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#876713 - 03/28/13 11:30 PM TGIF
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 30060
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
Woody Allen
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chicken Crossing

Ever wonder why the chicken crossed the road?


ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.

RONALD REAGAN: What chicken?

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.

BILL CLINTON: That depends on what your definition of "did" is.

GEORGE BUSH JR: I don't know, but I'll tell you this: That chicken may run, but it can't hide. God bless America.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.

MARTIN LUTHER KING JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

FOX MULDER: Did you actually see it cross the road? Or did you suddenly notice that it had appeared on the other side? You think you saw it cross the road, but that's an illusion. How many more chickens have to appear before you believe it?

FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken Millenium Edition, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book, and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?

LOUIS FARRAKHAN: What color was the chicken? If you do your research, you will find that it was a white chicken. Roads are always black. The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.

THE BIBLE: And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

COLONEL SANDERS: You mean I missed one?!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Church Bloopers

This is a compilation of actual Church Bulletins and Service bloopers...


Our next song is "Angels We Have Heard Get High".

Don't let worry kill you -- let the church help.

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

Weight Watchers will meet a 7 p.m. at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

Jean will be leading a weight-management series Wednesday nights. She's used the program herself and has been growing like crazy!

The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs... Julius Belzer.

This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.

Tuesday at 4:00 p.m. there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.

This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.

The service will close with Little Drops of Water. One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.

Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the carpet should come forward and do so.

The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They can be seen in the church basement Saturday.

Thursday night--Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.

Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when A. B. Doe supplied our pulpit.

The Rev. Adams spoke briefly, much to the delight of his audience.

The church is glad to have with us today as our guest minister the Rev. Shirley Green, who has Mrs. Green with him. After the service we request that all remain in the sanctuary for the Hanging of the Greens.

The eighth graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet" in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

The 1991 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11

Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.

Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan in preparing for the girth of their first child.

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. welcome

IT'S FRIDAY!!! dance

In Okie language that means, "I'M OFF/WOO HOO/NA NA NA NA NA/HA HA HA HA HA HA/I'M SO HAPPY/I think I may be going insane insane ?HEY! That's what I said" thumbsup

I think I may be rained in today. We're "supposed" to have rain all day. duh

If I'm rained in then I'm prepared for it. I have a gallon of paint to repaint the kitchen. sherlock

I also bought a tube of caulk to seal my sister in her bedroom. chocobunny

She loves me. She loves me not. taz

have a happy day everyone.

joe

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#876716 - 03/28/13 11:40 PM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 65211
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
lol Thanks for the chuckles Joe! You sure know how to party on your day off. lol I hope it doesn't rain all day so you can go out and walk with Baby.

I'll be going to dance in the morning and then I hope to be heading out on my bike. I should wash my floors, but I just don't want to.

I hope you all have a wonderful day!
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#876730 - 03/29/13 03:11 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 7810
Loc: Greece
Good morning Joe,Ana and all wave
Have all a happy day. bunny
_________________________

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.



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#876733 - 03/29/13 03:54 AM Re: TGIF [Re: Haroula]
cailyn Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 01/08/06
Posts: 6056
Loc: Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
Good morning Joe,Ana,Haroula and all who follow me in waveAna I know what you mean about not wanting to wash your floors,I should be washing mine also but it's just not in me tiredCoffee is on hope you all have a happy Friday bunny easter
_________________________
I may not have gone where I intended to go,but I think I have ended up where I need to be.

Sue

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#876746 - 03/29/13 05:46 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Online   happy
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 17305
Loc: Marlborough USA
easter Good Morning Joe, Ana, Haroula and Cailyn. Wishing everyone a peaceful Good Friday. easter
_________________________
Gerry

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#876752 - 03/29/13 06:11 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 03/07/09
Posts: 5496
Loc: Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Hello and goodbye. wave Have a great Friday, everyone. bunny

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#876754 - 03/29/13 06:16 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
GBC Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 14553
Loc: Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Joe, I'm sure your sister loves you dearly.

Ana, enjoy your bike ride.

Haroula, happy day to you also.

Cailyn, coffee sounds great!

Gerry, have a great day.

Venus, enjoy your workday.

I'll be off on my routine venture but I'll be back soon. Wishing everyone a wonderful Good Friday! easter
_________________________
Gail

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#876756 - 03/29/13 06:27 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Online   happy
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 17305
Loc: Marlborough USA
spring Good morning venus and Gail. Hope the sun shines on your day! spring
_________________________
Gerry

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#876758 - 03/29/13 06:36 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
Midge Online   happy
Adept Boomer

Registered: 04/30/00
Posts: 14679
Loc: Massachusetts
Good morning. I have an early shift today. See you after work. Have a good one. Morning Joe, Ana, Haroula, Sue, Gerry, venus, Gail, and all who come in today.

Midgie hearts
_________________________
Just do it.

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#876770 - 03/29/13 08:02 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Online   content
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 8115
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. Midge, prayers and hugs are on the way. hearts To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful TGIF. My computer friend says we need to look into new hard drives. Ours are very noisey and not performing as well as they should. He will check around for some good ones that don't cost an arm and a leg. We've had frost the last 3 mornings and next week it,s going to be in the high 80's. It sure is crazy weather. Danish, Omelets, and Hot chocolate in the NC. chocobunny easter
_________________________
Connie

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#876779 - 03/29/13 09:27 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 65211
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to dance I go! woot Catch you all after I burn some calories.

Have a happy day!
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#876797 - 03/29/13 11:16 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42376
Loc: Alabama
Fantastic Friday ya'll wave

Son is off to work. Hubby took the day off to help with the boys. Mr. Gunk seems to have taken up permanent residency. Must find a way to evict him. puppy
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#876800 - 03/29/13 11:25 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 13689
Loc: northern Wisconsin
Hiho, hiho, it's off to work I go!! lol Helping a friend move today and granddaughter is moving also. Should be a great day!!!

May you all have a wonderfully klovely day!!

wave
Nan

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#876807 - 03/29/13 12:15 PM Re: TGIF [Re: auntiegram]
Darlene Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/10/00
Posts: 9400
Loc: Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Hope the rain stays away and you're able to head hunt today!

Midgie, prayers of strength going up for you and your family! hearts Big hugs to you! hearts

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Decided to take the day off, so I slept in and it was wonderful. Hubby was up early for a round of
racquetball before seeing clients.

Easy peasy day planned.

Alrighty, off to see what's afoot!
_________________________
You become what you think about. Change your thoughts, change your life. - Dko

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#876812 - 03/29/13 12:58 PM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 65211
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
I am officially danced out, dig a quick run up 25 floors on the stair master, and a yoga class. I heard Merlin was a banshee while I was gone and is ready for a run, so despite the fact I know better. I am taking him out for a short 1 mile run. Long enough to let him burn some energy and hopefully he will not hurt worse.

Be back in a bit...
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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