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#872183 - 03/06/13 01:45 AM Hump Day
gymcandy1 Online   happy
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 30108
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home.
Bill Cosby (1937 - )
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Drunken Language
Things That Are Difficult To Say When You're Drunk

1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon

Things That Are Very Difficult To Say When You're Drunk

1. Specificity
2. Anti-constitutionalistically
3. Passive-aggressive disorder
4. Transubstantiate

Things That Are Downright Impossible To Say When You're Drunk

1. Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.
2. Nope, no more booze for me!
3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.
4. Taco Bell? No thanks, I'm not hungry.
5. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight?
6. Oh, I couldn't! No one wants to hear me sing karaoke.
7. I'm not interested in fighting you.
8. Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have no coordination. I'd hate to look like a fool!
9. Where is the nearest bathroom? I refuse to go in this parking lot or on the road side.
10. I must be going home now as I have to work in the morning.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Driving Styles
Depending on where someone is from and where they are driving you can make some assumptions about their driving styles and etiquette...

Chicago: One hand on wheel, one hand on horn.

New York: One hand on wheel, one finger out window.

New Jersey: One hand on wheel, one finger out window, cutting across all lanes of traffic.

Boston: One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator.

Scarborough, Ontario: Both hands clenched on steering wheel, driver staring directly forward, cutting in front of you and slowing down to 40 in a 60 zone then looking in rearview mirror in wonder as to why the car behind is flashing high beams.

Los Angeles: One hand on wheel, one hand on nonfat double decaf cappuccino, cradling cell phone, brick on accelerator with gun in lap

Ohio, but driving in California: Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror.

Italy: Both hands in air and gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in back seat.

Seattle: One hand on latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell phone, foot on brake, mind on game.

Texas: One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between both feet being on the accelerator and both feet on the brake, throwing a McDonald's bag out the window.

West Virginia: Four-wheel drive pickup truck, shotgun mounted in rear window, beer cans on floor, squirrel tails attached to antenna.

Florida: Two hands gripping wheel, blue hair barely visible above window level, driving 35 on the Interstate in the left lane with the left blinker on.

Edmonton: One gloved hand on wheel, one hand on heater, feet up underneath bum to keep warm, 3 differently decorated ice scrapers, one plastic, broken; one steel, broken; one pastel, hidden in trunk. neither foot on accelerator or brakes because with all the ice on the roads, you're all moving at the same speed either way.

Dubuque, Iowa: no use of turn signal, or left on for 26 blocks...also cradling cheap cell phone.

Maine: Beat up 1983 Dodge Ram pick-up truck, right hand holding a Dunkin Donuts coffee, cigarette dangling from mouth, greasy hair shoved underneath an oil stained cap and classic rock blaring from the radio.

Pennsylvania: Both hands on reigns.

California: (Bay Area / Silicon Valley) One hand on laptop computer, one hand at on-board navigation/Internet console installed in dash board, cell phone attached to head with microphone earpiece, having a executive meeting with half a dozen people on speaker phone, palm pilot wedged between knees to observe up to date stock quotes, and shoes kicked off, and feet crossed because traffic hasn't moved in the past hour.

Montana: One finger on steering wheel of jacked up 4x4, Charlie Daniels blaring from speakers, dead coyote in back, hay leaves blowing out of bed while going down the highway.

Nebraska: Two hands on wheel, with head lodged up behind, chunks of rust falling off by the pound.

Quebec: engaged in heated political discussion with espresso in one hand and croissant in the other, aiming for pedestrians who have the mistaken notion that crosswalks are for them.

Michigan: Both hands on wheel and head up behind.

Toronto: Both hands on the wheel, seat as far forward as possible, head fixed only looking forward, ignoring people behind and beside you, stopping and waiting for the road to fully clear before making any forward progress.

Los Angeles: Lowered Honda, can't see over dash, driving too fast or too slow, car sounds like a bee as it goes by.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everybody. wave

It's really late and I'm about two blinks away from being out cold. sleep

I hope my forehead lands on "submit" if I pass out.

I think maybe I'll mosey on back to my bedroom , get in bed, fall asleep, and be one with the universe. cool

Hopefully I'll get spaced out and escape the gravity of this planet. dance

Ok, I'm over and out. happydance

Have a happy day everyone. rah

joe
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#872186 - 03/06/13 02:44 AM Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 7972
Loc: Greece
Good morning boomers,have all a lovely day wave
The house is like a bombing place so...
but we had such a fan happydance
_________________________
Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.



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#872189 - 03/06/13 04:17 AM Re: Hump Day [Re: Haroula]
cailyn Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 01/08/06
Posts: 6071
Loc: Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
Good morning Joe,Haroula wave Coffee is on have a great day everyone winter
_________________________
I may not have gone where I intended to go,but I think I have ended up where I need to be.

Sue

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#872190 - 03/06/13 05:09 AM Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 17470
Loc: Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, Haroula and Cailyn. Joe hope you have pleasant dreams! sleep Haroula sounds like you all had a fun day yesterday. yes Cailyn thanks for the coffee. wave A fantastic Day wished for all! dance dance
_________________________
Gerry

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#872196 - 03/06/13 06:12 AM Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
Midge Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 04/30/00
Posts: 14713
Loc: Massachusetts
Good morning. We're getting a lot of rain for the next 2 or 3 days. It'll turn into a rain/snow mix on and off. Ana it looks like you'll be getting a huge amount of snow. Wow! Back to winter for some. Stay safe everyone. Morning Joe. Thanks for opening for us. Nan thanks so much for the BB pancakes. I've missed having them for breakfast, yummmm. Morning Haroula, Sue, Gerry, and all who follow me in. I have a doctor's appointment this morning to find out what the heck is going on with my nose and sinuses.

Have a great day all. I have today off. I was supposed to go see my Mom today but with all the bad weather I'll try and make it next week. Thinking about my BIL this morning. I hope the doctors there don't find cancer. My heart is hurting for him. sad

Midgie hearts
_________________________
Just do it.

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#872214 - 03/06/13 08:11 AM Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 8161
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. Midge, prayers for you, your BIL, and sis are on the way. hearts Good luck with the DR. visit. I'm not sure what's on the agenda for the day yet. To all here and all who follow, have a Great Hump day. Danish, French Toast, Muffins, and Hot Chcolate in the NC. penguin
_________________________
Connie

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#872216 - 03/06/13 08:27 AM Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
GBC Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 14696
Loc: Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Joe, thanks for the laughs.

Haroula, sounds like a housework day is ahead for you.

Cailyn, thanks for the coffee.

Gerry, have a nice day!

Midgie, my area is in for maybe a foot of that white stuff with high winds. I thought winter was over. Good luck at the docs.

Connie, Enjoy whatever you decide to do today.

Off to Rad. Be back later. Storm coming in tonight. Wishing everyone a wonderful day!
_________________________
Gail

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#872223 - 03/06/13 09:00 AM Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 03/07/09
Posts: 5614
Loc: Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Joe, looks like your forehead managed to find the Submit button. lol Hope you got a good night's sleep.

Glad you had fun, Haroula. thumbsup

Have a great day, too, Cailyn.

A fantastic day to you as well, Gerry.

Hope your BIL's appointment goes well, Midge!!

Hope you find something fun to do today, Connie.

Hope the storm isn't too bad for you, Gail! We were supposed to get a lot of snow here, too, but I haven't seen any yet.

I'm off today. We were supposed to have several feet of snow, but so far, we haven't gotten anything. I have to say, I'm disappointed. wink Since it's my day off, it would have been nice to have some pretty snow to look at from my window while I played my game(s). The timing would have been perfect. Plus, we've hardly had any snow at all this winter, even though it's been cold. Oh, well, I suppose this gray and dreary day goes well, with Still Life, so maybe I'll play that one. grin

Hope everyone has a terrific Wednesday. cat

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#872234 - 03/06/13 10:02 AM Re: Hump Day [Re: venus]
Darlene Online   content
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/10/00
Posts: 9441
Loc: Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Hope your Hump Day is happy! rah

Midgie, prayers of strength going up for you, your BIL and sis, your Mum! hearts

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
_________________________
You become what you think about. Change your thoughts, change your life. - Dko

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#872252 - 03/06/13 11:55 AM Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 7352
Loc: San Diego, CA
LOVE the driving jokes, Joe! Trying to decide which state I should move to for my driving style. rotfl

Road work should be done today so the signs say. I hear light motor something working. Street is sanded over new blacktop but open to traffic. No idea if they will actually be done, but I doubt all the 'little' things are finished. AND there are those rainwater drains which have yet to be 'activated'. A crew from the selling company has to come by with all sorts of 'fill' to make an ecofriendly filter and then plant a tree in each one. Lucky if those trees survive a few months since ours are broken, dying, and some have been replaced. Dunno. Small, flowering, trees that you have to detour out of the way on the sidewalk to avoid being whacked in the head. Nice planning!

Beautiful day here. They say it's gonna rain about 3/4 to 1 1/2 inches here. Ummmmm. Not from what I see. Must be a 'stealth' storm.

Off to count cats. All mine are here, and the new interlopers seem to be settling into their yard 'territory'. Very interesting to watch. Still keeping my eye on those guys and hoping that my ferals will take them under their guidance. If so, I'll just ask the neighbor to help out on the food bill. I'm sure he has no idea that putting food out for 'his' cats, will encourage the raccoons and possums to eat it all up every night. Yup. Lots to learn, not to mention ANTS. Tricky system keeping ants off the food dishes. I've perfected it without endangering the kitties with massive sprays. Oh well...off to the war.
_________________________
WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.

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#872266 - 03/06/13 12:56 PM Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 13751
Loc: northern Wisconsin
Joe thanks for the chuckles and hope you slept well.

Haroula what's a mess to clean if ya all had fun!! lol Have a happy day!

Cailyn thanks for the coffee!! Have a good one!

Gerry have a nice day!

Midge best of luck at the doc appointment. Prayers for your BIL!! HUGS to you all!

Connie have fun what ever pops up to do!! Thanks fpr the danish!

venus enjoy the day off and Happy Gaming!! Hope you get a little snow to enjoy!! Plenty here if ya want some. lol

Darlene may all go smoothly today! have a lovely day!

Sorta good luck with the cat situation!! Be safe in the rain, if it arrives!! lol

No plans till taxi time.

wave
Nan

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#872267 - 03/06/13 12:58 PM Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42508
Loc: Alabama
Wonderful Wednesday ya'll puppy

It is sunny but chilly out there today. I sadly have to go back to the dentist...eek...eeek...and triple eeeeeeek! Going to the dentist always makes me sick, so will most likely come home and go directly to bed. But maybe not! I was thinking of taking a hammer with me so they could bonk me on the head and put me out, then wake me when they are all done. :thinking:

I have synced my book and my audiobook so I can try to distract myself...yea, that's gonna work. rotfl wave
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#872268 - 03/06/13 01:04 PM Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
Midge Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 04/30/00
Posts: 14713
Loc: Massachusetts
Back from Dr's appointment. I do have a sinus infection after all. She put me on an antibiotic. It should clear up in a couple of days. I'm also using Simply Saline. It's a nasal spray. It helps. My nose isn't quite so dry. Thanks for all your prayers and good thoughts. I'm waiting to hear from BIL to find out anything new. Boy with my DIL's Dad and now my BIL, both fighting cancer it brings it all back when my hubby was fight for his life with lung cancer. Scary.

Midgie hearts
_________________________
Just do it.

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#872295 - 03/06/13 03:40 PM Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 65499
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Good afternoon boomies! It's a busy corner day for me so I can't stay but I hope you all are having a wonderful day.
Stay safe to those who are getting our snow. We have ten inches here and it's beautiful!
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#872298 - 03/06/13 03:55 PM Re: Hump Day [Re: BrownEyedTigre]
Space Quest Fan Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 9645
Loc: Columbus,Ohio USA
Ana we got about six inches of snow which is a lot for us. winter
_________________________
It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

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