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#847287 - 11/05/12 07:09 PM Votin Totin Tuesday
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 29782
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
"It is difficult to say who do you the most mischief: enemies with the worst intentions or friends with the best." --
E. R. Bulwer-Lytton
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in. Jacob addresses the man behind the counter: "Are you the owner?"

The pharmacist answers "Yes".

Jacob: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?"

Pharmacist: "Of course we do."

Jacob: "How about medicine for circulation?"

Pharmacist: "All kinds."

Jacob: "Medicine for rheumatism, scoliosis? "

Pharmacist: "Definitely."

Jacob: "How about Viagra?"

Pharmacist: "Of course."

Jacob: "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, Jaundice?"

Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety. The works."

Jacob: "What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson's disease?"

Pharmacist: "Absolutely."

Jacob: "You sell wheelchairs and walkers?"

Pharmacist: "All speeds and sizes."

Jacob says to the pharmacist: "Good, we'd like to use this store as our Bridal Registry!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Senior Personal Ads


FOXY LADY: Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty, 80's, slim, 5'4" (used to be 5'6"), searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing companion. Matching white shoes and belt a plus.

LONG-TERM COMMITMENT: Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband, and am looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot. Dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath not a problem.

SERENITY NOW: I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, yoga and meditation. If you are the silent type, let's get together, take our hearing aids out and enjoy quiet times.

WINNING SMILE: Active grandmother with original teeth seeking a dedicated! flosser to share rare steaks, corn on the cob and caramel candy.

BEATLES OR STONES? I still like to rock, still like to cruise in my Camaro on Saturday nights and still like to play the guitar. If you were a groovy chick, or are now a groovy hen, let's get together and listen to my eight-track tapes.

MEMORIES: I can usually remember Monday through Thursday. If you can remember Friday, Saturday and Sunday, let's put our two heads together.

MINT CONDITION: Male, 1932, high mileage, good condition, some hair, many new parts including hip, knee, cornea, valves. Isn't in running condition, but walks well.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A man worked in a post office. His job was to process all mail that had illegible addresses. One day a letter came to his desk, addressed in a shaky handwriting to God. He thought, "I better open this one and see what it's all about." So he opened it and it read:

"Dear God, I am an 83 year old widow living on a very small pension. Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had a hundred dollars in it which was all the money I had until my next pension check." "Next Sunday is Easter, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with." "I have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope. Can you please help me?"

The postal worker was touched, and went around showing the letter to all the others. Each of them dug into his wallet and came up with a few dollars. By the time he made the rounds, he had collected 96 dollars, which they put into an envelope and sent over to her. The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of the nice thing they had done. Easter came and went, and a few days later came another letter from the old lady to God. All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened.
It read:

"Dear God, How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me?" "Because of your generosity, I was able to fix a lovely dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day, and I told my friends of your wonderful gift. " "By the way, there was 4 dollars missing. It was no doubt those thieving b------s at the post office."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"OLD" IS WHEN... Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Pick one, I can't do both!"

"OLD" IS WHEN.. Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.

"OLD" IS WHEN.... A sexy babe catches your eye and your pacemaker opens the garage door.

"OLD" IS WHEN... Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

"OLD" IS WHEN. You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

"OLD" IS WHEN..... You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.

"OLD" IS WHEN..... "Getting a little action" means I don't need to take any fiber today.

"OLD" IS WHEN..... "Getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot.

"OLD" IS WHEN..... An "all-nighter" means not getting up to pee.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie.  wave

How is everyone doing today?

I haven't looked in the mirror yet, so I don't know how I'm doing. cool

Either I'm still alive or or muscle cramps and joint pain don't improve much after death. 

I may have to wait until next payday to know for sure.

They say nothing is certain but death and taxes, so if taxes are held out of my check I'll know......for certain.  razz

There is one thing that kinda makes me think I'm still probably in Oklahoma. 

I hear cows mooing.  slapforehead

Of course that could mean something else, but I'm not even going to consider that possibility.  shame

Have a heavenly happy super Tuesday everyone. penguin

Happy voting. thumbsup

joe

I almost positive they don't have computers in Heaven anyway. 

Cursing is not allowed.  grin



Edited by gymcandy1 (11/05/12 07:38 PM)
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#847298 - 11/05/12 07:57 PM Re: Votin Totin Tuesday [Re: gymcandy1]
Space Quest Fan Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 9066
Loc: Columbus,Ohio USA
I'm really looking forward to voting Joe. I think Ohio is going to be important this time around. Have a great day. thumbsup
_________________________
It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

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#847310 - 11/05/12 08:54 PM Re: Votin Totin Tuesday [Re: gymcandy1]
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 6769
Loc: San Diego, CA
I voted absentee a few weeks back. Now to wait it out tomorrow and see who wins. Were some 'politicians' roaming the neighborhood earlier, looking for votes. Dunno who, but they were well dressed and friendly. Probably belonged to the 'other' party. rotfl
_________________________
WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.

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#847348 - 11/06/12 01:50 AM Re: Votin Totin Tuesday [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 6886
Loc: Greece
Good morning Joe,Space,Sorta and everyone smile
I hope the best for you and your country yes
Who is gonna be the next president effects
the whole world woozy
Anyway I wish you all a <happy> day fall


Edited by Haroula (11/06/12 02:52 AM)
_________________________
As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.





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#847357 - 11/06/12 02:54 AM Re: Votin Totin Tuesday [Re: Haroula]
cailyn Online   sad
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 01/08/06
Posts: 5952
Loc: Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
Good morning Joe,Sorta,Space,Haroula and all who follow me in wave I'll be glad to see all the Ads and commercials stop!They have been on non stop for months eek Happy voting everyone,plenty of coffee in the corner shiver
_________________________
I may not have gone where I intended to go,but I think I have ended up where I need to be.

Sue

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#847360 - 11/06/12 03:16 AM Re: Votin Totin Tuesday [Re: cailyn]
Gimli Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 06/15/05
Posts: 2309
Loc: Switzerland
Good morning friends

I just heard from my Italian gardener that there has been a break-in (burglary) in my Italian home. We have to drive there immediately. Will keep you in the loop. Please pray that the damage isn't so bad. Love, Evelyne
_________________________
"You ask me what life is. That's like asking me what a carrot is. A carrot is a carrot is a carrot" (A. Chekhov)

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#847361 - 11/06/12 03:36 AM Re: Votin Totin Tuesday [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 6886
Loc: Greece
Evelyne,so sory to hear this sad
I hope everything goes well yes
_________________________
As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.





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#847368 - 11/06/12 04:59 AM Re: Votin Totin Tuesday [Re: gymcandy1]
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 03/07/09
Posts: 5226
Loc: Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Well, it's time for yet another whoosh to work. wave

Have a terrific Tuesday, everyone. fall

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#847373 - 11/06/12 06:33 AM Re: Votin Totin Tuesday [Re: gymcandy1]
Midge Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 04/30/00
Posts: 14464
Loc: Massachusetts
Good morning.Happy voting day everyone. I have way too much to do today. For starters today I have to get my laundry done, Then off to my new apartment to get approved, then home to pack some more. Work for 5:00 later on. I'm tired just thinking about it. Voting this morning. Hope you guys have a spectacular day. Oh Evelyne I'm so sorry about the breakin. Prayers that they didn't do any damage. Hugs.

Midgie hearts
_________________________
Just do it.

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#847375 - 11/06/12 07:19 AM Re: Votin Totin Tuesday [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 7806
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. Midge, Congrats on finding an even better apartment. yay Evelyn, prayers there is no damage from the break-in. hearts Hubby and I will be voting today. We can walk to our polling place. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Tuesday. Danish, Donuts, and Omelets with Toast in the NC. Crunchy Donut holes for L4L. fall
_________________________
Connie

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#847379 - 11/06/12 07:41 AM Re: Votin Totin Tuesday [Re: gymcandy1]
GBC Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 13750
Loc: Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Joe, thanjks for the morning cheers.

Ana, did you get a chance to sleep in this morning?

Space, Sorta, Haroula, Venus, good morning!

Evelyne, prayers out that nothing valuable to you has been taken.

Midgie, sounds like a busy day. Bet you'll be glad when you're all settled in and can relax.

Connie, Enjoy the day. Thanks for the Danish.

Cailyn, Please please pass the hot coffee over.

Wishing everyone a wonderful day! Voting this morning then a Doc appointment this afternoon.
_________________________
Gail

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#847409 - 11/06/12 10:02 AM Re: Votin Totin Tuesday [Re: GBC]
Darlene Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/10/00
Posts: 9143
Loc: Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Happy Votin Totin Tuesday!

Hey, Midgie! So happy about the news of your new apartment! Woohoo! woot

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
_________________________
You become what you think about. Change your thoughts, change your life. - Dko

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#847413 - 11/06/12 10:10 AM Re: Votin Totin Tuesday [Re: gymcandy1]
SharonB Offline
Settled Boomer

Registered: 01/23/09
Posts: 934
Loc: Delaware, USA
Good morning Joe and all Gameboomers! wave

The sun is out and looks to be a pretty day. I have to do some cleaning then I'm going out to vote. This evening I get my rental car so it's shopping time! yay I'll have it till tomorrow afternoon because I have a Dr. appt early tomorrow.

Good luck with your packing, etc. today Midge.

Gimli -- Very sorry to hear about the break-in and hope not too much damage. shocked

Connie -- Boy that breakfast sounds good! happydance

Gail -- Good luck with your Dr. appt. luck

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#847417 - 11/06/12 10:22 AM Re: Votin Totin Tuesday [Re: gymcandy1]
Yankee Clipper Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 08/27/04
Posts: 1885
Loc: Lexington, Texas
That's good news Nidge woops typo -Midge. And your own laundry too -Wow! Das seus leben. If ever you meet the old dragonlady tell her how wonderful the new place is hahaha.

Just ordered a bunch from Amazon -oh gosh why do I do these things, but it's going to be a gaming winter that's for sure. For starters
Devil May Cry -5 0r 6 whatever, the new
one
Devil May Cry 1,2,3 collection
And thee game COD Black ops 2 the
zombie one
There's so many new games to pre-order. Sometime though I must play those games I started but never finished.

Cooold today

Evelyne how awful -they do that here too. I hope the crooks are captured and forced to make restitution. Why do some demean themselves like that

Happy Tuesday all
_________________________
I wish I were a cat and belonged to me ~ My Aunt Helen Mary Rose

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#847429 - 11/06/12 11:21 AM Re: Votin Totin Tuesday [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 41467
Loc: Alabama
Terrific Tuesday ya'll puppy

It is cool and raining in AL. Hubby went out and brought home sausage biscuits happydance but I still have room for some of those crunchy donuts. puppy

There is some cleaning, some chillin', and probably a nap in my future.

Back later wave
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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