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#869984 - 02/22/13 09:48 PM Saturday
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 32194
Loc: Calera, Oklahoma
Hey everybody. wave
I can' sit for more than a minute without blowing my nose, so I can't get a diner posted from scratch. I've gotta rerun an oldie......again.


"Time is the scarcest resource and unless it is managed nothing else can be managed."
Peter F Drucker

A teacher asks her class if anyone can use the word fascinate in a sentence. Brian raises his hand and says, "The sky is fascinating."

The teacher says, "No that's fascinating."

Jennifer raises her hand and says, "When I saw the tigers at the zoo I was fascinated."

The teacher says, "No that's fascinated."

So finally Little Johnny raises his hand and says, "My mom bought a new blouse with 12 pearl buttons, but her chest's so big she could only fasten eight!"

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

One day a florist goes for a haircut. After the cut, he goes to pay the barber and the barber replies: "I am sorry. I cannot accept money from you, I am doing a community service". The florist is happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the barber goes to open his shop, there is a card and a dozen roses waiting at his door. A butcher goes for a haircut the next day and he also goes to pay the barber and the barber reples: "I am sorry. I cannot accept money from you. I am doing a community service". The butcher is happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning the barber goes to open his shop and there is a thank you card and a package of steaks waiting at his door.
The next day a Fireman goes for a haircut and goes to pay the barber. The barber replies: "I am sorry. I cannot accept money from you, I am doing a community service".
The next morning when the barber goes to open his shop, guess what he finds at the door?

Can you guess?

Come on, think like a Fireman....

....two dozen other Firemen waiting for free haircuts!

I’m Tired...

Yes, I’m tired. For several years I’ve been blaming it on getting older, lack of sleep, weekend projects, stale office air, poor nutrition, carrying a couple of extra pounds, raising a family, recent ailments, and a dozen other reasons that make you wonder why life is getting tough.

But now I found out what’s really happening! I’m tired because I’m overworked. The population of the USA reached 300 million last October. 79 million of the population are retired. That leaves 221 million to do the work. There are 19 million toddlers and 76 million students in schools, which leaves 126 million to do the work. Of that total, 21 million are unemployed leaving 105 million to do the work.

Then you take away 34 million in hospitals and that leaves 71 million to do the work. 43 million are in prisons and that’s 28 million left to do the work. Now take away 14,683,468 federal, 5,344,722 state and 5,370,743 city workers who run our government and you’re left with 2,601,067 to do the work. Take away the 2,601,065 people in the armed forces and that leaves just two people to do the work - You and Me!
And you’re just sitting there reading this! No wonder I’m tired!!!

You know you're a teacher if:

You believe the staff room should be equipped with a Valium salt lick.
You find humor in other people's stupidity.
You want to slap the next person who says "Must be nice to work 8 to 3:20 and have summers free."
You believe chocolate is a food group.
You can tell if it's a full moon without ever looking outside.
You believe "Shallow gene pool" should have its own box in the report card.
You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says "Boy, the kids sure are mellow today.
When out in public you feel the urge to snap your fingers at children you do not know and correct their behavior.
You have no life between August to June.
When you mention "Vegetables" you're not talking about a food group.
You think people should be required to get a government permit before being allowed to reproduce.
You wonder how some parents ever MANAGED to reproduce.
You believe in aerial spraying of Prozak.
You believe no one should be permitted to reproduce without having taught in an elementary setting for the last 10 years.
You've ever had your profession slammed by someone who would "Never DREAM" of doing your job.
You think caffeine should be available in intravenous form.
You know you are in for a major project when a parent says "I have a great idea I'd like to discuss. I think it would be such fun."
You want to choke a person when he or she says "Oh, you must have such FUN everyday. This must be like playtime for you."
Meeting a child's parent instantly answers the question "Why is this kid like this?"


Good morning everyboomie.....I think. wave

I've been time traveling again.

Yes I know it sounds glamerous, but it's pretty confusing at...........................times. crazy

I went from today to the day after yesterday, back to today, and then to the day before tomorrow and back, and I found out some profoundly interesting things that I think would have raised even Albert Einstein's bushy eyebrows. headscratch

I found out that no matter how far you travel ahead or backwards in time, it still feels just like today when you get there.

Also, when I traveled to the day after yesterday I didn't even feel a day older. Convolutedly, when I traveled back to the day before tomorrow I didn't feel any younger, and what's worse is that my Mom didn't even look any younger! shocked

The scariest thing of all is that when I set my machine to go to the day before tomorrow, I found I was already there before I even got in the machine. eek

OMG!!! I don't even need a time machine anymore to time travel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! scared

I think my body has absorbed too many gamma rays.

Tomorrow I'm going to travel back to the day before tomorrow and see what really happened on that day in history.

Maybe I can stop something terrible from happening, like being scheduled to work today from 1:00 to 10:00.

If I'm successful I may have to cut this short and leave now.

I'm just afraid that I may find that Einstein was not as smart as everybody knew he was, and if that's the case, then I'm most likely not even that smart.

One thing I do know for sure is that no matter where you go, there you are. duh

Have a happy day everyone, because the day after yesterday only comes.....................well it comes pretty often actually. grin

That's alright, have a happy day anyway.

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats

#869990 - 02/22/13 10:10 PM Re: Saturday [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 75367
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Joe, I am sorry you do not feel good, but I thank you for opening the diner even if you have to do a rerun. hearts I hope you wake up feeling better. Big Hugs!

My Indiana sis is coming in early and we are taking the dogs in the woods to hopefully see some animals. After that we are heading to my niece's for my daughters bridal shower. I will try not to panic all day that I should be home working on my deadline. eek

Have a happy day everyone!

Ana wave
Don't feed the Trolls

#870012 - 02/22/13 11:58 PM Re: Saturday [Re: gymcandy1]
niteowl07 Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 11/06/05
Posts: 9029
Loc: the dusty desert
aww ,joe ,it's ok - they're still funny ! hope you feel better soon !

ana ,just try to relax and have fun in the moment.

well, i'm whipped. but all the utilities are switched ,the car was towed to the garage ,and almost everything got moved.whew ! so i'm coming into the home stretch now.

melodee was extremely upset that people came in and TOOK our stuff rotfl I had gone with my sister to the gas company ,and when i got back ,my friends had left for the new place. she had to call me into every room to let me know stuff was missing. too funny.

hope tomorrow is a little slower paced.

walnut bread ,and orange rolls in the corner.

have a wonderful day ,whatever you do !

#870015 - 02/23/13 02:21 AM Re: Saturday [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 10027
Loc: Greece
Good morning boomers,have all a relaxing Saturday happydance wave
I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

#870019 - 02/23/13 03:17 AM Re: Saturday [Re: Haroula]
cailyn Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 01/08/06
Posts: 6145
Loc: Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
Good morning Joe,Ana,Niteowl,Haroula and all who follow me in waveJoe I hope your feeling better soon flowersAna enjoy the day with your sister and the bridal shower,coffee is on happy day wished for all puppy
I may not have gone where I intended to go,but I think I have ended up where I need to be.


#870022 - 02/23/13 05:11 AM Re: Saturday [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Online   happy
True Blue Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 22793
Loc: Marlborough USA
dance Good Morning Joe, Ana, niteowl, Haroula and Ana. Joe hope you are feeling better today. Ana have fun with you sister and the bridal shower. Niteowl moving is so stressful. Hope you get to relax a little. Cailyn how's windows 8? Happy Day All! dance

#870027 - 02/23/13 07:08 AM Re: Saturday [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 10256
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. Joe, I hope your feeling better today. hearts Ana, enjoy the shower. Not sure what's on for today yet. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Saturday. Danish, French Toast, Apple Turnovers, and Hot Chcolate in the NC. penguin

#870030 - 02/23/13 07:50 AM Re: Saturday [Re: gymcandy1]
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 18262
Loc: Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Joe, thank you for always being here! Feel better!

Ana, sounds like your kind of day! No stress would be shear boredom to you.

Niteowl, wishing you a wonderful day too.

Haroula, have a good one.

Cailyn, thanks for the coffee.

Gerry, are you getting any of the bad weather today?

Connie, enjoy whatever you decide to do today. Thanks for the Danish!

To all who come in after me....happy day.

Going out fun shopping with my cousins and out for Chinese lunch. woot

#870038 - 02/23/13 08:21 AM Re: Saturday [Re: GBC]
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 32194
Loc: Calera, Oklahoma
Good morning everybody. wave

I did get some sleep, surprisingly, but woke up early with the sinus problem.

I feel horrible. I have to blow the nose every 2 minutes.

I can't see even trying to get through a work day like this, so I probably won't go.

I have plenty of sick time accumulated. sick

For now I'm gonna sit here and nurse myself with hot coffee. thumbsup

I hope you all have a super Saturday. rah

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats

#870042 - 02/23/13 09:44 AM Re: Saturday [Re: gymcandy1]
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 15321
Loc: Upper Arlington, Ohio

Good morning everyone. There ia little something called the sun that actually made an appearance here today. happydance
It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

#870047 - 02/23/13 09:59 AM Re: Saturday [Re: gymcandy1]
venus Offline
Staff Reviewer
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 03/07/09
Posts: 7734
Loc: Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Hi, everyone. wave Just a quick stop-by today, as I'm going out to lunch with my mom, and then going over to visit her with her cats. cat

Hope everyone has a great Saturday. winter
Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?

#870071 - 02/23/13 11:15 AM Re: Saturday [Re: gymcandy1]
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/16/05
Posts: 27730
Loc: Usually up an Alabama Tree
Get well soon Joe .. colds are no fun!

Have fun Ana and drive safe!

woot Chinese! Enjoy Gail

Good luck on activities for the day Connie .. I'll be gardening and listening to whale music for sure and after that .. who knows .. well, er L4L knows but she hasn't told me yet.

Cailyn .. Windows 8 eh? I'm thinking of that too .. how do you like it so far?

Good morning Venus, SQF, Gerry, NiteOwl, Haroula and the rest of you when you're up and at em!!

Happy Saturday everyone!

To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music

#870075 - 02/23/13 11:28 AM Re: Saturday [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 47571
Loc: Alabama
Super Saturday ya'll puppy

We had such a storm last night, but the house and the trees are all here happydance

Skywalker has come over to remind me that the doggies haven't had breakfast yet, but then neither have I. whistle wave
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

#870078 - 02/23/13 12:09 PM Re: Saturday [Re: gymcandy1]
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 9562
Loc: San Diego, CA
Wow Joe! Now you have me wondering if today is actually yesterday, which would make it tomorrow if I missed it and then I'm stuck in the future. Ugh! It brings to mind the quote from 'Peggy Sue Got Married': "It's like I'm remembering the future". My head is spinning.

Old Guy News:

In other fun news, actually some good news if it happens. The old guy who hit his head and has been in the hospital and nursing facility since LAST March, was transferred to a private residence care facility. Wait, that's not the good news. This transfer was done without notifying his Family (who he won't deal with) or his long time companion, caretaker who has remained faithful despite the efforts of the 'snake' guy who is trying to get all the old guy's possessions.

Caretaker/friend came over, said he had gone to hospital and they told him that the guy was not there, had been moved 'somewhere' and would not give him any info except a nebulous name of a place. I did some computer research, found the place, left a message on the friend's phone. Imagine moving someone and NOT telling them?

So the friend immediately went to his bank (he has access to his accounts) and told them to put a 'watch' on the accounts. The NEW facility as I found, takes NO insurance, no medicare, no mediCal, nothing. Just plain hard cold cash. We think it might be run by a friend of the snake. Average cost to stay there? Six thousand a month!

Happily the friend went there, had no trouble visiting the old guy, says he's very very low on mental stuff now AND here's the good news you have been anxiously waiting for me to announce:

Friend called the niece of the guy and she is flying out here next week to take over his affairs. Hooray! Hope this time it works. The snake want's nothing more than everything he can get from the guy. House, cars, bank account (over 100k in there). Friend is almost sure that the new facility is run by a relative of the snake or one of his friends! Ohhhhhh!

AND a few days ago, snake and son were over at the house desperately trying to start his SUV which has been sitting untouched. Friend used to make sure it ran and kept battery charged etc., before snake kept calling the cops on him. BUT this time, as the snake and son pushed the car out in the driveway to jump the battery, a girl walking her dog CALLED the cops! She stopped right in front of my house and I could hear every word. She reported a 'possible break in'. How neat! Only problem was that the cops showed up, the snake charmed them and they left in about 3 minutes. Darn darn.

At least we now have some hope that the niece will attack this mess whether or not the guy wants her to (he stopped her from coming her a few months ago), but now he's too weak to do anything. If I can, I will go chat with her and the friend, and so will my neighbor who knows the old guy for over 50 years. Hope between us all we can get the 'power' back in the right hands. I'd love to see a restraining order against the snake. Oh that would make my day. dance
WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.

#870141 - 02/23/13 04:39 PM Re: Saturday [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 10027
Loc: Greece
sleep wave
I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

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