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TGIF #876713
03/28/13 11:30 PM
03/28/13 11:30 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
Woody Allen
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chicken Crossing

Ever wonder why the chicken crossed the road?


ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.

RONALD REAGAN: What chicken?

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.

BILL CLINTON: That depends on what your definition of "did" is.

GEORGE BUSH JR: I don't know, but I'll tell you this: That chicken may run, but it can't hide. God bless America.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.

MARTIN LUTHER KING JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

FOX MULDER: Did you actually see it cross the road? Or did you suddenly notice that it had appeared on the other side? You think you saw it cross the road, but that's an illusion. How many more chickens have to appear before you believe it?

FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken Millenium Edition, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book, and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?

LOUIS FARRAKHAN: What color was the chicken? If you do your research, you will find that it was a white chicken. Roads are always black. The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.

THE BIBLE: And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

COLONEL SANDERS: You mean I missed one?!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Church Bloopers

This is a compilation of actual Church Bulletins and Service bloopers...


Our next song is "Angels We Have Heard Get High".

Don't let worry kill you -- let the church help.

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

Weight Watchers will meet a 7 p.m. at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

Jean will be leading a weight-management series Wednesday nights. She's used the program herself and has been growing like crazy!

The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs... Julius Belzer.

This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.

Tuesday at 4:00 p.m. there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.

This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.

The service will close with Little Drops of Water. One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.

Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the carpet should come forward and do so.

The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They can be seen in the church basement Saturday.

Thursday night--Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.

Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when A. B. Doe supplied our pulpit.

The Rev. Adams spoke briefly, much to the delight of his audience.

The church is glad to have with us today as our guest minister the Rev. Shirley Green, who has Mrs. Green with him. After the service we request that all remain in the sanctuary for the Hanging of the Greens.

The eighth graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet" in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

The 1991 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11

Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.

Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan in preparing for the girth of their first child.

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. welcome

IT'S FRIDAY!!! dance

In Okie language that means, "I'M OFF/WOO HOO/NA NA NA NA NA/HA HA HA HA HA HA/I'M SO HAPPY/I think I may be going insane insane ?HEY! That's what I said" thumbsup

I think I may be rained in today. We're "supposed" to have rain all day. duh

If I'm rained in then I'm prepared for it. I have a gallon of paint to repaint the kitchen. sherlock

I also bought a tube of caulk to seal my sister in her bedroom. chocobunny

She loves me. She loves me not. taz

have a happy day everyone.

joe

Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #876716
03/28/13 11:40 PM
03/28/13 11:40 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,238
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,238
In the Naughty Corner
lol Thanks for the chuckles Joe! You sure know how to party on your day off. lol I hope it doesn't rain all day so you can go out and walk with Baby.

I'll be going to dance in the morning and then I hope to be heading out on my bike. I should wash my floors, but I just don't want to.

I hope you all have a wonderful day!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #876730
03/29/13 03:11 AM
03/29/13 03:11 AM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer
Haroula  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Good morning Joe,Ana and all wave
Have all a happy day. bunny


I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

Re: TGIF [Re: Haroula] #876733
03/29/13 03:54 AM
03/29/13 03:54 AM
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,145
Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
cailyn Offline
BAAG Specialist
cailyn  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,145
Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
Good morning Joe,Ana,Haroula and all who follow me in waveAna I know what you mean about not wanting to wash your floors,I should be washing mine also but it's just not in me tiredCoffee is on hope you all have a happy Friday bunny easter


I may not have gone where I intended to go,but I think I have ended up where I need to be.

Sue
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #876746
03/29/13 05:46 AM
03/29/13 05:46 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,099
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,099
Marlborough USA
easter Good Morning Joe, Ana, Haroula and Cailyn. Wishing everyone a peaceful Good Friday. easter


Gerry
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #876752
03/29/13 06:11 AM
03/29/13 06:11 AM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Hello and goodbye. wave Have a great Friday, everyone. bunny


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #876754
03/29/13 06:16 AM
03/29/13 06:16 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Joe, I'm sure your sister loves you dearly.

Ana, enjoy your bike ride.

Haroula, happy day to you also.

Cailyn, coffee sounds great!

Gerry, have a great day.

Venus, enjoy your workday.

I'll be off on my routine venture but I'll be back soon. Wishing everyone a wonderful Good Friday! easter


Gail
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #876756
03/29/13 06:27 AM
03/29/13 06:27 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,099
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,099
Marlborough USA
spring Good morning venus and Gail. Hope the sun shines on your day! spring


Gerry
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #876758
03/29/13 06:36 AM
03/29/13 06:36 AM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Midge Offline
Graduate Boomer
Midge  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Good morning. I have an early shift today. See you after work. Have a good one. Morning Joe, Ana, Haroula, Sue, Gerry, venus, Gail, and all who come in today.

Midgie hearts


Just do it.
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #876770
03/29/13 08:02 AM
03/29/13 08:02 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,014
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,014
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. Midge, prayers and hugs are on the way. hearts To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful TGIF. My computer friend says we need to look into new hard drives. Ours are very noisey and not performing as well as they should. He will check around for some good ones that don't cost an arm and a leg. We've had frost the last 3 mornings and next week it,s going to be in the high 80's. It sure is crazy weather. Danish, Omelets, and Hot chocolate in the NC. chocobunny easter


Connie
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #876779
03/29/13 09:27 AM
03/29/13 09:27 AM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,238
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,238
In the Naughty Corner
Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to dance I go! woot Catch you all after I burn some calories.

Have a happy day!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #876797
03/29/13 11:16 AM
03/29/13 11:16 AM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Fantastic Friday ya'll wave

Son is off to work. Hubby took the day off to help with the boys. Mr. Gunk seems to have taken up permanent residency. Must find a way to evict him. puppy


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #876800
03/29/13 11:25 AM
03/29/13 11:25 AM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
Hiho, hiho, it's off to work I go!! lol Helping a friend move today and granddaughter is moving also. Should be a great day!!!

May you all have a wonderfully klovely day!!

wave
Nan

Re: TGIF [Re: auntiegram] #876807
03/29/13 12:15 PM
03/29/13 12:15 PM
Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
Darlene Offline
Adept Boomer
Darlene  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Hope the rain stays away and you're able to head hunt today!

Midgie, prayers of strength going up for you and your family! hearts Big hugs to you! hearts

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Decided to take the day off, so I slept in and it was wonderful. Hubby was up early for a round of
racquetball before seeing clients.

Easy peasy day planned.

Alrighty, off to see what's afoot!


Woohoo and booyah! smile Have an easy peasy day!
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #876812
03/29/13 12:58 PM
03/29/13 12:58 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,238
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,238
In the Naughty Corner
I am officially danced out, dig a quick run up 25 floors on the stair master, and a yoga class. I heard Merlin was a banshee while I was gone and is ready for a run, so despite the fact I know better. I am taking him out for a short 1 mile run. Long enough to let him burn some energy and hopefully he will not hurt worse.

Be back in a bit...


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #876814
03/29/13 01:23 PM
03/29/13 01:23 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Nan, have fun moving. And God Bless you for helping. wave

Darlene, enjoy your day!

Ana, I hope Merlin has fun.

I am "off" to do our taxes, always a lot of fun....Not!


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #876824
03/29/13 03:07 PM
03/29/13 03:07 PM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
Well the U-Haul is all loaded with everything but the freezer and scooter and they will go on in the morning.

Time now to relax before I have to get ready so the taxi can run and then be off to work the fish fry!

L4l have fun with the taxes. May all go well for ya!

Darlene glad you chose for an extra day off. Enjoy!!!

Ana I am worn out reading about all you did this morning. lol Have a nice run with the dogs and hope Merlin comes through with little or no side affects!!

Have a wonderful rest of the day everybody!!!

wave
Nan

Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #876825
03/29/13 03:10 PM
03/29/13 03:10 PM
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 3,295
Oregon
Lotus777 Offline
Addicted Boomer
Lotus777  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 3,295
Oregon
Good Morning Boomies! Spring is here, at least for today!! It is in the low 70's and I'd be doing cartwheels if I could!! Instead I will get drunk on the sunshine. spring I hope Merlin has a good time, Ana, without bad results. They are so precious to us. Midgie, my heart goes out to you and your family. Prayers for all of you. My dogs are begging to go out and smell the warm air and play and dig...oh how they like to dig!!! Hope everyone has a great day and Happy Gaming!! wave


Lotus
Life is like a hot bath. It feels good while you’re in it, but the longer you stay in, the more wrinkled you get.
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #876841
03/29/13 03:53 PM
03/29/13 03:53 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Finally made contact with my yard kid. He called to ask if I hated him and could I forgive him. Sigh. Then he came over and we chatted. I told him I don't hate him, nothing to forgive BUT I wanted a definite day and time to get my yard done, no excuses, no cancellations, no lies.

We agreed on Sunday at 10 am. I have little confidence that he will show. I do however now have his schedule for his DUI classes. Aha. Tricked him into letting me copy it. 12 weeks 18 classes and counseling. All after 5 pm so he's totally been lying about all the 'other' times he went to class and had to cancel the yard work. I already knew that. He's not remembering all the stories he has told me and I'm not going to try to 'fix' him. Too much effort. I'll be thrilled if he shows on Sunday and does a good job.

To illustrate his way of thinking: When he came yesterday at 5 pm, he said he had worked all day but would do my front yard right then. Ummmm, didn't he just tell me he had to be at his first DUI class at 5:30? I have a good memory. It took me 5 minutes of convincing to get him to hurry off to his class and not cut my yard. The class is only 2 blocks from here, but 5 pm to 5:30 AND cutting grass?? Geez. His brain just doesn't work right. Poor kid.

So I wait. I told him that if he failed to show on Sunday at 10 am, I would get someone else to do the job. Hopefully he will show. Hate to throw him out when he's been doing stuff for me for 4 plus years now. Hoping for the best. duh


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #876846
03/29/13 04:24 PM
03/29/13 04:24 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Ahhhh, taxes mostly done...missing some 1099's which we can pick up on Monday. Hubby at the park with the boys. Sky bringing me everything in the den that he can pick up. Heading up to lie down for a bit before it's time to make dinner. wave


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #876852
03/29/13 05:06 PM
03/29/13 05:06 PM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer
Haroula  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
sleep wave


I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #876854
03/29/13 05:13 PM
03/29/13 05:13 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,238
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,238
In the Naughty Corner
I am officially exhausted. I don't even have the strength to hit the showers which I definitely need. I ended walking up the dogs 2 miles because Merlin was keeping a reasonable pace and not flying around at top speed. Then I went to the river on my bike and made it 18 miles. Not bad for my second outing and after all the other stuff. I found a dead coyote today too. sad Much tinier than they appear when I see them running around.

be back...maybe I can make it to the shower.


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #876864
03/29/13 07:01 PM
03/29/13 07:01 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Awww Ana, dead coyote, how sad.

And in other news: My yard kid called, on a totally different matter! He and his sister-in-law had taken in a roommate and they want her out. He says she's weird and bossy, and accusing them of stealing, etc. So he wanted me to write up an eviction type notice to get rid of her. I asked about her being on the actual lease/rental agreement or having any written anything. He doesn't think so, so I just did a generic, please move out in 30 days notice. Very official, very legal. I should charge for my legal services. rotfl I even included the option of moving out BEFORE 30 days just in case she might want to get out early, so they know they have to return some of her rent, etc. Landlord stuff, I'm an expert. Ugh.


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #876865
03/29/13 07:02 PM
03/29/13 07:02 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Ana, you make me tired reading about what you did.

I went to bed and became totally unconscious for a couple of hours. Hubby and son home now. Son cooking dinner, good for him after working all day. Hubby putting new hard drive in his computer to see if that will fix all the problems he's been having.

Back later wave


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: TGIF [Re: looney4labs] #876894
03/29/13 08:51 PM
03/29/13 08:51 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Have a great weekend everyone. thumbsup


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
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