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Thursday's #872354
03/07/13 01:02 AM
03/07/13 01:02 AM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation.
Plato (427 BC - 347 BC)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cow Economy

TRADITIONAL CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.

JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowikimon and market them worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are... You break for lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows... both are mad.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows... and the one on the left is kinda cute...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Check out these types of crossbred dogs...

Pointer + Setter = Poinsetter, a traditional Christmas pet

Kerry Blue Terrier + Skye Terrier = Blue Skye, a dog for visionaries

Great Pyrenees + Dachshund = Pyradachs, a puzzling breed

Pekingnese + Lhasa Apso = Peekasso, an abstract dog

Irish Water Spaniel + English Springer Spaniel = Irish Springer, a dog fresh and clean as a whistle

Labrador Retriever + Curly Coated Retriever = Lab Coat Retriever, the choice of research scientists everywhere

Newfoundland + Basset Hound = Newfound Asset Hound, a dog for financial advisors

Terrier + Bulldog = Terribull, a dog that makes awful mistakes

Bloodhound + Labrador = Blabador, a dog that barks incessantly

Malamute + Pointer = Moot Point, a dog that....oh, well, it doesn't matter anyway

Collie + Malamute = Commute, a dog that travels to work

Deerhound + Terrier = Derriere, a dog that's true to the end

Bull Terrier + Shitzu = Bullshitz, a gregarious but unreliable breed
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


The following are a sampling of REAL answers received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation's driving school...

Q. Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?
A. What for? He can't see my license plate.

Q. Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time?
A. The pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, "Guns don't kill people. I do."

Q. What are the important safety tips to remember when backing your car?
A. Always wear a condom.

Q. When driving through fog, what should you use?
A. Your car.

Q. How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident?
A. Be too drunk faced to find your keys.

Q. What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving?
A. I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster.

Q. What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully?
A. I would be forced to drive unlawfully.

Q. What are some points to remember when passing or being passed?
A. Make eye contact and wave "hello" if they're cute.

Q. What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light?
A. The color.

Q. How do you deal with heavy traffic?
A. Heavy psychedelics.

Q. What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem?
A. Carry loaded military grade weapons.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

Good morning all you crazy kids out there. dance

Rise & shine. penguin

It's day two of my two day weekend, and I hope it last all day long. happydance

headscratch

Well, I could hope it last all week long but that's just dumb eh? snicker

Actually it's bitter sweet due to the factoid that tomorrow's work day begins at 5:00am, which means that today's leisure will conclude earlier. Swell! rolleyes

Well all's well that ends swell. wink

Have a happy day everyone. yes

joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1] #872357
03/07/13 01:28 AM
03/07/13 01:28 AM
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 9,029
the dusty desert
niteowl07 Offline
BAAG Specialist
niteowl07  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 9,029
the dusty desert
aww joe ,you sure have some goofy hours for work. hope someone makes you chuckle ! thanks for the coffee and jokes.

Have a swell day ,everyone ! wave

Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1] #872365
03/07/13 03:32 AM
03/07/13 03:32 AM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer
Haroula  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Good morning everyone wavecloudy but still
warm day here.
Today is a day that traditionally we eat meat,is like your halloween yes
Have all a happy day happydance
birthdayConnie

Last edited by Haroula; 03/07/13 07:40 AM.

I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1] #872376
03/07/13 05:42 AM
03/07/13 05:42 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
winter Good Morning Joe and haroula. It is snowing pretty heavy here this morning. We are expecting 6 inches of snow. The wind is howling out there. Hope we don't loose power! Coffee is on Cailyn. Wishing everyone a warm and cozy day! winter


Gerry
Re: Thursday's [Re: Kaki's Sister] #872384
03/07/13 06:04 AM
03/07/13 06:04 AM
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,145
Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
cailyn Offline
BAAG Specialist
cailyn  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,145
Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
Good morning Joe,Niteowl,Haroula,Gerry waveHi Gerry thanks for putting the coffee on,the wind is howling here also with rain hopeing it doesn'turn to snow winterThere's Birthday cake for Connie to go with the coffee!Have a great day everyone shiver


I may not have gone where I intended to go,but I think I have ended up where I need to be.

Sue
Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1] #872387
03/07/13 06:21 AM
03/07/13 06:21 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
wave Good Morning Cailyn. Happy Birthday to Connie! Birthday cake sounds good Cailyn. Happy Day wished for all! wave


Gerry
Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1] #872392
03/07/13 07:15 AM
03/07/13 07:15 AM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Midge Offline
Graduate Boomer
Midge  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Good morning. I have to go to the Boston Pain Clinic this morning. Not looking forward to the drive. It's pouring out there. Nan can I borrow your Band of Angels for my trip pleaseandthankyou?

Have a great day everyone. Please stay safe.

Midgie hearts


Just do it.
Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1] #872398
03/07/13 07:28 AM
03/07/13 07:28 AM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Hello and goodbye. wave


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1] #872402
03/07/13 07:48 AM
03/07/13 07:48 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Joe, sorry your time off won't last too much longer.

Niteowl, good morning.

Haroula, enjoy your tradition.

Gerry, same weather here. Don't know why school is open cause they'll be sending them home early I'm sure.

Cailyn, careful of flooding in your area.

Midgie, safe driving wished for you today. We're getting all snow in my area.

Venus, have a nice workday.

Connie, birthday

Road travel doesn't look that great this morning but I have to go. Be back later. winter


Gail
Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1] #872407
03/07/13 08:53 AM
03/07/13 08:53 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. Thanks for the Birthday wishes. Cailyn, thanks for the Birthday cake. Midge and Gail, be safe on the road. SIL, is taking us out to dinner tonight. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Thursday. Danish, French Toast, and Hot Chcolate to go with my Birthday cake in the NC. penguin


Connie
Re: Thursday's [Re: connie] #872433
03/07/13 11:04 AM
03/07/13 11:04 AM
Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
Darlene Offline
Adept Boomer
Darlene  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Hope this day is exactly as you'd like it to be!

birthday Connie! Woohoo and booyah!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!


Woohoo and booyah! smile Have an easy peasy day!
Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1] #872447
03/07/13 11:50 AM
03/07/13 11:50 AM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Thumping Good Thursday ya'll puppy

I'm enjoying a semi-quiet morning of sipping and surfing which will be followed by vacuuming and laundry in a bit. wave


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1] #872448
03/07/13 11:52 AM
03/07/13 11:52 AM
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 11,505
Kirkwood, MO USA
flutist Offline
Adept Boomer
flutist  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 11,505
Kirkwood, MO USA
Good morning everyone.

I'll add some yummy honey to Connie's french toast. birthday m'dear.

A little cold out today but the sun is shining very brightly. Ah, sunshine.

Guess what we all get to do Sat. nite. Anyone getting up at 2 a.m. to set their clocks forward?

Got some chicken out for dinner tonight. Bill wanted chicken fixed in gravy with potatoes thrown in. Yummy.

I hope everyone has a wonderful day today.

Bets


Corgis fill your life with Joy, your heart with Love, and your soul with Sunshine.
Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1] #872451
03/07/13 12:00 PM
03/07/13 12:00 PM
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 3,680
kansas
my10rugrats Offline
Addicted Boomer
my10rugrats  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 3,680
kansas
may not of have french toast to eat for breakfast, but did have a nice cup of golden french toast coffee this morning . the aroma fills my kitchen when it is making

Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1] #872460
03/07/13 01:00 PM
03/07/13 01:00 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
So today's experiment in cat psychology went terribly wrong again. After all the cat stuff in the last few days, which culminated with my oldest Outdoorsie coming to the FRONT door of my house (a thing she never does). I followed her around back and discovered that HER cozy tent was occupied by one of the ferals. This is the second time this has happened. Usually she camps out in whichever of the two tents is empty and the ferals group in only one tent. Two tents, no room at the inn. So I scooted the ferals out and put good old Spot in and all was well once again. SMART cat. This is the second time she did this, coming to the front porch, behavior. Wow. I'm learning!

So after that, and thinking it's going to pour rain, etc. and she's so old and her partner died awhile back and she's probably lonely, I decided to try to bring her inside for the rest of her life. I figured my Indoorsie, Bubba, who lost his only partner too, might like the company. I started out by letting them sniff noses through the door. Seemed OK. Then I carried Spot through the house. She was very very interested in 'inside'. So this morning, after Bubba was fed, and happy, I brought Spot in to the back room and set her at the food dish. She was not happy and went roaming through the house towards the front door. Bubba met her, he meowed (sorta friendly) but Spot howled and growled and ran for the back door escape route. I picked her up, get her purring and set her back outside where she was obviously soooo happy now. Not gonna try that one again. Guess my plan of a 'happy retirement' for Spot wasn't what she wanted.

In better news, the interlopers, new cats on the block at the neighbors, seem to be staying on 'their' side of the fence. I think my Outdoorsies have stated the rules to them. Neighbor says he is getting the potty box and scratching post from the son who gave him the cats. Hope so. Still expecting heavy rain tonight and want those poor kitties snug and warm inside or under something dry.

Off to watch the Arias trial. Fascinating.


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1] #872466
03/07/13 01:15 PM
03/07/13 01:15 PM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
Joe enjoy your day off today and make the most of it. Thanks for the laughs!!

niteowl how's the unpacking and organizing coming??

Haroula Happy Holiday!! May it be a fun day for you!

Gerry thanks for getting the cofee started. Have a nice day! Hope the power stays on!

Cailyn have a lovely day! May the rain remain rain for ya! Be safe.

Midge absolutely!!! Prayers for the Band around you as you travel. Wishing you the best at the appointment.

venus Happy Working!! Glad you have a job and get to work!!

Gail HUGS!! May all go well and Prayers for the Band around you as you travel!!

Connie birthday Have a lovely time at dinner tonight!! Thanks for the danish!

Darlene may all go smoothly today!

L4l enjoy the day!

My10 if it smells good does it taste good too?

wave
Nan

Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1] #872467
03/07/13 01:16 PM
03/07/13 01:16 PM
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 3,680
kansas
my10rugrats Offline
Addicted Boomer
my10rugrats  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 3,680
kansas
yes it did nan

Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1] #872470
03/07/13 01:19 PM
03/07/13 01:19 PM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Midge Offline
Graduate Boomer
Midge  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Home from the clinic. The ride to the clinic was a nightmare. What normally takes me about 50 minutes took me hours. I couldn't see very well and it was bumper to bumper almost the whole trip. Glad I'm home. slapforehead

Midgie hearts


Just do it.
Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1] #872471
03/07/13 01:27 PM
03/07/13 01:27 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Midgy, was the visit worth the trip?


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Thursday's [Re: Darlene] #872487
03/07/13 03:05 PM
03/07/13 03:05 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
Hey everybody. wave

I hope you're all having a great day. yes

We had to take Mom to the hospital yesterday. Her heart has been giving her problems. The bottom half pumps blood ok, but the top half is in constant fibrillation. She is very frail, and weak, and they are trying to get her strength back up. Within a few days they want to put her under and stimulate her heart out of fibrillation with shock. That should help get her heart back to normal.

She is expected to be ok, but your prayers certainly will help I know. smile

joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1] #872489
03/07/13 03:11 PM
03/07/13 03:11 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Yikes Joe! Prayers coming right away. hearts Keep us posted.


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1] #872490
03/07/13 03:13 PM
03/07/13 03:13 PM
Joined: Dec 1999
Posts: 69,973
MaG Offline
Sonic Boomer
MaG  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Dec 1999
Posts: 69,973
Our good wishes and prayers are given.

Take care Joe. Hugs.

Re: Thursday's [Re: MaG] #872498
03/07/13 03:24 PM
03/07/13 03:24 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
Thanks Ana, thanks MaG. hearts I will keep you posted. As I mentioned, we expect her to be ok.

She's already showing her cranky side, and saying she's sick of all the test they're running on her, and she doesn't think they are doing any good, and she doesn't want any more!! lol

joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1] #872499
03/07/13 03:27 PM
03/07/13 03:27 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Ornery people live longer, it's a good sign. rotfl


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1] #872502
03/07/13 03:56 PM
03/07/13 03:56 PM
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 7,707
The Country
Winfrey Offline
BAAG Specialist
Winfrey  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 7,707
The Country
You've got my prayers, Joe.. hope she gets better quickly


Would that I could be the peacemaker in your soul that I might turn the discord and the rivalry of your elements into oneness and melody
Gibran
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