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#871545 - 03/02/13 09:00 PM Weekend Part Sunday
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 30152
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
Reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it.
Jane Wagner, (and Lily Tomlin)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Smart Sayings

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'

14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then, it hit me.

15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said, 'Keep off the Grass.'

16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'

17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

18. It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.

19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

21. A backward poet writes inverse.

22. In democracy, it's your vote that counts. In feudalism, it's your count that votes.

23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

24. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Things To Ponder

1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

5. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

6. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

7. Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't going as ghosts but as mattresses?

8. If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

9. If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him...is he still wrong?

10. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

11. Is there another word for synonym?

12. Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"

13. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"

14. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

15. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

16. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

17. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

18. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

19. Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

20. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

21. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

22. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through ugly bank machines?

23. How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

24. Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

25. What was the best thing before sliced bread?

26. One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.

27. To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated, but not be able to say it.

28. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

29. The older you get, the better you realize you were.

30. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

31. Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.

32. Women like silent men, they think they're listening.

33. Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.

34. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

35. Do pediatricians play miniature golf on Wednesdays?

36. Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?

37. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

38. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

39. If God dropped acid, would he see people?

40. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?

41. If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

42. If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?

43. If you ate pasta and anti-pasta, would you still be hungry?

44. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

45. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. welcome

Welcome to the Weekend-Sabbath Edition. yes

I hope it's Sunday all day long for you guys. thumbsup

It's kinda like Tuesday for me. taz

That's ok. I know I'll probably make it to my weekend before I die.........most likely.

I'll just be so old I'll have to spend all my time off convalescing.

I'm still waiting for the well to run dry from all of this sinus infection/cold/crud.

It has been going on for over a week now. shocked

It's draining me. lol

It's time for me to be one with my pillow now. sleep

Have a happy day everyone.

joe



Edited by gymcandy1 (03/02/13 09:04 PM)
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#871551 - 03/02/13 09:47 PM Re: Weekend Part Sunday [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 65776
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
lol Joe, you crack me up! I hope you are feeling better soonest! Have a wonderful day!

Have a wonderful Sunday everyone. I think I am going to run the dogs, do some grocery shopping and enjoy my day.

Ana wave
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#871559 - 03/02/13 10:50 PM Re: Weekend Part Sunday [Re: BrownEyedTigre]
Space Quest Fan Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 9718
Loc: Columbus,Ohio USA
Enjoy your Sunday Joe and Ana. smile
_________________________
It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

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#871572 - 03/03/13 02:16 AM Re: Weekend Part Sunday [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 8104
Loc: Greece
Good morning Joe,Ana,SQF and all who follow later wave
Have all a great Sunday dance
_________________________
Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.



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#871575 - 03/03/13 02:51 AM Re: Weekend Part Sunday [Re: Haroula]
cailyn Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 01/08/06
Posts: 6096
Loc: Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
Good morning Joe,Ana,Space,Haroula waveJoe hope you get to feeling better soon,Ana enjoy your nice quiet day.I'm off to New Hampshire today but I'll have the coffee ready before I go!Enjoy the day everyone puppy
_________________________
I may not have gone where I intended to go,but I think I have ended up where I need to be.

Sue

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#871577 - 03/03/13 04:55 AM Re: Weekend Part Sunday [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 17620
Loc: Marlborough USA
wave Good Morning Joe, Ana, SpaceQ, Haroula and Cailyn. Joe love the funnies this morning. I hope you get well soon. Ana enjoy a quiet day. SpaceQ and Haroula wishing you a lovely day. Cailyn have a safe trip to New Hampshire. Happy Day wished for all! wave
_________________________
Gerry

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#871582 - 03/03/13 05:13 AM Re: Weekend Part Sunday [Re: gymcandy1]
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 03/07/09
Posts: 5679
Loc: Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Time for another whoosh. Busy day today. Work and then my friend's daughter's birthday party. Hope everyone has a great Sunday. wave

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#871584 - 03/03/13 05:36 AM Re: Weekend Part Sunday [Re: gymcandy1]
Midge Online   happy
Adept Boomer

Registered: 04/30/00
Posts: 14745
Loc: Massachusetts
Good morning. Thanks Joe for your openers. I hope you feel better when you get up. Morning Ana, SQFan, Haroula, Sue, Gerry, venus, and all who come in the diner today. I have another split shift today. It should be rather easy though. They are going to church this morning so I'll be able to leave about an hour early.

Midgie hearts
_________________________
Just do it.

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#871587 - 03/03/13 06:13 AM Re: Weekend Part Sunday [Re: gymcandy1]
GBC Online   content
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 14783
Loc: Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Joe, feel better quickly!

Ana, enjoy your day.

Good morning Space.

Good morning Haroula.

Cailyn, have a safe trip.

Gerry, enjoy whatever plans you make today.

Venus, sounds like a busy day, enjoy.

Midge, glad your day will be on the easy side.

Church this morning then a nice quiet family day!
_________________________
Gail

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#871590 - 03/03/13 07:50 AM Re: Weekend Part Sunday [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Online   content
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 8199
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. Hubby is feeling much better. Joe, I hope you feel better quickly. Breakfast out this morning. To all here and all who follow, have a Great Sunday. Danish, Blueberry Pancakes, Fruit Cups, and Hot Chcolate in the NC. penguin
_________________________
Connie

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#871593 - 03/03/13 08:39 AM Re: Weekend Part Sunday [Re: gymcandy1]
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
True Blue Boomer

Registered: 04/16/05
Posts: 21502
Loc: Usually up an Alabama Tree
Gosh Joe .. I do hope you don't reach the bottom of your well but do defeat the crud!

Morning everyone..wishing you all a blessed Sunday, relaxing, refreshing or productive depending on your needs!

I'm off to garden, surf, sip and game today with L4L laugh

wave
_________________________
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games

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#871644 - 03/03/13 11:53 AM Re: Weekend Part Sunday [Re: gymcandy1]
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 7413
Loc: San Diego, CA
I'm right there with ya Joe on the Sinus Infection Crud stuff. Lost my voice for 3 days now and just starting to be able to communicate a bit. Telephone talking is hilarious. I must have gotten it from you. rotfl Hope you feel all better soon!

Lovely day again. Warm now, then it will be hot for an hour or two and the cold again. Weather can't make up its mind. Perfect earthquake weather for this area. All we need now is some rain (predicted for Thursday) and the conditions are just perfect.

Ninja Kitty was not at breakfast because he caught his own breakfast. Darn him. It was beautiful little finch (yellow breasted). So pretty but it was already dead when I spotted him throwing it into the air and catching it again and again so his siblings could watch and get jealous. He's gone from the yard now so I'm assuming he took his prize down to the back lot and probably is showing off for the back tenant. His kitty died a few months back, but Ninja and his cat used to taunt each other. Indoorsie vs. Outdoorsie Ninja. Na na na na na na. I'm not sure Ninja knows he's gone.

Water bill for this period (2 months billing) was so high I screamed out loud. Dunno why the extra water usage. I'm trying to conserve. Will check on the tenants. If it doesn't go down next time, I'll do a thorough check for pipe breaks. Horrible to pay almost 200 bucks for 3 houses over a 2 month cycle! 10 years ago, the water bill was half that. Also a lot of rate hikes, but I always go on the 'daily usage average' in gallons and figure how many people and how many visitors in that cycle. This time, only ONE visitor and only 3 days so it's not that. Ugh!
_________________________
WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.

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#871654 - 03/03/13 12:12 PM Re: Weekend Part Sunday [Re: Sorta Blonde]
Darlene Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/10/00
Posts: 9479
Loc: Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Have a great Sunday and hope you are feeling better very soon!!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

An easy peasy day is planned!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
_________________________
You become what you think about. Change your thoughts, change your life. - Dko

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#871655 - 03/03/13 12:12 PM Re: Weekend Part Sunday [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 65776
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Off to run the dogs and then my neighbor is taking my truck to see what broke. It makes a very very ugly noise the last few days so I can only drive within a couple miles so I can walk home if need be. We are expecting up to a foot of snow Tuesday so I need to get it running so Peter can drive it and use the 4 wheel drive to go to work.

On the positive side, I woke up headache free! yay

Be back later..
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#871656 - 03/03/13 12:13 PM Re: Weekend Part Sunday [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42636
Loc: Alabama
Sorta, rotfl My water bill for one house per month is usually at least $50.00 and we try to use it intelligently.

Kids are here, life is noisy. Coffeeeeeee!!!!!
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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