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#871351 - 03/01/13 09:07 PM Weekend Part 1
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 32190
Loc: Calera, Oklahoma
It is not a bad idea to get in the habit of writing down one's thoughts. It saves one having to bother anyone else with them.
Isabel Colegate

Male Wedding Plans

What would it be like if men were put in charge of organizing weddings?

There would be a "Rehearsal Dinner Kegger" until the cops showed up.

Bridesmaids would wear matching blue jean cut-offs and halter tops.

They would have NO tan lines and more skin showing than not.

Tuxes would have team logos on the back and the Nike shoes would have matching team colors.

June weddings would be scheduled around basketball play-offs.

Vows would mention cooking and sex specifically, but omit that "forsaking all others" part.

The couple would leave the ceremony in a souped up '73 Charger or some other Mopar with racing tires and flame designs on the side of the car. Better yet, a Harley!

Idiots who tried to dance with the bride (unless they were really old) would get punched in the head.

Big, slobbery dogs would be eligible for the role of "Best Man".

There would be "Tailgate Receptions".

Outdoor weddings would be held during sporting events at half-time or between innings.

Ceremonies would be short and honeymoons would be long.

Ceremonies and honeymoons would be inexpensive compared to the cost of the bachelor party. The cost of strippers and liquor really do add up.

Men wouldn't ask, "Well, what do you think, dear? The burgundy or the wine colored napkins?" They'd just grab extras from their local pub, tavern or donut store.

Favors would be matchbooks and cigars. Better yet, free drink passes at the local lounge.

The bride's dress would show cleavage, her navel, and be form-fitted to her arse.

Instead of a sit-down dinner or a buffet, there would be a hog roast or buckets of chicken, pizza and plenty of b-b-q.

No one would bother with that "Veil Routine". But they would insist that the garter be as high up on her leg as it could go.

The bridal bouquet would be recycled from a previous funeral/wedding (what's the difference) or something.

Invitations would read as follows...

Tom (Dick or Harry) is getting the old ball and chain...
He's getting married. He either:
A) Knocked her up
B) Couldn't get a different roommate or
C) Caved in to her ultimatum...
Please meet the woman who will cook and clean for him. For the rest of his life at Soldier Field Stadium. On the 50 Yard Line At Half-time during Sunday's Game. Please join us at the Moonlight Lounge after the game For Beer, Nachos and Pizza.
Oh yeah... BYOB!

Marketing Gone Bad

It's always good to check into the meaning of your slogans and brands before you start selling in foreign countries, as these companies learned a bit too late...

1. The Dairy Association's huge success with the campaign "Got Milk?" prompted
them to expand advertising to Mexico. It was soon brought to their attention the
Spanish translation read "Are you lactating?"

2. Coors put its slogan, "Turn it loose," into Spanish, where it was read as
"Suffer from diarrhea".

3. Scandinavian vacuum manufacturer Electrolux used the following in an
American campaign: "Nothing sucks like an Electrolux".

4. Clairol introduced the "Mist Stick", a curling iron, into German only to
find out that "mist" is slang for manure. Not too many people had use for the
"manure stick".

5. When Gerber started selling baby food in Africa, they used the same
packaging as in the US, with the smiling baby on the label. Later they learned
that in Africa, companies routinely put pictures on the label of what's inside,
since many people can't read.

6. Colgate introduced a toothpaste in France called Cue, the name of a
notorious porno magazine.

7. An American T-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the Spanish market
which promoted the Pope's visit. Instead of "I saw the Pope" (el Papa), the
shirts read "I saw the potato" (la papa).

10. Frank Perdue's chicken slogan, "it takes a strong man to make a tender
chicken" was translated into Spanish as "it takes an aroused man to make a
chicken affectionate".

11. When Parker Pen marketed a ball-point pen in Mexico, its ads were supposed
to have read, "it won't leak in your pocket and embarrass you". Instead, the
company thought that the word "embarazar" (to impregnate) meant to embarrass, so
the ad read: "It won't leak in your pocket and make you pregnant".

Good morning everyboomie. wave

It's Good Morning Gone Bad. razz

Everybody's working for the weekend, and I'm working ON the weekend. shocked

The good news is....... think....I'll get back with you.

We're supposed to be up to 52 degrees tomorrow, but up to 65 degrees Sunday, which should make for a seriously busy day. yay

After a seriously busy day, I'll be looking for some serious play.

I love staying really busy at work for sure, but the days get really crazy, and it's non-stop running for me, which is never good for someone so lazy. snicker

My feet are the ones that really suffer, for between them and the concrete there is not much buffer. dance

I'm afraid I could go on like this all night, or at least until I closed my eyes and turned out the light. slapforehead

I'm sure I do not need to say, but I will anyway.

Have a happy day.

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats

#871357 - 03/01/13 10:12 PM Re: Weekend Part 1 [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 75349
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Joe, you seriously need to find some time to do something seriously fun. Seriously. grin

I am not sure what the day will bring but I do know I will enjoy it. That is for sure!

I promised the dogs a romp in the woods. Our days are getting numbered there and I'll have to start going to the off-leash dogs parks again. The coyotes are having litters now and I am getting worried about running across a den.

Have a happy day!
Don't feed the Trolls

#871363 - 03/01/13 10:25 PM Re: Weekend Part 1 [Re: BrownEyedTigre]
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 15321
Loc: Upper Arlington, Ohio
Have a great day Joe, Ana, and everyone else who follows. yay
It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

#871369 - 03/01/13 11:50 PM Re: Weekend Part 1 [Re: gymcandy1]
Lotus777 Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 03/12/06
Posts: 3281
Loc: Oregon
Joe, you really are seriously funny. Ana, have fun with the dogs. Today would have been a great day to run the dogs at the beach. It was cloudy and warmer and no wind. Hi Space, I hope you are enjoying your weekend. To all who follow, I wish you a wonderful day and Happy Gaming!! wave
Life is like a hot bath. It feels good while you’re in it, but the longer you stay in, the more wrinkled you get.

#871371 - 03/01/13 11:57 PM Re: Weekend Part 1 [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 75349
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
SpaceQ, I hoped your weekend is wonderful!

Lotus, a beach day sounds excellent! I could use one of those as well! What's on your agenda for the weekend?
Don't feed the Trolls

#871375 - 03/02/13 12:35 AM Re: Weekend Part 1 [Re: gymcandy1]
venus Online   content
Staff Reviewer
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 03/07/09
Posts: 7724
Loc: Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Have a terrific Saturday Joe, Ana, Space Quest, Lotus and all who come in after me. wave

Well, I'm off for three days, and what happens? My natural nocturnal tendencies resurface. lol It's late Friday night for me, and I actually have to work Saturday morning for a change, so I'm off to bed now.

Going to wish everyone a happy day while I have a chance, as I may not have time in the morning. wave

Have a great Saturday, everyone. winter
Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?

#871385 - 03/02/13 02:21 AM Re: Weekend Part 1 [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 10027
Loc: Greece
Have a great Saturday Joe, Ana, Space Quest, Lotus,Venus and all who come in later wave
I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

#871386 - 03/02/13 03:31 AM Re: Weekend Part 1 [Re: Haroula]
cailyn Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 01/08/06
Posts: 6145
Loc: Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
Good morning Joe,Ana,Space,Venus,Haroula.Lotus.and all who arrive later waveI wish you all a happy day! Coffee is on with some cr.donut holes,and muffins sherlock
I may not have gone where I intended to go,but I think I have ended up where I need to be.


#871391 - 03/02/13 04:54 AM Re: Weekend Part 1 [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
True Blue Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 22783
Loc: Marlborough USA
dance Good Morning Joe, Ana, SpaceQ, Lotus, Haroula , venus and Cailyn. You all are up late - and up early! Hope is a great Saturday for all! dance

#871405 - 03/02/13 07:22 AM Re: Weekend Part 1 [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 10252
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. Not sure what's on the agenda for the day, but Robert is taking us out to dinner for our Birthdays. They are a week apart, so he's doing it in the middle. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Saturday. Danish, Eggs, Home Fries, English Muffins, and Hot Chcolate in the NC. penguin

#871406 - 03/02/13 07:29 AM Re: Weekend Part 1 [Re: gymcandy1]
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 18262
Loc: Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Joe, Ana, Space, Lotus, Venus, Haroula, Cailyn, Gerry, Connie, and all who come in today I'm wishing a wonderful weekend.

Going out to lunch and fun shopping with youngest daughter today.

#871415 - 03/02/13 08:39 AM Re: Weekend Part 1 [Re: gymcandy1]
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/16/05
Posts: 27714
Loc: Usually up an Alabama Tree
Good morning Joe .. thanks for the great start to my day! See you after work.

Ana, SQF, Lotus, Venus, Haroula, Cailyn, Gerry, Connie, Gail and the rest of the diner gang --> have a wonderful Saturday!

Yes, it's Saturday and have my projects but first I am off to garden, sip and game a little.

Take care all wave
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music

#871435 - 03/02/13 10:15 AM Re: Weekend Part 1 [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 47568
Loc: Alabama
Super Saturday ya'll puppy

It's grey, it's cold. I think that means it's fire time happydance

And coffee time happydance

And surf time happydance
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

#871446 - 03/02/13 11:17 AM Re: Weekend Part 1 [Re: gymcandy1]
flutist Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/17/01
Posts: 11505
Loc: Kirkwood, MO USA
Good morning all.

Got my vacuuming finished. Not sure what is taking place this afternoon. Possible plans to go to Ginny's, get Chinese take out and play more doggy monopoly.

In the meantime, I think I shall play a little.

Everyone have a wonderful day.

Corgis fill your life with Joy, your heart with Love, and your soul with Sunshine.

#871449 - 03/02/13 11:29 AM Re: Weekend Part 1 [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 14623
Loc: northern Wisconsin
Well I'm off for the country to get a hair cut for Sunshine. When I get back I have my great-grandsons birthday party!!! He is a year old now.

Have a wonderful day everybody what ever you do and be safe!!


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