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#854719 - 12/08/12 02:14 PM Single Again
butterflybabe Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 07/27/05
Posts: 2246
Loc: IL - All Cities
Hi GB friends,

I've shared with you my tales of frustration during the last 7 months after starting the divorce process and moving out. This past Weds, went to court and had my marriage legally dissolved. Once the judge had the paperwork, it took maybe 10 minutes to end a 30 year marriage. Still can't quite believe it. Hardest part is getting used to thinking, saying, and writing my maiden name which I reclaimed as part of the divorce agreement. I've many fond memories and few regrets. He's been fairly amiable thru the whole thing tho the big fly in the ointment that may cause the maintenance issue to need to be reconsidered is the fact that he'll be laid off possibly soon after the beginning of 2013. So, I'm being open to the reality that he may not be able to make 72 payments. For now, tho, enjoying not having to consult and/or argue with him about everything.

Thanks for listening and just for being a GB friend.
puppy yes
Life's a puzzle; one piece at a time.

#854724 - 12/08/12 02:30 PM Re: Single Again [Re: butterflybabe]
BrownEyedTigre Online   happy
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 75356
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
On to a new chapter in your life. May it be full of amazing new adventures and peace within.

Ana hearts
Don't feed the Trolls

#854735 - 12/08/12 03:52 PM Re: Single Again [Re: butterflybabe]
Draclvr Offline
Hints & Glitches forum Moderator
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/03/05
Posts: 13229
Loc: In Missouri near St. Louis
I can't express myself any better than Ana did. Now that it's over, you can concentrate on your new life and adventures!
Heading out to the gardens...

#854764 - 12/08/12 06:36 PM Re: Single Again [Re: butterflybabe]
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 47570
Loc: Alabama
Hugs to you and a big thumbsup for the next exciting chapter in the adventure of your life. wave12

Edited by looney4labs (12/08/12 06:36 PM)
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

#854772 - 12/08/12 07:48 PM Re: Single Again [Re: butterflybabe]
LadyKestrel Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 10/08/03
Posts: 9829
Loc: The Garden State
All my wishes to you, Butterflybabe!
I acted my age once. It was boring.

#854779 - 12/08/12 09:00 PM Re: Single Again [Re: butterflybabe]
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 9561
Loc: San Diego, CA
Having been through 2 divorces, you can take my advice and consider this an opportunity to reclaim your sanity and happiness. My first was 20 years, second 5 1/2 but both still stressful to end and I couldn't help feeling like I failed.

After I got used to sleeping alone in an all too quiet house, I finally figured out the perks of being single. YOU get the TV remote all to yourself, you can eat anything anytime you want, you don't have to watch what HE wants on TV, you don't have dirty laundry all over the house, you can make all the decisions on what to buy and shop for hours and hours and bring home stuff he would never 'approve'. Enjoy your freedom, but remember all the 'good times' of those 30 years. There must have been many. Don't let the last few ruin all you accomplished.

Be happy, and hey, now you can flirt with all the men you want without feeling guilty! thumbsup12
WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.

#854840 - 12/09/12 03:41 AM Re: Single Again [Re: Sorta Blonde]
cailyn Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 01/08/06
Posts: 6145
Loc: Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
When one door closes another one opens!Best of luck to you wave12
I may not have gone where I intended to go,but I think I have ended up where I need to be.


#854841 - 12/09/12 03:44 AM Re: Single Again [Re: Sorta Blonde]
Niki Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 10/30/11
Posts: 4624
Loc: UK
Butterflybabe, what the others have said yes

I wish you happiness catrub
What are we? Women - What do we want? We don't know - When do we want it? Now

#854851 - 12/09/12 05:39 AM Re: Single Again [Re: butterflybabe]
Kaki's Sister Offline
True Blue Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 22789
Loc: Marlborough USA
Butterflybabe I wish you the best on your next journey in life. Be happy!

#854872 - 12/09/12 08:20 AM Re: Single Again [Re: Kaki's Sister]
Gimli Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 06/15/05
Posts: 2315
Loc: Switzerland
I wish you also a wonderful new start in your life Butterflybabe yes

I had to laugh about what Sorta said what you now can do. I'am with my hubby for 30 years now and we never had a quarrel about the TV remote control.... because..... we never had a TV in the first place snicker

Happy Sunday my friends!

"You ask me what life is. That's like asking me what a carrot is. A carrot is a carrot is a carrot" (A. Chekhov)

#854884 - 12/09/12 09:38 AM Re: Single Again [Re: Gimli]
SharonB Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 01/23/09
Posts: 1190
Loc: Delaware, USA
Best wishes to you ButterflyBabe. thumbsup12
luck on your new adventures! wink12

#854936 - 12/09/12 11:19 AM Re: Single Again [Re: SharonB]
Mad Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 11/21/00
Posts: 28112
Loc: United Kingdom
Hugs and best wishes to you, butterflybabe luck
Time : The Most Precious Commodity

#854962 - 12/09/12 12:27 PM Re: Single Again [Re: butterflybabe]
butterflybabe Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 07/27/05
Posts: 2246
Loc: IL - All Cities
Thanks for all of your good wishes and, yes, I do have many fond memories. I do hope that, at some point in the future, he and I will be able to be friends. Even after court, when going to the bank to take care of a transaction, he shared info re: a private joke and had me laughing. It may be that we'll enjoy each other's company more now that we're not married. He comes across as a sweet, kind, caring man which he is yet there are conditions that I didn't understand/realize until much later in our marriage.

Sorta, I feel sad that 2 divorces have left you feeling as tho you failed. Remember, that it takes two. If you've not been able to figure out what went wrong, maybe it wasn't you. Being by myself for the first time in my life has been heaven since I don't have to answer or compromise, consider any one else but me. My diet has changed drastically since I can decide wht I want to eat and when. Not always the most nutritious but I'm giving myself that leeway for now. Ironically, picking up after him was never an issue nor was I a 'sports wife'. Compared to him I'm a slob, which I'm not, just more relaxed. I don't have a problem with people visiting if I haven't cleaned up so everything is brand spanking shiny, etc. Our problem issues derived from lack of substantial communitation. We tried everything until he stopped cooperating and it became obvious he was doing many things just to pacify me. Not the kind of man/relationship I want. Things started to disintegrate about 2 yrs ago when my mom was experiencing her own death journey. It took her 6 months and I felt little support from him. I guess he just didn't have it to give after having spent 7 yrs dealing with his own mom's slow decline which I helped him with all the way. I've come to understand that after living almost 30 yrs with my dad, a verbally abusive alcoholic; tho I didn't realize it at the time, I married the opposite, a quiet man with food issues which I later came to understand is another kind of abuse, that of silence. So, now, the only voice I listen to is my heart, and those who support rather than negatively question or cut me down for my ideas and/or feelings.

Yet, it doesn't hurt any less. Tomorrow, I meet the movers at the resident I give to my ex and my belongings will be relocated to a storage facility until I find my next home.
I look forward to living with my own decor and making a home just for me to embrace who I am without parents, family and church. Visitors are most welcome.
Life's a puzzle; one piece at a time.

#854980 - 12/09/12 12:57 PM Re: Single Again [Re: butterflybabe]
Darleen03 Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 12/13/03
Posts: 15022
Loc: Northeast NJ

Wishing you the Best of luck... My prayers for all the Best on your new journey ahead..

Hugs kissy12
Luv Dar

"Games Are More Enticing Because Of Our "MaG"nificent Efficient Radiant Site"

#855003 - 12/09/12 02:03 PM Re: Single Again [Re: butterflybabe]
Lotus777 Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 03/12/06
Posts: 3281
Loc: Oregon
Yes, a new beginning with much education in between. I wish for you a wonderful future of happiness and peace. wave12
Life is like a hot bath. It feels good while you’re in it, but the longer you stay in, the more wrinkled you get.


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