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#872354 - 03/07/13 12:02 AM Thursday's
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 29983
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation.
Plato (427 BC - 347 BC)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cow Economy

TRADITIONAL CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.

JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowikimon and market them worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are... You break for lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows... both are mad.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows... and the one on the left is kinda cute...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Check out these types of crossbred dogs...

Pointer + Setter = Poinsetter, a traditional Christmas pet

Kerry Blue Terrier + Skye Terrier = Blue Skye, a dog for visionaries

Great Pyrenees + Dachshund = Pyradachs, a puzzling breed

Pekingnese + Lhasa Apso = Peekasso, an abstract dog

Irish Water Spaniel + English Springer Spaniel = Irish Springer, a dog fresh and clean as a whistle

Labrador Retriever + Curly Coated Retriever = Lab Coat Retriever, the choice of research scientists everywhere

Newfoundland + Basset Hound = Newfound Asset Hound, a dog for financial advisors

Terrier + Bulldog = Terribull, a dog that makes awful mistakes

Bloodhound + Labrador = Blabador, a dog that barks incessantly

Malamute + Pointer = Moot Point, a dog that....oh, well, it doesn't matter anyway

Collie + Malamute = Commute, a dog that travels to work

Deerhound + Terrier = Derriere, a dog that's true to the end

Bull Terrier + Shitzu = Bullshitz, a gregarious but unreliable breed
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


The following are a sampling of REAL answers received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation's driving school...

Q. Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?
A. What for? He can't see my license plate.

Q. Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time?
A. The pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, "Guns don't kill people. I do."

Q. What are the important safety tips to remember when backing your car?
A. Always wear a condom.

Q. When driving through fog, what should you use?
A. Your car.

Q. How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident?
A. Be too drunk faced to find your keys.

Q. What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving?
A. I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster.

Q. What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully?
A. I would be forced to drive unlawfully.

Q. What are some points to remember when passing or being passed?
A. Make eye contact and wave "hello" if they're cute.

Q. What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light?
A. The color.

Q. How do you deal with heavy traffic?
A. Heavy psychedelics.

Q. What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem?
A. Carry loaded military grade weapons.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

Good morning all you crazy kids out there. dance

Rise & shine. penguin

It's day two of my two day weekend, and I hope it last all day long. happydance

headscratch

Well, I could hope it last all week long but that's just dumb eh? snicker

Actually it's bitter sweet due to the factoid that tomorrow's work day begins at 5:00am, which means that today's leisure will conclude earlier. Swell! rolleyes

Well all's well that ends swell. wink

Have a happy day everyone. yes

joe
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#872357 - 03/07/13 12:28 AM Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1]
niteowl07 Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 11/06/05
Posts: 7406
Loc: the dusty desert
aww joe ,you sure have some goofy hours for work. hope someone makes you chuckle ! thanks for the coffee and jokes.

Have a swell day ,everyone ! wave

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#872365 - 03/07/13 02:32 AM Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 7605
Loc: Greece
Good morning everyone wavecloudy but still
warm day here.
Today is a day that traditionally we eat meat,is like your halloween yes
Have all a happy day happydance
birthdayConnie


Edited by Haroula (03/07/13 06:40 AM)
_________________________

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.



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#872376 - 03/07/13 04:42 AM Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 17001
Loc: Marlborough USA
winter Good Morning Joe and haroula. It is snowing pretty heavy here this morning. We are expecting 6 inches of snow. The wind is howling out there. Hope we don't loose power! Coffee is on Cailyn. Wishing everyone a warm and cozy day! winter
_________________________
Gerry

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#872384 - 03/07/13 05:04 AM Re: Thursday's [Re: Kaki's Sister]
cailyn Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 01/08/06
Posts: 6027
Loc: Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
Good morning Joe,Niteowl,Haroula,Gerry waveHi Gerry thanks for putting the coffee on,the wind is howling here also with rain hopeing it doesn'turn to snow winterThere's Birthday cake for Connie to go with the coffee!Have a great day everyone shiver
_________________________
I may not have gone where I intended to go,but I think I have ended up where I need to be.

Sue

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#872387 - 03/07/13 05:21 AM Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 17001
Loc: Marlborough USA
wave Good Morning Cailyn. Happy Birthday to Connie! Birthday cake sounds good Cailyn. Happy Day wished for all! wave
_________________________
Gerry

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#872392 - 03/07/13 06:15 AM Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1]
Midge Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 04/30/00
Posts: 14600
Loc: Massachusetts
Good morning. I have to go to the Boston Pain Clinic this morning. Not looking forward to the drive. It's pouring out there. Nan can I borrow your Band of Angels for my trip pleaseandthankyou?

Have a great day everyone. Please stay safe.

Midgie hearts
_________________________
Just do it.

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#872398 - 03/07/13 06:28 AM Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1]
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 03/07/09
Posts: 5329
Loc: Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Hello and goodbye. wave

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#872402 - 03/07/13 06:48 AM Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1]
GBC Online   content
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 14327
Loc: Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Joe, sorry your time off won't last too much longer.

Niteowl, good morning.

Haroula, enjoy your tradition.

Gerry, same weather here. Don't know why school is open cause they'll be sending them home early I'm sure.

Cailyn, careful of flooding in your area.

Midgie, safe driving wished for you today. We're getting all snow in my area.

Venus, have a nice workday.

Connie, birthday

Road travel doesn't look that great this morning but I have to go. Be back later. winter
_________________________
Gail

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#872407 - 03/07/13 07:53 AM Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 8023
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. Thanks for the Birthday wishes. Cailyn, thanks for the Birthday cake. Midge and Gail, be safe on the road. SIL, is taking us out to dinner tonight. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Thursday. Danish, French Toast, and Hot Chcolate to go with my Birthday cake in the NC. penguin
_________________________
Connie

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#872433 - 03/07/13 10:04 AM Re: Thursday's [Re: connie]
Darlene Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/10/00
Posts: 9330
Loc: Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Hope this day is exactly as you'd like it to be!

birthday Connie! Woohoo and booyah!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
_________________________
You become what you think about. Change your thoughts, change your life. - Dko

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#872447 - 03/07/13 10:50 AM Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42177
Loc: Alabama
Thumping Good Thursday ya'll puppy

I'm enjoying a semi-quiet morning of sipping and surfing which will be followed by vacuuming and laundry in a bit. wave
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#872448 - 03/07/13 10:52 AM Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1]
flutist Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/17/01
Posts: 11379
Loc: Kirkwood, MO USA
Good morning everyone.

I'll add some yummy honey to Connie's french toast. birthday m'dear.

A little cold out today but the sun is shining very brightly. Ah, sunshine.

Guess what we all get to do Sat. nite. Anyone getting up at 2 a.m. to set their clocks forward?

Got some chicken out for dinner tonight. Bill wanted chicken fixed in gravy with potatoes thrown in. Yummy.

I hope everyone has a wonderful day today.

Bets
_________________________
Corgis fill your life with Joy, your heart with Love, and your soul with Sunshine.

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#872451 - 03/07/13 11:00 AM Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1]
my10rugrats Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 08/05/06
Posts: 3340
Loc: kansas
may not of have french toast to eat for breakfast, but did have a nice cup of golden french toast coffee this morning . the aroma fills my kitchen when it is making

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#872460 - 03/07/13 12:00 PM Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1]
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 7156
Loc: San Diego, CA
So today's experiment in cat psychology went terribly wrong again. After all the cat stuff in the last few days, which culminated with my oldest Outdoorsie coming to the FRONT door of my house (a thing she never does). I followed her around back and discovered that HER cozy tent was occupied by one of the ferals. This is the second time this has happened. Usually she camps out in whichever of the two tents is empty and the ferals group in only one tent. Two tents, no room at the inn. So I scooted the ferals out and put good old Spot in and all was well once again. SMART cat. This is the second time she did this, coming to the front porch, behavior. Wow. I'm learning!

So after that, and thinking it's going to pour rain, etc. and she's so old and her partner died awhile back and she's probably lonely, I decided to try to bring her inside for the rest of her life. I figured my Indoorsie, Bubba, who lost his only partner too, might like the company. I started out by letting them sniff noses through the door. Seemed OK. Then I carried Spot through the house. She was very very interested in 'inside'. So this morning, after Bubba was fed, and happy, I brought Spot in to the back room and set her at the food dish. She was not happy and went roaming through the house towards the front door. Bubba met her, he meowed (sorta friendly) but Spot howled and growled and ran for the back door escape route. I picked her up, get her purring and set her back outside where she was obviously soooo happy now. Not gonna try that one again. Guess my plan of a 'happy retirement' for Spot wasn't what she wanted.

In better news, the interlopers, new cats on the block at the neighbors, seem to be staying on 'their' side of the fence. I think my Outdoorsies have stated the rules to them. Neighbor says he is getting the potty box and scratching post from the son who gave him the cats. Hope so. Still expecting heavy rain tonight and want those poor kitties snug and warm inside or under something dry.

Off to watch the Arias trial. Fascinating.
_________________________
WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.

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