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Tuesday's #874694
03/18/13 07:42 PM
03/18/13 07:42 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
All I can say about life is, Oh God, enjoy it!
Bob Newhart (1929 - )
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yesterday my daughter again asked why I didn't do something useful with my time. Talking about my "doing something useful" seemed to be her favorite topic of conversation. She was "only thinking of me" and suggested I go down to the senior center and hang out with the guys. I did this and when I got home last night I decided to teach her a lesson about staying out of my business. I told her that I had joined a parachute club.

She said, "Are you nuts? You're almost 74 years old and you're going to start jumping out of airplanes?" I proudly showed her that I even got a membership card.

She said to me, "Good grief, where are your glasses! This is a membership to a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club."

"I'm in trouble again, and I don't know what to do... I signed up for five jumps a week," I told her.

She fainted!

Life as a senior citizen is not getting any easier but sometimes it can be fun.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why do supermarkets make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front?


Why do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke?

Why do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to the counters?


Why do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in our driveways and put our useless junk in the garage?


EVER WONDER...

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?


Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?


Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?


Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

Why is it that doctors and attorneys call what they do 'practice'?


Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavoring, and dish washing liquid made with real lemons?


Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?


Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff??

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)... in other words, send it to everyone. We all need to smile every once in a while.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. wave

It's another early early start for me. I'll be about 2 hours into it at the crack of dawn. tired

You know what that means. It hasn't cracked dusk yet, but I need to be in bed already. sleep

This old body needs more & more rest in between the work hours. rolleyes

I guess I need to change my diaper first though, and warm up my bottle. pacify

Just hope I sleep better than a baby. wink

I hope you all slept well too. yes

Have a happy day everyone. dance

joe

Edit: My thanks to Nan for the jokes today.


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #874703
03/18/13 09:04 PM
03/18/13 09:04 PM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Midge Offline
Graduate Boomer
Midge  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Hi Joe. You had me laughing out loud again. Thanks. I hope you get enough sleep before you have to get up and go to work at o'dark thirty. I don't have to be at work until 2:00 in the afternoon. We're getting another snow storm overnight. I really hope we don't get any more than a couple of inches. We'll see. I hope you all have a great Tuesday. See you on the flip side.

Midgie hearts


Just do it.
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #874725
03/18/13 10:21 PM
03/18/13 10:21 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,267
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,267
In the Naughty Corner
Joe, I hope your day breezes by! hearts

Midgie, enjoy your morning off. We keep getting snow but it doesn't seem to accumulate much. But I am getting weary of the temps. It's going down to 13 degrees. Nan keeps blowing her cold air here. lol

Have a happy day everyone!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #874765
03/19/13 03:40 AM
03/19/13 03:40 AM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer
Haroula  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Good morning Joe,Midgie,Ana and all who come in later wave
Sory for the bad weather,here the spring is here,sunny and hot with the nature green and
blossom happydance
Have all a happy day dance


I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

Re: Tuesday's [Re: Haroula] #874769
03/19/13 04:10 AM
03/19/13 04:10 AM
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,145
Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
cailyn Offline
BAAG Specialist
cailyn  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,145
Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
Good morning Joe,Ana,Midge,Haroula and all who arrive later waveSnow on the ground and it's like little hail stones coming down right now crazySure hope spring arrives soon springCoffee is ready have a great day everyone chocobunny


I may not have gone where I intended to go,but I think I have ended up where I need to be.

Sue
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #874776
03/19/13 05:03 AM
03/19/13 05:03 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,108
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,108
Marlborough USA
bunny chocobunny Good Morning Joe, Midgie, Ana, Haroula and Cailyn. Joe happy dreams. Midgie we got 2 inches of snow during the night. Ana hope it warms up for you today. Haroula a warm sunny day sounds good to me1 Cailyn thanks for the coffee. Happy Day wished for all! chocobunny bunny


Gerry
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #874784
03/19/13 06:03 AM
03/19/13 06:03 AM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Hello and goodbye. wave Have a great Tuesday, everyone. spring


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #874788
03/19/13 06:27 AM
03/19/13 06:27 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Joe, hope you slept well.

Ana, I really think Spring is not going to arrive this year.

Midgie, hope your area isn't bad with this storm.

Haroula, I envy your weather.

Cailyn, think Spring.

Gerry, have a great day.

Venus, hello, see you later.

Weather is a mess out there. Wet, icy snow and cold. School is canceled and I'll be home this morning as the roads are horrible. Where is Spring? confused


Gail
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #874790
03/19/13 06:53 AM
03/19/13 06:53 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,019
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,019
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. A trip to the grocery store is in the cards for today. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Tuesday. Danish, Ham and Eggs, Hash Browns, Toast, and Hot Chocolate in the NC. chocobunny


Connie
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #874810
03/19/13 09:15 AM
03/19/13 09:15 AM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good morning Boomers. wave


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Tuesday's [Re: Space Quest Fan] #874815
03/19/13 10:02 AM
03/19/13 10:02 AM
Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
Darlene Offline
Adept Boomer
Darlene  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Hope your day goes easy peasy!

Hey, Nan! Thanks for the openers! smile

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!


Woohoo and booyah! smile Have an easy peasy day!
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #874831
03/19/13 11:07 AM
03/19/13 11:07 AM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
Joe I hope you slept well and was all bright eyed and bushy tailed on the way to work this morning. May work fly and go well. Thanks for the chuckles.

Ana what can I say. lol I am SO ready for Spring and all this snow to melt away but that will be awhile cause there is just so much on the ground. I want to go walking and not be all bundled up!

May you have a lovely day and a fun walk with the dogs!! BTW I might be in Chicagoland in June, if things go as planned.

That's it Haroula I'm moving there. lol Have a lovely day and enjoy the nice weather.

Cailyn, Gerry, and Midge be safe in the storm. Hope it ends soon and the snow goes away quickly!! Have a nice day!

Gail are the girls happy with no school?? Have a lovely day!! HUGS!

Connie have fun shopping! Thanks for the danish!

venus may work go well and the time fly! Hope you are feeling better.

Darlene may work go smoothly and the time fly!

Space have a lovely day!

No plans here yet.

wave
Nan

Re: Tuesday's [Re: auntiegram] #874845
03/19/13 11:36 AM
03/19/13 11:36 AM
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,330
Switzerland
Gimli Offline
Addicted Boomer
Gimli  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,330
Switzerland
wave
kissy
praise
flowers


"You ask me what life is. That's like asking me what a carrot is. A carrot is a carrot is a carrot" (A. Chekhov)
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #874846
03/19/13 11:38 AM
03/19/13 11:38 AM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Terrific Tuesday ya'll puppy

We are having shorts weather though the storms yesterday cooled us down some. Hubby is a bit better (we shall see how he does with real food today)and I'm trying to stay away so he doesn't get my gunk.

I'm in the "no voice" stage, so it will be quiet here today rotfl

I'm going to start the tax process. Step 1: Install software Step 2: Sort paperwork

I might get to Step 3: Do son's taxes but I won't start ours til tomorrow. wave

Last edited by looney4labs; 03/19/13 11:38 AM.

"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #874853
03/19/13 11:57 AM
03/19/13 11:57 AM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,267
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,267
In the Naughty Corner
Hi Ho Hi Ho..it's off for a deep tissue massage I go. What better to do on a cold day off work? woot

Catch you all in a bit!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #874857
03/19/13 12:15 PM
03/19/13 12:15 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Well it's Tuesday and I'm hoping for a calm day. Been hectic around here on Sunday and Monday and I'm crossing fingers for today.

Sunday was the yard kid fiasco and then the water heater replacement in the middle of all of it. Spent 7 hours dealing with 'stuff' and on my feet. Back is screaming.

Then Monday, I decided to copy some keys (tenant didn't have a front door key). He was only using the security door locks. Hummm. He could have told me TEN years ago. Ha. So I go to Wally Mart and am walking in through the plant area and WHAM, a lady with a very full shopping cart, in a great hurry, MOWED down a 3 year old boy! Right in front of me. I could only stop and stare, nothing to do cause it happened so fast. Kid just went down on face flat. Would have been comical if not for the danger of injury. He seemed OK. So off I go to the double glass doors. I was at the door and WHAM, a man runs into ME with his shopping cart! I couldn't believe it. Both incidents in less than one minute. I didn't even look up to see who hit me since I was in such pain. The corner of the cart his my hand just below the wrist. Hurts like heck. Nice lump and bruise. The guy, just said, "Sorry, I didn't see you". Huh? I'm not a SMALL person and I was on MY side of the entry in an open area. What didn't he seeeee?

Anyway off he went without another word and I just stood there hurting and deciding if I wanted to shop or go home. I shopped. Heck, maybe another cart would hit me and I could sue. rotfl

So today BETTER be a calm day.

OH Apartment news flash: The boy toy of the drunk lady had MOVED OUT. Yup, been 3 weeks now and I've seen him 3 times driving up, taking her shopping for booze and spending about 1/2 hour inside then off he goes. Today, I managed to see the 'farewell'. She looked very very sad, even though she told me she kicked him out and didn't need a 'young' boyfriend. Something weird there. I'm guessing something happened with the management or another tenant and he's not allowed to stay. I'll probably find out later. Nice to have him gone since he's one of the major drug dealers and Pot smokers. Much calmer now and he and she aren't yelling up and down the street and maybe no more police coming over to investigate the 'domestic violence'. Never a dull moment in Sorta's Neighborhood. dance


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #874886
03/19/13 02:43 PM
03/19/13 02:43 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Sorta, your neighborhood is always interesting to read about.

Tax software installed, paperwork sorted, missing items recovered. Now time to sit for a sec and let my mind go blah. It is a super gorgeous day out there. I would love to walk the monkeys, but Soot is home sick. wave


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #874899
03/19/13 04:59 PM
03/19/13 04:59 PM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer
Haroula  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
sleep wave


I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #874900
03/19/13 05:19 PM
03/19/13 05:19 PM
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 3,295
Oregon
Lotus777 Offline
Addicted Boomer
Lotus777  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 3,295
Oregon
Hi Boomers!! Expecting a late season wind and rainstorm here tonight. Ugh! Trees have buds and flowers on them and daffodils are blooming and high winds can make a mess of these, boohoo! Hope it doesn't continue on across the country! Off to do some more chores. Happy Gaming everyone!! wave


Lotus
Life is like a hot bath. It feels good while you’re in it, but the longer you stay in, the more wrinkled you get.
Re: Tuesday's [Re: Lotus777] #874901
03/19/13 05:34 PM
03/19/13 05:34 PM
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 2,256
Phoenix, AZ USA
luv2travel Offline
Addicted Boomer
luv2travel  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 2,256
Phoenix, AZ USA
Hi Boomies!

Been on vacation since the 9th, and am now on my way from Hawaii back to the lower 48 by ship. Will get home on the 23rd. It's been a wonderful trip and weather's been good. Am at sea in the Pacific ocean just now.
L4L, hope you and soot feel better soon! Haven't been able to play WoW due to slow internet connections.
Miss you all! Aloha!
Andrea wave

Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #874908
03/19/13 06:09 PM
03/19/13 06:09 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Andrea, travel safely.

Soot and I curled up in bed and watched "The Odd Life of Timothy Green." It was a sweet movie, but that made me really sleepy. So just had to have a nap. Was woken by a couple of different car alarms.

We will not be going to Bible Study tonight...hubby is feeling much better and will go back to work tomorrow but I'm too junky to go anywhere. wave


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Tuesday's [Re: looney4labs] #874911
03/19/13 06:42 PM
03/19/13 06:42 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
Hello everybody. wave

I had a good day, despite getting up at 3:30. tired

After I came home I went to the creek with Baby and found THIS. I think it's a knife. bravo

Then I found......... This Beauty. penguin

joe

Last edited by gymcandy1; 03/19/13 08:32 PM.

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #874912
03/19/13 06:44 PM
03/19/13 06:44 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,267
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,267
In the Naughty Corner
woot Joe! yay


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #874935
03/19/13 09:09 PM
03/19/13 09:09 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Awesome Joe! That 'knife' looks a lot like the thing that the women used to scrape the underside of deer hides with. Hummm. I wonder...


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #874936
03/19/13 09:25 PM
03/19/13 09:25 PM
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 3,295
Oregon
Lotus777 Offline
Addicted Boomer
Lotus777  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 3,295
Oregon
Wow Joe, those are grrreat!! Next time you hunt and get deer, maybe try knife on hide... lol. Actually, I think Sorta could be right.


Lotus
Life is like a hot bath. It feels good while you’re in it, but the longer you stay in, the more wrinkled you get.
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