A slip of the foot you may soon recover, but a slip of the tongue you may never get over.
Benjamin Franklin
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


The teacher is droning away in the classroom when he notices a student sleeping way up in the back row. The teacher shouts to the sleeping student's neighbor, "Hey wake that student up!"

The neighbor yells back, "You put him to sleep, you wake him up!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Room Service? Can you send up a towel?"

"Please wait, someone else is using it."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Dalai Lama goes to a vendor selling hamburgers and says, "I want one with everything."

The vendor gives him one and says, "Four bucks."

The Dalai Lama hands him a $5 bill, and waits for the vendor to give him the change but the vendor seems to be ignoring him.

The Dalai Lama finally asks, "Where's my change?"

The burger vendor replies, "Change only comes from within."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A well-endowed adolescent girl has severe cold and goes to see a doctor for examination.

The doctor who was standing behind the girl, leaned over her shoulder with a stethoscope to his ears and said, "Big breaths".

The young girl, hesitated for a moment, and then replied, "I know, and to think I'm only 13!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

James, an anthropologist decides to study the natives of a distant tropical island. He goes there, finds a guide with a canoe to take him up the river to the remote location where he would make his collections. The river takes them downstream, and in the eve of the of the second day, they hear the distant sound of drums. Being the nervous types, James is disturbed by the sound of the drums and asks the guide, "What are those drums?"

The guide replies, "Drums OK, but VERY BAD when they stop."

Then, after a few hours, the drums suddenly stop! James is nervous as hell and he shouts at the guide: "Those Drums have stopped, what now?"

The guide bends down, covers his head with his hands and says, "Bass Solo".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Tina asks Bill, "Will you love me when I'm old and graying?"

Bill replies, "Just love you? I shall admire you. I shall worship the very ground that you walk on. I shall...", then asks hesitantly, "you're not going to look like your mother, are you?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You Might Be an E.R. Doctor if...

* your favorite hallucinogen is exhaustion.
* discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal seems perfectly normal to you.
* you think that caffeine should be available in IV form.
* you get an almost irresistible urge to stand and wolf your food even in the nicest restaurants.
* you believe the waiting room should be equipped with a Valium fountain.
* you say to yourself "great veins" when looking at complete strangers.
* you believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says, "Boy it is quiet around here."
* you have ever referred to someone's death as a transfer to the "Eternal Care Unit".
* you have ever had a patient say, "But I'm not pregnant, I can't be pregnant. How can I be having a baby?"
* you have ever had a patient look you straight in the eye and say "I have no idea how that got stuck in there".
* your most common assessment question is "what changed tonight to make it an emergency after 6 (hours, days, weeks, months, years)?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My five-year-old boy, Neel, loves to sit on his grandfather's lap and listen to stories read out to him. One day, after his grandfather had told him the story about Noah's ark, and how Noah led pairs of different animals to the safety of the ark, Neel asked, "Grandpa, you are so old, I am sure you were also in Noah's ark, were you?"

His grandfather replied, "No, my dear".

Neel asked, "In that case, how is it that you survived the flood?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So what will your career be - check some definitions.

Who is an accountant?
A person who knows the cost of everything and the value of nothing.

Who is an actuary?
A person who brings a fake bomb on a plane, because that decreases the chances that there will be another bomb on the plane.

Who is an archaeologist?
A person whose career lies in ruins.

Who is an architect?
A person who makes beautiful models, but unaffordable realities.

Who is an architect?
A person who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie.

Another day another....you know......24 hours.

My day starts at 5:00am so I think it's gonna be about 27 hours.

At any rate, the time is 8:00, and I have a date, and I can't be late, or it WILL be late.

Have a happy day everyone.

joe

Joe you crack me up. Thanks. I'm on my way to bed. See you on the flip side.

M<idgie

Good morning boomies! We had a fantastic time yesterday at the Warrior Dash and I am proud to say we both earned our warrior medals by not skipping a single obstacle. We finished 3.2 miles in 48 minutes and that included the 14 obstacles. For a limited time I will place the link here for those that wanted to see pictures. I ran with my niece so that is who is in the pictures with me.

Warrior Dash

Joe, hope that you have the energy to go down to the creek after work.

Midgie, have a great day!

Have a happy day everyone. I'll be in the corner catching up on my project after I run the dogs.

Ana

Joe.

to everybody!

Great pictures, Ana. Thanks.

Midge.

Thanks MaG! Have a happy day.

Good morning boomers
Ana congrats you look in perfect shape

Well,after 2,5years its time to go
back to work
Part time for now
Have all a lovely day

Moaning Joe..grin..I hope our days don't drag on or get too long

Ana..wow, whoa, way to go..that's incredible, you can certainly send out your "TAG" for exercise yesterday..nice pics too!

Haroula..I hope your part time job is fun..good luck and keep smiling

Hey there MaG and Midgie..sleep well

It's the wee hours of the morning and I am still going strong..oh my. My body clock is so out of whack from my stay at (and trip back) from Australia that I finally gave up and got out of bed to do some work as I can't sleep. Tonight should be good as I will be exhausted again, but when I hit the sack it should be lights out rather than laying there thinking...

Good morning gang when you are up and at em for Monday Moaning!

Whoosh...

L4L

Good Morning Joe, Ana, MaG, Haroula and soot. Joe keep smiling! Ana great pictures! Congrats on getting your medal! MaG nice to see you in the Diner. Haroula good luck today! Soot see you in the "Garden"! Happy day wished for all!

Good morning. Ana I'm so proud of you. Thanks for the pictures. You really know how to have fun. Hi MaG , morning Haroula, hi Soot, welcome home, Hi Gerry. Time to get going. Have a great day all. See you after work.

Midgie

Hello and goodbye.

Good Morning Boomers

Joe, thanks for the laughs.

Ana, Congrats! Great pics. Looks like you had a fun time.

MaG, good morning!

Haroula, hope you enjoy getting back into the work routine.

Soot, welcome back. Hope your body gets back into our time zone.

Gerry, have a great day!

Midge, wishing you an easy day!

Girl's last day of school today. Nothing on the agenda for me. Coffee is brewing.

Morning Venus....you're fast this morning.

Wow Joe that is just too early to have to be up. May work time fly and all go well. Thanks for the chuckles.

Midge may work fly and be fun. Have a nice day!

Ana congrats on the medal to both of you!! Thanks for sharing the pics. Looks like a fun time. Have a lovely day! Oh.......how did the knee fair????

Haroula good luck with the job. Hope it is something fun and you enjoy! Have a lovely day!

Howdy MaG!

Soot hope you can get that body clock set to the proper time zone soonest!! Have a lovely day!

Gerry have a lovely day!

Gail a Monday seems like a funny day of the week to be the last day. Ours ended on the 8th I think and today summer school starts. I am not sure if granddaughter finished her project or not yet. If not she will be going to summer school! Have a lovely day!

venus may work fly and all go well.


Nan

Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Happy Mourning and Moaning Monday Morning to you, too! (Say that 3 times, really fast! )

Ana, you're a beast! Amazing!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies! Have a great Monday!

Today my granddaughter turns five! baby girl!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!

Magnificent Monday ya'll

The great slippage has begun. Boys were supposed to be with their mom by now, but nope...the time has slipped. I'm betting it will slip again and again today. However, I have an appointment at the Dentist this afternoon so it can't slip too many more times.

Went down to the den to find son's friend sleeping on the couch so came back up to the bedroom. I think I need more coffee to deal with my day.

Good morning boomies. Another beautiful day here and getting ready to run/swim the dogs so they will let me work.

Thank you all for your kind comments on my race. I can't wait to do it again next year.

Haroula, have you found a new job yet? Good luck on your new endeavors.

soot, I hope you can get your body adjusted tonight. I can imagine how hard it must be.

Gerry, have a great day!

Midgie, I hope work goes well.

Venus, hope work time flies by.

Gail, are you looking forward to the girls being off?

Nan, my bandaid held up through the worst of the obstacles which was amazing but it fell off going over the cargo nets in the pictures. Then I had to go through the muddy water under the barbed wire. THe good part was the three inches of rain they had overnight which made that more into a muddy pool. It started bleeding an hour after the race and throbbing but this morning it is no worse for wear.
My niece scraped her knee in one of the crawling obstacles and her pants almost fell off in another but other than that we were unscathed.
What's on your agenda for the day?

Darlene, to your grand daughter! Time flies.

L4L, good luck at the dentist and hope the kids get picked up in time.

Ana

Good day to all of you !

Ana: I knew you'll do it. Congratulations on the warrior medal . I saw the pictures you posted. Awwwww I'am sure you and Steph had a lot of fun. I was looking/searching for you in the mud but... to no avail. And look at that waistline of yours. I'am sooooo jealous...

Haroula: all the best for the new job

Darlene: Happy Birthday to your granddaughter

Soot: welcome home and L4L happy dentist appt (just kidding about the happy....)

I'am wishing every Diner guest before and after my visit a very happy and sunshiny day.

Don't forget to smile!

Evelyne

Welcome back to civilization, Soot. Hope you brought a pet Roo back.

Ana! Awesome accomplishment. Great pictures. Wow.

So at 9 pm last night, I was watching Desperate Housewives season 8 and a car pulls into the house we are watching that has been burgled twice. My tenant/friend and I watched from the porch, didn't recognize the car, saw 3 people attempting to get into the chained fence gate and I finally put on my shoes and dragged him over there with me. Turned out to be the guy who is the 'caretaker' and he was in his girlfriend's car. Whew. Had a great 45 minute chat with her and her friend. They are good friends with the owner (in permanent care) and she is a care nurse. So they have permission to clean out the house so he can come home (if he gets 24/7 care by someone). Dunno if they will do that, but Adult Protective Services might let him back if they just clean out the 3 rooms he had been living in (kit,tiny 1/2 bath, living room) and just leave the rest boarded up as they are. Shouldn't take more than one day to do that (and some heavy gloves and masks..hehe). I'll be watching.

AND while we were there, we discovered that someone had AGAIN tried to get in by prying loose some of the security bars on the windows. Had loosened at least 4 of them including the one that the back door chain was through (they took my advice!). At least they didn't get in this time. They also had removed most of the 'barriers' from the front porch area to try that door. Weird. No one sees, or hears anything, so it's late night,early morning when it happens. I'd love to camp out there, but it's way too much for me to handle. The caretaker guy and his girlfriend could do that and at least SEE who the intruder(s) are. Such a mess this is. Constant attempts. We think they might be looking for $$$$$ in there as the guy always bragged about winning over 100k at the casino (he really did) and they might think he stashed it in the house. It's a probability since they take nothing each time even though things are there that are worth taking.

Gonna keep watching, but now back to my regularly scheduled Desperate Housewives marathon. I figure about 2-3 days and it will all be done. I'm hoping they wrap up the show in a good way or I'll be very very upset.

Anybody know where Bestsmilleys went???? My link I had can't find them anymore.

Darlene to your granddaughter!!! The fun years, make the most of it. May work fly and all go smoothly!!

Ana at least it held together for most of the race. Glad it is non the worse. Have a fun run with the dogs. Hope that crazy lady don't know about the new place. May the project move right along.

Wow Sorta ya need to put up a camera somewhere close and see if ya can't catch them in the act.

Evelyne hope this day has found you feeling well and the head A-OK!! Have a lovely day!!

L4l good luck at the dentist!! I am done for a year, I think. Hopefully exdil will be by soonest to pick up the boys. Have a nice relaxing afternoon after the dentist.

No plans have been made. Me and Sassy got a long walk in this morning and good thing as it is rain for the afternoon. Sounds like gaming weather!


Nan

Darlene, to your grand daughter
The first day is always difficult
New job,new people
Need some time to adjust

See you later

Congratulations, Ana, our athlete!! In 1986 I did the Tulsa Run -9.3 miles I believe- . A lady
from Bartlesville, OK teamed up with me and it behooved both of us. She slowed me down, good because I tend to keep going faster and faster then konk out and I kept her going because she always died at 6 miles. And we both finished with the stragglers but we did it. Friends and family got perfectly pllastered while waiting for us but so what. I drove home.

Hey boomers -keep the bod in shape, it helps when your're 80.

Back no hurtey anymore good but left knee does due to an old skiing accident. But that heals up.

Still playing The Hobbit and enjoying it but when I get mad at him I call him a little rat. On the PS i'm doing Rage and Crysis2 again. Rage is a pretty good game by Bethesda.

Happy Monday all

Good afternoon everyone. Darlene, to your Granddaughter. Ana, Congrats on the medal, loved the pics. Congrats to your niece too. We went looking at above ground pools today. We found one we liked at Costco, but Robert will need to get it with his truck. It uses Salt to make chlorine. To all here and all who follow, have a Super Monday. I have a Mammogram tomorrow morning. Cheesecake with Strawberries and Whipped Cream in the NC.

Hello everybody.

Good to be home it is.

I was supposed to be off at 1:00. That didn't happen.

I'll try again tomorrow.

Wednesday I get to work from 3:00 untill midnight.

What-a-job!

It's (very) hot outside, and I am staying inside where it's cool.

I'd love to go to the creek, but I think I'll take advantage of the opportunity to get some rest.

I hope everyone is doing great.

joe

Great pics Ana and thanks much for sharing.

It's been a rainy and rather cool day and certainly feel like a nap is in order.

Wishing all a great day and a great start to the week.

Joe,

I just wanted to let you know that I will be stealing that Dalai Lama joke.

good afternoon to everyone ! hope you're all having a super day !

not a lot of time to chat today - many errands to run ,but i will stop in at some point this week . lots to catch up on...

Darlene to your granddaughter. I'm sure she had a super day. You spoiled her I'm sure. .

Time to call it a day if I can stop sneezing (aah choo). Sorry. Alergies I think. Night all. See you in the morning. Hey Trippy

Midgie

Ahhhh Mouth finally un-numbed. Hubby and I stuffed full of taco salad and jalapeno poppers. Hubby has gone off to bed as he didn't sleep at all last night. You gotta love jetlag....not!

Son justwalked in from work and I'm going to play a little D3 and then go on to bed.

Back later

Time for bed as my pillow is calling me. Night everybody sleep well and pleasant dreams!


Nan