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#883744 - 04/26/13 07:51 PM Saturdiner
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 30109
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
You don't have to be mad to work here, but you do have to be on time, well presented, a team player, customer service focused and sober!
David Brent
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Farmer John lived on a quiet rural highway. But, as time went by, the traffic slowly built up at an alarming rate. The traffic was so heavy and so fast that his chickens were being run over at a rate of three to six a day. So one day Farmer John called the sheriff's office and said, "You've got to do something about all of these people driving so fast and killing all of my chickens."

"What do you want me to do?" asked the sheriff.

"I don't care, just do something about those crazy drivers!"

So the next day he had the county workers go out and erect a sign that said: SLOW: SCHOOL CROSSING

Three days later Farmer John called the sheriff and said, "You've got to do something about these drivers. The School Crossing sign seems to make them go even faster." So, again, the sheriff sends out the county workers and they put up a new sign: SLOW: CHILDREN AT PLAY

That really sped them up. So Farmer John called and called and called every day for three weeks.
Finally, he asked the sheriff, "Your signs are doing no good. Can I put up my own sign?"

The sheriff told him, "Sure thing, put up your own sign." He was going to let Farmer John do just about anything in order to get him to stop calling everyday to complain. The sheriff got no more calls from Farmer John.

Three weeks later, curiosity got the best of the sheriff and he decided to give Farmer John a call. "How's the problem with those drivers. Did you put up your sign?"

"Oh, I sure did. And not one chicken has been killed since then. I've got to go. I'm very busy." He hung up the phone.

The sheriff was really curious now and he thought to himself, "I'd better go out there and take a look at that sign. It might be something that WE could use to slow down drivers." So the sheriff drove out to Farmer John's house, and his jaw dropped the moment he saw the sign.

It was spray-painted on a sheet of wood: NUDIST COLONY - Go slow and watch out for the chicks!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Grandmas:
I was out walking with my Grandson. He picked up something off of the ground and started to put it in his mouth. I took the item away from him and I asked him not to do that. 'Why' my Grandson asked. "Because it's been on the ground; you don't know where it's been, it's dirty, and probably has germs," I replied At this point, my Grandson looked at me with total admiration and asked, "Grandma, how do you know all this stuff?? You are so smart." I was thinking quickly and said to him, "all Grandmas know stuff. It's on the Grandma Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Grandma." We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but he was evidently pondering this new information. "Oh....I get it! he beamed, So if you don't pass the test you have to be the Grandpa". 'Exactly,' I replied with a big smile on my face.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What is Celibacy?

Celibacy can be a choice in life, or a condition imposed by circumstances.

While attending a Marriage Weekend, Frank and his wife Ann listened to the instructor declare, “It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other.”

He then addressed the men. “Can you name and describe your wife's favorite flower?”

Frank leaned over, touched Ann’s arm gently, and whispered, “Gold Medal-All-Purpose, isn’t it?”

And thus began Frank's life of celibacy...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I never knew this.

Penguins



Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins
on the ice in Antarctica - where do they go ?

Wonder no more ! ! !

It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic
bird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life.


The penguin is very committed to its family and will
mate for life, as well as maintaining a form of
compassionate contact with its offspring throughout its life.


If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the family and social circle have been known to dig holes in the ice, using their vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird to be rolled into and buried.
The male penguins then gather in a circle
around the fresh grave and sing:




"Freeze a jolly good fellow"

"Freeze a jolly good fellow."


"Then they kick him in the ice hole."



You really didn't believe that I know
anything about penguins, did you!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. welcome

Welcome to the weekend! yay

I am back at work at 5:00am today, which means getting up at 3:30am. razz

I spent my day off helping move a car port for my friend Shane, so last night I slept like a baby. pacify

Since it's still last night, and I haven't even gone to bed yet, I'd better get to it. lol

Just don't read any of this until tomorrow morning after you get up, and it will all be perfectly clear to you then. thumbsup

If you've already read it, then you'd best just forget it, and re-read it tomorrow morning after 6:00am. snicker

Have a happy day everyone. wave

joe


_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#883774 - 04/26/13 10:05 PM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 65509
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Joe, how are you feeling? hearts
3:30 is an un-godly hour to get up for work. I hope you'll be home before you know it.

Have a happy day everyone!

Ana wave
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#883794 - 04/27/13 02:32 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 7976
Loc: Greece
Good morning boomers have all a nice day smile wave
_________________________
Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.



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#883796 - 04/27/13 04:46 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 17477
Loc: Marlborough USA
spring Good Morning Joe, Ana, Haroula and Cailyn. Joe I hope your work day flies by. Ana maybe you can find some down time today? Haroula enjoy your day. Cailyn coffee is on. Happy Day All! spring
_________________________
Gerry

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#883799 - 04/27/13 04:58 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: Kaki's Sister]
cailyn Online   sad
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 01/08/06
Posts: 6074
Loc: Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
Good morning Joe,Ana,Haroula,Gerry waveThanks for getting the coffee started Gerry! Wishing every body a great Saturday puppy
_________________________
I may not have gone where I intended to go,but I think I have ended up where I need to be.

Sue

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#883803 - 04/27/13 05:23 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 17477
Loc: Marlborough USA
Good Morning Cailyn. Hope you are getting some sleep. It's going to be a sunny day. Enjoy! wave
_________________________
Gerry

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#883805 - 04/27/13 06:44 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 8162
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. Robert is leaving for a week in the K springeys this morning. He's going on a fishing trip with some friends. Nan, can they barrow the band please? L4L, I hope Soot is feeling better this morning. To all here and all who follow, have a Great Saturday. Danish, Bacon, Eggs, Hash Browns, and Toast in the NC.
_________________________
Connie

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#883806 - 04/27/13 06:46 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
GBC Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 14696
Loc: Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Joe, early work day for you but you'll be home earlier.

Ana, enjoy whatever plans you have for the day.

Haroula, have a great day!

Gerry, enjoy the nice weather.

Cailyn, a great weekend is wished for you.

Church Board Meeting this morning then the day is mine. Nice weather here. Maybe a short bike ride later with the girls.

Morning Connie, enjoy the day!


Edited by GBC (04/27/13 06:48 AM)
_________________________
Gail

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#883813 - 04/27/13 09:16 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
Space Quest Fan Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 9646
Loc: Columbus,Ohio USA
thumbsup on the farmer John joke Joe. lol
_________________________
It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

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#883818 - 04/27/13 09:59 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 03/07/09
Posts: 5614
Loc: Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Good morning and have a great Saturday Joe, Ana, Haroula, Gerry, Cailyn, Connie, Gail, Space Quest and all who come in after me. wave

Sorry I disappeared for a few days again. It wasn't intentional. I've started practicing singing again, and on my days off, I've been doing it early in the morning so I'm sure to finish way before fiance comes home. He says it doesn't bother him, but I still prefer to finish early so I'm not belting out Broadway songs while he's sleeping or watching TV. lol

I've also been trying to get in touch with my voice teacher, but I've had no luck there yet. Then there is job hunting. Though my hours next week are improving, which is a good thing. If that keeps up, I should be okay for a while at least.

Anyway, since fiance is off today, I've decided to make today my day "off" from practicing and maybe do some gaming. grin

Hope everyone here has a fantastic Saturday. spring

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#883831 - 04/27/13 10:33 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
Midge Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 04/30/00
Posts: 14714
Loc: Massachusetts
Good morning. I have a First Communion celebration for my grandson this afternoon at one o'clock hearts. Work at 5:00.I completely cleaned my apartment this morning. I hope you're all having a good day. Thanks Joe for the funny jokes. I laughed out loud.

Midgie hearts
_________________________
Just do it.

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#883836 - 04/27/13 10:59 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
flutist Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/17/01
Posts: 11418
Loc: Kirkwood, MO USA
Good morning y'all.

I have to keep telling myself that today is Saturday. Our friends came over for dinner last night and it is usually Saturday nights. Ho hum. To add to the confusion, I am doing laundry today and house cleaning was yesterday. Oh good grief, now I am confused. confused Oh heck, I think I will go get some coffee and lose myself in a game. Its a crappy day anyway. Dreary and rainy. Yuck.

Bets
_________________________
Corgis fill your life with Joy, your heart with Love, and your soul with Sunshine.

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#883840 - 04/27/13 11:20 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
True Blue Boomer

Registered: 04/16/05
Posts: 21403
Loc: Usually up an Alabama Tree
Good morning gang. Slept in this morning as it is Saturday and I decided to take advantage of not having to work wink not to mention the fact my sinuses were pollen crazy yesterday flowing free like the overflowing Mississippi .. oh my shocked

Joe Gail and Midge drive safe meetings/work and enjoy the day when you're off

Thanks for the coffee and feast Gerry and Connie, I have time to enjoy it this morning

Have fun gaming with fiance Venus

Hope Saturday help unwinds life for you Bets .. enjoy the day

Hello Ana Haroula Sue SQF and the rest of the gang when you can stop by.

Have a great weekend! I am off to garden, game and listen to my whale music .. I am feeling much better this morning .. oh my but I was not a happy camper last night thumbsdown

Whoosh...

L4L hearts

wave
_________________________
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games

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#883846 - 04/27/13 11:39 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 7353
Loc: San Diego, CA
Joe! Everyone knows that the world does not exist at 3:30 am! It doesn't come on-line until the programmers wake up and push the ON button. it's true, it's true! We are all just computer generated avatars on a green screen. Yup.

OK now that my brain is finally in gear, it's going to be a strange day. Not to mention the full moon, but this morning, some seagulls, yes gulls, a whole flock of them, were circling my yard. Eeeek! I live about 2 miles from the South end of San Diego Bay, and gulls are common around parking lots, etc. But circling over my house isn't common and they were making sounds like a wounded cat. Took me a minute or two to locate the strange sounds and then figure out it was the gulls making it.

Either they found some yummy food around my neighborhood, or we are going to have a big storm (they all come inland when it's a biggie). Even have pelicans flying overhead at times.

AND the big news: I'm finally joining the human race and have purchased my first cell phone. Never thought I would, don't intend to use it for anything except emergency calls in my car or long distance (comes freeee with the phone all over the world). It's a TracFone. Bought a little flip one so it wouldn't be squashed in my purse. Got a great deal by shopping all over. Phone is simple, actually has more stuff than I want, but it was the best deal. I have no desire to text message or surf the net on it, but it's on there. Ugh. Just have to use more 'minutes' to use those functions. So simple. Love the TracFone plan. Total cost to have it figures out to 9 bucks a month for the year. Oh and it comes with 'double' minutes for life. I buy minutes once a year and whatever I buy, they double the amount at no extra charge.

Ran around town and found the stores have very limited stock of anything good on TracFone, so finally got one on Amazon for a better price than anywhere, got the year of minutes for 20% less than list price AND since Amazon has a 'free' shipping option if you buy a certain amount, I even got my favorite Stash English Breakfast 100 count tea bags for FREE when I lumped them into the cart. Wow! So I saved about 25 bucks overall and can hardly wait for my stuff to arrive so I can play with my new toy.
_________________________
WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.

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#883851 - 04/27/13 11:56 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: Sorta Blonde]
Darlene Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/10/00
Posts: 9442
Loc: Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers and hope you're feeling better today! An early morning to work means an early homecoming! We'll be here!

Good morning, Ana, Haroula, Gerry, Cailyn, Connie, Gail, SQFan, venus, Midgie, Bets, Soot, and Sorta!

Good morning, all sweet 'Boomies! It's Soveryhappytofinallygettotheweekendtoenjoysomeeasypeasytimewoohooandbooyah Saturday!

smile

Hubby's off playing racquetball. I have a phone chat with best bud in a bit. Then we'll do church late afternoon instead of tomorrow morning. Then we're doing dinner tonight with two of Hubby's sisters and their Hubbys. Daughter and her boyfriend will join us as well. Very fun! Great company!

Alrighty, off to see what's afoot!
_________________________
You become what you think about. Change your thoughts, change your life. - Dko

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