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#869063 - 02/18/13 07:29 PM Tuesday's
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 32194
Loc: Calera, Oklahoma
I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
Rita Rudner

Stressful Days
If you're stressed, here are some comments you can use to help articulate your mood to others...

1. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.

2. Well, aren't we just a little ray of sunshine?

3. Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen.

4. Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we?

6. Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after.

7. Do I look like a stupid people person to you?

8. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

9. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.

10. I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.

11. I've found Jesus. He was behind the sofa the whole time.

12. You! Off my planet!

13. Therapy is expensive, poppin' bubble wrap is cheap! You choose.

14. Practice random acts of intelligence & senseless acts of self-control.

15. I like cats too. Let's exchange recipes.

16. If I want to hear the pitter-patter of little feet, I'll put shoes on my cat.

17. The Bible was written by the same people who said the Earth was flat.

18. Did the aliens forget to remove your probe?

19. I wish for a world of peace, harmony, & nakedness.

20. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

21. Let me show you how the guards used to do it.

22. And your cry baby whiny opinion would be...?

23. I'm not crazy, I've just been in a very bad mood for 30 years.

24. See no evil, hear no evil and date no evil.

25. Allow me to introduce my selves.

26. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

27. Whisper my favorite words: "I'll buy it for you."

28. Better living through denial.

29. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

30. Suburbia: where they tear out the trees & then name streets after them.

31. Do they ever shut up on your planet?

32. I'm just working here till a good fast-food job opens up.

33. Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage.

34. I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.

35. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

36. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

37. Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.

38. Here I am! Now what are your other two wishes?

39. Back off! You're standing in my aura.

40. I can't remember if I'm the good twin or the evil one.

41. Don't worry. I forgot your name, too!

42. One of us is thinking about sex... OK, it's me.

43. How many times do I have to flush before you go away?

44. I have a computer, & pizza delivery. Why should I leave the house?

45. I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?

46. It's sick the way you people keep having fun without me.

47. I work 40 hours a week to be this poor.

48. You say I'm a b---- like it's a bad thing.

49. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?

51. Macho Law prohibits me from admitting I'm wrong.

52. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

53. Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.

54. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

55. Just smile and say "Yes, Mistress."

56. Chaos, panic, & disorder -- my work here is done.

57. Mommy, I wanna grow up to be neurotic just like you.

58. A woman's favorite position is CEO.

59. Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.

60. You look like heck. Is that the style now?

61. This is a mean, cruel world & I want my nappy & medication right now!

62. Everyone thinks I'm psychotic, except for my friends deep inside the earth.

63. Earth is full. Go home.

64. Is it time for your medication or mine?

65. Aw, did I step on your poor little bitty ego?

66. Did I mention the kick in the groin you'll be receiving if you touch me?

67. I plead contemporary insanity.

68. And which dwarf are you?

69. I refuse to star in your psychodrama.

70. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks.

71. How do I set a laser printer to stun?

72. It ain't the size, it's... no, it's the size.

73. I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.

74. I majored in liberal arts. Will that be for here or to go?

Good morning everyboomie. wave

I'm one day into my long stretch, which seems to me to be a great time to call in dead. tired

"Hello boss. I'm not feeling well. I need to take sick leave. I'm sure I'll be feeling much better by July."

"Hello boss. I can't make it in today. I'm going to a funeral for my feet." zombie

After a couple of more days things will get serious. lol

Let's see, I'm 61 now....... think Nope!! I just can't see me making to to 70 before retiring. razz

Can you imagine what my jokes might be like at 70? think

"I'm getting really slow in my old age."

How slow are you Joe?

"I'm so slow I can't pass gas." scared

Have a happy day everybody.


Edited by BrownEyedTigre (02/18/13 08:38 PM)
There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats

#869085 - 02/18/13 09:37 PM Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 75370
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
I am scared to see the jokes you will be posting at 70 Joe. Not gonna lie. lol

Not sure what today will bring but I am sure no moss will grow under my feet. I am trying to get caught up with my cleaning.

Have a happy day everyone!

Ana wave
Don't feed the Trolls

#869101 - 02/19/13 12:20 AM Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1]
venus Offline
Staff Reviewer
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 03/07/09
Posts: 7734
Loc: Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Have a great day Joe, Ana and all who come in after me. wave

It's late Monday night for me, but I thought I would post now. Fiance and I were up late watching videos and lost track of time. eek Which means I'm going to be very tired in the morning and may be rushing around and not have time to post. lol

So, I will wish everyone a great Tuesday now, and I'm off to sleep. Have a terrific day, everyone. cat
Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?

#869109 - 02/19/13 02:37 AM Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 10027
Loc: Greece
Good morning Joe, Ana,Venus and all all who
come in later wave
Its a hot and sunny day happydance
Have all a great day penguin
I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

#869123 - 02/19/13 04:42 AM Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
True Blue Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 22793
Loc: Marlborough USA
wave Good Morning Joe, Ana, venus and Haroula. Joe you'll always be a funny guy! Ana don't work to hard. Venus relax and enjoy your day. Haroula enjoy your sunny day. Coffee is on. Hope Cailyn joins us soon! Happy Day wished for everyone! wave

#869130 - 02/19/13 05:29 AM Re: Tuesday's [Re: Kaki's Sister]
cailyn Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 01/08/06
Posts: 6145
Loc: Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
Good morning Joe,Ana,Venus,Haroula,Gerry waveI'm using my Gr.daughters laptop while she is sleeping,I need to buy a new comp. but I just wanted to stop by and say hi,Gerry thanks for the coffee.Have a great day everybody puppy
I may not have gone where I intended to go,but I think I have ended up where I need to be.


#869134 - 02/19/13 06:19 AM Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1]
Midge Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 04/30/00
Posts: 15613
Loc: Massachusetts
Good morning all you early birds. Thanks Joe for your openers. Hi Ana wave, venus, Haroula, Gerry, Sue, and all who come in after me. Sue we missed you. Good luck computer shopping.

I have another early morning shift today. See you guys.

Midgie hearts
Just do it.

#869138 - 02/19/13 06:40 AM Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1]
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 18262
Loc: Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Joe, thanks for the laughs.

Ana, hope your cleaning gets all caught up. I don't think it ever ends though.

Venus, have a good day.

Haroula, hot and sunny sounds terrific for the day. Wished it were hot and sunny here.

Gerry, thanks for the coffee.

Cailyn, hope you find a great computer. They keep getting better and better.

Midge, enjoy your day!

Will be doing something with the girls today. Haven't decided what yet.

#869144 - 02/19/13 07:21 AM Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Online   content
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 10257
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. Please keep my friend Sandy in your prayers. She is back in AFIB again. The Dr. says there is nothing more they can do, and she will have to learn to live with it. After all her heart surgeries and she is no better. Now her heart is enlarged too. Hubby is still coughing and gets tired quickly, but says he feels a little better. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Tuesday. Danish, Muffins, Bacon Sandwiches, and Hot Chocolate in the NC. winter

#869173 - 02/19/13 10:01 AM Re: Tuesday's [Re: connie]
Darlene Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 02/10/00
Posts: 10371
Loc: Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! You are too funny, Joe! kissy Have a great day!

Connie, prayers of strength for your friend, Sandy! hearts And hope Hubby feels better soon!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
Woohoo and booyah! smile Have an easy peasy day!

#869186 - 02/19/13 11:26 AM Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 14623
Loc: northern Wisconsin
Hey Joe...I'm sure you will be funny at 70, the same as you are today. Ya just might repeat yourself a little more. lol Thanks for the laughs and may work fly!

Ana yes I did go. Didn't win though but had fun. I waited almost 20 numbers for just one and they never called it. lol Have fun with what ever pops up to do!!

Not much snow last night but the wind sure did howel all night. Infact it is still roaring. lol

Haroula enjoy the warm sunny day!! We have a cold sunny day. lol It is -2f or -18c here. Brrrrr and the winds make it feel colder.

venus Happy working. Hope the time flies and you can fit a nap in after.

Gerry thanks for getting the coffee going. Have a lovely day!

Cailyn happy computer shopping!! Nice that granddaughter let you use hers to stop by!! Have a lovely day!

Connie prayers headed up for your friend. HUGS to you both! Prayers for hubby that he is better soonest. If he has what I have that might take awhile. Mine has been going over two weeks now. Thanks for the treats.

Gail have fun with the girls!! Hope you are feeling well since that lat treatment!! HUGS!

Midge have a fun day at work!!

No plans yet but ya never know around here. lol


#869194 - 02/19/13 11:45 AM Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1]
my10rugrats Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 08/05/06
Posts: 3501
Loc: kansas
not much planned here today, not feeling very good today. got a major storm thats suppose to be here tomorrow with snow ice and rain. not looking forward to it. hopefully i can get to walmart tomorrow for dog treats and to the vet for the dogs monthly pills before it hits.would go today but got to wait for hubby's ss tomorrow. prayers going out to your friend connie and hope hubby gets to feeling better.

#869196 - 02/19/13 11:49 AM Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 47575
Loc: Alabama
Terrific Tuesday ya'll puppy

I have a lot on my to-do list today. I'm sure it won't all get done, but something will get checked off. wave
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

#869218 - 02/19/13 02:22 PM Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1]
Lotus777 Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 03/12/06
Posts: 3281
Loc: Oregon
On my way out the door and off to town. Rained hard all night and now sunny, cold and everything is dripping. Hope everyone has a great day and Happy Gaming!!! wave
Life is like a hot bath. It feels good while you’re in it, but the longer you stay in, the more wrinkled you get.

#869233 - 02/19/13 03:30 PM Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1]
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 15321
Loc: Upper Arlington, Ohio
It was cold and snowy here today. Hopefully tomorrow will be better. shiver
It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

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