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#855425 - 12/11/12 01:26 AM Tuesday All day
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 32194
Loc: Calera, Oklahoma
"Friendship improves happiness, and abates misery, by doubling our joys, and dividing our grief."
Joseph Addison

California Vinters in the Napa Valley area. which primarily produces Pinot Blanc, Pinot Noir and Pinot Griglo wines have developed a new hybrid grape that acts as an anti-diuretic. It is expected to reduce the number of trips older people have to make to the bathroom during the night.

The new wine will be marketed as Pino More

Q. When is a retiree's bedtime?
A. Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

Q. How many retirees does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Only one, but it might take all day.

Q. What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
A. There is not enough time to get everything done.

Q. Why don't retirees mind being called senior citizens?
A. The term comes with a 10% discount.

Q. Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
A. Tied shoes.

Q. Why do retirees count pennies?
A. They are the only ones who have the time.

Q. What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?

Q. Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?
A. They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.

Q. What do retirees call a long lunch?
A. Normal

Q. What is the best way to describe retirement?
A. The never-ending Coffee Break.

Q. What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
A. If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.

Q. Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with?
A. He is too polite to tell the whole truth.

An elderly couple was attending church services when about halfway through she leans over and says to him, "I just had a silent passing of gas, what do you think I should do?"

He leans over to her and replies, "Put a new battery in your hearing aid..."

On the first day, God created the dog and said: "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years." The dog said: "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?"

So God agreed.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said: "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span." The monkey said: "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?"

And God agreed.

On the third day, God created the cow and said: "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years." The cow said: "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"

And God agreed again.

On the fourth day, God created man and said: "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years." But man said: "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"

"Okay," said God, "You asked for it."

So that is why the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.

I guess I'm ready to sit on the porch and start barking.

People already think I'm barking mad. taz

After all Baby chases cows, and I chase them too. lol12

Good morning everyboomie. santadance

Your friendly neighborhood diner front man here. welcome

Time to flip the old hour glass and begin a promising new day. penguin

If I had a sledge hammer I think I might just smash the old hour glass.

Unfortunately it wouldn't change a thing. You can't stop progress.

I know. I tried it with my alarm clock already. smirk

It stopped my alarm clock, but it didn't stop time. duh12

Ah well. All swell that end swell. snicker

Have a happy day everyone.


Edited by gymcandy1 (12/11/12 01:28 AM)
There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats

#855426 - 12/11/12 02:25 AM Re: Tuesday All day [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 10027
Loc: Greece
Goodmorning Joe and all who follow later santadance
Have all a happy day wave12
I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

#855432 - 12/11/12 03:15 AM Re: Tuesday All day [Re: Haroula]
Gimli Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 06/15/05
Posts: 2315
Loc: Switzerland
Good morning Boomies!

Oh Joe, I wanted to smash hour glasses in my life by the millions already.... crazy

Lotus: how's your Mum doing? Tell her to get well soonest kissy12

Haroula: what's the weather like in Greece? It's bitter cold here in Switzerland.

Busy day today (again), so I guess I see you all again in the evening or then tomorrow.

Have a happy day Boomies!

"You ask me what life is. That's like asking me what a carrot is. A carrot is a carrot is a carrot" (A. Chekhov)

#855434 - 12/11/12 03:37 AM Re: Tuesday All day [Re: Gimli]
cailyn Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 01/08/06
Posts: 6145
Loc: Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
Good morning Joe,Haroula,Evelyne,and all who pop in later wave12The temp here is 57 nice to not have to turn the heat on happydance12But I will get the coffee going have a happy day everyone puppy
I may not have gone where I intended to go,but I think I have ended up where I need to be.


#855444 - 12/11/12 04:41 AM Re: Tuesday All day [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
True Blue Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 22793
Loc: Marlborough USA
happydance12 Good Morning Joe, Haroula, Gimli and Cailyn. Joe you are timeless! Haroula enjoy your day. Gimli hope your day is not to busy. Cailyn gotta have my coffee in the morning Thank you. Happy Day All! happydance12

#855450 - 12/11/12 05:02 AM Re: Tuesday All day [Re: gymcandy1]
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 18262
Loc: Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Joe, have a swell day!

Haroula, wishing you a great day!

Evelyne, stay warm.

Cailyn, I'm in desperate need of coffee. Thank you. Doesn't feel like Christmas weather does it?

Gerry, whatever plans you have I hope you enjoy them.

Like the warmer weather but getting sick of the rain. mad12

#855452 - 12/11/12 05:07 AM Re: Tuesday All day [Re: gymcandy1]
venus Offline
Staff Reviewer
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 03/07/09
Posts: 7734
Loc: Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Hello and goodbye Part 3. grin12 wave12
Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?

#855454 - 12/11/12 05:21 AM Re: Tuesday All day [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
True Blue Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 22793
Loc: Marlborough USA
smile12 Good Morning GBC and venus. Hope all is well with you GBC. The rain is dismal for sure. Venus slow down! You're going to ware yourself out! Enjoy the Day! smile12

#855458 - 12/11/12 06:53 AM Re: Tuesday All day [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 10257
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. Not sure what's on the agenda for the day yet. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Tuesday. Tomorrow is oldest son's 50th Birthday. Boy, that makes me old. eek12 Danish, Pancakes, and Muffins in the NC. santadance

#855488 - 12/11/12 09:28 AM Re: Tuesday All day [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 47574
Loc: Alabama
Terrific Tuesday ya'll puppy

I'm up early as I have to head out in a bit to do some errands. We are supposed to barely make it to 50 today, and that is a maybe. That means I'll have to wear jeans instead of shorts while out and about running around. I'm going to get one more cup of coffee first though. wave12
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

#855494 - 12/11/12 09:58 AM Re: Tuesday All day [Re: looney4labs]
Darlene Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 02/10/00
Posts: 10371
Loc: Southern California
wave12 Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Hope your Tuesday is happy all day!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
Woohoo and booyah! smile Have an easy peasy day!

#855498 - 12/11/12 10:30 AM Re: Tuesday All day [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 14623
Loc: northern Wisconsin
Joe thanks for the chuckles! lol12 Hope that work flies and goes well.

Haroula it is cold here too. Was only 9F when me and Sassy went walking. Have a nice day!

Cailyn thanks for the coffee! Have a nice day!

Gerry are you still walking outdoors? Have a nice day!

venus hope work is fun and.....happy whoooooshing!

Evelyne hope that some of your busy day is fun!! Have a nice day!

Gail enjoy the warmer temps. It could snow! lol12 Have a lovely day!

Connie birthday to your oldest tomorrow!! Have a lovely day!

L4l hope you are feeling better. How is the eye doing?? Have fun with the errands!!

Darlene may work fly and all go smoothly!!

No plans here....yet. lol12


#855515 - 12/11/12 12:20 PM Re: Tuesday All day [Re: gymcandy1]
Yankee Clipper Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 08/27/04
Posts: 2402
Loc: Lexington, Texas
Brrr another coldcoldcold day/night comming up but tomorrow is warm -can't wait. Right now the sun is warm and bright and the pets are all stretched out in it.

Another doggy crisis last night. Trina's mouth was bleeding and she limped on front right leg. Oh my, Trina, what's wrong. Animals are smart though. She stayed out half the night and in all the cold too, but this AM she's almost 100% like eating and running around. She must understand "go to the vet". I'll keep watch.

I need a new shooter -any suggestions?

Yuuuum hot tea and honey after 2 cups hot coffee and milk. Yup all caffiened up so now on to chores.

Happy Tuesday all
I wish I were a cat and belonged to me ~ My Aunt Helen Mary Rose

#855518 - 12/11/12 12:50 PM Re: Tuesday All day [Re: Yankee Clipper]
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 32194
Loc: Calera, Oklahoma
Good moaning everybody. wave12

I stayed up way too late last night. tired

It's a very very abundantly sunny today, and I've been surfing and having my coffee and biding my time. I work at 2:00.

I'll be heading over to Mom's in a little bit. wink12

I hope you guys have a super day. thumbsup12

I'm off tomorrow and Thursday Woo Hoo! woot

santa joe
There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats

#855526 - 12/11/12 01:59 PM Re: Tuesday All day [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 47574
Loc: Alabama
Well, busy day so far. Went out and bought myself a "HappyBirthday" and "MerryChristmas" present. Then had to come home and set it up. Daughter called a couple of times...drama continues and I swear I'm going to turn all the phones off!

It is Not Hot in Al today. It would be beautiful except it's Not....grey skies and windy windy windy :eek: I hate wind!

Also doing laundry and a little cleaning. puppy
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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