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Thursdiner #836748
09/19/12 11:11 PM
09/19/12 11:11 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.
George Burns (1896 - 1996)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Didja hear the news?" asked Keenan of his pal at the saloon. "Harrigan drank so much, his wife left him!"

"Bartender! Give me six boilermakers!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What's the difference between a Northern zoo and a Southern zoo?

In a Northern zoo you have the name of the animal and the Latin name underneath. In a Southern zoo you haven the name of the animal and a recipe underneath.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It seems a gentleman had too much alcohol at a party, was heading home, and was pulled over by a state trooper. Upon being tested, the fellow couldn't walk a straight line any more than he could drive one, so the trooper wrote out a ticket and had just given it to the driver before an accident in the opposite lane took his attention to more important matters. The inebriated driver, figuring that the trooper wasn't coming back to him, drove home and went to bed. he was awakened in the morning by a knock at the door, created by two more state troopers.

"Are you Mr. Johnson?" the asked? He admitted that he was. "Were you pulled over at Main Street last night for driving under the influence?" Again, the man admitted that was he. "And what did you do then," the troopers asked."

The man replied that he drove his car home and went to bed. "Where is your car now?" the troopers enquired. The man answered that it was in the garage. "May we see the car?" asked the troopers. The man answered, "Sure," and opened the garage. Inside the garage was the state troopers car.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A young and foolish pilot wanted to sound cool on the aviation frequencies. This was his first time approaching a field during the nighttime, and instead of making any official requests to the tower, he said, "Guess who?"

The controller switched the field lights off and replied, "Guess where!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One day a drunk walked into a bar and ordered a gin and tonic. He drank half of it and poured the rest on the bartender. The bartender got angry, grabbed the drunk by the collar, pulled him close to his face, and asked, "Why did you do that?"

The drunk said very apologetically, "I am so very sorry sir. Please forgive me. I can't help it. It's an illness I can't get rid of. I am so ashamed of it. How can I make it up to you?"

The bartender answered, "Haven't you seen anyone about this problem?" The drunk replied, "I never thought of that. Maybe I will."

The bartender said, "Don't come back until you do get help," and the drunk left.

About three months later the drunk came back to the same bar, ordered another gin and tonic, drank half of it, and poured the rest of it on the bartender.

The bartender shouted, "I thought I told you not to come back until you got help!"

The drunk replied, "I did. Now I don't feel ashamed."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Each day when I would come home from work I would drop to my knees and ask my 4-year-old son if he wanted to box. I wanted him to learn how to protect himself, so we would spar around for a few minutes before supper.

One day my wife and I took our son to get new shoes. The shoe salesman was friendly and allowed my son to try on several pairs of shoes before we decided on a particular pair that he liked. We asked if he wanted to wear them home and he replied, "Yes." The salesman, who was kneeling on the floor in front of our son, held the old shoes in his hands and asked, "Do you want a box?"

Our son stood up and punched him right on the nose.

After grabbing our son we had to spend the next several minutes explaining why this happened. Luckily, our salesman was the father of a 4 year old.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two young nuns having just been ordained were on a holiday in New York City and were standing in front of the gorilla cage at the Bronx Zoo. The gorilla took one look at this beautiful young nun, bent the bars, jumped to the ground and kissed her. Then he went back into his cage, straightened the bars and resumed thumping on his massive chest.

The nuns met again a week later and one of the nuns asked her friend,"I have one question. Did he sent flowers afterwards...?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Texan bought a round of drinks for all in the bar and said that his wife had just produced "a typical Texas baby" weighing twenty pounds.

Two weeks later he returned to the bar. The bartender recognized him and asked, "Aren't you the father of the typical Texas baby that weighed twenty pounds at birth?"

"Yup, shore am!"

"How much does he weigh now?"

The proud father answered, "Ten pounds."

The bartender said, "Why, what happened? He did weigh twenty pounds."

The proud Texas father said, "Jest had him circumcised!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I sure am getting sleepy though." rotfl

Good morning everyboomie. Sorry I thought I would post the punch line of a joke, and let you guess what the joke is. thumbsup

Good luck!

Is it really Thursday?? shocked

Where has this month gone? sherlock

Where have all the flowers gone?

Young girls picked them every one.

When will they ever learn? headscratch

It's a real problem when my train of thought crosses paths with an old song and gets derailed. slapforehead

That's why my brain is such a train wreck. crazy

Have a happy day everyone. happydance

ALL ABOARD! "Choo-Chooooo"

joe



Last edited by gymcandy1; 09/19/12 11:15 PM.

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Thursdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #836760
09/20/12 01:19 AM
09/20/12 01:19 AM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer
Haroula  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Good morning boomers,have all
nice day wave


I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

Re: Thursdiner [Re: Haroula] #836769
09/20/12 04:03 AM
09/20/12 04:03 AM
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,145
Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
cailyn Offline
BAAG Specialist
cailyn  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,145
Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
Good morning Joe,Haroula,and all who stop by later waveI'll put the coffee on and keep it hot! Enjoy your day summer


I may not have gone where I intended to go,but I think I have ended up where I need to be.

Sue
Re: Thursdiner [Re: cailyn] #836775
09/20/12 04:49 AM
09/20/12 04:49 AM
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,226
Washington In the Wet corner
Drmojo Offline
Addicted Boomer
Drmojo  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,226
Washington In the Wet corner


Good Morning Boom Boom Buddies wave


We have been having a Indian summer
we have had 57 days of Sunshine woot
really gonna hate to see it end~


Have a nice day Boomers~ Karen angel summer


"Horses are smart"

"You never heard of a Horse going broke"
betting on Humans~ Will Rogers~
Re: Thursdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #836787
09/20/12 05:39 AM
09/20/12 05:39 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
penguin Good Morning Joe, Haroula, Cailyn and Karen. It's a chilly morning here but it feels good! Love to walk when the air is crisp! Happy Day wished for all Boomers! penguin


Gerry
Re: Thursdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #836802
09/20/12 07:04 AM
09/20/12 07:04 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomersd

Joe, Now I'm going to have that song running through my mind all day.

Haroula, have a good one.

Cailyn, coffee please.

Karen, glad you got lots of sunny days!

Gerry, have a great day.

Ana, did you fall asleep in the corner?

To all who come in after me...wishing a wonderful day!


Gail
Re: Thursdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #836805
09/20/12 07:17 AM
09/20/12 07:17 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,019
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,019
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. Lunch and shopping with best friend today. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Thursday. Danish and Cinnamon Buns in the NC. summer


Connie
Re: Thursdiner [Re: connie] #836829
09/20/12 09:57 AM
09/20/12 09:57 AM
Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
Darlene Offline
Adept Boomer
Darlene  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! ALL ABOARD to your thrilling Thursdiner!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!


Woohoo and booyah! smile Have an easy peasy day!
Re: Thursdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #836835
09/20/12 10:22 AM
09/20/12 10:22 AM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
lol Joe!! My daughter got me this T-shirt with this saying on it: My Train of Thought Just Derailed. Wonder if she was trying to tell me something??? lol

Enjoy your day off and thanks sooo much for the laughs today!!

Haroula have a lovely day!

Cailyn does peace and quiet still reign at the campgrounds?? lol Have a lovely day!

Gerry it has been really brisk here in the mornings lately, like in the 30's. eek Too early for that. Have a nice day!

Karen great about the weather!! We have been cloudy the past few days due to a Canadian cold front blowing down. We even had rain. Hope all is well there HUGS!!

Gail what's on the table for today?? Something fun I hope!! Have a lovely day!

Connie have fun shopping with your friend and enjoy lunch! Maybe somethging fun will hop into the cart. Thanks for the treats!!

Darlene may things at work go smoothly and and the time fly!! Have a lovely day!

Ana are you having fun yet?????? lol Hope the new project moves right along for ya!!

I am off to run a few errands!

wave
Nan

Re: Thursdiner [Re: auntiegram] #836838
09/20/12 10:27 AM
09/20/12 10:27 AM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
Good morning everybody. wave

How are you this fine day? penguin

I'm doing hokey pokey......I mean okie dokie. thumbsup

Fixing to put my shoes on and take Baby out for a walk. happydance

Nan your daughter was probably trying to sing you something. wink

I hope everyone has a fantastic day. thumbsup

joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Thursdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #836875
09/20/12 01:01 PM
09/20/12 01:01 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Thumping Good Thursday ya'll wave

Such a day and it's only noon. Back later puppy


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Thursdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #836884
09/20/12 01:26 PM
09/20/12 01:26 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Off to thrift store. Yesterday's find was a Waterford Crystal footed compote that retails for about 75 dollars. I paid two bucks. Nice. Already filled with goodies on my coffee table and friend has emptied half of it while watching Survivor and Big Brother. Wow. Hope today they have something else too good to pass up.


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: Thursdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #836892
09/20/12 02:21 PM
09/20/12 02:21 PM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Hi, everyone. wave Just stopping in quickly for a daily post. Fiance and I have to share my computer for a few days, since the charger on his laptop died. We're going to set up our other desktop, but we have to wait until we can borrow a monitor in order to do so. Can't afford a new monitor just yet, but my mom has a spare she hasn't used in over a year that she said we could borrow. We're going to see her on Sunday, which thankfully means the computer sharing will only be for a few days. Otherwise, I think we would go insane. lol

I made sure to get some gaming in earlier, and now I'm just off to check on a few things while I have the time.

Hope everyone is having a fantastic Thursday so far. cat


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Thursdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #836898
09/20/12 02:50 PM
09/20/12 02:50 PM
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 11,505
Kirkwood, MO USA
flutist Offline
Adept Boomer
flutist  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 11,505
Kirkwood, MO USA
Hi there y'all. I have been around, just lurking and playing casual games. I gotta start doing something else besides play games. lol My ambition level has been zilch recently. Need to get out and do something exciting, but what?

I am wishing everyone a great day.


Corgis fill your life with Joy, your heart with Love, and your soul with Sunshine.
Re: Thursdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #836903
09/20/12 03:47 PM
09/20/12 03:47 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good afternoon Boomers wave


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Thursdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #836928
09/20/12 07:06 PM
09/20/12 07:06 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,267
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,267
In the Naughty Corner
Good afternoon boomies! I should have stayed in bed this morning. I have second degree burns on my shoulder from a weighted heating bag at the chiropractors. I lost skin and it's very swollen and sore. Not what I needed. lol

I did take my pups for a run today though and they are happy. I have been diligently working the rest of the day.

ARe we having fun yet?


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Thursdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #836930
09/20/12 07:25 PM
09/20/12 07:25 PM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Midge Offline
Graduate Boomer
Midge  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Ouchie Ana. That must smart. Ooooh.I hope you feel better tomorrow. I was under the weather today. It's a good thing I had the day off. I'm feeling a little better now.

The visit I had with my sister and BIL ended too soon. I really wanted them to stay longer but they had so many people to see.

Not much happening today around here. I did manage to go to the post office to pick up my mail. No bills, that was good. Ran an errand after that and that was about it for my activities. I did balance my checkbook though so I did accomplish something. Hi SQFan, L4L, Sorta, venus, Bets, and everyone else who's here. wave

Midgie hearts


Just do it.
Re: Thursdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #836933
09/20/12 07:36 PM
09/20/12 07:36 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,267
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,267
In the Naughty Corner
I am glad you finally had a day off Midgie. It's good to have a day to get caught up. I hope you feel better too. hearts


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Thursdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #836938
09/20/12 07:56 PM
09/20/12 07:56 PM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
Ana I was wanting to go back to bed and start over today too. lol Had the best laid plans and was doing good till my friend called and asked me to take him to the hospital right away as he had a collapsed lung. scared I had to drop everything and take him right away. He will be there at least over night so I know he is in good hands for now.

Sorry to hear about the burn. eek That on top of the black and blue shoulders, wow!! Glad you were able to get a run in with the dogs and that they are happy for now. Hope the project is moving right along.

wave L4l and Joe!!

venus good thing you have some kind of backup for computers! lol

Bets gaming is fun. I missed it today! lol Maybe later I'll get some in.

Space have a lovely evening!!

Aw Midge sorry they had to go already but hope you had a nice visit!! HUGS!

wave
Nan

Re: Thursdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #836939
09/20/12 08:03 PM
09/20/12 08:03 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,267
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,267
In the Naughty Corner
Nan, I am glad you were around to take your friend to the hospital. That had to be scary. I hope he is okay. Fish Fry tomorrow?


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Thursdiner [Re: BrownEyedTigre] #836940
09/20/12 08:04 PM
09/20/12 08:04 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
thanks Nan See you all tomorrow wave


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Thursdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #836958
09/20/12 10:14 PM
09/20/12 10:14 PM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Midge Offline
Graduate Boomer
Midge  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Night everyone. Early work day in the morning. Sleep well. Night MaG kissy

Midgie sleep


Just do it.
Re: Thursdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #836961
09/20/12 11:13 PM
09/20/12 11:13 PM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
Ana it was......a little. lol He should be OK. I expect a call from him tomorrow to come and pick him up. Yup.....Fish fry tomorrow night. happydance

Night Space and Midge sleep well and pleasant dreams. Might be my "good night" too as we have some storms wanting to move into the area. Time will tell.

sleep
Nan

Re: Thursdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #836966
09/20/12 11:31 PM
09/20/12 11:31 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Well, it's been a day and thankfully, it ended. So off to bed I go. Sleep well all sleep


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
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