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TGI Thursday #841520
10/10/12 07:46 PM
10/10/12 07:46 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
Why is it drug addicts and computer afficionados are both called users?
Clifford Stoll
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The authorities were leading a priest, a drunkard and an engineer to the guillotine. They asked the priest if he wanted to face up or down when he meets his fate.

The priest said that he would like to face up so that he will be looking toward heaven when he dies. So, they raise the blade of the guillotine, release it and it comes speeding down and suddenly stops just inches from his neck.

The authorities take this as divine intervention and release the priest.

Next the drunkard comes to the guillotine. He also decides to die face up hoping that he will be as fortunate as the priest. They raise the blade of the guillotine, release it and it comes speeding down and suddenly stops just inches from his neck.

So, the authorities release the drunkard as well.

Next is the engineer. He also decides to die facing up. They slowly raise the blade of the guillotine when suddenly the engineer shouts, "WAIT!!!… Just as I thought. The rope is binding!!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Life Of A Government Worker

- You work 200 hours for the $100 bonus check and jubilantly say "Oh wow, thanks!"

- Dilbert cartoons hang outside every cube.

- When workers screw up they are transferred to another office to be someone else's problem; when management screws up they are promoted.

- Your boss' favorite lines are "when you get a few minutes," "in your spare time," "when you're freed up" and "I have an opportunity for you to excel."

- Training is something spoken about but never seen.

- Vacation is something you roll over to next year.

- No travel money to do the mission, but always enough money for another useless conference.

- Change is the norm.

- Organizational direction changes every 2 or 3 years.

- The worst possible reputation comes from being the initiator of a complaint.

- You only have makeup for fluorescent lighting.

- You can name more Government employees that used to work with you than the ones you work directly with in your current position.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In Computer Heaven:

The management is from Intel,
The design and construction is done by Apple,
The marketing is done by Microsoft,
IBM provides the support,
Gateway determines the pricing.


In Computer Hell:

The management is from Apple,
Microsoft does design and construction,
IBM handles the marketing,
The support is from Gateway,
Intel sets the price.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If Life Were Like A Computer:

You could add/remove someone in your life using the control panel.

You could put your kids in the recycle bin and restore them when you feel like it!

You could improve your appearance by adjusting the display settings.

You could turn off the speakers when life gets too noisy.

You could click on “find” (Ctrl, F) to recover your lost remote control and car keys.

To get your daily exercise, just click on "run"!

If you mess up your life, you could always press "Ctrl, Alt, Delete" and start all over!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jesus and Satan have an argument as to who is the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours until they agree to hold a contest with God as the judge.

They set themselves before their computers and begin. They type furiously for several hours, lines of code streaming up the screen.

Seconds before the end, a bolt of lightning struck taking out the electricity. Moments later, the power is restored, and God announces that the contest is over. He asks Satan to show what he has come up with.

Satan is visibly upset, and cries, "I have nothing! I lost it all when the power went out."

"Very well, then," says God, "let us see if Jesus fared any better."

Jesus enters a command, and the screen comes to life in vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir pour forth from the speakers.

Satan is astonished. He stutters, "But how?! I lost everything, yet
Jesus' program is intact! How did he do it?!"

God chuckles, "Jesus saves."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning all of you computer afficionados, or should I say "users?". wave

Come one come all
Time to step up and have a ball

Or maybe a doughnut hole and coffee. wink

Today is the first day, of the rest of my work week. thumbsup

More importantly it's the last day of the rest of my workweek. turkey

You know that little turkey looks so good I could gobble him up. razz

I wonder what he's thinking. think

He looks entirely too happy for this time of year.

He's probably thinking, "Boy I hope I'm the one the President pardons." turkey

I know that's what I'm thinking when someone calls me a turkey. taz

Have a happy day everyone.

joe

Last edited by gymcandy1; 10/10/12 07:50 PM.

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: TGI Thursday [Re: gymcandy1] #841567
10/10/12 10:20 PM
10/10/12 10:20 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Joe, happy Friday to you! Does this mean Baby will spend the night with you?
Have a happy day!

Gail, my thoughts and prayers will be with you. hearts

My day can go a few different ways so we'll see how it unfolds.

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: TGI Thursday [Re: gymcandy1] #841569
10/10/12 10:21 PM
10/10/12 10:21 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Have a great day Boomers. smile


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: TGI Thursday [Re: Space Quest Fan] #841575
10/10/12 10:55 PM
10/10/12 10:55 PM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 29,026
Unionville
manxman Offline
Sonic Boomer
manxman  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 29,026
Unionville
Hope all you boomers have a great Thursday wave


Sometimes lost is where you need to be. Just because you don't know your direction doesn't mean you don't have one.
Re: TGI Thursday [Re: gymcandy1] #841576
10/10/12 10:59 PM
10/10/12 10:59 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Same to you manxman and SpaceQ!

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: TGI Thursday [Re: BrownEyedTigre] #841592
10/11/12 03:18 AM
10/11/12 03:18 AM
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,145
Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
cailyn Offline
BAAG Specialist
cailyn  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,145
Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
Good morning Joe,Ana,manxman,SpaceQ waveGail my thoughts and prayers are headed your way hearts I'll keep the coffee hot and fresh! Have a great day everyone,Gerry how are you doing? wave


I may not have gone where I intended to go,but I think I have ended up where I need to be.

Sue
Re: TGI Thursday [Re: gymcandy1] #841596
10/11/12 05:23 AM
10/11/12 05:23 AM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer
Haroula  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Good morning,have a nice day wave


I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

Re: TGI Thursday [Re: Haroula] #841611
10/11/12 07:27 AM
10/11/12 07:27 AM
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,243
Delaware, USA
SharonB Offline
Addicted Boomer
SharonB  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,243
Delaware, USA
Good morning Joe and Gameboomers! wave

Gail I wish you great success on your surgery and rapid healing.

Ana, hope your toe isn't too bad today and that you have a very good day what ever you decide to do.

Venus, it's really good to hear your friend is back for good! yay

Karen, Glad you got to go shopping, hope that was successful and hope that your chiropractor worked their magic. smile

My10, hope your plumbing problems cam be fixed quickly and cheaply. smile

3dobermans, good luck with your eye drops and hope your dogs don't feel neglected long. puppy

Looney - Hope you feel better! smile

Nan, Hope Tom isn't feeling too bad and has rapid healing.

Joe, I feel really sorry for you and Baby. I know how tough it can be to leave a loved pet and not be able to explain to them why it has to be this way.

As for myself -- Today the Internet Service guy is coming at 8:15 this morning. Then I need to walk back to Walgreen's for another prescription. I need the exercise, right? laugh I'm so glad I can go get it myself and I'm not forced to ask for help. penguin

Wishing all health and good gaming! catrub

Re: TGI Thursday [Re: gymcandy1] #841612
10/11/12 07:29 AM
10/11/12 07:29 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. Gail, positive thoughts and prayers on the way. angel Joe, my heart breaks for Baby and you. puppy Nan, prayers for your friend that the Chemo works quickly and he has no bad side effects from it. angel I need to go to the grocery store later to get some things to leave for Robert while we are gone. He will be staying here to take care of the pets while we are gone. He will also be closer to his work from here. The boys are back from Maryland and will be working close to home for a bit. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Thursday. Danish and Cinnamon Apple Pancakes in the NC. summer


Connie
Re: TGI Thursday [Re: gymcandy1] #841613
10/11/12 07:30 AM
10/11/12 07:30 AM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Hello and goodbye, everyone. wave Quick whoosh this morning because my alarm did not go off! eek I told my boss about it, and he was very understanding; said just to get there when I got there.

I still want to get there as soon as possible, of course, so I'm off. Have a great Thursday, everyone. wave


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: TGI Thursday [Re: venus] #841628
10/11/12 09:34 AM
10/11/12 09:34 AM
Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
Darlene Offline
Adept Boomer
Darlene  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Hope that, whatever day this is in your work week, it's Fab-U-Lous!

Gail, you are in our thoughts! Big hugs and prayers going up for a routine surgery and easy healing! hearts

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!


Woohoo and booyah! smile Have an easy peasy day!
Re: TGI Thursday [Re: gymcandy1] #841654
10/11/12 11:54 AM
10/11/12 11:54 AM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
Joe only half a day of work left. May it fly so you may start your day off!! Thanks for the laughs.

Ana what fun and wonderful things do you have planned today?? Have fun!!

Space, Manxamn, Cailyn, Haroula have a wonderfully lovely day!

Sharon hope it is nice for your walk to Walgreens. Mine is about two miles, one way! But I could hop on the bus if I had to.

Connie have fun rocery shopping. That is nice that you do that and that Robert will come and house sit. Thanks for the treats!

venus happy whooooooshing!! lol

Darlene may work go smoothly for you today!

Gail thinking of you and praying that all goes well. :angels: May the Band be there with you!! HUGS!

Thank you all for the well wishes for my friend Tom!!!

wave
Nan

Re: TGI Thursday [Re: gymcandy1] #841659
10/11/12 12:18 PM
10/11/12 12:18 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Good morning all, on the phone with daughter wave

How is everyone?puppy


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: TGI Thursday [Re: gymcandy1] #841668
10/11/12 12:52 PM
10/11/12 12:52 PM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer
Haroula  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Gail luckHugs wave hearts


I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

Re: TGI Thursday [Re: gymcandy1] #841684
10/11/12 03:38 PM
10/11/12 03:38 PM
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,402
Lexington, Texas
Yankee Clipper Offline
Addicted Boomer
Yankee Clipper  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,402
Lexington, Texas
One of these days I'm going to ignor my routine and game as soon as I wake up. Maybe I could get some of those hard to get stopping places....or maybe not. But it would lighten up the day.

Beauty day -it's 89 oh joy- and now its softly raining -more oh joy-. On the 1st cold day I started to ache all over -now it's warmer and aches are gonegonegone. Good. Oh if this weather were winter.

Yes, I should have got Commander Button's picture yesterday -my bad. I must get rid of my land line and buy a phone. There's a phone out now that's paper thin and has games and takes a ton of pics. The problem is technology has passed me by. Muust get my son to update me on these things.

Happy day all


I wish I were a cat and belonged to me ~ My Aunt Helen Mary Rose
Re: TGI Thursday [Re: gymcandy1] #841686
10/11/12 03:46 PM
10/11/12 03:46 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Ack! I really thought I stopped in this morning but I think that was yesterday. lol

I have been out and about running errands for me, family and now I just got back from the park with the dogs. I am going to mow the lawn and the blanket of leaves since it's garbage night. It's too hard to find the doggie land mines under the leaves so I have to keep the yard clear.

I think I am going to street vybe class tonight in our other club. Nnanna is teaching and it would be fun. Better than sitting here doing nothing constructive.

Be back after I finish the lawn.

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: TGI Thursday [Re: gymcandy1] #841689
10/11/12 03:57 PM
10/11/12 03:57 PM
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 3,680
kansas
my10rugrats Offline
Addicted Boomer
my10rugrats  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 3,680
kansas
well its turned out to be a pretty nice day out today. up to 81 outside. went to the dr this morning for my 3 mo check up and am doing ok. go back in 3 mo., but got to go back in next month for some lab. the lab ran a test today that the dr didn't know why, something about my muscles, and it was a little off so he wants to recheck it next month. also got my flu shot today and feel kind of nasty. first time i have felt this way since i started taking them. well need to get around and get something done granddaughter has a choir program tonight , she decided to take choir this year . so havea great evening everyone .

Re: TGI Thursday [Re: gymcandy1] #841699
10/11/12 04:55 PM
10/11/12 04:55 PM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer
Haroula  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
sleep wave


I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

Re: TGI Thursday [Re: gymcandy1] #841702
10/11/12 05:19 PM
10/11/12 05:19 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Hmmmmm Methinks this cooler weather is calling for a nap. wave


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: TGI Thursday [Re: looney4labs] #841718
10/11/12 06:20 PM
10/11/12 06:20 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good afternoon Boomers wave


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: TGI Thursday [Re: gymcandy1] #841725
10/11/12 08:40 PM
10/11/12 08:40 PM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Midge Offline
Graduate Boomer
Midge  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Eek! I missed another morning here in the diner. I think I'm fading away....Can you still see me, hear me??? Halloween's coming. Maybe the witch put a spell on me. taz Sorry, I'm tired tonight.

I hope you all had a good day today.

Midgie hearts devilchili


Just do it.
Re: TGI Thursday [Re: Midge] #841732
10/11/12 09:15 PM
10/11/12 09:15 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
Midgie I'm tired too. Had a very long busy day, and yes Ana I have my Baby here with me tonight. wave

I've gotta get a diner out before I pass out. tired

I hope you all had a great day today. yes

wink joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: TGI Thursday [Re: gymcandy1] #841734
10/11/12 09:31 PM
10/11/12 09:31 PM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Midge Offline
Graduate Boomer
Midge  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Oh Joe, that's wonderful that you have Baby with you tonight.Baby must be in heaven.

I'm signing off for the night. Early work shify in the morning. See you then.

Midgie sleep


Just do it.
Re: TGI Thursday [Re: gymcandy1] #841736
10/11/12 09:42 PM
10/11/12 09:42 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Good night my sleepy friends. sleep

I am so glad that Baby is with you tonight Joe. hearts


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: TGI Thursday [Re: gymcandy1] #841764
10/11/12 11:54 PM
10/11/12 11:54 PM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
Good Night Everybody!!! Sleep well and pleasant dreams!

sleep
Nan

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