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Two more for Sunday #839296
09/30/12 06:04 AM
09/30/12 06:04 AM
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 4,624
UK
Niki Offline OP
Addicted Boomer
Niki  Offline OP
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 4,624
UK
I was visiting my son and daughter-in-law last night
when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper.

'This is the 21st century, old man,' he said.
'We don't waste money on newspapers.
Here, you can borrow my i-Pad.'

I can tell you, that fly never knew what hit it...
...............................................................................................................
A DEA officer stopped at a ranch in Texas , and talked with an old rancher.
He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs."
The rancher said, "Okay, but don't go in that field over there.....," as he pointed out the location.

The DEA officer verbally exploded saying, " Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me!"
Reaching into his rear pants pocket, the arrogant officer removed his badge and proudly displayed it to the rancher.

"See this badge?! This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish....
On any land !! No questions asked or answers given!! Have I made myself clear......do you understand ?!!"

The rancher nodded politely, apologized, and went about his chores.

A short time later, the old rancher heard loud screams, looked up, and saw the DEA officer running for his life,
being chased by the rancher's big Santa Gertrudis bull......
With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it seemed likely that he'd sure enough get gored before he reached safety.
The officer was clearly terrified.

The rancher threw down his tools, ran to the fence and yelled at the top of his lungs.....

"Your badge, show him your BADGE........ ! !"


What are we? Women - What do we want? We don't know - When do we want it? Now
Re: Two more for Sunday [Re: Niki] #839301
09/30/12 07:14 AM
09/30/12 07:14 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Thanks Niki, loved the DEA officer.


Gail
Re: Two more for Sunday [Re: Niki] #839329
09/30/12 10:35 AM
09/30/12 10:35 AM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Love the Ipad one...tooo funny!


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Two more for Sunday [Re: Niki] #839332
09/30/12 10:46 AM
09/30/12 10:46 AM
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,243
Delaware, USA
SharonB Offline
Addicted Boomer
SharonB  Offline
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Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,243
Delaware, USA
rotfl

Re: Two more for Sunday [Re: Niki] #839333
09/30/12 10:48 AM
09/30/12 10:48 AM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
rotfl Flies don't stand a chance anymore!

wave


Dan
...
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music Stay Smart & Stay Safe
Re: Two more for Sunday [Re: soot] #839345
09/30/12 11:17 AM
09/30/12 11:17 AM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
rotfl Very funny Niki. thumbsup

joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Two more for Sunday [Re: Niki] #839366
09/30/12 01:03 PM
09/30/12 01:03 PM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer
Haroula  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
lol wave


I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

Re: Two more for Sunday [Re: Niki] #839384
09/30/12 02:30 PM
09/30/12 02:30 PM
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 3,295
Oregon
Lotus777 Offline
Addicted Boomer
Lotus777  Offline
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 3,295
Oregon
Good ones Niki!!! lol


Lotus
Life is like a hot bath. It feels good while you’re in it, but the longer you stay in, the more wrinkled you get.
Re: Two more for Sunday [Re: Lotus777] #839649
10/02/12 01:38 AM
10/02/12 01:38 AM
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 5,588
Oklahoma, USA
Homer6 Offline
BAAG Specialist
Homer6  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 5,588
Oklahoma, USA
Yep yep yep...sounds just like a big city guberment officer. rotfl


If something gets your goat, it just proves you have a goat to get.
Re: Two more for Sunday [Re: Niki] #839664
10/02/12 05:43 AM
10/02/12 05:43 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
lol Loved the ipad funny Niki! lol


Gerry
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