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#875550 - 03/23/13 01:48 AM Saturdiner
gymcandy1 Online   happy
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 30158
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.
Rita Rudner

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A lady on the airplane strikes up a conversation with the fellow sitting in the next seat, "..and where are you going?"

"I'm going to San Francisco to a Unix convention," he replies.

"Eunuchs convention?" she questions. "I didn't know there were that many of you."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A language instructor was explaining to her class that in French, nouns unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine.

"House," in French, is feminine-"la mansion."

"Pencil," in French, is masculine - "le crayon."

One puzzled student asked, "...What gender is computer?..."

The teacher did not know, and the word wasn't in her French dictionary.

So for fun she split the class into two groups appropriately enough, by gender, and asked them to decide whether "computer" should be a masculine or feminine noun.

Both groups were required to give four reasons for their recommendation.

The men's group decided that computers should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computer"), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for possible later retrieval.

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your pay check on accessories for it.

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine ("le computer"), because:

1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.

2. They have a lot of data but they are still clueless.

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems but half the time they ARE the problem.

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you'd waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

The women won.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was a doctor, a civil engineer, and a computer scientist sitting around late one evening, and they got to discussing which was the oldest profession.

The doctor pointed out that according to Biblical tradition, God created Eve from Adam's rib.

This obviously required surgery, so therefore that was the oldest profession in the world.

The engineer countered with an earlier passage in the Bible that stated that God created order from the chaos, and that was most certainly the biggest and best civil engineering example ever, and also proved that his profession was the oldest profession.

The computer scientist leaned back in her chair, and with a sly smile responded, "Yes, but who do you think created the chaos?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The gigantic computer took up a whole wall, dwarfing the two mathematicians standing before it.

After much flashing and humming a sliver of paper emerged from the vitals of the machine.

One mathematician, after studying it gravely, turned to the other and said with awe, "Do you realise that it would take four hundred ordinary mathematicians a hundred years of calculations to make a mistake this big?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

Microsoft (Nasdaq: MSFT) announced that it is selling advertising space in the error messages that appear in Windows.

Acknowledging for the first time that the average user of their operating system encounters error messages at least several times a day, Microsoft is trying to take financial advantage of the unavoidable opportunity to make an ad impression.

"We estimate that throughout the world at any given moment several million people are getting a 'General Protection Fault' or 'Illegal Operation' warning.

We will be able to generate significant revenue by including a short advertising message along with it," said Microsoft marketing director Nathan Mirror.

He also mentioned that Microsoft is intended to add banner ads into its Blue Screen of Death in the near future.

The Justice Department immediately indicated that they intend to investigate whether Microsoft is gaining an unfair advantage in reaching the public with this advertising by virtue of its semi-monopolistic control over error messages.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. wave

I'm trying to be in a morning state of mind with a birdie on my shoulder whispering "gotta go nite nite?" in my ear, and a doggie who wants to curl up on my lap and sleep. puppy

The little kid inside of me only wants a clean dry diaper, and a warm bottle of milk, warm crib, and my mommy. pacify

The old man inside of me wants water to hydrate with, plenty of Depends, and a warm crypt, and my mummy. rotfl

Better get an electric blanket for mummy. She's cold natured. dance

Poor circulation I guess. duh

Drafty pyramid. snicker

Have a happy day everyone.

joe
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#875552 - 03/23/13 03:29 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 8112
Loc: Greece
Good morning everyone wave
Have a super Saturday all happydance
_________________________
Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.



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#875555 - 03/23/13 03:37 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: Haroula]
cailyn Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 01/08/06
Posts: 6096
Loc: Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
Good morning Joe,Haroula waveJoe you are to funny grinCoffee is ready with some French toast,cr.donut holes and some bagels,have a great day everyone chocobunny
_________________________
I may not have gone where I intended to go,but I think I have ended up where I need to be.

Sue

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#875562 - 03/23/13 05:07 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 17626
Loc: Marlborough USA
bunny Good Morning Joe, Haroula and Cailyn. Joe sweet dreams! Haroula enjoy your sunshine. Cailyn french toast sounds delicious! i haven't had any in years! happy day All! bunny
_________________________
Gerry

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#875569 - 03/23/13 06:26 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
GBC Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 14786
Loc: Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Joe, have a wonderful day!

Haroula, wishing you a happy and exciting day.

Cailyn, coffee is most welcomed. Thanks.

Gerry, enjoy whatever plans you have for the day.

To all who come in....happy Saturday! I'm taking my cousin out to lunch for her birthday. Her choice where. bunny
_________________________
Gail

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#875574 - 03/23/13 07:28 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 8202
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. Today our computers are supposed to go to our friend to be upgraded. That is if all the parts came in. He will have them for a few days. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Saturday. Danish, Omelets, Bacon Sandwiches, and Hot Chocolate in the NC. chocobunny
_________________________
Connie

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#875586 - 03/23/13 10:13 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
Space Quest Fan Online   content
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 9724
Loc: Columbus,Ohio USA
Enjoy your Saturday everyone. smile
_________________________
It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

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#875609 - 03/23/13 11:38 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: Space Quest Fan]
gymcandy1 Online   happy
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 30158
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
Good morning Boomer Buddies. wave

We are about to have a storm pass over us. yay

I hope we get lots of rain, but it probably won't last long enough. happydance

Once again I go to work at 2:00, but at least this is Friday for me. woot

I hope you all have a super day. urock Rock and Roll Baby! cool

joe
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#875611 - 03/23/13 11:42 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 13808
Loc: northern Wisconsin
Joe I hope the day flies for you so you can get started on your day off tomorrow!! Thanks for the laughs!!

Haroula have a lovely day!

Cailyn thanks for the coffee. Have a nice day!

Gerry enjoy the weekend!!

Gail have a fun time out to lunch! birthday to your cousin!!

Connie hope the parts are all in and the upgrade goes quickly!! Thanks for the danish!

Space enjoy the weekend!!

Only plans for today are to go to a memorial service for one of our Moose members.

wave
Nan

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#875622 - 03/23/13 12:24 PM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Online   happy
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 65794
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Good morning boomies! It's a lovely day here and I will be running the dogs soon and then doing a Costco trip with hubby later. The rest of the day will be in the corner.

Nan, have you checked this out? They have room and it's not far from me.
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#875635 - 03/23/13 01:52 PM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42646
Loc: Alabama
Daughter did a color run...she had a lot of fun, but it is not for me as she was exhaling color for awhile. wave
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#875637 - 03/23/13 02:01 PM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Online   happy
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 65794
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
L4L, Nan wanted to do one, I can't take a chance with my allergies. I can see me getting an asthma attack or hives. lol
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#875651 - 03/23/13 03:56 PM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
niteowl07 Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 11/06/05
Posts: 7568
Loc: the dusty desert
joe ,you crack me up ! thanks for jokes and coffee - hope your day flies !

wow,the color run is very interesting !

we are having a sandstorm ,of all things. winds of 35-40mph ,and visibility is awful. till 8pm tonight. so of course,just hoping we don't lose power ,or have anything damaged.just getting over the hail damage from two weeks ago. our grocery store is still not open yet..sigh ( they lost their roof )

so , i'm going to game in between painting and napping ,not going out since i'm trying to beat off a cold - should be a nice easy day !

see you all later ,and be sure to have some fun ! wave

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#875676 - 03/23/13 07:21 PM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 13808
Loc: northern Wisconsin
Oh Ana thanks for the info. When my neice gets back from Florida on Monday I will let her know. She just might do it cause she was disapointed about the other being sold out.

Have a lovely run with the dogs and fun shopping with hubby!! Hope the project is going well for ya!! It is quit nice here too.....low thirties!!

wave L4l Hope you are feeling better and having a nice day!

niteowl be safe in that there sandstorm. I actually saw one when i was in Arizona. Was really something to see....from a distance that is. lol

wave
Nan

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#875682 - 03/23/13 07:29 PM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42646
Loc: Alabama
Sandstorm...eek! puppy
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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