#854719 - 12/08/12 02:14 PM
Single Again
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Addicted Boomer
Registered: 07/27/05
Posts: 2246
Loc: IL - All Cities
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Hi GB friends, I've shared with you my tales of frustration during the last 7 months after starting the divorce process and moving out. This past Weds, went to court and had my marriage legally dissolved. Once the judge had the paperwork, it took maybe 10 minutes to end a 30 year marriage. Still can't quite believe it. Hardest part is getting used to thinking, saying, and writing my maiden name which I reclaimed as part of the divorce agreement. I've many fond memories and few regrets. He's been fairly amiable thru the whole thing tho the big fly in the ointment that may cause the maintenance issue to need to be reconsidered is the fact that he'll be laid off possibly soon after the beginning of 2013. So, I'm being open to the reality that he may not be able to make 72 payments. For now, tho, enjoying not having to consult and/or argue with him about everything. Thanks for listening and just for being a GB friend. 
_________________________
Life's a puzzle; one piece at a time.
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#854724 - 12/08/12 02:30 PM
Re: Single Again
[Re: butterflybabe]
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The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer
Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 75010
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
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On to a new chapter in your life. May it be full of amazing new adventures and peace within. Ana 
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls
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#854735 - 12/08/12 03:52 PM
Re: Single Again
[Re: butterflybabe]
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Hints & Glitches forum Moderator
Adept Boomer
Registered: 06/03/05
Posts: 13113
Loc: In Missouri near St. Louis
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I can't express myself any better than Ana did. Now that it's over, you can concentrate on your new life and adventures!
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In my PC corner for the winter, gaming, knitting and reading.
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#854772 - 12/08/12 07:48 PM
Re: Single Again
[Re: butterflybabe]
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BAAG Specialist
Registered: 10/08/03
Posts: 9790
Loc: The Garden State
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All my wishes to you, Butterflybabe!
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Into each life some rain must fall, but this is getting ridiculous!
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#854779 - 12/08/12 09:00 PM
Re: Single Again
[Re: butterflybabe]
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BAAG Specialist
Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 9512
Loc: San Diego, CA
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Having been through 2 divorces, you can take my advice and consider this an opportunity to reclaim your sanity and happiness. My first was 20 years, second 5 1/2 but both still stressful to end and I couldn't help feeling like I failed. After I got used to sleeping alone in an all too quiet house, I finally figured out the perks of being single. YOU get the TV remote all to yourself, you can eat anything anytime you want, you don't have to watch what HE wants on TV, you don't have dirty laundry all over the house, you can make all the decisions on what to buy and shop for hours and hours and bring home stuff he would never 'approve'. Enjoy your freedom, but remember all the 'good times' of those 30 years. There must have been many. Don't let the last few ruin all you accomplished. Be happy, and hey, now you can flirt with all the men you want without feeling guilty! 
_________________________
WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
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#854851 - 12/09/12 05:39 AM
Re: Single Again
[Re: butterflybabe]
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True Blue Boomer
Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 22653
Loc: Marlborough USA
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Butterflybabe I wish you the best on your next journey in life. Be happy!
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Gerry
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#854872 - 12/09/12 08:20 AM
Re: Single Again
[Re: Kaki's Sister]
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Addicted Boomer
Registered: 06/15/05
Posts: 2315
Loc: Switzerland
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I wish you also a wonderful new start in your life Butterflybabe  I had to laugh about what Sorta said what you now can do. I'am with my hubby for 30 years now and we never had a quarrel about the TV remote control.... because..... we never had a TV in the first place  Happy Sunday my friends! Evelyne
_________________________
"You ask me what life is. That's like asking me what a carrot is. A carrot is a carrot is a carrot" (A. Chekhov)
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#854962 - 12/09/12 12:27 PM
Re: Single Again
[Re: butterflybabe]
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Addicted Boomer
Registered: 07/27/05
Posts: 2246
Loc: IL - All Cities
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Thanks for all of your good wishes and, yes, I do have many fond memories. I do hope that, at some point in the future, he and I will be able to be friends. Even after court, when going to the bank to take care of a transaction, he shared info re: a private joke and had me laughing. It may be that we'll enjoy each other's company more now that we're not married. He comes across as a sweet, kind, caring man which he is yet there are conditions that I didn't understand/realize until much later in our marriage.
Sorta, I feel sad that 2 divorces have left you feeling as tho you failed. Remember, that it takes two. If you've not been able to figure out what went wrong, maybe it wasn't you. Being by myself for the first time in my life has been heaven since I don't have to answer or compromise, consider any one else but me. My diet has changed drastically since I can decide wht I want to eat and when. Not always the most nutritious but I'm giving myself that leeway for now. Ironically, picking up after him was never an issue nor was I a 'sports wife'. Compared to him I'm a slob, which I'm not, just more relaxed. I don't have a problem with people visiting if I haven't cleaned up so everything is brand spanking shiny, etc. Our problem issues derived from lack of substantial communitation. We tried everything until he stopped cooperating and it became obvious he was doing many things just to pacify me. Not the kind of man/relationship I want. Things started to disintegrate about 2 yrs ago when my mom was experiencing her own death journey. It took her 6 months and I felt little support from him. I guess he just didn't have it to give after having spent 7 yrs dealing with his own mom's slow decline which I helped him with all the way. I've come to understand that after living almost 30 yrs with my dad, a verbally abusive alcoholic; tho I didn't realize it at the time, I married the opposite, a quiet man with food issues which I later came to understand is another kind of abuse, that of silence. So, now, the only voice I listen to is my heart, and those who support rather than negatively question or cut me down for my ideas and/or feelings.
Yet, it doesn't hurt any less. Tomorrow, I meet the movers at the resident I give to my ex and my belongings will be relocated to a storage facility until I find my next home. I look forward to living with my own decor and making a home just for me to embrace who I am without parents, family and church. Visitors are most welcome.
_________________________
Life's a puzzle; one piece at a time.
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#854980 - 12/09/12 12:57 PM
Re: Single Again
[Re: butterflybabe]
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Graduate Boomer
Registered: 12/13/03
Posts: 15022
Loc: Northeast NJ
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butterflybabe Wishing you the Best of luck... My prayers for all the Best on your new journey ahead.. Hugs 
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Luv Dar
GameBoomers "Games Are More Enticing Because Of Our "MaG"nificent Efficient Radiant Site"
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