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#873669 - 03/13/13 07:49 PM Re: Thursday's
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 30108
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die.
Homer Simpson

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

USA Senior Health Care Solution

So you're a senior citizen and the government says no health care for you, what do you do? Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets. Your are allowed to shoot 2 senators and 2 representatives. Of Course, this means you will be sent to prison where you will get 3 meals a day, a roof over your head, and all the health care you need! New teeth, no problem. Need glasses, great. New hip, knees, kidney, lungs, heart? All covered. And who will be paying for all of this? The same government that just told you that you are too old for health care. Plus, because you are a prisoner, you don't have to pay any income taxes any more.

IS THIS A GREAT COUNTRY OR WHAT?!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans. He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on him.
One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it became apparent they would marry, he thought to himself, she'll never go through with the marriage with me carrying on like this, so he made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.
Shortly after that they were married.
A few months later, on the way home from work, his car broke down and since they lived in the country, he called his wife and told her he would be late because he had to walk. On his way home, he passed a small cafe and the wonderful aroma of baked beans
overwhelmed him.
Since he still had several miles to walk he figured he could walk off any ill effects before he got home. So he went in and ordered, and before leaving had 3 extra large helpings of baked beans. All the way home he putt-putted. By the time he arrived home he felt reasonably safe.
His wife met him at the door and seemed somewhat excited. She exclaimed, "Darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for you for dinner tonight!" She put a blindfold on him, and led him to his chair at the head of the table and made him promise not to peak. At this point he was beginning to feel another one coming on.
Just as his wife was about to remove the blindfold, the telephone rang. She again made him promise not to peek until she returned, and away she went to answer the phone.
While she was gone, he seized the opportunity. He shifted his weight to one leg and let go. It was not only loud, but ripe as a rotten egg. He had a hard time breathing, so he felt for his napkin and fanned the air about him.
He had just started to feel better, when another urge came on. He raised his leg and RRIIIPPPP!!! It sounded like a diesel engine revving, and smelled worse. To keep from gagging, he tried fanning his arms a while, hoping the smell would dissipate. He got another urge. This was a real blue ribbon winner, the windows shook, the dishes on the table rattled and a minute later the flowers on the table were dead.
While keeping an ear tuned in on the conversation in the hallway, and keeping his promise of staying blindfolded, he carried on like this for the next ten minutes, tooting and fanning each time with his napkin. When he heard the phone farewells he neatly laid his napkin on his lap and folded his hands on top of it. Smiling contentedly, he was the picture of innocence when his wife walked in.
Apologizing for taking so long, she asked if he had peeked at the dinner table. After assuring her he had not peeked, she removed the blindfold and yelled, "SURPRISE!!!"
To his shock and horror, there were twelve dinner guests seated around the table for his surprise birthday party.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
Love to forgive him;
and Patience for his moods.
Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength,
I'll beat him to death.
AMEN

Q. Why do little boys whine?
A. They are practicing to be men.

Q. What do you call a handcuffed man?
A. Trustworthy

Q. What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A. You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

Q. Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
A. It helps them remember which end to wipe...

Q. How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A. Rename the email folder 'Instruction Manuals'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?" To which she replied "Probably that I married you for your money."

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?' 'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?' He yelled back, 'OHIO STATE!' And they say blondes are dumb!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Man, I'll tell ya, women are cold until the end!
The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, 'I've got some bad news. You have cancer, and you'd best put your affairs in order.'
The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into the waiting room where her daughter had been waiting.
'Well, daughter, we women celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate when things don't go so well. In this case, things aren't well. I have cancer. So, let's head to the club and have a martini.'
After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a little less somber. There were some laughs and more martinis. They were eventually approached by some of the woman's old friends, who were curious as to what the two were celebrating.
The woman told her friends they were drinking to her impending end, 'I've been diagnosed with AIDS.' The friends were aghast, gave the woman their condolences and beat a hasty retreat.
After the friends left, the woman's daughter leaned over and whispered, 'Momma, I thought you said you were dying of cancer, and you just told your friends you were dying of AIDS! Why did you do that??'
'Because I don't want any of those witches sleeping with your father after I'm gone.'
And THAT, my friends, is what is called, 'Putting Your Affairs In Order'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is something to think about when negative people are doing their best
to rain on your parade. So remember this story the next time someone who
knows nothing and cares less tries to make your life miserable.
A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to
Rome with her husband.. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:
" Rome ? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty..
You're crazy to go to Rome . So, how are you getting there?"
"We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"
"Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser. " That's a terrible airline.
Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always
late. So, where are you staying in Rome ?"
"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's Tiber River called Teste."
"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks its gonna be
something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump."
"We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope."
"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. You and a million other people
trying to see him. He'll look the size of20an ant.
Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."
A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser
asked her about her trip to Rome.
"It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one
of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped
us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a
handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot.
And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling
job, and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were
overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"
"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know
you didn't get to see the Pope."
"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss
Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet
some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private
room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me.
Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and
shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me."
"Oh, really! What'd he say?"
He said: "Who gave you the lousy hair-do?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. wave

We are half way through the week. yay

That's my kind of week.

Hump Day, Thump Day, & Friday, Then off again.

I don't think I could be happier. yay

Yes I could. I could be happier if I was off Hump Day, Thump Day, & Friday too. penguin

Can I get an "Amen"? rah

I could be even happier if I was rich and off Hump, Thump, & Friday. woot

I could be even more happier if I was that guy on the beach with the beautiful woman in the Corona commercials, and rich, and off Hump Day, Thump Day, & Friday. yay

I'm pretty sure she's beautiful although you never actually see her face.

If I have enough of those Coronas they’re drinking I'm guessing it wouldn't much matter what she looks like. crazy

Have a happy day everyone. RAH RAH!

joe
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#873678 - 03/13/13 08:44 PM Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Online   happy
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 65508
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Amen! grin

Joe, you can always come move next door to me. The house is still up for grabs cheap. Just think of the trouble we could get into. lol

Have a happy day everyone...I'll be in the corner all day but sometime Friday I will start my weekend. I have fun stuff planned!
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#873683 - 03/13/13 09:35 PM Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1]
Sorta Blonde Online   content
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 7352
Loc: San Diego, CA
Had a great day yesterday when my sister and niece came down to visit and we all went to lunch with her old work friends from the hospital. Lots of the nicest ladies you would ever wanna meet. All were at least 5 years past me but was fun to chat and laugh and get to know some of them at my end of the long table. There were 20 of us! They do this every other month and today's group was much bigger than usual. I got invited to join them on their next lunch. How nice.

Before the lunch my sister needed to buy a trash compactor, phoned a Sears Outlet store, found they had ONE in stock, no holds available. So we drove 10 miles, went in and there it was in perfect shape, just like mine, and on sale for 200 less than I paid 5 years ago. Neat deal. She bought it for the 'new' house she is 'loaning' to her daughter, and to which she will come to visit for about 4 months each year. Might work out well if the daughter pays the mortgage as agreed. Hope she does and no more funny money troubles. My fear is that the FIRST room in the new house they got totally set up is the POKER room! Yup, they are avid poker players and I can't help but wonder if that might have caused the foreclosure and bankrupcy??? I'm always skeptical when that house should have been paid off many times over by now and they were still paying MORE than the original mortgage. Borrowed against it a lot I think. Maybe she has matured and things will go better this time. Sister says she has no problem selling that house if daughter falls behind. She's not about to let HER credit go down the drain. Good for her.

Relented and bought a THIRD kitty tent for the Outdoorsies, since the feral mom and her daughter have taken to hogging both of the existing ones and poor Spot, the oldest lady out there is having to camp out under the table in a bed I put there when I figured out what was going on. Hope the third tent becomse popular with mom and daughter and Spot gets her choice of the 'old' tents. Always something with cats!
_________________________
WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.

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#873685 - 03/13/13 09:44 PM Re: Thursday's [Re: Sorta Blonde]
Space Quest Fan Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 9646
Loc: Columbus,Ohio USA
Have a great Thursday everyone. thumbsup
_________________________
It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

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#873691 - 03/13/13 10:38 PM Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Online   happy
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 65508
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Good morning SpaceQ, the weekend is creeping up! yay
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#873711 - 03/14/13 01:34 AM Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1]
niteowl07 Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 11/06/05
Posts: 7541
Loc: the dusty desert
thanks for the jokes and coffee ,joe - hope your day goes well. guess i should have asked the senior center /hospital discharge dept. questions here instead of on hump day...

morning everyone !

hope everyone has the most wonderful day.

i'm hoping to get some more postcards finished ,and then start some round ones for a postcard challenge - these are a lot of fun ,and get the creative ideas flowing.

mom and i are going across the street for fish fry on friday ,if we can figure out what time they serve it :lol it should be interesting.

see you all later in the afternoon wave

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#873717 - 03/14/13 03:35 AM Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 7974
Loc: Greece
Good morning Joe,Ana,SpaceQ,niteowl and all who
come in later wave
Have all a nice day happydance
_________________________
Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.



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#873726 - 03/14/13 05:45 AM Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 17473
Loc: Marlborough USA
StPats Good morning Joe, Ana, Sorta, SpaceQ, niteowl , Haroula and of course Cailyn. I've put the coffee on and tea too! Happy Day to you All! StPats
_________________________
Gerry

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#873735 - 03/14/13 06:16 AM Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1]
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 03/07/09
Posts: 5614
Loc: Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Good morning, everyone. wave Well, it looks as though I'm coming down with the cold I was trying to avoid. frown I suppose I'll just sleep when I come home from work. Since they're turning the electricity off this afternoon for maintenance reasons, there won't be much else to do anyway. woozy Okay, have to run.

Have a great Thursday, everyone. cat

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#873738 - 03/14/13 06:31 AM Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1]
GBC Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 14696
Loc: Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

To all still asleep and all who are awake and ready for the day I'm wishing a good one.

Coffee sounds great!
_________________________
Gail

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#873743 - 03/14/13 07:36 AM Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1]
Midge Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 04/30/00
Posts: 14714
Loc: Massachusetts
Good morning. Well, I just lost my post so I'll just say have a great day today. See you later.

Midgie hearts
_________________________
Just do it.

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#873747 - 03/14/13 07:51 AM Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 8162
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. Joe, I'm glad your mom is home, but sorry about the other problem. I'm sending prayers that you can work out some kind of a solution that will work for all of you. Hugs are on the way too. hearts I'm going shopping with SIL today. Hubby will take money to our computer garu to buy parts to upgrade my computer. To all here and all who follow. have a Wondertful Thursday. Danish, Omelets, Home Fries, and English Muffins in the NC. spring
_________________________
Connie

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#873762 - 03/14/13 10:08 AM Re: Thursday's [Re: connie]
Darlene Online   content
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/10/00
Posts: 9442
Loc: Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Hope these next few work days go easy peasy for you!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
_________________________
You become what you think about. Change your thoughts, change your life. - Dko

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#873769 - 03/14/13 11:00 AM Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 13751
Loc: northern Wisconsin
Joe only one more after today then the weekend off!!! May today fly and go well. Thanks for the laughs.

Ana have a fun filled weekend!! Did ya finish last night??

Haroula, Sorta, Space, Gerry, Gail(HUGS), Connie, Midge, niteowl, Darlene have a wonderfully lovely day!!

venus prayers that you are feeling better soonest!! Rest is what you need so nice the power outage has the right timing. lol

wave
Nan

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#873770 - 03/14/13 11:18 AM Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1]
flutist Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/17/01
Posts: 11418
Loc: Kirkwood, MO USA
Good morning everyone.

Well, the temp is going to have to get a move on if it is going to get up in the upper 50's today. It is 36 and cloudy.

Need to go to Walgreen's and get a refill on Cory's medication, but will do that tomorrow. I really need to find something constructive to do instead of sitting on my duff and goofing off. I am going to try a new meatloaf recipe. Just got my Food and Family magazine from Kraft. Bill grabbed it before I had a chance to look at it. He said this recipe sounded good. We shall see.

Have a good day everyone. wave

Bets
_________________________
Corgis fill your life with Joy, your heart with Love, and your soul with Sunshine.

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#873793 - 03/14/13 12:23 PM Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1]
Sorta Blonde Online   content
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 7352
Loc: San Diego, CA
Love meatloaf, flutist! Maybe you could send me the recipe? My mom used to put bread crumbs in hers, and canned whole tomatoes. I got the job of squishing them in my hands in the huge can. Was fun. Almost like making mud pies. And then she topped it off with undiluted Campbell's Tomato Soup. Was awesome. Always looking for a good meatloaf recipe.

Warm day, sunny, nice here. Perfect day. Going for the morning walk as soon as my friend wakes up. The time change is getting to everyone.
_________________________
WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.

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#873801 - 03/14/13 12:47 PM Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Online   content
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42516
Loc: Alabama
Thumping Good Thursday ya'll puppy

We were in the 30's last night but are headed for the 60's by the afternoon. Today is son's birthday, so I've been in the kitchen putting the steaks on to marinade and making his cake.

Speaking of that, it's been waaaaaay too long since I made a cake. The first thing I did was separate the eggs, which would have been great for an angel food cake, but is sooooo not needed for a chocolate one.

I'm waiting on some of his presents to get here via UPS, and he is playing his most important one. His plan is to stay in his pj's all day and play the new Starcraft 2 expansion.

Back later wave
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#873805 - 03/14/13 01:06 PM Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 7974
Loc: Greece
birthdayto your son L4L wave


Edited by Haroula (03/14/13 01:06 PM)
_________________________
Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.



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#873825 - 03/14/13 02:15 PM Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 13751
Loc: northern Wisconsin
birthday to son, L4l!! I need two pies for the fish fry tomorrow night but I cheated......I'm having my granddaughter make them for me. I have never made a pie.

Bets I'm happy that we are getting in the low 30's today. I would love a 50 or 60 day!!!! :happydance.

wave Sorta and Haroula!!

wave
Nan

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#873835 - 03/14/13 02:53 PM Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Online   happy
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 65508
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Good afternoon boomies! Murphy's law has taken over my life the last week and all I can do is laugh at this point. lol

L4L, birthday to your son!

gotta run, very far behind...
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#873858 - 03/14/13 05:13 PM Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 8162
Loc: winter springs fl.
birthday to your son L4L. Ana, I hope Murphey takes a vacation soon. Hubby says hi to everyone. He is feeling good. leprechaun
_________________________
Connie

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#873892 - 03/14/13 09:18 PM Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1]
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 03/07/09
Posts: 5614
Loc: Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
birthday to your son, L4L!

Well, I'm off to bed early tonight. Still not feeling well. Good night, everyone. sleep

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#873898 - 03/14/13 10:39 PM Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Online   content
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42516
Loc: Alabama
Night guys. Soot and son and I all enjoyed a wonderful dinner followed by 2 games of InnFighting! What a cute fun game. Soot is off to the airport to pick up some friends returning from the UK. I'm off to bed. Sleep well all sleep
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#873899 - 03/14/13 10:40 PM Re: Thursday's [Re: venus]
Darlene Online   content
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/10/00
Posts: 9442
Loc: Southern California
wave

Home, fed, NCIS'd...

L4L, birthday to your son! Woohoo and booyah!

Off to see what's afoot!
_________________________
You become what you think about. Change your thoughts, change your life. - Dko

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#873904 - 03/15/13 12:04 AM Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 13751
Loc: northern Wisconsin
Night everybody! Sleep well and pleasant dreams!!

sleep
Nan

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