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#879281 - 04/08/13 01:06 AM Monday's
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 30026
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
Women should be obscene and not heard.
Groucho Marx
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Morons Of The Year
Presenting the top morons of the year...

1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?
AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.

2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:
Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, "Please come out and give yourself up."

3. WHAT WAS PLAN B???
An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from own his bank accounts.

4. THE GETAWAY!
A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop, and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked at the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.

5. DID I SAY THAT???
Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a line-up. When detectives asked each man in the line-up to repeat the words: "Give me all your money or I'll shoot," the man shouted, "That's not what I said!"

6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING??
A man spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked. "No!" the man shouted, "This is her husband!"

7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!!
In Modesto, California, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun, but unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (hellllllooooooo!)

8. THE GRAND FINALE
Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, California, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 ft. boat going. It was very sluggish in almost every manoeuvre, no matter how much power was applied.

After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted to a nearby marina, thinking someone there could tell them what was wrong.

A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the out drive went up and down, and the prop was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath.

He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard. NOW REMEMBER...THIS IS TRUE ... Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Athelete Quotes
Here are some quotes from famous atheletes that most likely explain why they can't seem to get regular jobs...

1. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: " I wan' all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan' all the kids to copulate me."

2. New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season: "I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."

3. And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skin's say: "I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl." Matt Millen of the Raiders said: "To win, I'd run over Joe's Mom, too."

4. Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins: "He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings.."

5. Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann: "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."

6. Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh : "I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes." (Now that is beautiful)

7. Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You guys line up alphabetically by height. "And, "You guys pair up in groups of three, and then line up in a circle."

8. Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson going to prison: "Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton."

9. Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker: "That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes."

10. Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime of heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning, regardless of what time it is."

11. Chuck Nevitt , North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice: "My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt." (I wonder if his IQ ever hit room temperature in January)

12. Frank Layden , Utah Jazz president, on a former player: "I told him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'"

13. Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four F's and one D: "Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject."

14. In the words of NC State great Charles Shackelford I can go to my left or right, I am amphibious.

15. Amarillo High School and Oiler coach Bum Phillips when asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips, Phillips responded: "Because she is too [blip] ugly to kiss good-bye."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. welcome

It's a brand new day. Woo Hoo! yay

Have you ever seen anything that was brand old??

Anyway, time marches on. thumbsup


Time waits for no man.


There's no time like the present. rolleyes


If you've got the time, we've got the beer. dance


Hey is it five o'clock yet?? duh


I'll just bet it's 5 o'clock somewhere. snicker


I don't know why but it sure seems like a Saturday to me.

Oh Yeah. It's because I'm off for the next TWO WHOLE DAYS!!! chocobunny

I hope you all have a happy day.

joe


Edited by gymcandy1 (04/08/13 01:12 AM)
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#879282 - 04/08/13 02:40 AM Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 7668
Loc: Greece
Good morning boomers,have all a nice day wave
_________________________

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.



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#879285 - 04/08/13 03:06 AM Re: Monday's [Re: Haroula]
Gimli Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 06/15/05
Posts: 2314
Loc: Switzerland
Good morning Joe, Haroula and everybody coming in after me wave

Ana and Nan: thank you for asking about my Mum kissy She is, according to her Doctor, escaping all the loneliness and loss after Dad's death, into an amnesia. She often don't remember what was yesterday. She did a shrine for my Dad on the table and is asking him a hundred times a day to come get her too. I hope it's only until after the funeral. We had to wait with the urn burial till my niece came back from her honeymoon (only yesterday), because she begged us to wait for her. Urn burial will now be tomorrow Tuesday. We three children go to Mum's by turns, so that she has company every day. But she is so unconsolably sad.... We had to organise funeral ceremony and all the 1000 odds and ends after a Death all by ourselves. My Mum was sitting at the table, weeping. It's strange isn't it! It wasn't the best marriage, and we children suffered for umphteen years mediating between them two. And now this completely breakdown of my Mum's. I appreciate your prayers my friends! We aren't at the end of the tunnel yet.

I try to come more regularly to the Diner. Funeral tomorrow will be a hard day for all of us, but after that we must look forward again.

Happy day to you all! Smooches!

Evelyne
_________________________
"You ask me what life is. That's like asking me what a carrot is. A carrot is a carrot is a carrot" (A. Chekhov)

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#879297 - 04/08/13 04:42 AM Re: Monday's [Re: Gimli]
cailyn Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 01/08/06
Posts: 6044
Loc: Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
Good morning Joe,Haroula,Evelyne waveCoffee is ready!It's a little nicer this morning 47 degrees chocobunnyEvelyne my continued prayers for your Mum and family hearts have a great day everyone puppy
_________________________
I may not have gone where I intended to go,but I think I have ended up where I need to be.

Sue

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#879305 - 04/08/13 05:38 AM Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 17161
Loc: Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, Haroula, Evelyne and Cailyn. Joe have a nice "weekend" off. yes Haroula enjoy your day. smile Cailyn it's cold here too this morning. shiver Evelyne so sorry for all you are going thru. Hugs and prayers. catrub Take Care.
_________________________
Gerry

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#879313 - 04/08/13 06:11 AM Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1]
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 03/07/09
Posts: 5423
Loc: Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Hello and goodbye. wave

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#879314 - 04/08/13 06:15 AM Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 17161
Loc: Marlborough USA
Good morning venus! Have a great day! wave
_________________________
Gerry

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#879319 - 04/08/13 06:56 AM Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 8073
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. Evelyn, prayers for strength and comfort are on the way to your mum, you, and your family. Lots of hugs too. hearts A walmart trip is on the agenda for today. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Monday. Danish, Blueberry Pancakes, and Muffins in the NC. I'm trying to send some of our warm weather to all who need it. spring
_________________________
Connie

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#879327 - 04/08/13 07:23 AM Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1]
GBC Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 14432
Loc: Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Joe, enjoy your time off!

Haroula, good morning.

Evelyne, hugs. Prayers out your way for you and your Mom.

Cailyn, yay on the coffee and the milder weather on the way.

Gerry, have a good day!

Venus, good day at work is wished.

Connie, thanks for the Danish. Have a good time at Wal Mart.

Routine morning then a nice dog walking. Good day to All!
_________________________
Gail

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#879362 - 04/08/13 09:41 AM Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1]
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
True Blue Boomer

Registered: 04/16/05
Posts: 21228
Loc: Usually up an Alabama Tree
Woo Woo Woo .. enjoy your Days Off Joe thumbsup

I'm doing the same today and it is goodness as I get to enjoy Connie's Danish and Muffins!! It just doesn't get much better than this .. I'm off to surf, sip, garden and listen to my whale music

penguin

Have a wonderful Moanday everyone wave

(hearts L4L)
_________________________
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games

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#879379 - 04/08/13 10:05 AM Re: Monday's [Re: soot]
Darlene Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/10/00
Posts: 9365
Loc: Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Enjoy your time off! Woohoo! rah

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
_________________________
You become what you think about. Change your thoughts, change your life. - Dko

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#879391 - 04/08/13 10:31 AM Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1]
flutist Online   happy
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/17/01
Posts: 11403
Loc: Kirkwood, MO USA
Good morning y'all.

Evelyn, prayers and condolences to you and your family.

Yesterday it got to 80 degrees here. Upper 70's for today. We did get .6 inch of rain yesterday evening and rain is predicted off and on through Thursday.

Have a good day everyone.

Bets
_________________________
Corgis fill your life with Joy, your heart with Love, and your soul with Sunshine.

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#879395 - 04/08/13 10:45 AM Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42273
Loc: Alabama
Magnificent Monday ya'll puppy

I was having such a bad dream when Soot very kindly woke me up. Hate dreams like that. Now I'm up sitting and sipping and contemplating getting the monkeys to the park.

Evelyne, big big hugs to you and your family. It's never easy. I hope you all will be able to keep your mom engaged. Is she involved in something that will keep her from isolating herself? She is blessed to have you guys around her.

Hubby and I watched the Hobbit last night...still love it. Then we tried to get an WoW achieve but I think there was a glitch.

wave
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#879411 - 04/08/13 11:21 AM Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1]
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 7226
Loc: San Diego, CA
Evelyne, my dad was a minister for many years and did countless bereavement counselings and funerals. I was always there playing the organ or just attending with him and mom. The funeral ceremony itself seems to have always been the 'final' goodbye and the start of healing for everyone. It's a necessary part of the process. I'm praying and am sure that your mum will begin to heal after the final goodbye is said. Much love to all and hugs.

Dreary and spitting rain today. Windy too and cold. Just after I opened all my windows again thinking Spring was here and warm weather was in sight. Ugh. Going to put on a jacket and tough it out.

Outdoorsies are hunkering in their tents because it's nasty out. You know it's bad when the hungry ferals won't come out for breakfast!

Off to check on the burgled house. Hope it's intact. Will report on my Sorta's Neighborhood string.
_________________________
WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.

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#879427 - 04/08/13 11:48 AM Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42273
Loc: Alabama
Oh my goodness, I just had the funnniest senior moment. Sitting here sipping and looked at hubby and said, "When we are finished sitting and sipping, you want to take the monkeys and head out to Bodcau?"

KISA looked at me with a blank look and said, "What?"

At which I realized I had said "Bodcau", which is where we used to camp in the 1980's. Ooooops confused
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#879434 - 04/08/13 12:05 PM Re: Monday's [Re: looney4labs]
Gimli Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 06/15/05
Posts: 2314
Loc: Switzerland
Thank you all so very much for your continuous prayers and for your loving and warm words. It helps so much to have such kind friends. kissy I'am sending a really big big bear hug to all of you! See you Wednesday again. Much love!!

Evelyne
_________________________
"You ask me what life is. That's like asking me what a carrot is. A carrot is a carrot is a carrot" (A. Chekhov)

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#879438 - 04/08/13 12:09 PM Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 13642
Loc: northern Wisconsin
Joe may you have a wonderful weekend full of fun and folly!!! lol Happy head hunting. Thanks for the chuckles.

Haroula have a lovely day!

Evelyne HUGS!!! Prayers continue. May He give you all the strength to make it through tomorrow and then on the way to healing and moving on with life. Will be keeping you in my thoughts for tomorrow, HUGS! hearts

Cailyn thanks for the coffee. Enjoy the warmer temps. We had more snow last night.

Gerry have a lovely walk and day!

venus happy work whoooooshing. lol May work fly and be fun!

Midge missing you and keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. HUGS!

Connie missed you yesterday! Have fun at Wally World and I hope something fun hops into the cart! Thanks for the danish! Heat....Please!!!

Gail Hugs for the routine!! Glad it is nice for a dog walk, enjoy! Not here though cause Sassy don't like to get her feet wet. lol With the slushy snow we have been getting it makes for wet walking. Some places I have to pick her up with the leash and carry her over the puddles. lol Good thing she weras a harness.

Soot woohoo on another day off. Makes for a nice long weekend! Enjoy the day and the plans!!

Darlene may work all go smoothly today!! Have a lovely day!

Bets what lovely weather you been having!! Please send a little this direction....pleaseandthankyou!!!

L4l glad soot was there to awake you from a bad dream!! Enjoy the day and have a lovely walk in the park!!

Sorta at least you have some heat with that dreary weather. lol

No plans so far!!!!

wave
Nan

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#879440 - 04/08/13 12:14 PM Re: Monday's [Re: auntiegram]
Gimli Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 06/15/05
Posts: 2314
Loc: Switzerland
Nan: kissy hearts Love you!
_________________________
"You ask me what life is. That's like asking me what a carrot is. A carrot is a carrot is a carrot" (A. Chekhov)

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#879447 - 04/08/13 12:24 PM Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Online   happy
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 64938
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Good morning boomies! Slow start today, not sure what I accomplished but I've been busy. lol

I am off to run the dogs now that the rain stopped. It's 50 mph gusts of wind though so it'll be fun. My house is creaking and the windows banging. rotfl

Evelyne, big hugs my dear. I hope the funeral will help your mom with the grieving process. Prayers for strength for you all. hearts

Be back!
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#879476 - 04/08/13 02:23 PM Re: Monday's [Re: BrownEyedTigre]
luv2travel Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 01/30/02
Posts: 2109
Loc: Phoenix, AZ USA
Hi Boomies!
Just heard that Annette Funicello died today, and Margaret Thatcher too.
I always wanted to be Annette. I watched the Mickey Mouse Club faithfully in the 50's when I was a kid. Loved her, but know her life with MS was difficult. God bless her.
Very windy here in AZ, and lots of dust in the air and pollen. Temp not too high, but can't go outside because of allergies.
Evelyne, so sorry about your mom. You, your mom and your family are in my prayers.
Wishing all GBers a great day!
Andrea wave

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#879481 - 04/08/13 03:09 PM Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Online   happy
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 64938
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
THe video Annette's husband made and released a few months ago is enough to make you cry. I am happy she is now resting in peace.
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#879487 - 04/08/13 03:32 PM Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42273
Loc: Alabama
Ana, 50 mph eek and double eek

It was raining pollen outside today, but it was so lovely and hubby was off so we went to the bike trail and got in 2 1/2 miles up, down, and around. I am officially tired now. Felt great to get home and get clean and sit down. puppy
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#879489 - 04/08/13 03:49 PM Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Online   happy
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 64938
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
L4L, by the time I got to the open field by the lake , I was walking hunched forward trying to march into it. rotfl Even the dogs tails and ears were flying and they stared at me like it's all my fault.

Dinner is made so I can hit the shower and get ready to dance tonight. Sam is going with me tonight. yay
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#879492 - 04/08/13 03:56 PM Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1]
Space Quest Fan Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 9527
Loc: Columbus,Ohio USA
Those were great Joe rotfl
_________________________
It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

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#879497 - 04/08/13 04:30 PM Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 7668
Loc: Greece
sleep wave
_________________________

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.



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#879527 - 04/08/13 05:55 PM Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 13642
Loc: northern Wisconsin
Night Haroula! Sleep well.

Space have a nice relaxing evening!!

Ana I can just picture that too. lol Have fun at dance tonight with Sam! I am going to BINGO!!

L4l sounds like you and hubby and the dogs had a nice hike!! Have a nice relaxing evening.

Andrea hope that the winds die down and the dust goes away!!

Night Evelyne sleep well!!

wave
Nan

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#879532 - 04/08/13 06:19 PM Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42273
Loc: Alabama
Time to get dinner going. I'm starving! puppy
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#879548 - 04/08/13 07:22 PM Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1]
Lotus777 Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 03/12/06
Posts: 3270
Loc: Oregon
Hi Boomers!! Been busy and just lurking here and there and reading a lot. Spring is not here yet as we had several winter like storms in a row complete with winds and rains. Hoping it doesn't continue and blow all of the apple blossoms away. Evelyne, I am sending you many hugs and prayers for strength. Also for your family! Off I go to find some home made pickles in the spare fridge in the camp trailer. Vege burgers for dinner, no red meat here, lol. Have a nice evening everyone and Happy Gaming!! wave
_________________________
Lotus
Life is like a hot bath. It feels good while you’re in it, but the longer you stay in, the more wrinkled you get.

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#879556 - 04/08/13 08:38 PM Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42273
Loc: Alabama
Lotus, hope you found your pickles and enjoyed your veggie burgers.

We had burgers as well, though ours were of the red meat variety and homemade.

Dogs are fed, monthly pill packs are made, and I'm thinking that in a very few minutes I will be heading up to clears some space on the DVR followed by clearing space on the Kindle by reading.

Very busy day...a bit more stressful for Soot than I'd like as his computer is Not playing nicely with his IPod or his tablet.

Sleep well all sleep
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#879558 - 04/08/13 08:49 PM Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1]
Midge Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 04/30/00
Posts: 14639
Loc: Massachusetts
Hi guys. Haven't been here for awhile. My sister and BIL are in from San Fran. I'm loving having them here. Will post some more later.

Midgie hearts
_________________________
Just do it.

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#879582 - 04/08/13 11:56 PM Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Online   happy
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 64938
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Midgie, I am glad you have company. hearts

Sweet dreams all.
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#879583 - 04/09/13 12:04 AM Re: Monday's [Re: Midge]
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 30026
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
oops Ah..Good morning everybody.. lol

Senior moment....again. blush

I thought I had been here at least once today to post. rolleyes

Sorry. yes

I hope you all had a super day. rah

joe
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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