"Age is of no importance unless you are a cheese."
You won't be saying that when you're 65. ￼
Mafia Valentine Verses
My love for you... it came and went.
So your feet are now in wet cement.
I'm here To fulfill your fondest wishes
Now that your husband sleeps with the fishes.
Lie down with me -- it's my final offa,
Or you'll be lying wit' Jimmy Hoffa.
I picked up dis card from a slim selection
But that's all they offer here in witness protection.
Be my Valentine, and we can do it execution-style.
Cinderella got her fella, with a slipper made of glass;
So please be mine, Valentine, or I'll have to whack your......backside. ￼
Violets are blue, roses are red,
I blew up your car -- So why ain't you dead?
The day we met, my little pet, I knew with just one look
You'd bear a son, and now that's done, So shut your mouth and cook!
Youse da greatest. Youse da best.
But you're as untouchable as Elliot Ness.
Lust is fleeting, true love lingers.
Be mine always and you'll keep your fingers.
Hope da chocolates is good, but y'know, dis ain't really what a guy's heart looks like.
When a goon makes you die,
Cuz you told him goodbye -- that's amore!
Next time you're invited to a boring social event, try one of these excuses to why you can't attend:
I'D LOVE TO BUT...
... I don't want to leave my comfort zone. ... I have some real hard words to look up in the dictionary. ... I have to answer all of my "occupant" letters. ... I have to fluff my shower cap. ... I have to fulfill my potential. ... I left my body in my other clothes. ... I made an appointment with a cuticle specialist. ... I'll be looking for a parking space. ... I'm being deported. ... I'm converting my calendar watch from Julian to Gregorian. ... I'm giving nuisance lessons at a convenience store. ... I'm going down to the bakery to watch the buns rise. ... I'm sandblasting my oven. ... I'm taking a crash course in punk totem pole carving. ... I'm worried about my vertical hold. ... I've come down with a really horrible case of something or other. ... I've got a Friends of the Rutabaga meeting. ... it's too close to the turn of the century. ... my Millard Filmore Fan Club meets then. ... my plot to take over the world is thickening. ... my subconscious says no. ... none of my socks match. ... the grunion are running. ... the last time I went, I never came back. ... the monsters haven't turned blue yet; I have to eat more dots.
Good morning everyboomie. ￼
Gads I'm in a hurry and my mind is a blank! ￼
Like I've always said, the first thing they taught me in art class was how to draw a blank, and I got an A+++. ￼
My teacher said I was inspired.
And believe it or not, I've even gotten better with age.
I can even do it blind folded.
I can do it right handed OR left handed.
The thing that has not gotten any better with age, unfortunately, is inspiration. ￼
If perspiration really makes up for it though, I should be almost back to even. ￼
Well, almost nearly, but.....not.....quite.....hardly. ￼
I’ve gotta be getting close though.
Have a happy day everybody!