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#836748 - 09/19/12 11:11 PM Thursdiner
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 29908
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.
George Burns (1896 - 1996)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Didja hear the news?" asked Keenan of his pal at the saloon. "Harrigan drank so much, his wife left him!"

"Bartender! Give me six boilermakers!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What's the difference between a Northern zoo and a Southern zoo?

In a Northern zoo you have the name of the animal and the Latin name underneath. In a Southern zoo you haven the name of the animal and a recipe underneath.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It seems a gentleman had too much alcohol at a party, was heading home, and was pulled over by a state trooper. Upon being tested, the fellow couldn't walk a straight line any more than he could drive one, so the trooper wrote out a ticket and had just given it to the driver before an accident in the opposite lane took his attention to more important matters. The inebriated driver, figuring that the trooper wasn't coming back to him, drove home and went to bed. he was awakened in the morning by a knock at the door, created by two more state troopers.

"Are you Mr. Johnson?" the asked? He admitted that he was. "Were you pulled over at Main Street last night for driving under the influence?" Again, the man admitted that was he. "And what did you do then," the troopers asked."

The man replied that he drove his car home and went to bed. "Where is your car now?" the troopers enquired. The man answered that it was in the garage. "May we see the car?" asked the troopers. The man answered, "Sure," and opened the garage. Inside the garage was the state troopers car.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A young and foolish pilot wanted to sound cool on the aviation frequencies. This was his first time approaching a field during the nighttime, and instead of making any official requests to the tower, he said, "Guess who?"

The controller switched the field lights off and replied, "Guess where!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One day a drunk walked into a bar and ordered a gin and tonic. He drank half of it and poured the rest on the bartender. The bartender got angry, grabbed the drunk by the collar, pulled him close to his face, and asked, "Why did you do that?"

The drunk said very apologetically, "I am so very sorry sir. Please forgive me. I can't help it. It's an illness I can't get rid of. I am so ashamed of it. How can I make it up to you?"

The bartender answered, "Haven't you seen anyone about this problem?" The drunk replied, "I never thought of that. Maybe I will."

The bartender said, "Don't come back until you do get help," and the drunk left.

About three months later the drunk came back to the same bar, ordered another gin and tonic, drank half of it, and poured the rest of it on the bartender.

The bartender shouted, "I thought I told you not to come back until you got help!"

The drunk replied, "I did. Now I don't feel ashamed."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Each day when I would come home from work I would drop to my knees and ask my 4-year-old son if he wanted to box. I wanted him to learn how to protect himself, so we would spar around for a few minutes before supper.

One day my wife and I took our son to get new shoes. The shoe salesman was friendly and allowed my son to try on several pairs of shoes before we decided on a particular pair that he liked. We asked if he wanted to wear them home and he replied, "Yes." The salesman, who was kneeling on the floor in front of our son, held the old shoes in his hands and asked, "Do you want a box?"

Our son stood up and punched him right on the nose.

After grabbing our son we had to spend the next several minutes explaining why this happened. Luckily, our salesman was the father of a 4 year old.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two young nuns having just been ordained were on a holiday in New York City and were standing in front of the gorilla cage at the Bronx Zoo. The gorilla took one look at this beautiful young nun, bent the bars, jumped to the ground and kissed her. Then he went back into his cage, straightened the bars and resumed thumping on his massive chest.

The nuns met again a week later and one of the nuns asked her friend,"I have one question. Did he sent flowers afterwards...?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Texan bought a round of drinks for all in the bar and said that his wife had just produced "a typical Texas baby" weighing twenty pounds.

Two weeks later he returned to the bar. The bartender recognized him and asked, "Aren't you the father of the typical Texas baby that weighed twenty pounds at birth?"

"Yup, shore am!"

"How much does he weigh now?"

The proud father answered, "Ten pounds."

The bartender said, "Why, what happened? He did weigh twenty pounds."

The proud Texas father said, "Jest had him circumcised!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I sure am getting sleepy though." rotfl

Good morning everyboomie. Sorry I thought I would post the punch line of a joke, and let you guess what the joke is. thumbsup

Good luck!

Is it really Thursday?? shocked

Where has this month gone? sherlock

Where have all the flowers gone?

Young girls picked them every one.

When will they ever learn? headscratch

It's a real problem when my train of thought crosses paths with an old song and gets derailed. slapforehead

That's why my brain is such a train wreck. crazy

Have a happy day everyone. happydance

ALL ABOARD! "Choo-Chooooo"

joe




Edited by gymcandy1 (09/19/12 11:15 PM)
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#836760 - 09/20/12 01:19 AM Re: Thursdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 7373
Loc: Greece
Good morning boomers,have all
nice day wave
_________________________

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.



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#836769 - 09/20/12 04:03 AM Re: Thursdiner [Re: Haroula]
cailyn Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 01/08/06
Posts: 5991
Loc: Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
Good morning Joe,Haroula,and all who stop by later waveI'll put the coffee on and keep it hot! Enjoy your day summer
_________________________
I may not have gone where I intended to go,but I think I have ended up where I need to be.

Sue

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#836775 - 09/20/12 04:49 AM Re: Thursdiner [Re: cailyn]
Drmojo Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 12/04/04
Posts: 1754
Loc: Washington In the Wet corner


Good Morning Boom Boom Buddies wave


We have been having a Indian summer
we have had 57 days of Sunshine woot
really gonna hate to see it end~


Have a nice day Boomers~ Karen angel summer
_________________________
OSO live
OSO Love
++OSO Strong++



Peace be with you~

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#836787 - 09/20/12 05:39 AM Re: Thursdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 16754
Loc: Marlborough USA
penguin Good Morning Joe, Haroula, Cailyn and Karen. It's a chilly morning here but it feels good! Love to walk when the air is crisp! Happy Day wished for all Boomers! penguin
_________________________
Gerry

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#836802 - 09/20/12 07:04 AM Re: Thursdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
GBC Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 14138
Loc: Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomersd

Joe, Now I'm going to have that song running through my mind all day.

Haroula, have a good one.

Cailyn, coffee please.

Karen, glad you got lots of sunny days!

Gerry, have a great day.

Ana, did you fall asleep in the corner?

To all who come in after me...wishing a wonderful day!
_________________________
Gail

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#836805 - 09/20/12 07:17 AM Re: Thursdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 7946
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. Lunch and shopping with best friend today. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Thursday. Danish and Cinnamon Buns in the NC. summer
_________________________
Connie

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#836829 - 09/20/12 09:57 AM Re: Thursdiner [Re: connie]
Darlene Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/10/00
Posts: 9267
Loc: Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! ALL ABOARD to your thrilling Thursdiner!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
_________________________
You become what you think about. Change your thoughts, change your life. - Dko

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#836835 - 09/20/12 10:22 AM Re: Thursdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 13467
Loc: northern Wisconsin
lol Joe!! My daughter got me this T-shirt with this saying on it: My Train of Thought Just Derailed. Wonder if she was trying to tell me something??? lol

Enjoy your day off and thanks sooo much for the laughs today!!

Haroula have a lovely day!

Cailyn does peace and quiet still reign at the campgrounds?? lol Have a lovely day!

Gerry it has been really brisk here in the mornings lately, like in the 30's. eek Too early for that. Have a nice day!

Karen great about the weather!! We have been cloudy the past few days due to a Canadian cold front blowing down. We even had rain. Hope all is well there HUGS!!

Gail what's on the table for today?? Something fun I hope!! Have a lovely day!

Connie have fun shopping with your friend and enjoy lunch! Maybe somethging fun will hop into the cart. Thanks for the treats!!

Darlene may things at work go smoothly and and the time fly!! Have a lovely day!

Ana are you having fun yet?????? lol Hope the new project moves right along for ya!!

I am off to run a few errands!

wave
Nan

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#836838 - 09/20/12 10:27 AM Re: Thursdiner [Re: auntiegram]
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 29908
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
Good morning everybody. wave

How are you this fine day? penguin

I'm doing hokey pokey......I mean okie dokie. thumbsup

Fixing to put my shoes on and take Baby out for a walk. happydance

Nan your daughter was probably trying to sing you something. wink

I hope everyone has a fantastic day. thumbsup

joe
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#836875 - 09/20/12 01:01 PM Re: Thursdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 41959
Loc: Alabama
Thumping Good Thursday ya'll wave

Such a day and it's only noon. Back later puppy
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#836884 - 09/20/12 01:26 PM Re: Thursdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 7022
Loc: San Diego, CA
Off to thrift store. Yesterday's find was a Waterford Crystal footed compote that retails for about 75 dollars. I paid two bucks. Nice. Already filled with goodies on my coffee table and friend has emptied half of it while watching Survivor and Big Brother. Wow. Hope today they have something else too good to pass up.
_________________________
WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.

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#836892 - 09/20/12 02:21 PM Re: Thursdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 03/07/09
Posts: 5325
Loc: Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Hi, everyone. wave Just stopping in quickly for a daily post. Fiance and I have to share my computer for a few days, since the charger on his laptop died. We're going to set up our other desktop, but we have to wait until we can borrow a monitor in order to do so. Can't afford a new monitor just yet, but my mom has a spare she hasn't used in over a year that she said we could borrow. We're going to see her on Sunday, which thankfully means the computer sharing will only be for a few days. Otherwise, I think we would go insane. lol

I made sure to get some gaming in earlier, and now I'm just off to check on a few things while I have the time.

Hope everyone is having a fantastic Thursday so far. cat

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#836898 - 09/20/12 02:50 PM Re: Thursdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
flutist Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/17/01
Posts: 11341
Loc: Kirkwood, MO USA
Hi there y'all. I have been around, just lurking and playing casual games. I gotta start doing something else besides play games. lol My ambition level has been zilch recently. Need to get out and do something exciting, but what?

I am wishing everyone a great day.
_________________________
Corgis fill your life with Joy, your heart with Love, and your soul with Sunshine.

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#836903 - 09/20/12 03:47 PM Re: Thursdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
Space Quest Fan Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 9351
Loc: Columbus,Ohio USA
Good afternoon Boomers wave
_________________________
It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

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