-1.I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah; I thought, ''He's trying to pull a f--- o--''.
-2.There's two fish in a tank, and one says ''How do you ----- this thing?''
-3.A jump-cable walks into a bar. The barman says ''I'll serve you, but don't s---- anything''
-4.Slept like a log last night........ Woke up in the f--------.
-5.The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow. I rang her up, I said ''Did you get my d----?''.
-6.I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day. Now I can't get the c------ out of her hair.
-7.A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. ''But why?'' they asked, as they moved off. ''because,'' he said ''I can't stand c---- nuts b------- in an open f----.''
-8.Four fonts walk into a bar the barman says ''Hey - get out! We don't want your ---- in here''
9.I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a c----
t---------. It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
10.I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly c------ myself.