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#864375 - 01/25/13 10:54 PM Saturdiner
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 30066
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why men need instant replays in sports. They've already forgotten what happened.
Rita Rudner
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Female Stages Of Life
AGE DRINK

17 - Wine Coolers
25 - White wine
35 - Red wine
48 - Dom Perignon
66 - Shot of Jack with an Ensure chaser

EXCUSES FOR REFUSING DATES

17 - Need to wash my hair
25 - Need to wash and condition my hair
35 - Need to colour my hair
48 - Need to have Francois colour my hair
66 - Need to have Francois colour my wig

FAVORITE SPORT

17 - shopping
25 - shopping
35 - shopping
48 - shopping
66 - shopping

DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE

17 - "Burger King"
25 - "Free meal"
35 - "A diamond"
48 - "A bigger diamond"
66 - "Home Alone"

FAVORITE FANTASY

17 - tall, dark and handsome
25 - tall, dark and handsome with money
35 - tall, dark and handsome with money and a brain
48 - a man with hair
66 - a man

HOUSE PET

17 - Muffy the cat
25 - Unemployed boyfriend and Muffy the Cat
35 - German Shepherd and Muffy the Cat
48 - Children from his first marriage and Muffy the Cat
66 - Retired husband dabbles in taxidermy, stuffs Muff the Cat

WHAT'S THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED

17 - 17
25 - 25
35 - 35
48 - 48
66 - 66

IDEAL DATE

17 - He offers to pay
25 - He pays
35 - He cooks breakfast the next morning
48 - He cooks breakfast the next morning for the kids
66 - He can chew his breakfast
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Female Laws To Live By
The female always make the rules.

The rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.

No male can possibly know all the rules.

If the female suspects the male knows the rules she must immediately change some or all of the rules.

The female is never wrong.

If the female is wrong, it is due to a misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the male did or said wrong.

The male must apologize immediately for causing said misunderstanding.

The female may change her mind at any time.

The male must never change his mind without the express written consent of the female.

The female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.

The male must remain calm at all times unless the female wants him to be angry and/or upset.

The female must, under no circumstances, let the male know whether or not she wants him to be angry and/or upset.

The male is expected to mind read at all times.

The female is ready when she is ready.

The male must be ready at all times.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A woman named Shirley was from Beverly Hills. One day, she had a heart attack and was taken to Cedars Sinai hospital. While on the operating table, she had a near-death experience. She saw God and asked, "Is this it?"

God said, "No, you have another 30 to 40 years to live."

Upon her recovery, she decided to stay in the hospital and have collagen shots, cheek implants, a face lift, liposuction and breast augmentation. She even had someone dye her hair. She figured since she had another 30 to 40 years, she might as well make the most of it.

She walked out of Cedars Sinai lobby after the last operation and was killed by an ambulance speeding up to the hospital. She arrived in front of God and said, "I thought you said I had another 30 to 40 years?"

God replied, "Shirley! I'm sorry but I didn't recognize you!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Jack and Jill were getting married.

Jack was talking to his dad about the marriage when his dad says, "I remember when your mom and I got married. I took off my pants, gave them to her, and told her to put them on."

"I can't wear these," she said.

"Darn right," he said, "I wear the pants in this family, and you'd better remember that."

"I think I'll try that on Jill," Jack said.

He went to Jill, took off his pants, and gave them to her.

"Put these on," he said.

Jill replied, "I can't wear these."

"Darn right. I wear the pants in this family and you'd better remember that," he said.

Then Jill took off her pants, gave them to him, and told him to put them on.

"I can't get in to these," he said.

"Darn right," Jill said. "And if you don't change your attitude you never will!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

11 Signs of PMS
1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.

2. You add chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.

3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.

4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing with everything you say.

5. You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that reads, "How's my driving--call 1-800-***-****."

6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.

7. You're convinced there's a God and he's male.

8. You're counting down the days until menopause.

9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.

10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.

11. Three little letters (M, E, and N) send you into an uncontrollable rage.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. wave

Welcome to the weekend! woot

It's Friday for me........kinda. rolleyes

I'm off tomorrow, except that I have to go in at 7:00AM for a meeting for an hour. mad

The fun never ends. razz

The really good part is that I have to close tonight. I'll get home about 10:00, and then up again at 5:30. smirk

Someone's off my Christmas card list for this one. taz

Have a happy weekend everyone. woot

joe


Edited by gymcandy1 (01/26/13 11:01 AM)
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#864378 - 01/25/13 11:57 PM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 65260
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Joe, that really stinks you have to go in especially so early on your day off. I hope the rest of your day is spectacular.

I decided to break free from the corner and invited my sis for an afternoon of bonding. I think we are going to browse IKEA and then go to Brunch at Barleycorns. Whatever it will be, it will be good to get out.

Hope you all have a happy day!

Ana wave
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#864380 - 01/26/13 01:36 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: BrownEyedTigre]
Darlene Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/10/00
Posts: 9407
Loc: Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Sorry you have to go in on your day off! Hope the rest of your Saturdiner is super duper!

Hey, Ana! Sounds like a great time with your sis! I love IKEA! Enjoy!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies! It's SoI'msittingherelisteningtoalightrainfallandlookingforwardtoaneasypeasy Saturdiner!

Still Friday evening for me...

Home early from an evening out, dinner and dancing, celebrating DIL's birthday with her family and some friends. DIL is recuperating from the flu, poor sweetie, so it was an early evening.

So.

To all abed, sleep To all awake, woot
_________________________
You become what you think about. Change your thoughts, change your life. - Dko

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#864382 - 01/26/13 02:28 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 7828
Loc: Greece
Good morning Joe,Ana,Darlene and all who
come in later smile
Have all a super Saturday wave happydance
_________________________

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.



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#864386 - 01/26/13 03:50 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Online   happy
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 17330
Loc: Marlborough USA
wave Good Morning Joe, Ana, Darlene,Haroula and Cailyn. Joe sorry you have to go to a meeting on your day off. Maybe arrow hunting in the afternoon? Ana sounds like a fun day planned with your sister. Darlene nice to see you in the diner! Haroula enjoy your day. Cailyn coffee is on - hope you are feeling better. Happy Day wished for all! wave
_________________________
Gerry

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#864387 - 01/26/13 03:51 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: Haroula]
cailyn Online   sad
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 01/08/06
Posts: 6058
Loc: Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
Good morning Joe,Ana,Darlene,Haroula waveAna sounds like fun with your sister, how is your toe? My hand is much better so I'll get the coffee going,we had a dusting of snow last night hope that's the end of it!Wishing everyone a great day puppy
_________________________
I may not have gone where I intended to go,but I think I have ended up where I need to be.

Sue

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#864392 - 01/26/13 04:03 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Online   happy
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 17330
Loc: Marlborough USA
Cailyn glad to hear the hand is better. You came in right behind me! wave
_________________________
Gerry

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#864396 - 01/26/13 07:38 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: Kaki's Sister]
cailyn Online   sad
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 01/08/06
Posts: 6058
Loc: Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
Hi Gerry waveHow are you doing?
_________________________
I may not have gone where I intended to go,but I think I have ended up where I need to be.

Sue

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#864397 - 01/26/13 08:02 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 8126
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. We will be doing our taxes, oldest son's taxes, and grandson's taxes today. To all here and all who follow, have a Great Saturday. Danish, Muffins, Pancakes, Omelets, and Hot Chocolate in the NC. penguin
_________________________
Connie

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#864401 - 01/26/13 08:50 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
Space Quest Fan Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 9585
Loc: Columbus,Ohio USA
Good morning Boomers. wave
_________________________
It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

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#864407 - 01/26/13 10:22 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 13700
Loc: northern Wisconsin
Aw Joe that's not fair!! Work late and have to get up so early just for a meeting. Hope it is short and sweet so you can enjoy the rest of your day off. Thanks for the chuckles.

Ana sounds like some lovely plans for the day! All work and no play just ain't healthy. lol Enjoy the time away from the corner!!

Darlene prayers that DIL is back to herself soonest! Sounda like a lovely time was had even if it had to be for less time. Enjoy your day today!!

Haroula enjoy the lovely day!

Gerry have a nice day!

Cailyn glad you are feeling better. HUGS! Have a nice day!

Connie have fun with the taxes!! Thanks for the danish!

Spacwe have a wonderful weekend!!

No plans here yet! Was only -10 this morning! happydance

wave
Nan

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#864409 - 01/26/13 10:31 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 03/07/09
Posts: 5519
Loc: Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Hi, everyone. wave Sorry for the brief stop-by, but I have to get ready to go. This morning, I found out that Jupiter's stool was inflamed and bleeding. sad I have noticed that his diarrhea has gotten worse lately but thought it was because he had fleas and would get better when he had his medicine. Unfortunately, it's only gotten worse, so it's off to the vet. Hoping they can do something for him!! catrub

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#864413 - 01/26/13 10:53 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
LeBelleRachael Offline
Settled Boomer

Registered: 04/22/12
Posts: 135
Loc: Barrackstadt, Arcadia
You are impossible Joe! Such a silly goose! cat
_________________________
"Nobody murdered me. Or put me in a potato. Or fed me to birds. I had a pretty good life."

GLaDOS


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#864416 - 01/26/13 11:00 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: venus]
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 30066
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
Good morning everybody.

It's very gloomy here this morning so I brought some sunshine with me. yes

I have a few hours before I go in to work and it's just right to sit and surf or game.

We're going to be 54 today, but 70 tomorrow. penguin

We have a chance for rain every day next week, except that 3 days the chance is zero. cool

I think I'll go loiter around in URU. happydance

Have a super day everyone. rah

joe


Edited by gymcandy1 (01/26/13 11:04 AM)
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#864427 - 01/26/13 11:23 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42397
Loc: Alabama
Super Saturday Ya'll puppy

Grey and overcast out there but no cold. Hubby and I are going to go walk a bit with the doggies, then home to shower and change, and then hit the road to Birmingham. We are seeing The Screwtape Letters there this evening. Man, I wish we had a Star Trek transpoter.

Joe, I think it so stupid to make people come in for early morning meetings on their day off.

Ana, enjoy your time out of the corner. Are you looking for something in particular of just looking?

Darlene, glad you have fun and hope you all don't come down with the flu and that your day is easypeasy!

Haroula, how is your day going?

Gerry, what's up for you today?

Cailyn, glad ou are feeling better. Thanks for the coffee.


Connie, have fun! I'll be doing that in a couple of weeks.

Quest wave

Nan, that is a heat spell for you guys right now. Seriously, does Sassie have a coat and booties?


Venus, hope Jupiter is ok.

LaBelleRachael wave
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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