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#873254 - 03/11/13 11:34 PM Tuesday
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 30108
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
"A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes."
Hugh Downs
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A woman pregnant with her first child paid a visit to her obstetrician's office.

After the exam, she shyly said, "My husband wants me to ask you...," to which the doctor replies, "I know, I know," placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "I get asked that all the time. Sex is fine until late in the pregnancy."

"No, that's not it," the woman confessed. "He wants to know if I can still mow the lawn."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.

As she sat by him, he said, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side... You know what?"

"What dear?" She asked gently.

"I think you bring me bad luck."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Standing at the edge of the lake, a man saw a woman flailing about in the deep water. Unable to swim, the man screamed for help. A trout fisherman ran up.

The man said, "My wife is drowning and I can't swim. Please save her. I'll give you a hundred dollars." The fisherman dove into the water. In ten powerful strokes, he reached the woman, put his arm around her, and swam back to shore.

Depositing her at the feet of the man, the fisherman said, "Okay, where's my hundred dollars?"

The man said, "Look, when I saw her going down for the third time, I thought it was my wife. But this is my mother-in-law."

The fisherman reached into his pocket and said, "Just my luck. How much do I owe you?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~

A female officer arrests a drunk. She warns him, "You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be held against you."

The drunk replies, "Boobs."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. wave

I have a surprise for you. happydance

IT'S THE "T" WORD!!!!! yay

Happy Tuesday everybody! dance

Any more excitement and I'll be in the chiropractors office all day. wink

What, you thought it was TGIF? grin

Sorry if I got your hopes up. blush

I'll never do it again, I promise. snicker

Well I'm out of smileys, which is like being out of punctuation to me, so I may as well close with my usual.

Have a happy day everyone.

joe


Edited by gymcandy1 (03/11/13 11:36 PM)
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#873256 - 03/11/13 11:49 PM Re: Tuesday [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Online   happy
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 65508
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Joe, have a great day today and I hope mom can come home and she's feeling great. hearts

I'll be in the corner...not stressed anymore. Life is good. grin

Have a happy day everyone!
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#873271 - 03/12/13 03:45 AM Re: Tuesday [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 7974
Loc: Greece
Good morning Loe,Ana and all wave
I wish you a nice day happydance
_________________________
Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.



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#873273 - 03/12/13 04:23 AM Re: Tuesday [Re: Haroula]
cailyn Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 01/08/06
Posts: 6072
Loc: Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
Good morning Joe,Ana,Haroula and all who follow me in waveJoe hope your mum gets to come home today,Ana no stress is good danceCoffee is ready have a great day all sherlock
_________________________
I may not have gone where I intended to go,but I think I have ended up where I need to be.

Sue

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#873274 - 03/12/13 04:39 AM Re: Tuesday [Re: cailyn]
Gimli Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 06/15/05
Posts: 2314
Loc: Switzerland
Good morning Joe, Ana dear, Haroula and Cailyn and everybody coming in after me.

Joe: fingers crossed that Granny Lilley doesn't have to wrestle the Doc! Happy homecoming for her kissy

Ana: good that the stress is over. Relaxing is muuuuch better. kissy

Hroula: hi and by to you

Cailyn: thanks for the hot coffee. Yummy!

Family meeting with Doc was same as always. Nothing new. My Dad could be in that state for another day or week or year.... He is only skin and bone because he isn't eating enough (only a soup/day) but his body and his mind don't want to give up. Dad is still clinging to life. It won't get better though. Poor man!

Today I'am taking a day off from going to the Hospice and I will spend the day in my studio, throwing ceramic objects for my exhibition in June. I'am way behind because I was spending my time in Hospice instead of the studio. But that's ok. I can do exhibitions again in the future, but I don't know how long I will have a father still.

For all of you I wish a wonderful day. Keep smiling!

All my love!

Evelyne
_________________________
"You ask me what life is. That's like asking me what a carrot is. A carrot is a carrot is a carrot" (A. Chekhov)

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#873279 - 03/12/13 05:16 AM Re: Tuesday [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 17473
Loc: Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, Ana, Haroula, Cailyn and Gimli. Joe hope your Mom comes home today. Ana no stress is happiness! Haroula enjoy the sunshine. Cailyn I'm ready for that coffee. Gimli my thoughts and prayers are with you and your Dad. Take Care. Wishing everyone a peaceful day! catrub
_________________________
Gerry

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#873286 - 03/12/13 06:23 AM Re: Tuesday [Re: gymcandy1]
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 03/07/09
Posts: 5614
Loc: Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Hello and goodbye. wave

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#873295 - 03/12/13 07:09 AM Re: Tuesday [Re: gymcandy1]
GBC Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 14696
Loc: Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Joe, have a good one.

Ana, enjoy a stress-free day!

Haroula, happy day!

Cailyn, thankjs for the coffee.

Evelyne, you have your priorities straight. Hugs!

Gerry, enjoy the day.

Venus, hello.

Wishing everyone a wonderful day! Supposed to rain today which will make for a good gaming day!
_________________________
Gail

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#873297 - 03/12/13 07:29 AM Re: Tuesday [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 8162
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. Evelyne, Hugs and prayers are on the way. hearts Joe, I hope your mom comes home today and all is well. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Tuesday. Danish, Bacon Sandwiches, Bear Claws, and Hot Chcolate in the NC. penguin
_________________________
Connie

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#873308 - 03/12/13 08:48 AM Re: Tuesday [Re: gymcandy1]
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
True Blue Boomer

Registered: 04/16/05
Posts: 21403
Loc: Usually up an Alabama Tree
Good morning everyone! Work has slowed a bit allowing me to to slip back into my normal routine. So I will enjoy while I can. Wishing you all a great day as I'm off to work. We'll keep you in our prayers Evelyne.

Whoosh...

L4L hearts

wave
_________________________
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games

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#873312 - 03/12/13 09:09 AM Re: Tuesday [Re: gymcandy1]
Space Quest Fan Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 9646
Loc: Columbus,Ohio USA
Good morning Boomers. wave
_________________________
It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

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#873320 - 03/12/13 10:03 AM Re: Tuesday [Re: Space Quest Fan]
Darlene Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/10/00
Posts: 9442
Loc: Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers and a Happy Tuesday tooooooo yooouuuuuu!!!! Hope your Mum can come home today!

Evelyne, big hugs to you! hearts

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
_________________________
You become what you think about. Change your thoughts, change your life. - Dko

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#873334 - 03/12/13 10:42 AM Re: Tuesday [Re: gymcandy1]
niteowl07 Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 11/06/05
Posts: 7541
Loc: the dusty desert
good morning , everyone !

thanks for the chuckles , joe !

hugs evelyne,sorry you did not get better news.

it's bright and sunny here, so hopefully i;ll get laundry and recycling done. then maybe work on the flowerbed in front of my door.

have a wonderful day !

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#873336 - 03/12/13 11:05 AM Re: Tuesday [Re: niteowl07]
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 30108
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
Good morning everybody. wave

I really thought that I would be bringing Mom home today, but no. sad

The Dr said the fluid on her lungs is worse today than yesterday, and they have to get it out of her before she comes home, so he put her on an IV to do that, and said that hopefully tomorrow she could come home. duh

So it's "wait & see". smirk

Evie I'm so sorry that your father is not improving. Hugs to you. hearts

I'm fixing to head down to the creek and see what I can see. happydance

I hope everyone has a super duper day. dance

joe


Edited by gymcandy1 (03/12/13 11:09 AM)
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#873339 - 03/12/13 11:20 AM Re: Tuesday [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 13751
Loc: northern Wisconsin
Joe I hope that your mom is able to come home today!! Enjoy the day off and thanks for the klaughs.

Ana glad the corner is less stressful for you now and that the toe is doing better. It will probably always be there to remind you. lol Have a lovely day!

Haroula have a lovely day!

Evelyne I read that with tears in my eyes as my heart goes out to you! I know the feeling as I have been through it. HUGS! HUGS! HUGS! Other things will always be there so glad that you can spend as much time as you want with him!! May a day of throwing pottery around bring you some peace! hearts

Cailyn and Gerry hope the weather is nice and the snow is melting. Have a nice day!

venus happy working Have a nice day!

Gail have fun gaming in the rain!! I suppose Nina won't be wanting to go out. lol Have a lovely day!

Connie have a wonderful day and thanks for the danish!! How is hubbys cough doing??

Soot glad it has slowed at work! Have a lovely day!

Darlene may all go smoothly today! Have a nice day!

Space have a nice day!

niteowl sounds like fun to work in the garden, enjoy!!

wave
Nan

Aw Joe sorry that mom can't come home today! Prayers that the fluid goes away so she may come home tomorrow! Have fun down by the creek!!

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