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#856183 - 12/13/12 06:58 PM TGIF
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 30107
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
"Plodding wins the race." Aesop
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Six retired Floridians were playing poker in the condo clubhouse when Meyerwitz loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest, and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five continue playing standing up.

Finkelstein looks around and asks, "So, who's gonna tell his wife?" They cut cards. Goldberg picks the two of clubs and has to carry the news. They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don't make a bad situation any worse.

"Discreet? I'm the most discreet person you'll ever meet. Discretion is my middle name. Leave it to me."

Goldberg goes over to the Meyerwitz apartment and knocks on the door. The wife answers thru the door and asks what he wants? Goldberg declares: "Your husband just lost $500 in a Poker game and is afraid to come home.

"Tell him to drop dead!" yells the wife.

"I'll go tell him." says Goldberg
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is a true story..

An elderly Florida lady did her shopping, and upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her voice, I have a gun, and I know how to use it! Get out of the car!

The four men didn't wait for a second invitation. They got out and ran like mad.

The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver's seat. She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition. She tried and tried, and then it dawned on her why. A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down. She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the Police station. The sergeant to whom she told the story couldn't stop laughing. He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale men were reporting a car- jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun. No charges were filed.

AH, SENIOR MOMENTS
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

John went to visit his 90 year old grandfather in a very secluded, rural area of Georgia.

After spending a great evening chatting the night away, John's grandfather prepared breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast. However, John noticed a film like substance on his plate, and questioned his grandfather asking, "Are these plates clean?"

His grandfather replied, "They're as clean as cold water can get them. Just you go ahead and finish your meal, Sonny!"

For lunch the old man made hamburgers. Again, John was concerned about the plates as his appeared to have tiny specks around the edge that looked like dried egg and asked, "Are you sure these plates are clean?"

Without looking up the old man said, "I told you before, Sonny, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them. Now don't you fret, I don't want to hear another word about it!"

Later that afternoon, John was on his way to a nearby town and as he was leaving, his grandfather's dog started to growl, and wouldn't let him pass. John yelled and said, "Grandfather, your dog won't let me get to my car".

Without diverting his attention from the football game he was watching on TV, the old man shouted ... "COLDWATER, GO LAY DOWN!!!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie.  santadance

gymcandy here, coming to you live from Mom's. bravo12

Live but very very tired. tired

I can barely stay awake.  tired

So..

I hope you all have a fantastic Friday.  wink12

Whenever Friday gets here that is. 

I know it will be all toooo early for me at 3:30am. shocked

In the mean time, or the nice time if you don't want mean, have a super Thursday evening!  thumbsup12

I'm outta here.  sleep12



joe
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#856185 - 12/13/12 07:05 PM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
BobH Online   content
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 10/14/11
Posts: 1888
Loc: 47.79N, 122.24W
Good jokes today Joe! Especially liked the Car-jacking and Coldwater ones.

Feels strange to say good morning as I have not left work yet. I have "tomorrow", Friday, off so my long weekend starts when I get out of here.

Good morning to Joe and all that come.
_________________________
Bob
I've learned that if you're too busy to help a friend, you're too busy.

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#856199 - 12/13/12 08:53 PM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
SharonB Offline
Settled Boomer

Registered: 01/23/09
Posts: 934
Loc: Delaware, USA
Great Jokes, Joe! rotfl12 The car one really had me laughing.

It's not Friday yet, but in the morning I will be doing laundry. That is my priority for the day.

Have a great Friday GameBoomers! hearts

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#856207 - 12/13/12 09:39 PM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 03/07/09
Posts: 5612
Loc: Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Have a terrific day Joe, BobH, SharonB and all who come in after me. wave12

It's late Thursday night for me as well, but I figured I may as well post now just in case I don't have time in the morning. I have to get up at 3:30 tomorrow morning for work. Not fun, but at least it means I get off earlier. grin12

Okay, off to sleep now. sleep12

Have a terrific Friday, everyone. santa

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#856236 - 12/14/12 12:22 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 65494
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Good morning Joe, Bob, Sharon and Venus! yay12

It will be a busy and fun day filled with nieces and nephews.

I hope you all have a happy day!

Ana wave12
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#856247 - 12/14/12 02:46 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 7965
Loc: Greece
Good morning Joe, Bob, Sharon,Venus,Ana
and all who follow wave12
Have all a nice day santadance
_________________________

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.



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#856250 - 12/14/12 03:59 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 03/07/09
Posts: 5612
Loc: Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Have fun, Ana. happydance12

Have a great day, Haroula. smile12

Well, it's work whoosh time. Hope everyone has a terrific Friday. wave12

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#856252 - 12/14/12 04:24 AM Re: TGIF [Re: venus]
cailyn Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 01/08/06
Posts: 6070
Loc: Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
Good morning Boomers santaSo glad it's Friday happydance12I hope everyone has a great day!!Coffee is brewing santa12
_________________________
I may not have gone where I intended to go,but I think I have ended up where I need to be.

Sue

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#856256 - 12/14/12 05:05 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 17465
Loc: Marlborough USA
happydance12 Good Morning Joe, BobH, SharonB, venus, Ana, Haroula and Cailyn. Sounds like every is organized for the day! Enjoy All! happydance12
_________________________
Gerry

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#856271 - 12/14/12 06:58 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 8160
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. Not sure what's on for the day yet. To all here and all who follow, have a Great TGIF. Danish, Banana Nut Bread, and Bacon Sandwiches in the NC. happydance12
_________________________
Connie

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#856273 - 12/14/12 07:27 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
GBC Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 14694
Loc: Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Hello to everyone! Need coffee and Danish.

Got a few errands to run this morning after a nice walk with the dogs.

Wishing everyone a super good day! Be back later on. penguin
_________________________
Gail

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#856306 - 12/14/12 09:54 AM Re: TGIF [Re: GBC]
Darlene Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/10/00
Posts: 9440
Loc: Southern California
wave12 Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! A very early morning for you. Hope your day goes easy peasy!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Cold and rainy here....

Son and DIL have company Christmas party this evening, so we have our grandbabies! yay12

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
_________________________
You become what you think about. Change your thoughts, change your life. - Dko

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#856318 - 12/14/12 10:43 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
Space Quest Fan Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 9644
Loc: Columbus,Ohio USA
Good morning Boomers.
_________________________
It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

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#856321 - 12/14/12 10:55 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 13750
Loc: northern Wisconsin
Joe I remember those early morning wakeups but it has been awhile now. One day you will be able to sleep in. Thanks for the laughs this morning. Best way to start the day....laughing.

Bob how nice to have a three day weekend....enjoy!

Haroula have a nice day!

venus may work fly and go well.

wave12 Cailyn, Gerry, Gail(have a wonderful walk and fun with the errands), Connie(thanks for the treats and have a fun day whatever you do).

Darlene enjoy those grandbabies as they grow up sooooo fast! lol12 May work fly and all go smoothly!!

Ana enjoy all the company and the fun filled weekend!!! Happy you know what!! grin12

Space have a lovely day!

No plans till taxi time.

wave12
Nan

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#856325 - 12/14/12 11:09 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42505
Loc: Alabama
Fantastic Friday ya'll puppy

I'm running late. We set 2 alarm clocks last night but I managed not to hear either. Off to take Keoki to the vet for his yearly visit.

Who is going to see the Hobbit? Hubby, son, and I are going to join the throngs tonight. wave12
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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