GAMEBOOMERS provides you with all the latest PC adventure computer games information, forum, walkthroughs, reviews and news.

GB Reviews

Latest & Upcoming Adventure Games

GB Annual Game Lists

GB Interviews


GB @ acebook

About Us


free games galore

Game Publishers & Developers

World of Adventure


GB @ witter

GameBoomers Store

Big Fish Games Homepage
Page 1 of 2 1 2 >
Topic Options
#873102 - 03/11/13 12:57 AM Monday's
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 32192
Loc: Calera, Oklahoma
My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one.
Groucho Marx (1890 - 1977)

How's Your Job?

You could only find jokes more cheesy than these if you worked at a cheese factory...

Q. How's your job at the clock company?
A. Only time will tell.

Q. How's your job at the banana company?
A. I keep slipping up.

Q. How's your job on the new highway?
A. I'm so busy I don't know which way to turn.

Q. How's your job at the travel agency?
A. I'm going nowhere.

Q. How's your job at the swivel chair company?
A. It makes my head spin!

Q. How's your job at the lemon juice company?
A. I've had bitter jobs.

Q. How's your job at the pie company?
A. It didn't pan out.

Q. How's your job at the balloon factory?
A. We can't keep up with inflation.

Q. How's your job at the crystal ball company?
A. I'm making a fortune.

Q. How's your job at the history book company?
A. There's no future in it.

Q. How's your job at the clock company?
A. I'm having second thoughts about it.

Q. How's your job on the farm?
A. Problems keep cropping up.

Q. How's your job at the sewing shop?
A. Hanging on by a thread.

Q. How's your job at the eye glasses clinic?
A. I have clear job objectives.

How Cold Is It?

Its amazing what effect temperature has on things...

60 Californians put on sweaters (if they can find one in their wardrobe).

50 Miami residents turn on the heat.

40 You can see your breath. Californians shiver uncontrollably. Minnesotans go swimming.

35 Italian cars don't start.

32 Water freezes.

30 You plan your vacation to Australia. Minnesotans put on T-shirts. Politicians begin to worry about the homeless. British cars don't start.

25 Boston water freezes. Californians weep pitiably. Minnesotans eat ice cream. Canadians go swimming.

20 You can hear your breath. Politicians begin to talk about the homeless. New York City water freezes. Miami residents plan vacation further south.

15 French cars don't start. You plan a vacation in Mexico. Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you.

10 Too cold to ski. You need jumper cables to get the car going.

5 You plan your vacation in Houston. American cars don't start.

0 Alaskans put on T-shirts. Too cold to skate.

-10 German cars don't start. Eyes freeze shut when you blink.

-15 You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo. Arkansans stick tongue on metal objects. Miami residents cease to exist.

-20 Cat insists on sleeping in your pajamas with you. Politicians actually do something about the homeless. Minnesotans shovel snow off roof. Japanese cars don't start.

-25 Too cold to think. You need jumper cables to get the driver going.

-30 You plan a two week hot bath. The Mighty Monongahela freezes. Swedish cars don't start.

-40 Californians disappear Minnesotans button top button Canadians put on sweaters
Your car helps you plan your trip south.

-50 Congressional hot air freeze Alaskans close the bathroom window.

-80 Hell freezes over Polar bears move south.

-90 Lawyers put their hands in their own pockets.

Church Bloopers

This is a compilation of actual Church Bulletins and Service bloopers...

Our next song is "Angels We Have Heard Get High".

Don't let worry kill you -- let the church help.

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

Weight Watchers will meet a 7 p.m. at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

Jean will be leading a weight-management series Wednesday nights. She's used the program herself and has been growing like crazy!

The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs... Julius Belzer.

This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.

Tuesday at 4:00 p.m. there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.

This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.

The service will close with Little Drops of Water. One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.

Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the carpet should come forward and do so.

The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They can be seen in the church basement Saturday.

Thursday night--Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.

Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when A. B. Doe supplied our pulpit.

The Rev. Adams spoke briefly, much to the delight of his audience.

The church is glad to have with us today as our guest minister the Rev. Shirley Green, who has Mrs. Green with him. After the service we request that all remain in the sanctuary for the Hanging of the Greens.

The eighth graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet" in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

The 1991 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11

Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.

Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan in preparing for the girth of their first child.

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

Good morning everyboomie. wave

Time to get another work week rolling, and there is no better way to do that than with two days off. dance

I believe I'll recommend that every work week start this way. thumbsup

They're always so eager to hear my recommendations. rotfl

I imagine they're holding their breath at this very moment. snicker

Not a good thing at all when I'm off for two whole days. razz

We'll see who cheated and took a breath when I go back to work. evil

In the mean time, let the festivities begin.

Have a happy day everyone. urock

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats

#873110 - 03/11/13 03:44 AM Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 10027
Loc: Greece
Good morning boomers wave
Joe,enjoy your days off smile
Have all a happy Monday happydance
I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

#873117 - 03/11/13 04:32 AM Re: Monday's [Re: Haroula]
cailyn Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 01/08/06
Posts: 6145
Loc: Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
Good morning Joe,Haroula waveCoffee is ready with some cr.donut holes,bl.berry muffins.Getting ready for the gym enjoy the day everyone puppy
I may not have gone where I intended to go,but I think I have ended up where I need to be.


#873118 - 03/11/13 04:50 AM Re: Monday's [Re: cailyn]
Gimli Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 06/15/05
Posts: 2315
Loc: Switzerland
Good morning Joe, Haroula, Cailyn and everyboomie who comes in after me

Joe: is it Mum-is-coming-home-day for you? I hope it so much! Have a wonderful 2-days-off-time!

Haroula: happy Monday to you too. How's the weather in Greece?

Cailyn: Happy Gym-time for you and thanks for the sweets in the corner.

I'am adding some cinnamon coffee to the corner. Do we like having a group breakfast?

thumbsup yes

Happy Monday!!

"You ask me what life is. That's like asking me what a carrot is. A carrot is a carrot is a carrot" (A. Chekhov)

#873126 - 03/11/13 06:00 AM Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
True Blue Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 22789
Loc: Marlborough USA
wave Good morning Joe, Haroula, Cailyn and Gimli. Joe are you going "head hunting" on your time off? Haroula wishing you a sunny day. Cailyn don't work out to hard. Gimli group breakfast works for me. Happy Day wished for everyone! wave

#873129 - 03/11/13 06:14 AM Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1]
venus Offline
Staff Reviewer
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 03/07/09
Posts: 7728
Loc: Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Hello and goodbye. wave
Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?

#873130 - 03/11/13 06:25 AM Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
True Blue Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 22789
Loc: Marlborough USA
Hi venus! You are off and running already! monky Have a great day! dance

#873136 - 03/11/13 06:46 AM Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1]
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 18262
Loc: Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Joe, Yay for you! Enjoy your time off.

Haroula, have a great day!

Cailyn, enjoy the gym.

Evelyne, I love a group breakfast.

Gerry, happy day wished for you also.

Venus, enjoy your work.

Warmer weather here. Maybe we can say goodbye to some of the snow. Wishing everyone a wonderful start to the week. Be back later.

#873143 - 03/11/13 07:44 AM Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 10254
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. I'll add some Honey Buns and Hot Chcolate to the group breakfast. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful start to the new week. penguin

#873164 - 03/11/13 09:59 AM Re: Monday's [Re: connie]
Darlene Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 02/10/00
Posts: 10371
Loc: Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Hope your Mum is doing well! Enjoy your time off!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
Woohoo and booyah! smile Have an easy peasy day!

#873168 - 03/11/13 10:13 AM Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 14623
Loc: northern Wisconsin
Joe I hope your mom may come home today! Enjoy the two days off and hope you have some fun plans for it! Thanks for the laughs!

Haroula have a lovely day!

Evelyne HUGS to you!! Keeping you and family in my thoughts and prayers. Have a lovely day!

Cailyn have fun at the gym and thanks for getting the coffee started! Have a nice day!

Gerry have a nice day. Is the snow melting??

venus happy working!!!

Gail hope the sun comes out and the temps rise so the snow melts!! I'm hoping that here too. lol Have a lovely day. HUGS!

Connie have a lovely day and thanks for the breakfast treats!!

Darlene may everything go smoothly today!

Ana hope the project is moving right along for you!!

No plans here yet!


#873172 - 03/11/13 11:01 AM Re: Monday's [Re: auntiegram]
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 32192
Loc: Calera, Oklahoma
Good morning everybody. wave

Mom won't be coming home today. The Dr said tomorrow. He wants another day to get her strength back up. yes

It's sunny here but chilly. I want to go head hunt, but I'll wait till it warms up a bit more. yes

Hope you're all having a good morning. rah Rah Rah

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats

#873175 - 03/11/13 11:15 AM Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 75353
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Joe, you need to come here for some head hunting. The creeks are flowing like Niagara falls.

Good morning Boomies! I am spending the day in the corner but come nightime I am whipping out my dancing shoes and heading out for Salsa Funk! This girl needs to dance away the blues and rejuvenate my mental health as well as get some blood moving.

I hope you all have a wonderful day!
Don't feed the Trolls

#873182 - 03/11/13 11:36 AM Re: Monday's [Re: BrownEyedTigre]
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 32192
Loc: Calera, Oklahoma
On my way Ana. wink

Hope you get a break today. Do you still have snow everywhere? kissy

Salsa Funk huh? Have fun. happydance

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats

#873184 - 03/11/13 11:39 AM Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 47569
Loc: Alabama
Magnificent Monday ya'll puppy

We are having a grey and rainy day, but not too cold. In fact, we had to run the whole house fan last night in order for it to be cool enough to sleep.

I'm reading Towers of to the last book of the Wheel of Time series. Darn but I need to just sit and read this one and the final one so I stop reading "just one more chapter" until the very wee hours of the morning.

Son is sleeping for work tonight, hubby is a work, and the house is semi-quiet. Gotta love it for however long it lasts. puppy

Edit: If you are a Google doodle fan, or a Douglas Adams fan, go play with todays' doodle. wave

Edited by looney4labs (03/11/13 11:44 AM)
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

Page 1 of 2 1 2 >

Moderator:  BrownEyedTigre, looney4labs 

Who's Online
Key: Admin Global Mod Mod Staff  )
4 registered (LadyLinda, family, curly, 1 invisible), 133 Guests and 11 Spiders online.
Newest Members
GreatDetective, conrad32, Divyansh_Verma, jesblood, Meems
9014 Registered Users