"The man whose only pleasure in life is making money, weighs less on the moral scale than an angleworm."
More goofy excuses you can use to get out of going somewhere you just don't wanna go to.
I'D LOVE TO BUT...
...I did my own thing and now I've got to undo it.
...I have to check the freshness dates on my dairy products.
...I have to floss my pets...
...I have to go to the post office to see if I'm still wanted.
...I want to spend more time with my blender.
...I'm attending the opening of my garage door.
...I'm building a pig from a kit.
...I'm doing door-to-door collecting for static cling.
...I'm enrolled in aerobic scream therapy.
...I'm getting my overalls overhauled.
...I'm going through cherry cheesecake withdrawl.
...I'm staying home to work on my mottled yogurt sculptures.
...I'm teaching my ferret to yodel.
...I'm trying to see how long I can go without saying yes.
...I've got plans to go downtown to try on gloves.
...It's my parakeet's bowling night.
...My patent is pending.
...The nice man on television told me to say tuned...
I'D LOVE TO BUT...
... I don't want to leave my comfort zone.
... I have some real hard words to look up in the dictionary.
... I have to answer all of my "occupant" letters.
... I have to fluff my shower cap.
... I have to fulfill my potential.
... I left my body in my other clothes.
... I made an appointment with a cuticle specialist.
... I'll be looking for a parking space.
... I'm being deported.
... I'm converting my calendar watch from Julian to Gregorian.
... I'm giving nuisance lessons at a convenience store.
... I'm going down to the bakery to watch the buns rise.
... I'm sandblasting my oven.
... I'm taking a crash course in punk totem pole carving.
... I'm worried about my vertical hold.
... I've come down with a really horrible case of something or other.
... I've got a Friends of the Rutabaga meeting.
... It's too close to the turn of the century.
... My Millard Filmore Fan Club meets then.
... My plot to take over the world is thickening.
... My subconscious says no.
... None of my socks match.
... The grunion are running.
... The last time I went, I never came back.
... The monsters haven't turned blue yet; I have to eat more dots.
Now I'm curious to hear what your excuse would be. I don't want to hear "I'm washing my hair." either. I heard that one already. ￼
I'm waiting. ;
Doctor: "It's no good. I can't find anything wrong with you. It must just be the effects of drinking."
Patient: "I'll come back when you're sober then!"
An applicant was being interviewed for admission to a prominent medical school. "Tell me," inquired the interviewer, "where do you expect to be ten years from now?"
"Well, let's see," replied the student. "It's Wednesday afternoon. I guess I'll be on the golf course by now."
Good morning everyboomie. ￼
Well well well what have we here?
Another day, another diner. ￼
As long as the days keep coming I'm pretty happy. ￼
It’s when they stop coming that I have the problem. If they ever stop coming I'm going to have to file a complaint with management.
I think I‘ve earned a lot more days…………no matter how old I am.￼
As far as the diner goes, if you have any complaints at all, the buck stops with me, and then I deposit it in my account, so please keep ‘em coming.￼
Thank you! ￼ :pumpkin:
Have a happy, complaint free day everyone. ￼