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#880718 - 04/13/13 11:39 PM Sumday's Best
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 30035
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde.
Dolly Parton
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop. Right away they go to the bird section and Sean says to Paddy; "Dat''s Dem". The shopkeeper comes over and asks if he can help.

"Yeah, we''ll take four of dem dere budgies in dat cage op dere", says Mick, "Put dem in a pepper bag"

The shopkeeper does as asked and the two pay for the birds and leave. They get into Mick''s van and drive until they reach a cliff with a 500ft drop.

"Dis looks loike a grand place", says Mick.

He then takes the two birds out of the bag, places them on his shoulders and jumps off the cliff.

Paddy watches as his friend drops off the edge and goes straight down for a few seconds followed by a loud "Splat!"

As Paddy looks over the edge of the cliff he shakes his head.

Paddy says, "dis budgie jumpin'' is too dangerous for me..."

A few minutes later, Seamus approaches. He too has been to the pet shop and is carrying the familiar 'pepper bag.'

Seamus pulls a parrot out of the bag and Paddy notices that in the other hand Seamus is carrying a gun.

"Watch this Paddy" he says, as he launches himself over the edge of the cliff.

Paddy watches as half way down Seamus takes the gun and blows the parrot''s head off. Seamus continues to plummet until he joins Sean''s mashed remains at the bottom of the cliff.

Paddy shakes his head and says, "An oim never troyin'' that parrotshooting oider..."

After a few minutes, Danny strolls up. He too has been to the pet shop and walks up with his 'pepper bag.'

Danny pulls a chicken out of the bag. He puts the chicken above his head, holds its legs and launches himself off the cliff with the same result.

Once more Paddy shakes his head.

"For me life Danny, first der was Sean wit his budgie jumpin, den Seamus parrotshooting and now you hengliding..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A woman went down to the Welfare Office to get aid. The office worker asked her, "How many children do you have?"

"Ten," she replied.

"What are their names?" he asked.

"David, David, David, David, David, David, David, David, David and David," she answered.

"They're all named David?" he asked "What if you want them to come in from playing outside?"

"Oh, that's easy," she said. "I just call 'David,' and they all come running in."

"And, if you want them to come to the table for dinner?"

"I just say, 'David, come eat your dinner'," she answered.

"But what if you just want ONE of them to do something?" he asked.

"Oh, that's easy," she said. "I just use their last name!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the backwoods of Arkansas, Mr. Stewart's wife went into labor in the middle of the night. The doctor was called in to assist in the delivery.

To keep the nervous father-to-be busy, the doctor handed him a lantern and said, "Here, you hold this high so I can see what I'm doing." Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world.

"Don't be in a rush to put the lantern down. I think there's yet another wee one to come." Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered another baby.

"Now don't be in a great hurry to be putting down that lantern, young man. It seems there's yet another!" cried the doctor.

The new father scratched his head in bewilderment and asked the doctor. "Do ya think it's the light that's attractin' them?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If a man and a woman get married in Texas and move to Washington are they still brother and sister?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A blonde has sharp pains in her side. The doctor examines her and says, "You have acute appendicitis."

The blonde says, "Thank you! That's sweet, doc, but what is causing the pain in my side?."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. welcome

Welcome to lazy Sunday. tired

Sunday is so lazy I haven't even gotten to it yet and I can't stay awake. sleep

If I'm lucky I'm getting one sentence done every 10 minutes. shocked

At that rate I'll finish Sunday's diner by 6pm Sunday. slapforehead

Ok....ready or not, here it comes. razz

Have a happy day everyone. thumbsup

joe
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#880720 - 04/14/13 12:01 AM Re: Sumday's Best [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 65028
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Welcome to your first full day of vacation Joe! Enjoy and ease into it. hearts

I'll be heading out in the morning to Starved Rock to hike and climb. It is supposed to reach 70 degrees so I am excited for one warm day! yay

Have a happy day everyone!

Ana wave
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#880728 - 04/14/13 12:56 AM Re: Sumday's Best [Re: BrownEyedTigre]
manxman Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 07/23/02
Posts: 15171
Loc: Unionville
Good morning all wave
Joe, lazy Sunday sounds good. Ana, hope you enjoy your hike and climb smile
_________________________
Sometimes lost is where you need to be. Just because you don't know your direction doesn't mean you don't have one.

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#880734 - 04/14/13 02:34 AM Re: Sumday's Best [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 7714
Loc: Greece
Good morning boomers wave
Enjoy your Sunday happydance
_________________________

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.



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#880741 - 04/14/13 05:14 AM Re: Sumday's Best [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 17207
Loc: Marlborough USA
Good morning Joe, Ana, manxman, Haroula. Joe enjoy your day. Ana sounds like a fun day for you! Manxman and Haroula hope the day is sunny for you too. Coffee is on Cailyn. Happy Sunday All! wave
_________________________
Gerry

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#880756 - 04/14/13 07:24 AM Re: Sumday's Best [Re: gymcandy1]
GBC Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 14474
Loc: Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Joe, I know this is a happy day for you. Enjoy your time off.

Ana, enjoy your climb. Glad the weather is cooperating.

Manxman, good morning.

Haroula, good day.

Gerry, thanks for the coffee.

Caiyln, I won't drink all the coffee. I saved you a couple of cups.

Nan, I can't believe how much snow you get. I hope Spring weather finds you soon.

Midgie, how are you doing?

Connie, have a great day when you come in.

To everyone who comes in today, I'm wishing it's a good one!

Church this morning then a nice quiet day!
_________________________
Gail

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#880761 - 04/14/13 07:33 AM Re: Sumday's Best [Re: gymcandy1]
Midge Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 04/30/00
Posts: 14648
Loc: Massachusetts
Good morning. Pass the BB pancakes pleaseandthankyou.. Mmmmm.
Morning Joe, Ana kissy,manxman, Haroula, Gerry, and Gail. I'm doing good Gail. How about you?

Off to work. See you later.

Midgie hearts
_________________________
Just do it.

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#880762 - 04/14/13 07:38 AM Re: Sumday's Best [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Online   content
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 8082
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. Breakfast out and a Sam's trip today. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Sunday. Danish, Bacon and Eggs, Home Fries, and Toast in the NC. spring
_________________________
Connie

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#880783 - 04/14/13 10:22 AM Re: Sumday's Best [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42306
Loc: Alabama
Super Sunday ya'll puppy

Woke up uber achy so today will be a quiet one....perhaps some sorting or cleaning out my bedroom closet but that's it.

We had big ole thunder boomies last night but the trees stayed up, or at least, off the roof so it's all good. Still raining today as I discovered when Skyman came in all wet.

The Per is up...son and Cully still sleeping...KISA is up an relaxing. wave


Edited by looney4labs (04/14/13 03:30 PM)
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#880784 - 04/14/13 10:30 AM Re: Sumday's Best [Re: looney4labs]
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 30035
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
Good morning everybody. wave

It's been a lazy morning so far, although I did clean Pepper's penthouse, and burn trash. yes

I texted my friend Shane, and we are going out head hunting in a bit when he gets here. happydance

I hope you all a great morning. rah

joe
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#880793 - 04/14/13 10:47 AM Re: Sumday's Best [Re: gymcandy1]
flutist Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/17/01
Posts: 11408
Loc: Kirkwood, MO USA
Good morning everyone.

Had a good time at the birthday party last night.

It is going to be a beautiful day with temps in the upper 70's. I'll take it. Yeah!!!!!

Susie is home. Won't go into details but she is going to look for a new primary doctor.

Bill is going to get the scarecrows hooked up this morning. Hostas are starting to come up and the deer are interested. We came home Friday night and there were two deer in our yard.

Have a great day everyone.

Bets
_________________________
Corgis fill your life with Joy, your heart with Love, and your soul with Sunshine.

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#880806 - 04/14/13 12:39 PM Re: Sumday's Best [Re: flutist]
Darlene Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/10/00
Posts: 9374
Loc: Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Sounds like a great Sunday you have planned. Happy head hunting!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Church this morning, then easy peasy. A little drizzle here this morning. A good day to spend inside. smile

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
_________________________
You become what you think about. Change your thoughts, change your life. - Dko

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#880812 - 04/14/13 01:00 PM Re: Sumday's Best [Re: gymcandy1]
Sorta Blonde Online   content
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 7249
Loc: San Diego, CA
Oh oh oh! It's definite now. My all over body pain (muscles, bones, you name it) has something to do with water retention. Yup. It's official. After ankle swelling and taking some 'water pills' and getting rid of about 5 lbs of water, I felt so much better. Even walked TWO miles (unheard of for me) down to Wally Mart and back. In a few days, pains were back so I waited and took another dose of the pills. Today...fantastically less pains all over.

Have no idea why, but I'm going to talk to my doctor now and see what the extra water retention has to do with my all over pains. Weird stuff. Might be why the antihistamines also made me feel a bit better painwise. Dries up the tissues a bit.

So off to make a doc appointment and see if he looks at me like I'm a crazy person. I'm sure he will but I don't care. Anything that works for this pain is fine with me. Thinking about taking another long walk today while I still feel halfway normal.

Outdoorsie update: After buying one kitty tent for Spot the old lady, and having her love it but then being displaced by the Outdoorsie Mom cat, I bought tent 2 and that solved the problem. THEN Mom cat and her only girl offspring decided that instead of grouping in one tent, they would each take a tent, thereby shoving out poor old Spot. So I bought a 3rd tent! Perfect. 3 tents, no way Mom cat and her gal can be in 3 places so now Spot has figured there is always One tent available for her. Problem solved unless some other feral decides to be a tent cat.

The things I go through for my cats!

Neighbor's kitties were on my front porch this morning looking at me and meowing. They are getting enough food and I think they are just lonely. I'm still hoping they make friends with my Outdoorsies. I'm going to turn one of my security cameras to see if his new kitties come over for food at night to my feeders. Adorable kitties but I reallllly don't need anymore. Sigh.
_________________________
WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.

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#880827 - 04/14/13 02:19 PM Re: Sumday's Best [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 13657
Loc: northern Wisconsin
Aw Joe....enjoy the day and Happy Headhunting!! Thanks for the laughs.

Ana enjoy the hike today!! I would give anything to be there today then here especially since it is only about 35 and threatening more snow. lol Have fun and be safe!!

Haroula have a lovely day!

manxman have a lovely day!

Gerry thanks for getting the coffee started!! Have a nicwe day!

Gail enjoy church and the nice relaxing rest of the day! I'm hoping Spring finds it way here too. lol Enough is enough!! It was finally to where me and Sassy could do some serious walking and now everything is covered with frozen snow and hard to walk in.

Connie enjoy breakfast out and have fun shopping. Thanks for the danish!

Midge have fun at work and hope you enjoyed the BB pancakes!!

L4l enjoy the nice easy peasy day! I was looking at the radar and see all the rain down there. Prayers for safety!!

Bets enjoy the lovely weather. Hope all will be right with Susie!!

Darlene enjoy church and the easy indoor day. Rainy=gaming!!! lol

Sorta Hope that is all there is to it but then there is a reason for the retention. Hope all the kitties are happy and get along. Have a nice walk!!

No plans but to wait and watch the snow arrive. lol Maybe do some gaming. OR work on a puzzle.

wave
Nan

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#880835 - 04/14/13 03:14 PM Re: Sumday's Best [Re: gymcandy1]
Lotus777 Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 03/12/06
Posts: 3270
Loc: Oregon
Good Afternoon Boomers. Been fighting some sort of bug so not had much to say lately. Wanted to plant greenhouse today but still not up to it, boo!! Hubby's birthday is this week, along with his twin sis, the cake maker and I get to make the cake so I had better be up to it!! Making a wild and crazy combo of carrot cake with pineapple and coconut mixed with cheese cake...looks marbled when cut, topped with a cream cheese icing. He likes the pineapple and coconut and she likes the cheesecake. We shall see how this goes, lol . I am heading back to my couch, tablet and book. Happy Gaming everyone. wave
_________________________
Lotus
Life is like a hot bath. It feels good while you’re in it, but the longer you stay in, the more wrinkled you get.

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