to lecture the boy about the principles of economics and explained to him the fact that a commodity needed to yield more returns than it consumed to equal a purchase price. He finished by saying that the five dollars could be the maximum sum that should be expected for the dog, that too from somebody who just wanted a companion. Feeling satisfied with the knowledge that he had imparted to the young boy, the economist went away.
A few days later, the economist again noticed the small boy was again sitting on the footpath but this time there was no dog in sight. He asked the boy, "Did you get the five dollars for your dog?"
The boy said, "No, I got twenty thousand dollars for him."
The business man was stunned. "How on earth did you get twenty thousand dollars for that dog?" he asked.
"It was a piece of cake," replied the boy. "I traded him for two ten thousand dollar cats."
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Do you know Psychology is actually Biology.
Do you know Biology is actually Chemistry.
Do you know Chemistry is actually Physics.
Do you know Physics is actually Math.
If you understand it and able to prove it, then publish it in a periodical/magazine of Mathematics.
If you understand it, but unable to prove it, then publish in a periodical/magazine of Physics.
If you cannot understand it, but are able to prove it, then publish it in a periodical/magazine of Economics.
If you can neither understand it nor are able to prove it, then publish it in a periodical/magazine of Psychology.
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Youth is when you smoke, drink, and are naughty all through the night, and the next morning you still look like you haven't been doing any of that.
Middle age is when you smoke, drink, and are naughty all through the night, and on the next morning, you look like you have been smoking, drinking and have been naughty all through the night.
Old age is when at night you neither smoke nor drink, nor are naughty, yet on the next morning you look like you have been smoking, drinking and have been naughty all through the night.
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There was a bank robbery and the Chief of Police ordered the sergeant to cover all exit points so that none of the robbers could get away.
When the Sergent reported to the Chief that all the robbers had escaped, the Chief went mad with anger & shouted, "Didn't I tell you to cover all the exit points??"
"I did," defended the sergeant, "but they managed to escape through the entrance."
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Bob and Robbie were riding their snow bikes across the lake. All of a sudden Bob broke through the ice and sank with his bike.
Robbie went to the edge of the ice hole and saw Bob desperately pulling the starting rope.
Robbie shouted: “Hey Bob, open the choke and then pull.
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The shy, young man is thinking about asking his girl to marry him, but he doesn't know how to say it, so he asks his father, "Dad, what did you say to mum so she married you?"
"I only said 'OH NO!!!' and then we got married the next day."
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Good morning everyboomie.
Just last night I was wondering to myself, " Self, I wonder if tomorrow morning will be good," and sure enough it is.
It's almost as if I willed it that way.
Then again, I can't really remember any bad mornings.
Then again, my memory isn't that good....if I remember correctly.
Then AGAIN, it's pretty much my opinion that the only bad morning is one in which I don't wake up at all, and I don't remember any of those recently.
I don't know though. Nowadays I just can't rely on my aged memory.
Heck, I may not have even woke up this morning.
If I'm sleeping please don't wake me, ok?
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
acebook
witter
Gerry glad your back in the Diner my friend 
Good Morning Joe, Karen and Cailyn. Joe keep those happy thoughts coming! Karen that's great news about Mojo. Cailyn coffee sounds good. Enjoy your day at your Aunts. I'm sure she appreciates how much you do for her. Have a wonderful day all! 
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