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#886057 - 05/07/13 02:39 AM Jokes.
curly Online   happy
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 07/06/03
Posts: 27193
Loc: Ottawa Ontario Canada
I need help with these jokes.

-1.I broke a mirror in my house. I'm supposed to get seven years of bad luck, but my ------ thinks he can get me five.

-2.I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in --- c--.

-3.I installed a skylight in my apartment. The people who live above me are f------!

4.I used to work at a factory where they made h------s; but you couldn't park anywhere near the place.

-5.I like my dental hygienist. I think she's very pretty. So when I'm waiting in her office I eat an entire bag of Oreo cookies. She had to cancel all her other a-----------.

-6.There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the e---------.

-7.There's a pizza place near where I live that sells only slices. In the back you can see a guy tossing a t------- in the air.

-8.Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a l------- on the same night.

-9.Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a b--- h--- and a b--- g--, and still think they are sexy.

-10.What is the most important thing to learn in chemistry?
Never l--- the s----.

lol


Edited by curly (05/08/13 01:34 AM)
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#886061 - 05/07/13 03:49 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
bermag45 Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 10/31/03
Posts: 4873
Loc: Deepest darkest Norfolk, Engla...
1. Lawyer lol Good morning Curly wave thumbsup

Bernie happydance

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#886063 - 05/07/13 04:03 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
curly Online   happy
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 07/06/03
Posts: 27193
Loc: Ottawa Ontario Canada
Hi Bernie, good answer.
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Show me a man with both feet on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't put on his pants.

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#886077 - 05/07/13 06:04 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
Kaki's Sister Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 16310
Loc: Marlborough USA
5. appointments lol
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Gerry

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#886085 - 05/07/13 06:31 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
curly Online   happy
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 07/06/03
Posts: 27193
Loc: Ottawa Ontario Canada
Merci Gerry.
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Show me a man with both feet on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't put on his pants.

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#886086 - 05/07/13 06:45 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
GBC Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 13757
Loc: Massachusetts
8. laxative lol

Morning curly
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Gail

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#886089 - 05/07/13 07:20 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: GBC]
Niki Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 10/30/11
Posts: 4624
Loc: UK
9. bald head and a beer gut lol
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What are we? Women - What do we want? We don't know - When do we want it? Now

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#886093 - 05/07/13 07:38 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
Redz Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 08/12/00
Posts: 11719
Loc: Doylestown, Pennsylvania
7. tortilla grin wave

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#886095 - 05/07/13 07:54 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
Cue Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 04/07/03
Posts: 11621
Loc: The Outer Limits
2. one car lol Morning Curly wave
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Did you ever stop to think...and then forget to start again!

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#886102 - 05/07/13 08:22 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
curly Online   happy
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 07/06/03
Posts: 27193
Loc: Ottawa Ontario Canada
Joan try again, last letter is e. Others are right.
_________________________
Show me a man with both feet on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't put on his pants.

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#886108 - 05/07/13 08:52 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
manxman Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/23/02
Posts: 13913
Loc: Unionville
10. lick the spoon smile
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Sometimes lost is where you need to be. Just because you don't know your direction doesn't mean you don't have one.

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#886113 - 05/07/13 09:11 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
Sondi Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 08/15/05
Posts: 3429
Loc: California
3. furious grin

wave

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#886116 - 05/07/13 09:33 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 6907
Loc: Greece
7.Triangle smile wave
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As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.





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#886129 - 05/07/13 11:05 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
Jema Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 09/11/02
Posts: 13002
Loc: Virginia
Good Morning, Curly cat

6. escalators?
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Wouldn't that jar your mustard!

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#886131 - 05/07/13 11:16 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
curly Online   happy
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 07/06/03
Posts: 27193
Loc: Ottawa Ontario Canada
Good ones.
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Show me a man with both feet on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't put on his pants.

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