English - Who needs that? I'm never going to England!
During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password: "MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento"
When asked why she had such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.
Airport Security Suggestion....
An engineer (ex-NASA project director) has what I think is
the near perfect solution for airport security!
*Here's a solution to all the controversy over full-body
scanners at the airports. Have a booth that you can step into
that will not X-ray you, but will detonate any explosive device
you may have on you.*
*It would be a win-win for everyone, and there would be none of this
[blip] about racial profiling and this method would eliminate a long
and expensive trial. Justice would be quick and swift..*
Lady: Do you drink?
Lady: How much a day?
Man: Three 6 packs
Lady: How much per 6 pack
Man: about $10.00
Lady: And how long have you been drinking?
Man: 15 years
Lady: So 1 6 pack cost $10.00 and you have 3 packs a day which puts your spending each month at $900. In one year, it would be $10,800 correct?
Lady: If in 1 year you spend $10,800 not accounting for inflation, the past 15 years puts your spending at $162,000 correct?
Lady: Do you know that if you hadn't drank, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 15 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari?
Man: Do you drink?
Man: Where's your Ferrari then?
Q. Why can't men get mad cow disease?
A. Because they're pigs.
At twenty we worry about what others think of us.
At forty we don't care about what others think of us.
At sixty we discover they haven't been thinking about us at all.
A man suffered a serious heart attack while shopping in a store. The store
clerks called 911 when they saw him collapse to the floor. The paramedics
rushed the man to the nearest hospital where he had emergency open heart
He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at the
Catholic Hospital he was taken to. A nun was seated next to his bed holding
a clip board loaded with several forms, and a pen. She asked him how he was
going to pay for his treatment.
"Do you have health insurance?" she asked.
He replied in a raspy voice, "No health insurance."
The nun asked, "Do you have money in the bank?"
He replied, "No money in the bank."
"Do you have a relative who could help you with the payments?" asked the
He said, "I only have a spinster sister, and she is a nun."
The nun became agitated and announced loudly, "Nuns are not spinsters! Nuns
are married to God."
The patient replied, "Perfect. Send the bill to my brother-in-law."
A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. "But officer," the man began, "I can explain."
"Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back."
"But, officer, I just wanted to say,..."
"And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!"
A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."
"Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom."
Good morning everyboomie.
It's a new day's diner. Yahoo!
Come one, come all & we'll all have a ball.
I'll cook, you eat, the cuisine here is a real treat.
As you go about your day, keep a smiling all the way.
If you're working then get to it, if you've chores for Pete's sake do it.
Need some help? Give me a call, I'll hang "help wanted" on the wall.
Now I'm off to bed......
....cause I'm a sleepy head.
Have a happy day everyone.