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#860239 - 01/04/13 12:28 AM Friday On My Mind
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 30022
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
"We may run, walk, stumble, drive, or fly, but let us never lost sight of the reason for the journey, or miss a chance to see a rainbow on the way." --
Gloria Gaither
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

IF AIRLINES SOLD PAINT . . .

Customer: Hi. How much is your paint?
Clerk: Well, sir, that all depends on quite a lot of things.

Customer: Can you give me a guess? Is there an average price?
Clerk: Our lowest price is $12 a gallon, and we have 60 different prices up to $200 a gallon.

Customer: What's the difference in the paint?
Clerk: Oh, there isn't any difference; it's all the same paint.

Customer: Well, then I'd like some of that $12 paint.
Clerk: When do you intend to use the paint?

Customer: I want to paint tomorrow. It's my day off.
Clerk: Sir, the paint for tomorrow is the $200 paint.

Customer: When would I have to paint to get the $12 paint?
Clerk: You would have to start very late at night in about 3 weeks. But you will have to agree to start painting before Friday of that week and continue painting until at least Sunday.

Customer: You've got to be *&%^#@* kidding!
Clerk: I'll check and see if we have any paint available.

Customer: You have shelves FULL of paint! I can see it!
Clerk: But it doesn't mean that we have paint available. We sell only a certain number of gallons on any given weekend. Oh, and by the way, the price per gallon just went to $16. We don't have any more $12 paint.

Customer: The price went up as we were talking?
Clerk: Yes, sir. We change the prices and rules hundreds of times a day, and since you haven't actually walked out of the store with your paint yet, we just decided to change. I suggest you purchase your paint as soon as possible. How many gallons do you want?

Customer: Well, maybe five gallons. Make that six, so I'll have enough.
Clerk: Oh no, sir, you can't do that. If you buy paint and don't use it, there are penalties and possible confiscation of the paint you already have.

Customer: WHAT?
Clerk: We can sell enough paint to do your kitchen, bathroom, hall and north bedroom, but if you stop painting before you do the bedroom, you will lose your remaining gallons of paint.

Customer: What does it matter whether I use all the paint? I already paid you for it!
Clerk: We make plans based upon the idea that all our paint is used, every drop. If you don't, it causes us all sorts of problems.

Customer: This is crazy!! I suppose something terrible happens if I don't keep painting until after Saturday night!
Clerk: Oh yes! Every gallon you bought automatically becomes the $200 paint.

Customer: But what are all these, "Paint on sale from $10 a liter" signs?
Clerk: Well that's for our budget paint. It only comes in half-gallons. One $5 half-gallon will do half a room. The second half-gallon to complete the room is $20. None of the cans have labels, some are empty and there are no refunds, even on the empty cans.

Customer: To hell with this! I'll buy what I need somewhere else!
Clerk: I don't think so, sir. You may be able to buy paint for your bathroom and bedrooms, and your kitchen and dining room from someone else, but you won't be able to paint your connecting hall and stairway from anyone but us. And I should point out, sir, that if you paint in only one direction, it will be $300 a gallon.

Customer: I thought your most expensive paint was $200!
Clerk: That's if you paint around the room to the point at which you started. A hallway is different.

Customer: And if I buy $200 paint for the hall, but only paint in one direction, you'll confiscate the remaining paint.
Clerk: No, we'll charge you an extra use fee plus the difference on your next gallon of paint. But I believe you're getting it now, sir.

Customer: You're insane!
Clerk: Thanks for painting with United.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Put-Downs

Roses are red, violets are blue, I once thought I was ugly, until I saw you!

Just because you have one doesn't mean you have to act like one!

A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't.

Men's brains are like the prison system - not enough cells.

Stupidity does not qualify as a handicap, park elsewhere!

You have a right to your opinions. I just don't want to hear them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie!  wave12

Anybody want some paint for breakfast?  woot

Would you like bacon or sausage with it? 

That'll be $200 please.  grinch

Thank you for your contribution to the gymcandy retirement fund. urock

Hey everybody IT'S FRIDAY!!  penguin

This particular Friday is particularly awesome because I am off of work. woot

There's is however not much in particular for me to do today, because it is particularly cold outside, and we're supposed to be having some frozen particulate falling. shiver

If you're not doing anything in particular, come on over and we can be particularly bored together. tired

Have a happy day everyone.

joe
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#860250 - 01/04/13 03:41 AM Re: Friday On My Mind [Re: gymcandy1]
cailyn Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 01/08/06
Posts: 6043
Loc: Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
Good morning Joe wave12It's quiet in here this morning everyone must be lucky and still be sleeping!Coffe ia ready it goes with Joe's paint with bacon,happy Friday all happydance12
_________________________
I may not have gone where I intended to go,but I think I have ended up where I need to be.

Sue

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#860253 - 01/04/13 04:52 AM Re: Friday On My Mind [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 17144
Loc: Marlborough USA
winter shiver Good Morning Joe and Cailyn. Joe how about some gaming to ease the boredom! Cailyn I think the cold is keeping everyone away! Happy Day all! shiver winter
_________________________
Gerry

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#860256 - 01/04/13 05:38 AM Re: Friday On My Mind [Re: gymcandy1]
Midge Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 04/30/00
Posts: 14633
Loc: Massachusetts
Good morning. Br-r-r-r it's cold out there. shiver Working this morning. Drinking my tea while I type. Thanks Joe for your openers. Hi Sue and Gerry. See you guys later. Have a good day.

Midgie hearts
_________________________
Just do it.

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#860268 - 01/04/13 06:46 AM Re: Friday On My Mind [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 8067
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. We need to go to CVS to pick up our meds sometime today. Rainy and quite cool here today. To all here and all who follow, have a Great TGIF. Danish, Apple Turnovers, and Donuts in the NC. Crunchy Donut Holes for L4L. winter
_________________________
Connie

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#860276 - 01/04/13 08:01 AM Re: Friday On My Mind [Re: connie]
Gimli Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 06/15/05
Posts: 2314
Loc: Switzerland
Good morning! (Afternoon here)

Just wanted to say hello and to tell you that the ceramics course is wonderful, the teacher great and the group is wonderful too. Americans, Australians, Italians, Germans and a Swiss Girl (me). All women... You can imagine the chattering....

Hope everything is all right at your end of the world. Weather fine here in Tuscany and the wine.... mmmhhhhhh... sooo good.

Hope to see you soon again. Love from

Evelyne
_________________________
"You ask me what life is. That's like asking me what a carrot is. A carrot is a carrot is a carrot" (A. Chekhov)

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#860298 - 01/04/13 10:02 AM Re: Friday On My Mind [Re: Gimli]
Darlene Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/10/00
Posts: 9365
Loc: Southern California
winter Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Hope you find something wonderfully exciting to do on your day off! Happy Friday!

Evelyne, I'm jealous! Wine in Tuscany... yes

Hey, Ana! Thanks for asking after Mum. She's doing OK, but she's becoming more fragile as time passes... hearts

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Easy peasy weekend planned...

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
_________________________
You become what you think about. Change your thoughts, change your life. - Dko

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#860301 - 01/04/13 10:15 AM Re: Friday On My Mind [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Online   happy
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 64913
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Late for class....see you after I get done. Have a happy day!
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#860308 - 01/04/13 10:54 AM Re: Friday On My Mind [Re: BrownEyedTigre]
SharonB Offline
Settled Boomer

Registered: 01/23/09
Posts: 934
Loc: Delaware, USA
What simply wonderful stupendous day! Although cold shiver

I'm finally home again. Had the best nights sleep in ages.

I broke out of I mean i escaped I mean I was discharged from a nursing rehab jail facility yesterday.

So once again I'm free to roam the lands of my apartment. No more bells or people waking me up in the middle of the night to ask if I need pain medicine. No more intimate questions about my bathroom activities. And I can finally be alone again. I don't know which was worse. The constant pain or sharing a room with a very nice woman with a large nice chatty family.

Thanks to all those who sent well wishes/vibes/prayers my way. You can tell they did the job cause I'm still here. Not quite out of the woods yet but getting there. woot

I'm glad to be back and I would like to wish belated Merry Christmas and Happy New year to all! santadance newyear HNY winter presents12 happydance12


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#860313 - 01/04/13 11:11 AM Re: Friday On My Mind [Re: gymcandy1]
GBC Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 14423
Loc: Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Wishing everyone a wonderful day! Not feeling the best today but wanted to stop in and say hello to everyone. wave12
_________________________
Gail

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#860315 - 01/04/13 11:27 AM Re: Friday On My Mind [Re: gymcandy1]
flutist Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/17/01
Posts: 11400
Loc: Kirkwood, MO USA
Good Friday morning to everyone.

Doing the usual. No Joe, I am not doing it for you. rotfl12 Wish all you like, the answer is NO!!

There, that ought to take care of him.

Hey, it is supposed to get to 40 today. Heat wave. Woo hoo. That means Cory gets to go for a walk this afternoon.

Gotta fix that lasagna today. Can I sneak a piece? No, everyone will know. Aw shucks.

Well, I am going to go play a game while I wait for the dryer to quit so, everyone have a wonderful day today

Bets
_________________________
Corgis fill your life with Joy, your heart with Love, and your soul with Sunshine.

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#860318 - 01/04/13 11:47 AM Re: Friday On My Mind [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 13638
Loc: northern Wisconsin
Bets just make a little pan for you and Bill. Noone will ever know. lol12 Have fun gaming!

Joe thanks for the laughs and I surely hope you enjoy your day off. Baby will be happy!!

Cailyn thanks for the coffee!! Hit's the spot! Hope it warms there. Was 12 when me and Sassy went walking but now it is a nice 22!!!

Gerry stay warm and have a nice day!

Sharon so glad to see that you are back and that you are home. Been wondering and thought.......maybe, just maybe, things didn't go right and you had to stay. What a shame since it was over the holiday time but so glad you are OK now. HUGS!

Midge stay warm and have fun at work!!

Connie have a lovely day and thanks for the danish!!

Evelyne sounds like you are having way too much fun at class!!! lol12 Continue to have a lovely time!! Oh....enjoy the wine!!!

Darlene may everything go smoothly today!!

Aw Gail so sorry to hear that you are not feeling well. HUGS and Prayers!! May you feel better soonest!!

Ana have fun at class!! Catch ya later.

No plans till taxi time and then I'll be off to the Moose to work the fish fry!! WooHoo!!

wave12
Nan

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#860319 - 01/04/13 12:03 PM Re: Friday On My Mind [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Online   content
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42264
Loc: Alabama
Fantastic Friday ya'll puppy

I am so confused about which day it really is. Tis ok, I'll figure it out eventually.

Tis cold in Bama. I'll be pretending it's Monday and boiling some books today. Thought I had them all taken care of yesterday til hubby came walking in with all his from their recent trip.

Sharon, glad you are home and hope you are at your best soonest!

Back later wave12
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#860322 - 01/04/13 12:05 PM Re: Friday On My Mind [Re: gymcandy1]
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 7221
Loc: San Diego, CA
There's no place like home...Glad you are back there SharonB. Keep strong and recover quickly!
_________________________
WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.

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#860323 - 01/04/13 12:21 PM Re: Friday On My Mind [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Online   happy
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 64913
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
I really hate health clubs in January. Parking is full, classes are jammed with people who have no sense of personal space and just no club etiquette whatsoever.

Sharon, what a great surprise to see you here! You were in my thoughts everyday even though I stopped inquiring here. I'm sorry it was more complicated than you were hoping for and I hope that you can get back to your routine again. hearts

Gail, big hugs for you. I hope you feel better quickly. hearts

Nan, have fun tonight. It was 11 degrees this morning and it was really hard to get myself out the door. I'll be cooking fish tonight too.

Joe, if you are bored come on over. I can always use a hiking buddy or help with a puzzle. grin12

Bets, you can always make a small pan for you and Bill.

Darlene, will you be traveling to see your mom? Have a great day.

Evelyne, I am so glad to see you enjoying yourself. Life is good! What does hubby do while you are in class?

Connie, how is hubby feeling?

Midgie, stay warm!

Gerry, you still walking every morning? Do you go later when it's so chilly?

Sue, you are up early today. I hope all is well in your corner of the world.

Back to work for me and then I'll get the dogs out after lunch. Hopefully I'll remain upright today. lol12

EDIT - I guess I took too long to type my post. Others snuck in. oops

L4L, if you have any leftover after you get done cooking, keep me in mind. lol12

Sorta, feeling any older today?

Ana wave12





Edited by BrownEyedTigre (01/04/13 12:23 PM)
Edit Reason: missed L4L and Sorta
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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