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#855942 - 12/13/12 12:34 AM Thursdiner
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 29945
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
"It is difficult to say who do you the most mischief: enemies with the worst intentions or friends with the best." --
E. R. Bulwer-Lytton
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in. Jacob addresses the man behind the counter: "Are you the owner?"

The pharmacist answers "Yes".

Jacob: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?"

Pharmacist: "Of course we do."

Jacob: "How about medicine for circulation?"

Pharmacist: "All kinds."

Jacob: "Medicine for rheumatism, scoliosis? "

Pharmacist: "Definitely."

Jacob: "How about Viagra?"

Pharmacist: "Of course."

Jacob: "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, Jaundice?"

Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety. The works."

Jacob: "What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson's disease?"

Pharmacist: "Absolutely."

Jacob: "You sell wheelchairs and walkers?"

Pharmacist: "All speeds and sizes."

Jacob says to the pharmacist: "Good, we'd like to use this store as our Bridal Registry!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Senior Personal Ads


FOXY LADY: Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty, 80's, slim, 5'4" (used to be 5'6"), searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing companion. Matching white shoes and belt a plus.

LONG-TERM COMMITMENT: Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband, and am looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot. Dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath not a problem.

SERENITY NOW: I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, yoga and meditation. If you are the silent type, let's get together, take our hearing aids out and enjoy quiet times.

WINNING SMILE: Active grandmother with original teeth seeking a dedicated! flosser to share rare steaks, corn on the cob and caramel candy.

BEATLES OR STONES? I still like to rock, still like to cruise in my Camaro on Saturday nights and still like to play the guitar. If you were a groovy chick, or are now a groovy hen, let's get together and listen to my eight-track tapes.

MEMORIES: I can usually remember Monday through Thursday. If you can remember Friday, Saturday and Sunday, let's put our two heads together.

MINT CONDITION: Male, 1932, high mileage, good condition, some hair, many new parts including hip, knee, cornea, valves. Isn't in running condition, but walks well.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A man worked in a post office. His job was to process all mail that had illegible addresses. One day a letter came to his desk, addressed in a shaky handwriting to God. He thought, "I better open this one and see what it's all about." So he opened it and it read:

"Dear God, I am an 83 year old widow living on a very small pension. Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had a hundred dollars in it which was all the money I had until my next pension check." "Next Sunday is Easter, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with." "I have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope. Can you please help me?"

The postal worker was touched, and went around showing the letter to all the others. Each of them dug into his wallet and came up with a few dollars. By the time he made the rounds, he had collected 96 dollars, which they put into an envelope and sent over to her. The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of the nice thing they had done. Easter came and went, and a few days later came another letter from the old lady to God. All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened.
It read:

"Dear God, How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me?" "Because of your generosity, I was able to fix a lovely dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day, and I told my friends of your wonderful gift. " "By the way, there was 4 dollars missing. It was no doubt those thieving b------s at the post office."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"OLD" IS WHEN... Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Pick one, I can't do both!"

"OLD" IS WHEN.. Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.

"OLD" IS WHEN.... A sexy babe catches your eye and your pacemaker opens the garage door.

"OLD" IS WHEN... Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

"OLD" IS WHEN. You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

"OLD" IS WHEN..... You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.

"OLD" IS WHEN..... "Getting a little action" means I don't need to take any fiber today.

"OLD" IS WHEN..... "Getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot.

"OLD" IS WHEN..... An "all-nighter" means not getting up to pee.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie.  wave12

How is everyone doing today?

I haven't looked in the mirror yet, so I don't know how I'm doing. rolleyes12

Either I'm still alive or or muscle cramps and joint pain don't improve much after death.  zombie

I may have to wait until next payday to know for sure.

They say nothing is certain but death and taxes, so if taxes are held out of my check I'll know......for certain.  wink12

There is one thing that kinda makes me think I'm still probably in Oklahoma. 

I hear cows mooing.  taz

Of course that could mean something else, but I'm not even going to consider that possibility. 

Have a heavenly happy day everyone. rah

joe

I almost positive they don't have computers in Heaven anyway. 

Cursing is not allowed.  taz
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#855962 - 12/13/12 02:46 AM Re: Thursdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 7485
Loc: Greece
Good morning boomers,the sun is out happydance12
Have all a nice day santadance wave12
_________________________

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.



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#855969 - 12/13/12 04:16 AM Re: Thursdiner [Re: Haroula]
cailyn Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 01/08/06
Posts: 6010
Loc: Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
Good morning Joe,Haroula,and all who pop in later santa Going for a blood test this morning a routine one,so there's no coffee for me yet frown12But I'll keep it hot for who ever needs some,have a great day every body happydance12
_________________________
I may not have gone where I intended to go,but I think I have ended up where I need to be.

Sue

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#855972 - 12/13/12 04:46 AM Re: Thursdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 16871
Loc: Marlborough USA
wave12 Good Morning Joe, Haroula and Cailyn. Joe happy day off. Haroula glad to here the sun is shinning for you. Cailyn thinking of you. Hope all is well. Wishing you all a sunny day! wave12
_________________________
Gerry

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#855981 - 12/13/12 05:42 AM Re: Thursdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
GBC Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 14245
Loc: Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Joe, funny. rotfl12

Haroula, glad you have the sun.

Cailyn, take a coffee to go and drink it when you're done.

Gerry, hope your day is good.

To all who enter I'm wishing a happy day!

Cold out this morning. shiver I'll be walking the dogs then don't know what the day holds in store. Maybe a BJ's trip.
_________________________
Gail

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#855992 - 12/13/12 06:54 AM Re: Thursdiner [Re: GBC]
cailyn Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 01/08/06
Posts: 6010
Loc: Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
Hi Gail and Gerry wave12Back from the test now drinking coffeeBj's trip for me also Gail santa
_________________________
I may not have gone where I intended to go,but I think I have ended up where I need to be.

Sue

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#856001 - 12/13/12 08:01 AM Re: Thursdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 7982
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. Not sure what's on the agenda for the day yet. To all here and all that follow, have a Super Thursday. Danish and Hot Chocolate in the NC. santadance
_________________________
Connie

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#856002 - 12/13/12 08:10 AM Re: Thursdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 03/07/09
Posts: 5329
Loc: Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
lol12 Have a terrific day, Joe.

Glad the sun is out, Haroula. smile12

Hope the blood test goes well today, Cailyn.

Have a terrific Thursday, Gerry.

Stay warm, Gail. shiver Have fun at BJ's if you go.

Thanks for breakfast, Connie. thumbsup12

I'm off today. happydance12 It's my only day off this week, so I have to enjoy it while I can. grin12

Fiance and I started replaying Gray Matter last night. We might play some more before he has to go to work, as his hours are odd a couple of days every week during the holidays.

As for the rest of the day, I have no plans yet. I'll probably find a game to play. thumbsup12

Hope everyone here has a great Thursday. wave12

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#856041 - 12/13/12 10:02 AM Re: Thursdiner [Re: venus]
Darlene Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/10/00
Posts: 9301
Loc: Southern California
wave12 Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Have a heavenly happy day as well!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
_________________________
You become what you think about. Change your thoughts, change your life. - Dko

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#856058 - 12/13/12 10:34 AM Re: Thursdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 13525
Loc: northern Wisconsin
Joe thanks for the laughs and enjoy the day!!

Haroula have a lovely day!

Cailyn and Gerry have a lovely day!!

venus enjoy the time off and the gaming!!

Gail have a nice walk with the dogs. It is nice out today. No sun but no wind and the temp has reached the mid 20's with a little snow falling. Sassy loved her walk.

Connie have fun whatever you do!! Thanks for the treats.

Darlene may work fly and all go smoothly!!

Off to run a few errands.

wave12
Nan

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#856071 - 12/13/12 11:05 AM Re: Thursdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Online   happy
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 64466
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Good morning boomies. I have a pounding head from grinding my teeth all night and I have a million things to do. :sad12: It will be a long day.

Off to the post office and what seems a dozen other shops to finish the odds and ends I need for Saturday. I still need to decorate the tree also, we finally got it cut and put up last night and the lights are on but that's it.

My highlight will be a long walk in the woods when I get done.

I hope you all have a great day!
_________________________
How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

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#856081 - 12/13/12 11:44 AM Re: Thursdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 7078
Loc: San Diego, CA
It's finally RAINING! We actually have real, measurable rain here. Wheeeee! Can't go for my morning walk unless it lets up and it's been a slow and steady rain since midnight. Neat for all my grass (or lack of it) and my trees (which are looking very sad). Love it, however the outdoorsies are getting breakfast late since it's not nice to tempt them with food when they have to get soaked to eat it. Dry food is there under an umbrella, so they won't starve. Just have to wait out the dripping sky for the real feeding of the coveted canned food.

Finally am getting most of my programs to work on my newish computer. Amazing how fast it runs. I'm in heaven. Just have to make all the 'settings' like I am used to on the old one. Tons of stuff to figure out, but it's going to be great for gaming.

Off to check on the RAIN.
_________________________
WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.

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#856094 - 12/13/12 01:13 PM Re: Thursdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42090
Loc: Alabama
Morning gang wave12

The morning has been insane. I'm counting on a quieter afternoon. puppy
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#856120 - 12/13/12 02:32 PM Re: Thursdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
Lotus777 Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 03/12/06
Posts: 3270
Loc: Oregon
Hi Everyone! Just a fast one as it is busy, busy around here. It was 30* this and Jack Frost was very busy painting all of the window panes. Hubby is still rebuilding his shop, a little at a time. The saddest part is he must tear out my twenty year old lilac that I planted from a start I got for a friend's bush. Boohoo...it was so pretty int he Spring. I'm off to hopefully make some pumpkin fudge for the kids in the family. Happy Gaming!! wave12
_________________________
Lotus
Life is like a hot bath. It feels good while you’re in it, but the longer you stay in, the more wrinkled you get.

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#856130 - 12/13/12 03:36 PM Re: Thursdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Online   happy
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 64466
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Still running like a chicken with her head cut off but I just got back from a walk in the woods to make the dogs happy and try and calm my pounding head. It didn't work but at least I feel a bit more relaxed.

Are we having fun yet?
_________________________
How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

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