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#871751 - 03/03/13 07:57 PM Monday
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 30028
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me.
Benjamin Disraeli (1804 - 1881)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tombstone Humor
These epitaphs are reported to be from actual tombstones...


On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia:
Here lies
Ezekial Aikle
Age 102
The Good
Die Young.



In a London, England cemetery:
Ann Mann
Here lies Ann Mann,
Who lived an old maid
But died an old Mann.
Dec. 8, 1767



In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:
Anna Wallace
The children of Israel wanted bread
And the Lord sent them manna,
Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,
And the Devil sent him Anna.



Playing with names in a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:
Here lies
Johnny Yeast
Pardon me
For not rising.



Memory of an accident in a Uniontown, Pennsylvania cemetery:
Here lies the body
of Jonathan Blake
Stepped on the gas
Instead of the brake.



In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery:
Here lays Butch,
We planted him raw.
He was quick on the trigger,
But slow on the draw.



A widow wrote this epitaph in a Vermont cemetery:
Sacred to the memory of
my husband John Barnes
who died January 3, 1803
His comely young widow, aged 23, has
many qualifications of a good wife, and
yearns to be comforted.



A lawyer's epitaph in England:
Sir John Strange
Here lies an honest lawyer,
And that is Strange.



Someone determined to be anonymous in Stowe, Vermont:
I was somebody.
Who, is no business
Of yours.



Lester Moore was a Wells, Fargo Co. station agent for Naco, Arizona in the cowboy days of the 1880's. He's buried in the Boot Hill Cemetery in Tombstone, Arizona:
Here lies Lester Moore
Four slugs from a .44
No Les No More.



In a Georgia cemetery:
"I told you I was sick!"



John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery:
Reader if cash thou art
In want of any
Dig 4 feet deep
And thou wilt find a Penny.



On Margaret Daniels grave at Hollywood Cemetery Richmond, Virginia:
She always said her feet were killing her
but nobody believed her.



In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England:
On the 22nd of June
- Jonathan Fiddle -
Went out of tune.



Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls, Vermont has an epitaph that sounds like something from a Three Stooges movie:
Here lies the body of our Anna
Done to death by a banana
It wasn't the fruit that laid her low
But the skin of the thing that made her go.



More fun with names with Owen Moore in Battersea, London, England:
Gone away
Owin' more
Than he could pay.



Someone in Winslow, Maine didn't like Mr. Wood:
In Memory of Beza Wood
Departed this life
Nov. 2, 1837
Aged 45 yrs.
Here lies one Wood
Enclosed in wood
One Wood
Within another.
The outer wood
Is very good:
We cannot praise
The other.



On a grave from the 1880's in Nantucket, Massachusetts:
Under the sod and under the trees
Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
He is not here, there's only the pod:
Pease shelled out and went to God.



The grave of Ellen Shannon in Girard, Pennsylvania is almost a consumer tip:
Who was fatally burned
March 21, 1870
by the explosion of a lamp
filled with "R.E. Danforth's
Non-Explosive Burning Fluid"



Oops! Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York:
Born 1903--Died 1942
Looked up the elevator shaft to see if
the car was on the way down. It was.



In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:
Here lies an Atheist
All dressed up
And no place to go.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tongue Twisters
We've all at one time or another given our best try at tongue twisters, have a look through this funny list and see how you do...

Randy wondered why Willie really wasn't well.

Sam saw six shiny silver spoons.

Giddy gophers greedily gobble gooey goodies.

Slippery slimy snakes slide slowly.

Six shiny snails sighed sadly.

Pretty Patty Piggy pickles plump pink peppers.

Cheryl say Cher's sheer shawl Sunday.

Six seals slick sick seals.

How much dope could the dope dealer deal if the dope dealer could deal dope?

Sheep shouldn't sleep in shacks.

I slitted a sheet, a sheet i slit now i sit on the sheet i slit.

I wish I had an Irish wrist watch to watch on my Irish wrist.

Stick a sticker where its sticky where a sticker once was stuck.

She sells sea shells by the sea shore

Sure, the ship's ship-shape sir!

Does the wristwatch shop shut soon?

Try saying these 10 times fast...

Caution Golfers Crossing

Sun Shine City

Toy Boat

Unique New York

Mixed Biscuits

Red Leather, Yellow Leather
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning city boomies, country boomies, everyboomie. welcome

Come one come all. The coffee's ready to sip or chug y'all. thumbsup

Take it with cream or sugar or black as night. cool

Take it with an IV or with a straw. Either way is alright. yes

Leaded, unleaded, or super charged. Mented, whipped, or on the rocks. taz

Enjoy it barefoot or wearing socks. penguin

One of the best things for breakfast you know, is a great tasting, sweet smelling, cup-o-joe.

OH and......Have a happy day, ok? wink

It'll be a 3:30 wake up for me, so I'm off to bed to saw some Zs. sleep

joe


Edited by gymcandy1 (03/03/13 07:58 PM)
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#871756 - 03/03/13 08:28 PM Re: Monday [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Online   happy
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 64961
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Joe, don't saw too loud or your sis won't be able to sleep. lol That is an ungodly hour to get up for work. Heck, I don't even want to get up that early for something fun.
I hope your day goes well and you find lots of reasons to smile. hearts

I will be back in the corner at some point today but I am going back to Salsa Funk class tonight. woot Finally!

Have a happy day everyone!

Ana wave
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#871787 - 03/04/13 02:35 AM Re: Monday [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 7679
Loc: Greece
Good morning Joe,Ana and all who come in later wave
Have all a nice day happydance
_________________________

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.



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#871793 - 03/04/13 04:11 AM Re: Monday [Re: Haroula]
cailyn Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 01/08/06
Posts: 6046
Loc: Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
Good morning Joe,Ana,Haroula waveCoffee is on it's back to the gym for me too Ana,I've been slscking off way to long.Wish everyone a great day puppy
_________________________
I may not have gone where I intended to go,but I think I have ended up where I need to be.

Sue

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#871795 - 03/04/13 05:28 AM Re: Monday [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 17171
Loc: Marlborough USA
wave Good Morning Jo, Ana, Haroula, and Cailyn. Loved the humor this morning Joe. lol Ana don't work to hard! yes Have a sunny day Haroula. smile Cailyn how was your trip to New Hampshire? cat Wishing everyone a stress free day. wave
_________________________
Gerry

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#871800 - 03/04/13 06:05 AM Re: Monday [Re: gymcandy1]
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 03/07/09
Posts: 5427
Loc: Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Hello and goodbye. wave

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#871802 - 03/04/13 06:20 AM Re: Monday [Re: gymcandy1]
GBC Online   content
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 14441
Loc: Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Joe, Early day for you.

Ana, enjoy Salsa Funk tonight.

Haroula, happy day to you!

Cailyn, enjoy back to the gym. Glad your ambition is back.

Gerry, a sress free day wished for you also.

Venus, good workday to you.

To all who come in.....good morning!

Statr to another week. 5 more weeks of Radiation left. A piece of cake next to the former treatments. woot Be back later.
_________________________
Gail

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#871805 - 03/04/13 07:13 AM Re: Monday [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 8075
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. Not sure if we will go to the bank and BJ's today or tomorrow. To all here and all who follow, have a Great Monday. Danish, Waffles, and Hot Chcolate in the NC. penguin
_________________________
Connie

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#871831 - 03/04/13 09:57 AM Re: Monday [Re: connie]
Darlene Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/10/00
Posts: 9366
Loc: Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! So love your openers! That's an early time to rise! Ouch! Hope your day goes easy peasy!

Hey, Gail! Hope these next five weeks go as well as can be! hearts

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
_________________________
You become what you think about. Change your thoughts, change your life. - Dko

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#871860 - 03/04/13 12:40 PM Re: Monday [Re: gymcandy1]
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 7232
Loc: San Diego, CA
Thanks Joe for my morning tongue exercises. Yikes!

Good news and bad news on the neighbor's son's cats that he wanted me to adopt. Good news is they got adopted. Bad news is my Neighbor adopted them. Sigh. He couldn't refuse the son who he still gives money to even though the kid hasn't lived here since he was 2 and now he's in his mid 30's and STILL in college.

Anyway, I will probably end up with 2 new cats eating at my feeder and sleeping in the cat tents before long. Oh well, I tried. At least my neighbor is doing the right thing for the kitties. He told me their names and descriptions (descriptions are not even close to what one looks like). I spotted that one just now over the fence looking at me like 'who are youuuuu?'. He's a long hair (neighbor forgot to tell me that detail which would have helped a lot. Looks very pretty 10 months old neutered. Other one is mostly black too he says. I'm wondering if it's a long hair too. And it's a girl (spayed). He says they sleep in their cat carriers at night outside his back door and he lets them in for hugging and food, etc. They have never been outside since birth! Hope they learn the fun stuff to do with all the birds and mice and that if they do venture over here (it's just a matter of time) that they get along with all the outdoorises. Ohhhhh! We shall see what the pecking order will be. Hoping for the best for those little guys! I'll do what I can to coach the neighbor, who has never had a cat, ever. He's gonna have an interesting life from here on. I'm trying to convince him to let them remain indoor cats. He's not sure he wants to but they are litter trained etc and it would be so simple. Yup.
_________________________
WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.

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#871861 - 03/04/13 12:45 PM Re: Monday [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Online   content
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42278
Loc: Alabama
Magnificent Monday ya'll puppy

I had to be up and out early. Needed a bunch of new scripts for chronic conditions. Of course, they just changed me to a new doc who would not give me scripts without me being there. I did not like her even one little bit. I loved my last doc sad

Anyway, eventually I got some of the meds and picked them and picked up hubby's meds too. Now I need to record the numbers and when they need to be refilled.

Cable guy coming this afternoon. Our phone has always had bad moments since we switched it to cable. And our cable was up and down and laggggggggy yesterday.

Doggies were more than anxious to have breakfast when I got home. Son is working nights so have to keep the 4 legged ones quiet as son's bedroom is right at the dog barking spot.

Gail, I hope the treatments go well and you will be finished soonest.

Ana, how is your toe? Have fun tonight.
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#871863 - 03/04/13 12:48 PM Re: Monday [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Online   content
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 13647
Loc: northern Wisconsin
Well, Mother Nature, Bring it on....I am ready!!! lol They are talking about a winter storm warning till 6pm tomorrow. Got up and ran errands and picked up things one doesn't want to run out of in a storm.

Joe enjoy your day and remember....only one more till time off!! thanks for the laughs.

Ana enjoy your frre time while you can. Hope the project moves right along for you! Enjoy class tonight!! Must mean that your toe is finally feeling better.

wave Haroula, Gerry, venus, Cailyn! Have a lovely day!

Gail may those five weeks fly by and all go smoothly for you! HUGS! Have a lovely day!

Connie thanks for the danish and have fun what ever you do!!

Darlene may all go smoothly today!!

wave
Nan

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#871886 - 03/04/13 03:53 PM Re: Monday [Re: gymcandy1]
Space Quest Fan Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 9531
Loc: Columbus,Ohio USA
Good afternoon Boomers. Enjoy the rest of your day. smile
_________________________
It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

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#871895 - 03/04/13 04:40 PM Re: Monday [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 7679
Loc: Greece
sleep wave
_________________________

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.



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#871901 - 03/04/13 06:18 PM Re: Monday [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Online   happy
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 64961
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Good afternoon boomies. I had a nonstop catch up day while waiting to get back in the corner but it'd delayed until tomorrow. yay I am now getting ready to head to class in a little bit. I can't wait to dance again. woot

I hear the winter storm is on it's way too. Anywhere from 6-12 inches. It will be pretty and won't last long so I won't complain. grin

I was unloading groceries from the back of my truck this afternoon and my truck slid down the driveway on the ice and almost ran me over. eek It went 6 feet before I could get the drivers door open and stomp on the emergency brake. lol

Hope you all are enjoying your day!
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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