OK - it's Sunday evening over here, so it's judgment time.
Lots of great entries (some libellous - you will be hearinfg from my lawyers
) and a tough choice. An honorable mention must go to Doc Paul for his "feng shui" one-liner, but the winner (purely for the fact that it's such a totally surreal idea) is Niki
"his wife sent him out to get her washing in and she is timing him"