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#860587 - 01/05/13 09:47 PM Sip N Surf Sunday
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 29782
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
"Rest not! Life is sweeping by; go and dare before you die. Something mighty and sublime, leave behind to conquer time."
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was a huge nut tree by the cemetery fence. One day two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts. "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me," said one boy. The bucket was so full, several rolled out towards the fence.

Cycling down the road by the cemetery was a third boy. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slow down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you." He knew what it was. "Oh my god!" he shuddered, "It's Satan and St. Peter dividing the souls at the cemetery!"

He cycled down the road and found an old man with a cane, hobbling along. "Come quick!" he said, "You won't believe what I heard. Satan and St. Peter are down at the cemetery dividing the souls."

The man said, "Shoo, you brat! Can't you see I'm finding it hard to walk as it is!" After several pleas, the man hobbled to the cemetery and heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one..." The old man whispered, "Boy, you's been tellin' the truth! Let's see if we can see the Devil himself."

Shivering with fear, they edged toward the fence, still unable to see anything, but they heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me. And one last one for you. That's all. Let's go get those nuts by the fence, and we'll be done."

They say the old guy made it to town 10 minutes before the boy!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A young man who was also an avid golfer found himself with a few hours to spare one afternoon. He figured if he hurried and played very fast, he could get in 9 holes before he had to head home. Just as he was about to tee off an old gentleman shuffled onto the tee and asked if he could accompany the young man as he was golfing alone. Not being able to say no, he allowed the old gent to join him.

To his surprise the old man played fairly quickly. He didn't hit the ball far, but plodded along consistently and didn't waste much time.

Finally, they reached the 9th fairway and the young man found himself with a tough shot. There was a large pine tree right in front of his ball and it was directly between his ball and the green. After several minutes of debating how to hit the shot the old man finally said, "You know, when I was your age I'd hit the ball right over that tree."

With that challenge placed before him, the youngster swung hard, hit the ball up, right smack into the top of the tree trunk and it thudded back on the ground not a foot from where it had originally lay.

The old man offered one more comment, "Of course, when I was your age that pine tree was only 3 feet tall."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One Sunday morning, the priest saw little Davey staring up at the large plaque that hung in the church's foyer. The plaque was covered with names and small American flags were mounted on either side of it.

"Father Donovan," the boy asked, "what is this?

"Well, son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service," the priest explained. They stood together quietly, staring at the memorial plaque.

Little Davey softly asked, "Which service? The 9:00 or the 10:30?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonald's. He noticed that they had ordered one meal, and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries, one for him, one for her, until each had half of them. Then he poured half of the soft drink into the extra cup and set that in front of his wife. The old man then began to eat, and his wife sat watching, with her hands folded in her lap.

The young man decided to ask if they would allow him to purchase another meal for them so that they didn't have to split theirs.

The old gentleman said, "Oh no. We've been married 50 years, and everything has always been and will always be shared, 50/50."

The young man then asked the wife if she was going to eat, and she replied, "It's his turn with the teeth."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A guy goes to a girl's house for the first time, and she shows him into the living room. She excuses herself to go to the kitchen to make them a few drinks, and as he's standing there alone, he notices a cute little vase on the mantel. He picks it up, and as he's looking at it, she walks back in.

He says "What's this?"

She says, "Oh, my father's ashes are in there."

He says, "Jeez...oooh....I..."

She says, "Yeah, he's too lazy to go to the kitchen to get an ashtray."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie.  welcome

Welcome to the weekend! 

It's been weeks since I could say that with real excitement. 

SO! What are we going to do today?

For fun I mean. penguin

I think that's still allowed here in Oklahoma.

Except on Sundays.

On Sundays we're expected to stand in the middle of the creek and flog ourselves with a cat-o-nine tails. blush

That's our penitence for being dumb enough actually live here. 

I'm hoping to get some rubber wading boots in another paycheck or two. The water's getting pretty cold in the creek. shiver

It's really not that bad though. I take a bar of soap with me and kill two birds with it.

I don't mean that I throw the soap at the birds. It's a metaphore.  rolleyes12

I get my weekly bath at the same time.

Anyway I'll just have to do everything twice today and double my fun.

That's why I'm gathering two bags of fire ants to toss into my sister's bed and wake her. 

Don't worry she loves being woke up that way.  grinch

I'm kidding. I could never do that to my sister.

She keeps her door locked.  mad12

Have a happy day everyone. yay12

joe






_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#860589 - 01/05/13 09:54 PM Re: Sip N Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Online   happy
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 63335
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
lol12 Joe, poor sis! I am sure she is thrilled to have you moving back. rotfl12
How is Pepper doing?

I think I am going to the club for a weight class in the morning and then I will run the dogs in the afternoon. Yesterday we walked twice as far because I got turned around in the woods. lol12

I hope you all have an absolutely fantastic day.

Ana hearts
_________________________
How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

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#860599 - 01/06/13 03:59 AM Re: Sip N Surf Sunday [Re: BrownEyedTigre]
cailyn Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 01/08/06
Posts: 5952
Loc: Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
Good morning Joe,Ana and all who arrive later santaJoe you are to funny lol12Coffe is ready!Have a great day everyone puppy
_________________________
I may not have gone where I intended to go,but I think I have ended up where I need to be.

Sue

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#860603 - 01/06/13 04:39 AM Re: Sip N Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 16297
Loc: Marlborough USA
winter Good Morning Joe, Ana and Sue. Hope you all enjoy your Sunday! winter
_________________________
Gerry

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#860615 - 01/06/13 07:45 AM Re: Sip N Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 7807
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. House dedecorated and furniture moved around. We bought a new bookcase while the tree was up and had to make room for it. Today will bring our walk, breakfast out, and a Sam's trip. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Sunday. Danish, Omelets, Hash Browns, Toast, and Hot Chocolate in the NC. winter
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Connie

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#860618 - 01/06/13 08:19 AM Re: Sip N Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1]
Space Quest Fan Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 9066
Loc: Columbus,Ohio USA
Thanks for the jokes Joe. The service one was my favorite. rotfl12

Have a great Sunday Boomers.

Connie the menu at the naughty corner sounds awesome. Do I smell bacon? evil
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It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

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#860631 - 01/06/13 10:24 AM Re: Sip N Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 13269
Loc: northern Wisconsin
rotfl12 Thanks for the laughs Joe!! May work go well. Only a couple more!!

Ana too funny. My grandpa was hunting and got lost so he just told the dog "Home Pepper" and then followed the dog home. lol12 Have fun at weight class and a nice walk with the dogs.

Cailyn thanks for the coffee! Have a nice day!

Gerry have a nice walk and day!

Connie have a nice walk, enjoy breakfast, and fun shopping!! Thanks for the danish!

Space have a lovely day!

wave12
Nan

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#860662 - 01/06/13 12:07 PM Re: Sip N Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Online   happy
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 63335
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
I ended up stuck on a puzzle for hours last night so I got to bed a couple hours after I planned. I woke up ten minutes after class started. oops

Gail, I hope you are feeling better. Miss you. hearts

Sharon, I hope you are healing well. kissy12

Sue, I see you didn't get a chance to sleep in today. Hope it's a good day!

Gerry, have a great day!

Connie, sounds like a great day planned.

SpaceQ, are you watching the playoffs today? Any special favorite?

Nan, it was my dogs that took me back into the woods. They weren't done yet. The deer paths run all over in there and sometimes I end up crawling under thorny bushes to keep up with them. lol12 We have different ideas on what is a "path".
Whatcha doing today?

Haroula, safe trip home today!
_________________________
How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

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#860664 - 01/06/13 12:25 PM Re: Sip N Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 13269
Loc: northern Wisconsin
Sorry you missed weight class but glad you finally were able to finish the puzzle. I guess it was moving along too well. lol12

You must have some really interesting walk!! lol12

wave12
Nan

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#860695 - 01/06/13 01:40 PM Re: Sip N Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Online   happy
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 63335
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Nan, I finished the WT last night and only have one puzzle left to go that I skipped. I am free until the final comes in and I can replay. yay12
Off to the woods before the coyotes start hunting.

Ana wave12
_________________________
How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

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#860710 - 01/06/13 02:48 PM Re: Sip N Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1]
Midge Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 04/30/00
Posts: 14464
Loc: Massachusetts
Hi all. I've been absent from GB's. Life was really getting in my way. I'm home from work for a breather, then back to work for 5:00. I really cleaned my apartment so I can't say that I've just been sitting around watching TV. Uh,uh not me.

Talk to you later.

Midgie hearts
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Just do it.

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#860711 - 01/06/13 02:57 PM Re: Sip N Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1]
Yankee Clipper Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 08/27/04
Posts: 1885
Loc: Lexington, Texas
Lovely day today -bright and warm sun and kits are all stretched out soaking it up. You can tell my life is centered around pets and games -oh well been there done all that other stuff already so....

Talked to one of my daughters, Anne who lives near Tulsa. We had a grand talk -she and I are alot alike but she doesn't care for games -can you imagine that! I tried to interest her in the Zuma games, no go. Zuma games are great to keep sharp and if I were president everybody would have to play them, just to keep smarter.

Outdoor tomatos need lotsa prayers but the 3 indoor ones still look good. These soon will become 100$ tomatos. But I grew them myself.

Good news yesterday as 2 games arrived - Battleship and Splatterhouse. Now I have gaming until Devil May Cry 5 arrives in 2 weeks. Still in Oblivion. My kitty is a 21.5 and clunks around in heavy daedric armor and his dark brotherhood hoodie and fighting is at 50%. Daedric armor looks kinda girlie but it isn't. Now I can enchant it -if I remember how that is.

Happy Sunday all
_________________________
I wish I were a cat and belonged to me ~ My Aunt Helen Mary Rose

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#860714 - 01/06/13 03:45 PM Re: Sip N Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Online   happy
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 63335
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Midgie, I'd love to be cleaning right now, but hubby is too busy watching football and golf and I can't make noise. It sounds like you need some grandkid hugs to lighten your heart. hearts

Yankee, I have a daughter who doesn't understand games either. lol12 Can you bring your outdorr tomatoes in?

Dogs are run, I am showered and as soon as my haior dries, it's off to the store for some fruits ands veggies.
_________________________
How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

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#860717 - 01/06/13 03:56 PM Re: Sip N Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Online   content
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 41467
Loc: Alabama
Killing time and watching football and later will head out to watch The Hobbit again. I'm not a big one to go to the same movie twice, but son wants to see it and doesn't want to see it alone, so we will all go. I'll look for things I missed last time puppy

We watched Shutter Island last night. Interesting movie but not recommended for the last thing before you go to bed. eek12
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#860721 - 01/06/13 04:04 PM Re: Sip N Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Online   happy
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 63335
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Have fun at the movies L4L. Is son still dating the girl with the kids?
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How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

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